| Fell For It Again!
Posted: 3/21/2006 8:19:31 PM | My ex and I had split up just over a month ago because he was meeting girls online. I found a profile he had created while we were together, tricked him, and found out he was in fact meeting other girls. Whatever. I ended it because I just couldn't trust him, and what's a relationship without trust?! There isn't one! So it ended. Well a time went on, I started seeing a guy.. nothing serious, just a few dates..no biggie. I had been talking to my ex casually on MSN, and on the phone once and a while..whatever. So I was online one day (a month had gone by) and he messaged me, asking me to meet him for coffee, said he wanted to talk, and he wanted to give me back some of my things. ( we decided to try and become friends again). So I met him for coffee, things went okay, it was awkward because I hadn't seen him in a while, and then I went to work afterwards. For some reason I called him and asked him to dinner so him and I could talk. I don't know why, but I wanted to try and be around him, or see him without feeling tense or awkward. Well it ended with me taking him back. He BEGGED me, and CRIED telling me how much he missed me, how he lost the greatest thing that ever happened to him. He said he knew he screwed up, and he didn't want to lose me ever again.. so he promised that things would be different. He said he would do anything to keep us alive, because he loved me more than anything. He said he would fight for us, prove everyone wrong that told me never to take him back.. He said he would work his a** off to prove that I could trust him again, he was willing to work to gain my trust.. Things seemed truly different. Well things were great for about a week... then we get into an arguement, and the next day he's telling me that he doesn't even know why we're together, he thinks it was a mistake getting back. So I told him that I would give him until the end of my shift to figure out if he loved me enough to come home, and I said if he wasn't home by the time I finished work to never come back again... well I got home, and sure enough, he wasn't there! WTF?! He told me, his friends, my friends, everyone that he was going to do me right this time, he was that in love with me..no more fear of commitment, no more hurting me, no more games...then all of a sudden, he ups and leaves! Now there is much more to this story, so there could be a thousand and one reasons why he left.. maybe cuz he didn't want to hurt me, and because he was facing a lot of legal issues, maybe he didn't want to drag me down... so many things.. I just wanna know... Do people do this kinda thing for shits and giggles?! If he wanted a f*ck, he coulda went to the bar...but he came to ME... why would a person go through all that trouble, and begging, pleading, and crying if what they were saying wasn't true?! When I told him that if he didn't show, to never come back.. for the FIRST TIME I saw tears forming in his eyes..
Now that I think about it, I could have had a lot of things to do with him leaving.. he told me he felt on edge around me..perhaps because I drilled it into his head that I didn't trust him, and that it would take me a loooong time to attempt it again, and the fact that I told him I could live without him..Before I couldnt go long without seeing him..but I lasted a MONTH and was still breathing.. I wanted him to know that I wasn't going to let him hurt me again so I made it clear that I didn't NEED him to LIVE. I dunno.. Im hurt, and confused! And my fingers hurt from typing! lol What do ya think?! | |
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| Fell For It Again!
Posted: 3/21/2006 8:42:29 PM | | He turned it around on you to make it your fault again. | |
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| Fell For It Again!
Posted: 3/21/2006 8:43:29 PM | Wow! Sounds alot like my story ... if you lived closer, were in my age bracket, I'd wonder if it were the same guy! I finally found my inner courage, let my head do the thinking and not my heart, and was able to say NO - after time after time, 23 text messages begging forgiveness, he loves me, I'm the best thing, blah, blah, blah... So I guess men of all ages pull this crap! Why do they hurt us like that? And tell us we're the best thing that's ever happened to them, their friends tell me too - but I just wasn't "enough" for him - he had a profile on an adult site and whenever i wasn't with him, other women were - it was a revolving door of different women coming over just to have sex with him. Why would he put me at risk like that? and then beg me over and over to please just come talk to him, lets work this out, blah, blah, blah... I would just like to find a really nice, honest, decent man who will adore all that I am - and appreciate the woman that I am... I hope you get over it alot sooner than I did... you're young and have much more opportunity finding a really nice guy. Men in my age bracket all want the young little hardbody barbies.. it's so frustrating, this dating game!!
Best of luck girl.. be strong!! DON'T GIVE IN to his bullshit anymore!! Kick his lying, cheating ass to the curb!! | |
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| Fell For It Again!
Posted: 3/21/2006 8:51:27 PM | OMYGOSH you have been through an ordeal! And to become vulnerable again to him and have him not appreciate it...but him just give up. That would hurt.
I am weary of men on the internet, (yet here I am), because I think a few may be addicted to dating sites.. like they can't give them up even if they find someone.
If I was dating someone.. I would lose interest in the internet.. would be doing other things to relieve stress.
I don't know about your ex, maybe he didnt realize what it would entail to get back together and work on the relationship, and decided he couldnt' do it afterall. But that doesn't make it any less painful for you, hon, I'm sorry your hurt, but you know now that you can and will go on without him, and things will get better | |
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| Fell For It Again!
Posted: 3/21/2006 8:52:31 PM | | I guess we all go through the same thing... same story after story...sad, and sickening really..what is the point in hurting people.. the one's we say we "love".. I know I'm young, and I don't want his bullshit to influence my opinion of others, but I have a hard time trusting to begin with.. I just don't understand what happened.. It wasn't another girl, it was... this isn't working like I thought it would what happend to "i'll love you forever, and fight til the end for us"?! f*cking a**hole! im so mad, and bitter! | |
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| Fell For It Again!
Posted: 3/21/2006 8:55:46 PM | | I pray to God for the strengh..and even though I made it before, and I know I will once again..it hurts SO bad. I do love him despite his bullshit! | |
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| Fell For It Again!
Posted: 3/21/2006 8:57:09 PM | | ^^^ I agree, if your seeing someone, the dating sites should end. OP: I'm truly sorry to hear about your situation. Don't loose trust in men, some of us are really cool and care for the feelings of the women we are with... Good luck | |
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| Fell For It Again!
Posted: 3/21/2006 9:01:17 PM | | I try not too..but it's so hard when it just keeps happening...with different ones too.. But especially when someone begs, and pleads, and cries their eyes out because they screwed up, and they tell you how in love with you they are, and they are now willing to do anything..and then BAM.. gone, again! | |
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| Fell For It Again!
Posted: 3/21/2006 9:03:12 PM | YEP..gotta admit..been there too.actually having the residual effects of it now.we broke up ..got together ..same shit for about 4 yrs!..don`t be as dumb as i was!You can`t save the world(something i have come to realize)with him it wasn`t cheating..it was drinking.It turned him into an a$$hole everytime..and he drinks from the time he gets up until the time he passes out..and calls me..and INSISTS that he has not had a drink!Well..today the guy is sitting on MY front porch(while i was out)good thing for neighbours!and left before i got home ,than God..but my daughter and her friends saw him while they walked home from school..across the street..there he was,guzzling a beer ,walking down the street...he called me drunk,from a payphone, and swore he didn`t drink today/LOL..YA oooooo K!he he..well we know where he is going..ANYWHERE BUT HERE!Kick his memory to the curb..he is a jerk.I think some men like the CHASE..but when the op is submissive..the fun is gone..so they start it all over again..I have probably been sucked in by this guy and his regular deliveries of flowers,and other items i dion`t want..about 20 times..s l o w learner I guess..but not today!I LEARNED ALOT...good luck and i hope that with spring coming EVERYONE FINDS SOMEONE TO REALLY LOVE.. | |
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| Fell For It Again!
Posted: 3/21/2006 9:18:00 PM | | I realize that now. I never should have taken him back until he PROVED everything.. got a real job, had his daughter in order with the whole custody thing. You live and learn I guess. That which doesn't kill us only makes us stronger.. or so they say. | |
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| Fell For It Again!
Posted: 3/21/2006 9:33:20 PM | | When I told him that if he didn't show, to never come back.. for the FIRST TIME I saw tears forming in his eyes.. Tells me a lot how about you. If you didnt mean this why did you tell him this. It was rather cold I'd say. | |
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| Fell For It Again!
Posted: 3/21/2006 9:42:42 PM | | When I told him that, I did because he was telling me he wasn't sure why he bothered coming back into my life, so I told him if he wasn't sure to just leave now, cuz I was not going to let myself get attached to him again and then get hurt.. if that was his intention...leave now! We had been together for a while, and he NEVER showed emotion...he was the cruel, cold hearted sonof**** ever... so I did mean what I said... I told him..if you love me as much as you say you do, prove it. If you do, you will be back here when I'm done work so we can talk, and work things out.. he wasn't here. What does that say about him?! | |
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| Fell For It Again!
Posted: 3/21/2006 9:50:35 PM | | hmmmmmmmmmmmmm..Trust is a sacret thing...and once its crushed often its too difficult to repair or people just dont know how...Think what you need to do is stop blaming yourself...it really as nothing to do with you why hes behaving as he is...hes not ready for a commitment and sadly your hurting because of it. This online dating is a huge web of deception and can become an addiction to most...people use it to inflate their egos,...feel wanted and desired when really its only a band aid for what really going on under neath...I wish you all the best and ask yourself something really important..do you feel you deserve better than how hes treating you? then listen to your heart and put yourself in loving situations...once you learn to love yourself more you wont accept being treated less than you feel you deserve and you wont blame yourself for things you cannot understand or have answs to.We cannot change other people but we can change ourselves... | |
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| Fell For It Again!
Posted: 3/22/2006 2:52:33 PM | | Earth bound angel is right, you cannot never really tell what is out there and what you have at home. You have to respect yourself and understand the decisions that you make. Sometimes we don't think and act in haste but usually we act out of hurt feelings. The best thing that you can do is to pick yourself up and brush yourself off and move on. There are alot of decent men out there just waiting and searching for the right woman. You could be their ideal mate. Remember respect yourself and believe in who you are. Things will fall into place just give it a chance. | |
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| Fell For It Again!
Posted: 3/22/2006 3:23:26 PM | Welllll...looks like you (OP) have plenty of company in the game of "take-back".
Seems sooo many of us have been there, done that, and vowed it will NEVER happen again!
Don't let it...get off that rollercoaster. Now.
I never once (in my early years) would (ever!) go back to an ended relationship. Never.Once over...over.
BUT...one fine day a few years back I met, got seriously involved with, Mr Rebound Guy. WHEW! (And even as a teen I never enjoyed roller-coasters...LOL!)
He wanted me, he didn't. He cried. He didn't. He begged,pleaded,promised, ad nauseum.And suddenly,for the first time in my life I was a human pretzel. UGH.
Well. Never again. I now know the "signs", the "red flags", and I quietly back away, close the door, and run.
You are so very young. At this early age you are learning to recognize that "type" off the bat...thanks to the teachings of this cad. Thank him for the lessons, and get the hell away. Permanently. There is no such animal as that "friends for now" BS. Maybe in 10 years but not now.
Say Bye, have a good life, see ya>and move on.
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| Fell For It Again!
Posted: 3/22/2006 4:10:33 PM | girl it happens more than you think. the same thing happen to me. we broke up, we saw each other now and then. he wanted to talk to get back together and made alot of promises. because we have kids together i said ok. two years later (now) hes out and about again usingthe say b***s*** story as two years ago. but you know the sad part he puts his kids second in his live and trust me if you guys don't have kids together this is not something you would want to go thru
keep your head up, i am and i'm feeling better and happier
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opeth
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Joined: 8/4/2004
Msg: 17 | |
| Fell For It Again!
Posted: 3/22/2006 4:16:00 PM | **waves**
''see ya''...
thats what i would of done...forget his ass... u can do better | |
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| Fell For It Again!
Posted: 3/22/2006 4:25:54 PM | | Words are free and flowing......character speaks volumes. You know the truth. | |
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| Fell For It Again!
Posted: 3/22/2006 4:45:33 PM | A Man is only as good as his word, deed & actions"
We all know the truth and hind sight is 20 / 20 and sometimes its hard to listen to your head when your emotions are in the way .. don't beat yourself up about it OP, call it another lesson learned & move on... | |
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| Fell For It Again!
Posted: 3/22/2006 5:00:21 PM | | If you truly want know your mans character. Turn off the his volume. Don't listen to one word he says but watch everything he does(in your mind completely dismiss every word he's ever said)(and consider everything he's ever done)The best predicator of future behavior is past behavior. Then you'll know what and who he is. | |
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| Fell For It Again!
Posted: 3/22/2006 5:29:50 PM | | omfg! one sentence....MEN ARE INSANE!!!!!! doesn't matter how old they are or what class they all seem to be insane...at least the ones online are....and never ever trust a dude with a computer....lol | |
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| Fell For It Again!
Posted: 3/22/2006 5:30:36 PM | He didn't miss you. He missed a doormat.
Listen, it isn't your fault, so get that garbage out of your head. HE begged YOU. Basically, you fell for the same lines millions of other women fall for.
Men get it too. Believe me. | |
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| Fell For It Again!
Posted: 3/22/2006 6:49:00 PM | | I'm computer illiterate.. what is "OP" lmao! I'm a blonde, gimmie a break! hehe | |
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| Fell For It Again!
Posted: 3/22/2006 7:00:42 PM | ya know that's bull. there are lots of people in this world. don't waste yer time on garbage... | |
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| Fell For It Again!
Posted: 3/22/2006 7:19:39 PM | | Then what the hell are you doing on here?looking for a woman? | |
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