| Advice (no relationship, sorry)
Posted: 3/21/2006 3:33:56 PM | I've been thinking.. I don't think I can go to school AND work at the same time. My parents want me to be going to university fulltime AND working parttime during the year. While I'm off for the summer they want me to work fulltime. I DON'T WANNA!
I want to go take some courses this summer and get them out of the way, catch up and everything. I don't NEED a job like they say I do. It's not even so much that I *don't want to* do both at the same time, it's more that I CAN'T. I'm so easily stressed out and when I am I just kind of go into this completely retarded state where I accomplish nothing.
What do you guys think? Should I:
a) Work fulltime all summer, not take any classes and STAY BEHIND
b) Take the summer courses, catch up and feel like I'm doing something in life
c) Work and go to school, haev a breakdown because I'm pathetic
d) Skip town (this is my first choice, really)
Pleeeeeease someone help, I'm at the end of my short rope.
ps- I don't know where to put this and it's totally irrelevant to anything having to do with relationships, but sorry. You people are smarter than anyone else I would ask advice from. | |
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| Advice (no relationship, sorry)
Posted: 3/21/2006 3:41:14 PM | | If your 20 and in their house and they want you in school, then you should be. My son 21 works a full time job and goes to school full time. Its their rule when your under their roof. Sorry but its their house. | |
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| Advice (no relationship, sorry)
Posted: 3/21/2006 3:42:26 PM | Well, in my opinion, I would definitely take Door #2.
Do your parents want you to do this because they are paying for your University and want you to contribute in some way?
When you get stressed out, you need to find something that relaxes you and puts you in the proper state of mind for studying or doing your homework.
University is tough and I just don't know how the kids that have worked for me do it. Lots of them only work part time throughout the week but they are also able to study at work and do homework. So it would depend on the type of job you would obtain.
Anyway, I believe Door #2 would be the best option. At least that way you would be caught up with whatever you are behind in. And if you can manage to find a weekend job and can handle that with all the studying and homework then go for it.
Just my opinion riot. Good luck whatever you decide.  | |
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| Advice (no relationship, sorry)
Posted: 3/21/2006 3:43:43 PM | | Our agreement before was that I would go to school full time and wouldn't have to work or pay rent, suddenly they tell me I have to work along with school, but don't have to pay rent... er, WHY? It's not like they're giving me an allowance, I don't use their money. | |
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| Advice (no relationship, sorry)
Posted: 3/21/2006 3:46:01 PM | | The answer to why,is something only they can answer. Maybe money is tight, and they need help. That are they are tring to get you use to paying out, so when you do move out it wont be to big of a shock to you. You will be use to paying money out. | |
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| Advice (no relationship, sorry)
Posted: 3/21/2006 3:49:31 PM | | If they need money then all I have to do is call up the student loan folks and tell them to up the loan. It's not as if I spend thousands of dollars on fun anyway.. I'm already nervous enough (social anxiety) to care too much about being out all the time and I'm already on the verge of shooting myself in the face, which they really don't understand. | |
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| Advice (no relationship, sorry)
Posted: 3/21/2006 3:54:09 PM | Do they understand that you would like to take the summer courses to catch up and that would make everything less stressful for you?
Can you sit down and talk with them calmly about it and work things out perhaps?
You really need to calm down and not be so hard on yourself. You could ask them why the change in plans and discuss the pros and cons of both sides with them.
Either way, you definitely need to talk to them without shouting and arguing about it. | |
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| Advice (no relationship, sorry)
Posted: 3/21/2006 3:56:23 PM | | Uping a student loan so you have more to pay back later isn't a answer. Then later down the line you will still be thinking that. Schools have people to talk to, that might help you talk to them. Your talking about shooting your self in the face, and you haven't had hard life yet, until your on your own, with no help. Always think I know tommorro is another day, I can do this one day at a time. | |
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| Advice (no relationship, sorry)
Posted: 3/21/2006 4:42:06 PM | Forget school. Get some counselling so that you can function in society.
If you are like this now what will you do when you finish school, and have to work full time with schedules and deadlines, traffic and co-workers who expect you to do a good job!? You sound like a brat to be honest. Do you know how lucky you are that you have the option to stay at home in the first place while you are in school? Try living on your own, working full time plus and going to school full time, not to mention the people who do this plus are single parents. Most people work and go to school, what makes you so special? | |
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| Advice (no relationship, sorry)
Posted: 3/21/2006 4:48:36 PM | I WOULD HAVE TO SAY THIS...SIT YOUR PARENTS DOWN AND COMMUNICATE YOUR WANTS NEEDS AND DESIRES,AFTER YOU ARE DONE EXPLAINING TO THEM WHAT AND HOW YOU FEEL...then sit ,listen and try to understand what they are saying as well,and asking what they want from you...I believe communication plays a big role in this decision.
Do not stop talking to your parents..if they didnt think you could do it ,they wouldnt say you can...Its no ones fault.They have faith in you or wouldnt be standing behind you in the first place.
Talk to them...earlier the better. | |
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| Advice (no relationship, sorry)
Posted: 3/21/2006 4:52:01 PM | After talking with your parents it turns out they want you to be all you can be - and since you are living at home at 20 they would like you to be all that sooner rather than later -
They believe that you have a relatively empty plate living at home at 20 - they feel this has enabled you to keep a child's mentality and play helpless - looking to others to solve your problems and feed you answers - barely able to maintain the emotional maturity to avoid breaking down -
They also ask that you title your post: Not a relationship thread, sorry, or not interested in a relationship, not seeking relationship etc. but that you not say no relationship, sorry -as there is nothing yet to be sorry about.
I'm a full time masters level student, working full time, doing an internship and I still manage to find time for dispensing invaluable psycho babble to the masses, working out and touching myself inappropriately.
No oral sex, sorry.
Go get em Tiger! | |
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| Advice (no relationship, sorry)
Posted: 3/21/2006 5:08:03 PM | | I think you should go online and check out the Fruitcake Lady. She had a great response to this question. I couldn't say it any better. | |
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| Advice (no relationship, sorry)
Posted: 3/21/2006 6:08:24 PM | First I'd like to say don't presume to know what I've been through in my life, secondly.. a brat? I've worked fulltime jobs, I've lived on my own, I am not an ignorant child. I came here for advice, not to have you cut me down and tell me that I know nothing.
Staying home was NOT my idea at all in the first place, my Father INSISTED that I stay at home while I was going to school (not to mention WORKING two jobs while I was at it). I don't feel like I should have to keep everyone pleased when I'm trying to get somewhere in the future. I don't feel that working, missing out on opportunities to get myself back on track academically are CONDUCIVE to a meaningful and productive future.. and I certainly don't feel that I should even be defending myself when all I did was ask for some advice.
That aside, like I said I've done the whole fulltime school and fulltime (later parttime) job on the side.. I bombed. Sure, maybe I'm not the most organized or strong willed person (like all these single parent students you've been mentioning) but that's the way I am.
I don't know what else to say beyond that. | |
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