Garf
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Joined: 4/4/2005
Msg: 1 | |
| Well everyone else is doing it.
Posted: 3/25/2006 1:46:05 PM | Seeing as how so many people are doing it, I thought I'd make a profile review offer of my own.
Here's the catch:
1. Fix your spelling and grammar to make yourself appear as intelligent as possible.
2. Don't use run on sentences with no punctuation it's the first thing I'll tell you to fix.
3. Pics help. If you don't have them; get some.
4. I'll review anyone who asks, but if your profile says "prefer not to say" at every opportunity, and the rest is blank: I'll tell you flat out that you're stupid.
5. If you're looking for Intimate Encounters, and you want a review; email me instead, and I'll give a more intimate review to insure discretion.
Guys:
Women are mentally stimulated much more than guys are, typically.
Therefore: Three sentences about you car, your manhood, and your ego...isn't gonna work. Write some substance.
Women:
Guys don't read long profiles, typically.
Shorten them up to two paragraphs, and put a space between them to break it up for easy reading.
Smilies in excess are annoying for many people, use them if you want, but not a ton of them for the sole purpose of decorating.
That being said: Welcome to my new thread.  | |
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| Well everyone else is doing it.
Posted: 3/25/2006 1:48:32 PM | garf,
along with msanthroppe and bandito, I value your opinion most highly. Would you taske a look at mine? Thanks in advance! | |
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Garf
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Joined: 4/4/2005
Msg: 3 | |
| Well everyone else is doing it.
Posted: 3/25/2006 2:26:16 PM | Thanks Martin,
For starters: You only vote for people ten years younger than you, for some reason. Some women might take this the wrong way. Do a basic search in your area, and vote for a bunch of women in your age range, to boost your odds of breaking the ice, as well as getting rid of a possible "dirty old man" stigma. 
You're 45 and haven't decided on children yet. Maybe you should clarify a reason for this, lol.
Descirbing yourself as superficial is like putting an "off switch" in your profile. Not a good thing.
You seem pre-occupied with assuring that the physical aspect of the relationship is important, but not necessary. Paradoxial? Tone it down a bit, the women who will want to meet you are not 30 somethings, but they're not dead yet either. Intimacy is something that will come naturally, and the message you're sending is a bit strong. It might scare a potential lady away, and attract the wrong type of woman.
A high school sporting event? Back to the dirty old man stigma...it'd better not be girls' volleyball!  Perhaps something that's a bit more personal, yet still public? The high school thing is kinda odd, in my opinion. Try bowling or something that is active, yet gives time to relax with drinks in a well lit atmosphere or something.
You seem very focused, and know what you want. You just have to tone down the physicalities of it a bit, and tell her what you have to offer as well.
Revise, and I'll review. | |
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| Well everyone else is doing it.
Posted: 3/25/2006 2:38:08 PM | Garf-
Garf please help Me.....I'm having no luck on this site...Women don't read My mail they just delete..........!!!!!! Please help running out of options and very desperate !!!!!!!!
They won't talk to Me what am I doing wrong Please help before I delete My account.... | |
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Garf
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Joined: 4/4/2005
Msg: 6 | |
| Well everyone else is doing it.
Posted: 3/25/2006 2:44:11 PM | Leafs: Smartass...
****JUST HERE FOR THE FORUMS****
LEAFS RULE!
Best of luck to all fishies!
That's all you really need. | |
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Garf
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Joined: 4/4/2005
Msg: 8 | |
| Well everyone else is doing it.
Posted: 3/25/2006 3:00:43 PM | Thanks, Bucs...
TheGlimmerMan:
If they're white: Show your teeth when you smile...I know you can't (or won't) show your whole face, so at least impress with the enamel.
If you want women to contact you outside of friendship: change your damned setting to dating, lol.
Not answeing mail with no pics? Mildly hypocritical of you, Glimmer...what does a pic have to do with being friends, anyway? The same rule applies for age requirements. You're too contradictory, lol.
Focus less on the overwhelming importance of your job as a superhero, and more about you as a person. Also, focus a bit more of your attention on what she should be like as a person...aside from the female version of Agent Fox.
Interests should include something you can enjoy on a physical level, without chasing flying saucers. Physical activity is a good way to spend time together, and talk about later over cookies and milk.
Revise, and I'll review.
Martin: Didn't know you were rural, sorry for the presumption. But if there's bowling to enjoy, then that's great. | |
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| Well everyone else is doing it.
Posted: 3/25/2006 3:01:40 PM | Garf,
I'm going to print my profile, and your review, and look at each suggestion. At first glance, every one seems to provide an improvement. I'll re-write it( I don't know how to cut and paste, so I'll literally have to re-write it) and re-submit.
One thing I can't change. This morning, before I ran a 5K race (6:06 miles and damn proud of it) I went online and decided to rate some women. I specifically ASKED for 40+ and it kicked out all those women in their thirties. I guess I could specifically rate some older women to balance it out.
High school sporting events odd? Man, try living in the sticks. That's the social highlight of my small town's week, the 'home' basketball game. We get hundreds, sometimes a thousand to attend these games. Now that you mentioned it, girls mud wrestling was recently added to offset the Midget NASCAR racing offered to the boys last year. Bowling is a great suggestion.
Thanks for the insight, and I get a revised back to you soon ( OK, maybe)
Thanks again,
Martin | |
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| Well everyone else is doing it.
Posted: 3/25/2006 3:04:58 PM | Revise, and I'll review.
Thank You oh wise dating One......bows...I'm getting mail already......
Garf please shave and I'll revise.....................rotflmao!!!!! | |
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Garf
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Joined: 4/4/2005
Msg: 13 | |
| Well everyone else is doing it.
Posted: 3/25/2006 3:47:29 PM | Picker!
Holy crap, you have a pic!  It's about time.
Once again, an older guy who doesn't know if he wants kids or not...tsk tsk. At least say something about this, rather than just letting in hang in the air.
lmao. You have more in your interests, than you do in your main body. wtf?
Well...
Perhaps reword the About Me section to something with less commas, and more adjectives if you want to make a profile like this.
Multiple sentences, and elaborate on the joke some more to keep the flow of the humour going strong towards a good finishing line.
Perhaps just using an acronym to describe your group, with promise to explain to those who ask. Curiousity will make be a good enough icebreaker to get the women to contact you.
I've seen you write many posts over the past six months. I know how eloquent you can be.
Stop faking it. | |
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Garf
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Joined: 4/4/2005
Msg: 14 | |
| Well everyone else is doing it.
Posted: 3/25/2006 4:00:02 PM | mthr2kds:
You're not a BBW...you're a few extra pounds.
Mention what your "other religion" is, unless it's illegal.
Your writing style is very unorganized, but that chaos makes you very appear very energetic, which you probably are.
The full body pic is nice, but too far away.
I can see wher you're going with the monologue, but the punctuation is inconsistent and all over the place. Pick a style of versing, and stick with it.
This profile is the perfect length...if you can keep it this length, that would be the best.
You're very casual with your writing, hopefully you're the same in person, because I'm sure there's going to be guys wanting to meet you for coffee soon enough.
If you revise it; I wil review it. | |
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| Well everyone else is doing it.
Posted: 3/25/2006 4:05:47 PM | Garf,
Oh wise one!!
I've included your suggestions, with a few stylistic changes of my own. Could you see if it flows like 'butta' or clots like rancid oleo?
Thanks,
Martin | |
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Garf
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Joined: 4/4/2005
Msg: 19 | |
| Well everyone else is doing it.
Posted: 3/25/2006 4:38:01 PM | Martin; flows good now, although the changes were subtle.
Mthr, you're very welcome.
Picker...*sigh*
SexyCrazyCool: You've got mail. | |
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| Well everyone else is doing it.
Posted: 3/25/2006 4:40:44 PM | Garf,
You sweet thing, you...
Let me know if I manage to keep your attention for the time it takes to read my very looooooooooooooooooooong profile!
I eagerly await your opinion!
~Kikilynn | |
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Garf
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Joined: 4/4/2005
Msg: 23 | |
| Well everyone else is doing it.
Posted: 3/25/2006 6:03:28 PM | Martin, your pics are fine, lol...they're very suiting for the profile, don't change them.
kinkilynn:
You only vote for women...what the heck? Well, if you're just looking for friends, that's not really an issue, but some guys might double check your sexual preference before emailing you....(and then I read the rest of your profile, so never mind, I take it back.)
The pic is a little dark, so it kind of blends in with the rest of the profiles. The blue shirt pic is the best one for your main pic in my opinion, because it's bright and welcoming.
Your interests no doubt cause a few unwanted emails, maybe putting in some more serious interests to broaden your horizons, and offer some ice breakers.
Seeing as you're appealing to both genders; make the stuff that's geared towards men the first half of your profile, so they get to read what they like before their attention gets redirected back to your pics.
It's already very well written, so there's very little to do to make it better. The proper usage of bold, italics, and underlined script makes it an easy an entertaining read. | |
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| Well everyone else is doing it.
Posted: 3/25/2006 6:15:00 PM | Thanks Garf!
You don't miss a beat, do you???
I think you've covered everything!!!
Great! And best of luck on your reviewing venture! | |
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Garf
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Joined: 4/4/2005
Msg: 25 | |
| Well everyone else is doing it.
Posted: 3/25/2006 6:40:37 PM | Kiki...I try to be thorough...thanks.
thisubergeek :
Change your size to BBW. It's what you are, be proud of it.
Also, you can go back to "Edit Profile" and click on "Edit More Registration Details like passwords HERE," to change your username...I would suggest something like ÜberTeddyBear or something, but every guy on this site who has incorporated "geek" into their name, has walked away disgruntled, lol.
Smoking: By putting Prefer not to Say, you're blocking women who are looking for non-smokers. Be specific. Prefer not to Say usually means "yes".
The third pic makes you look a little young, you may want to switch it for a full body shot of you doing something neat, that doesn't involve lightsabers or bodywax.
Good thing, explaining your separation status...but don't offer an excuse why it's not final. Just be neat about it. Mentioning that you were hurt...screams baggage. Drop it. You say in one sentence that you're ready to move on, and then contradict yourself by bringing up the pain...and then go back to claiming no baggage...
I would leave out the second paragraph altogether. We all have different reasons why we're here, you don't need to explain yourself...we all understand.
The third paragraph starts out cheery, and then plummets to a pouty "I need a hug." I LOVE IT! 
The next paragraph about the circle of friends and 3rd wheel references makes you appear self loathing. Pick yourself up, you're starting to sound sad or something. Cheer up. Go wrestle a cheerleader or something! But delete this paragraph first, you'll thank me for it later.
Right after "I tend to clean on Sundays."...delete the next 3 paragraphs. It's fluff that you wrote because you had nothing better to say, and it shows. Sorry to be blunt, but it's true. It also shows a side of you that doesn't make a good first impression. Email me, and I'll explain exactly why.
The sentence that starts out, "I consider myself down to earth," yeah...not so good. Kinda sends out the wrong message. You might want to reword that.
But after that paragraph, you really let loose and relax your writing style. Things get much more fluent and easier to digest. Don't even touch those. If you started over, immediately after writing those; You wouldn't be asking my opinion.
Nice first date ideas, they get you out of the bar scene.
You have the longest profile on the planet...lol.
I think deleting everything I made suggestions to delete...will make it the second longest profile instead.
Revise, and I'll review. | |
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