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Posted: 3/25/2006 4:14:52 PM | Just an observation:
I'm 37, male, single. I've never been married. I have a good job, and I'm financially secure. I'm educated and interesting, and a generous lover. And, while not vain, I'm not unattractive. Nonetheless, meeting women, for me, is like yanking teeth. I've heard (or read, really) over and over again that women are looking for the "nice guy"; guys who are trustworthy and honest. Still, it's been my experience that women, despite what they say (and yes, I'm generalizing) find this boring. Women want a man who is self-absorbed and shallow, simply because he is "hot". It's been my experience that women want precisely that which they profess NOT to want--the sexy bad boy.
Your thoughts? | |
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Posted: 3/25/2006 6:23:32 PM | | Well I am 24 and have come to your same conclusion the few out there that actually do want the mature, nice guy are so few and far between that it is very detering. If love is there for us I think we just have to work a little harder and hope personality over comes all odds. Oh and on a further note "nice guys" have to stop being so freeking boring. | |
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Posted: 3/27/2006 10:31:43 PM | | Women judge men on two things: looks and money. I have become so jaded over the years with dating. | |
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Posted: 3/27/2006 10:50:43 PM | Nasa
You have generalized I agree ...
Women do say they want the "nice man" when I also agree they are desiring something totally different... I am not so sure about the self absorbed and shallow part tho... :)
In my opinion they do want some of a "bad boy" type but not necessarily all the time,
while bad boys are fun for awhile.. they are just players,
I know for my own personal opinion.... I would like someone that would like to enjoy life, someone thats tired of the drama and game playing that is out there, I would like someone to be honest and upfront, be themselves and foremost of all in my opinion to
love me for me and know that I would give love back 100%...
But I am sure I am still in my dream world... for this to ever happen for me ...
Not to say I do not have fun times going out or enjoying a mans company but I do wish I could find more
Creamy | |
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Posted: 4/2/2006 10:20:55 PM | | I can't speak for every woman out there, I can only speak for myself. To hell with the bad boys...although I will say they do have one trait that goes a long way with me. Confidence. Why is a confident, secure, not so sensitive, independent male so hard to come by? | |
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Posted: 4/5/2006 5:48:00 PM | Hold up. There are alot of people out there with alot of diffinitions. That is where you wrong.
Some like bad boys, some like good boys. If you have problems with your teeth go to the dentist. If you have dating issues ask a buddy that doesn't. Sounds rude I know, however; life is raw. If you need a date ask a friend to set you up. Keep it simple. | |
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Posted: 4/6/2006 8:42:59 PM | | frankly the confident, secure, and independant and not so sensitive people don't care and don't go out of their way to make themselves seem available because they don't really care or aren't available. If you care about being single then technically you are not secure. Besides being single kicks ass, all your money is yours, no problems going to the strip bar, and the only one to please is yourself. | |
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Posted: 4/7/2006 3:04:29 AM | There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance, and most women (personal observation only) fail to detect the difference. That's why they pursue the bad boys and end up heartbroken. Hey, life is good for the bad boy, though. He doesn't care whom he hurts -- he'll just pick another girl off the girl tree.
Sensitivity is a drawback in the dating scene. You can't feel or you'll be hurt. The players have learned that lesson well.
~Aurora | |
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Posted: 4/7/2006 3:42:39 PM | Women like arrogant**** f*****s that is the bottom line.....and they have to be like 6 feet tall and have a wallet bigger than the sun....
They fall for them like flies, then fill up the broken hearted threads with their drama about how bad men are....
Grow up....Pleeeze....
Yes, I am bitter about this because it is the truth... | |
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Posted: 4/7/2006 3:49:09 PM | | I am confident, secure, and independent....I've been with the opposite, it's not for me. I've been with the same, only to find an air of arrogance (the bad boy characteristic) in the mix. It's frustrating and disappointing more than anything else. Finding someone to be attached to doesn't consume my life BECAUSE I'm all of those things, but I'll also be the first to admit it would be awesome to find someone secure enough to deal with all that in order to share my life with. | |
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Posted: 4/8/2006 7:41:06 AM | looks can get you in a room ,but they wont keep you there.your personality is the key to winning over someone ,and confidents comes from within.Ive seen a lot of good looking guys and ladys with no confidents and there alone most of the time .You have to be comfortable in your own skin before you can be confident,just my opinion..thanks.. | |
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Posted: 4/8/2006 1:05:01 PM | I wholeheartedly agree with you, arlie  | |
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Posted: 4/8/2006 11:03:58 PM | you know, i really do just want a funny, happy go lucky guy. i dont need money, but would like for him to atleast have a job.
but half the ads on here seems like the guy needs to impress, with owning his own house and his fancy truck/car/bike and that he is financailly secure.
the thing i want most is a positive, funny honest person. | |
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Posted: 4/10/2006 9:42:29 AM |
You have to be comfortable in your own skin before you can be confident,just my opinion..thanks
anyone can fake confidence to get laid, believe me, I know guys with zero confidence, but they are good looking and they know what to say and what face to show needy women who go after height and looks....
Confidence is such a confusing word these days.... | |
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Posted: 4/13/2006 4:18:53 PM | | well they aren't faking their confidence then, more than likely they are using their height and their good looks which for some they just have it, that's predetermined(genetics). "Confidence can't be faked, you have it or you don't." just like personality or brains. | |
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Posted: 4/14/2006 7:03:40 AM | Some of the responses to this make me cringe and think "what a bunch of whiney people.." You guys need to realise that #1 - (like Arlie said) You have to be comfortable with yourself. Being truly comfortable with yourself removes insecurities and allows you to act as you want to without hessitation or discomfort. To achieve that you need to not care about what other people's opinions are of you - maybe it would help to remind yourself of the name of this dating site..."Plenty of fish" ...
Also, I know some of you are going to disagree because of "experience" but I believe your past experiences (negative ones) are only a hinderance when trying anything new. If you have a "remember the compliments and forget the insults" attitude you will probably be better off at what you do. I believe showing confidence or acting arrogant isn't always the best way to go - but you absolutely have to display a lack of insecurity!
I don't claim to be an expert on this, and I don't always show these qualities - but they seem to help and are in line with many females opinions that I have read. | |
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Posted: 5/19/2006 4:47:40 PM | | Aurora...You are 100% correct on the bad boy attraction,,,been there did that, and yes got hurt. Still learning I guess..kinda was in my gut, but was refusing to see it.One good thing came from it though, when he cld after a few weeks, wanting to get back, told him no, I had hooked up with another bad boy who was demanding all of my attention,..(which of course I did not do),,but it felt a little bit good for the moment in time.That one left some damage for sure,, Great replies from everyone. Bless... | |
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Posted: 5/19/2006 9:14:17 PM | | The worse that can happen by being confident in yourself and giving all of yourself as a person, is that you get your heart broke.... broken hearts heal | |
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Posted: 5/23/2006 9:08:23 AM | | I just stopped trying to figure out what women want. What they want never seems to go in line with logic. So, to all you guys, stop trying to figure them out... | |
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Posted: 5/23/2006 1:33:28 PM | You know there are plenty of nice, single women that are wanting to meet nice guys. They may not be aggressiveness enough to make the first move. They might have their nose in a book or they are sitting at home.
Of course nice women might be a bit boring, perhaps not a knock-out, but not unattractive either. If like managed to find like, it may just work out after all. 
Tina | |
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Posted: 5/29/2006 7:46:17 AM | | This is a category about looks and it has become badboy/goodboy thread .LMAO What gives ??? | |
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Posted: 5/29/2006 8:03:22 AM | In all honesty the mind is what attracts me and unless he's butt ugly I don't care...
Not to say I don't appreciate a good looking man... | |
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Posted: 5/29/2006 2:01:45 PM | In all honesty the mind is what attracts me and unless he's butt ugly I don't care...
Not to say I don't appreciate a good looking man...
I had an uncle that taught at MIT. Takes a brain for that. Now, the strange part is that he was gay. Have known alot of "smart" people, but, when asked to add 2 + 2, they grab their calculators just to make sure they are correct without making an error.
I look beyond and look to see what's inside. Is this just BS? No, look at all my posts and you'll realize that I'm looking for a decent person inside and care less about how educated they are or how much money they have or what dang size they wear. I found a beautiful person this week both inside and out. She knows who she is and she knows that I'm not BS'ing at all.
Stop looking for the perfect and look for the person with the heart and you just might be shocked at how that ends up. | |
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Posted: 5/29/2006 7:59:36 PM | Cajun
WELL PUT MAN !!!!!
I would give u the thumbs up thingy if I knew how to use em ...lol
I am so glad you guys had a marvelous time | |
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Posted: 11/13/2006 11:16:19 AM | I think it's human nature that we all have an idea of what we like to see and look at. I'm 5' 7" and voluptuous - not a heifer but will never be a skinny li'l thing either! I've talked to LOTS of guys who state very clearly in their profiles that "looks don't matter" but that's just not true. It's impossible to be true because we ARE human. Looks matter to me, to a certain degree. Truthfully, some people become better looking to me when I get to know what a super person they are. And some rather handsome guys have become complete trolls in my view because I found out what @$$holes they really are. A lot of men have missed out on knowing what a nice woman I am simply because I am not tiny, petite, or whatever they "must" have on the physical agenda. Anyway, just my nickel.
Peace,
Kate | |
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