| | i feel like dyingPage 1 of 5 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) | | so after months of sneaking around, i ended up speaking to a girl that told me my bf cheated on me. He STILL denies everything, EVERYTHING. i was begging him to just admit to me what he didnt but he wouldnt. not only that but he broke up with me because i went through his things and he cant be with someone who does that. we were supposed to go on vacation for 3 days and my b-day is in a week, i'm completely and utterly devastated. what's making this so much harder is that he simply denies the whole thing. im going to go meet him after work to give him some of his things back. anyone have any advice on what i should say and what i should do to move on?? i truly feel like my life is over... | |
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| i feel like dying
Posted: 3/26/2006 12:24:44 PM | | Move on, he's a jerk. Cut your losses. | |
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| i feel like dying
Posted: 3/26/2006 12:34:15 PM | | how can he just so blatantly deny something when the proof is right in his face??? | |
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| i feel like dying
Posted: 3/26/2006 12:35:49 PM | i will just remind you of what you said a few days ago on your last thread:
I just want the truth Posted: 3/20/2006 10  11 PM i never confronted him about the phone records cause i know he would be pissed if he knew i went thru his personal things. im kinda saving that for when im sure i dont want to be with him because i know bringing it up will end things for good. now, with regards to the web page, yes it is documentation. but its documentation of him asking girls about the weather, sports and talking about his cat. documentation? yes proof of cheating?...just not sure...
so, i assume you brought up the phone records because deep down you knew it was over. you believe he cheated, so now you can't trust him...therefore, the relationship is over, regardless of who says it. you are young, and this will be good experience for you down the road.
for the meet, keep it short. bring all his stuff, hand it to him,wish him luck, and get the heck out of there. DO NOT cry, ask him to give it another chance, or beg in any fashion. keep saying to yourself "he's a cheater, i don't want him." | |
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| i feel like dying
Posted: 3/26/2006 12:35:50 PM | | go out and celebrate. You're better off without him anyways! Oh yeah and make him come get his stuff himself you shouldn't have to go see him to give him anything.. if he wants it he can come and get it | |
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| i feel like dying
Posted: 3/26/2006 12:38:20 PM | | the reason im seeing him later today is because i want him to finally admit it. i need this to begin my healing process. even if he does admit it which i pray to god he does, i dont know how i will be able to live. my life is ruined | |
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| i feel like dying
Posted: 3/26/2006 12:40:03 PM | redhead,
i havent been able to stop crying since 11:30am today. i dont think ill be able to stop for a while. | |
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| i feel like dying
Posted: 3/26/2006 12:48:05 PM | hello! read about your sorrow and was compelled to tell you. i can't put my 48 year old head on your shoulders. i say that because i have had many painful experiences in my life and i was never a really good Catholic, but lately i found that if you find a place in your home that is very, very quiet. close your eyes and listen. yes! listen. God or whatever you believe God is will speak to you. no, i am not crazy!! just take the time to close your eyes and listen. sounds to me God might even tell you to dump this lying, insincere SOB! you can have some one else that really respects you. Sounds of hope and happiness are all around you, just listen! OK? i do not expect a reply, i just wanted to help you search inside yourself, the answer IS there. Nobody is worth dying for! HEY, THERES PLENTY OF FISH IN THE SEA! SMILE! IT MAKES PEOPLE WONDER! | |
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| i feel like dying
Posted: 3/26/2006 12:48:56 PM | In my experience, people that claim the whole my privacy my privacy are the ones who have much to hide. My guess it wasn't just one girl...there were and are more and he does not want you knowing.
It's easy for others to say move on, but when you hurt and you still love the one that hurt you that task feels and seems impossible.
What you are looking for is for him to confess to hurt you more so that you hate him...turst me this will not happen, what will happen is you will wonder where you went wrong and how you can "fix" this. You will blame yourself.
You love him and that just plain sucks...the only thing that can help you heal is time and perhaps a very large bottle of vodka lol. | |
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| i feel like dying
Posted: 3/26/2006 12:54:28 PM | | hello! read about your sorrow and was compelled to tell you. i can't put my 48 year old head on your shoulders. i say that because i have had many painful experiences in my life and i was never a really good Catholic, but lately i found that if you find a place in your home that is very very quiet. close your eyes and listen. yes! listen. God or whatever you believe God is will speak to you. no, i am not crazy!! just take the time to close your eyes and listen. sounds to me God might even tell you to dump this lying, insincere SOB! you can have some one else that really respects you. Sounds of hope and happiness are all around you, just listen! OK? i do not expect a reply, i just wanted to help you search inside yourself, the answer IS there. Nobody is worth dying for! HEY, THERES PLENTY OF FISH IN THE SEA! SMILE! IT MAKES PEOPLE WONDER! | |
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| i feel like dying
Posted: 3/26/2006 1:00:01 PM | | The old saying time heals all wounds,simple but not easy. | |
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| i feel like dying
Posted: 3/26/2006 1:05:04 PM | | be with people stay busy pray, and stop all correspondence with him....you will get better. the next one who breaks your heart wont be so bad. | |
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| i feel like dying
Posted: 3/26/2006 1:05:38 PM | i just always thought i would know if something like this was happening. y does he still bother denying?? i cant understand and i hid admission more then i need food or water. i dont know what i will do without it. plus the timing of this is so awful. this will be the worst b-day ever  | |
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| i feel like dying
Posted: 3/26/2006 1:07:40 PM | Suck it up princess...... If you let it affect you, thats the way you will be.... MISERABLE.
If he wont deny it, let it be..... MOVE on | |
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| i feel like dying
Posted: 3/26/2006 1:10:27 PM | | i'm already miserable. more miserable then i ever expected to be. nothing will make this better. i dont know what to do with myself. | |
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| i feel like dying
Posted: 3/26/2006 1:11:06 PM | Your listening to your heart and not your head right now so none of this is going to really help but save it, read it in a few days and go from there.
First, your life is not over :-) In the words of bon jovi, every new beginning means some beginnings end... so this is the start of a new chapter, thats all.
As for asking him to admit to something...forget it. At this point does it matter? We all say we want closure but what we want is to know we were right. What does matter is that it wasn't a strong enough relationship to weather this storm and its time to find something that makes you feel good. Its not supposed to be "easy" so much as its supposed to make both of you happy. If you felt compelled to snoop than you weren't happy and if he was cheating than neither was he. Go find a relationship that is drama free..that is just good for you both. Let this go. Good luck | |
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| i feel like dying
Posted: 3/26/2006 1:12:58 PM | | Once a cheater, always a cheater. You're better off without him. I sympathise with your pain and know just how you feel. In time you'll feel better and be glad he's gone. | |
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| i feel like dying
Posted: 3/26/2006 1:20:12 PM | | Its normal to have sorrow and pain. Next stage is anger and denial. Final stage is the healing process. You chose to drag out the process or you can actually take the steps to heel faster. I would suggest you stop trying to get him to admit, cus it's never going to happen. | |
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| i feel like dying
Posted: 3/26/2006 1:32:48 PM | I hear you saying, in your own way, that you need him to tell you that you ARE RIGHT. That he was wrong. We, people, fight tooth and nail to be right...even when there is nothing to gain by it. YOU know you are right. Could it be you are, way down deep, hoping that he will say and prove it was a mistake...not what it seems?
It is perfectly fine to be angry, hurt, lost, but you cannot worship at the alter of emotion! You could take a few deep breathes...see what this detour in your life really means to you. What are you having to give up?...What dreams and plans, outside this vacation, did this relationship offer you? It is very human to panic and fear the 'what do I do with me/my life/myself now' phase in the face of change.
Give yourself a little time...look at what you have been through. Ask yourself, what made you stay after you first knew there was trouble? What is it about you (not a critisism or attack on your character)...what is it about you that made you hang on?
Most of our failures, pain and loss (outside of the natural forces) are our own doing. With a little soul searching hun you will see how - why - what got you in to this relationship in the first place.
Every dark cloud has a valuable lesson hidden in it. It seems though that few are willing to get down and dirty with themselves to find out what that lesson is.
Let go of being right, being treated unfairly. Dig deep! It will all make sense if you let it. | |
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dell42
| | Joined: 11/23/2005
Msg: 21 | |
| i feel like dying
Posted: 3/26/2006 1:38:47 PM | | winge about it all you like, it's like this girl, each time you beg at that is what your doing asking for the truth, you put yourself down just a little bit more, soon you will feel like crap, you already know he cheated so dont torture yourself cause you will end up having no respect for yourself, your own pride in you is what has value and it stands tall above even love or lost love and that is what you need to hold onto right now and i promise you will come out of this ok | |
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| i feel like dying
Posted: 3/26/2006 1:44:44 PM | Been in that place and space before.... As much as you 'feel like dying' and as bleak as things seems right now, it will pass! Trust the people here that tell you that. Yes, you will grieve and mourn for a while but there will come a day where you won't. And then the doors to thousands of possibilities are there to be opened by you.
Hang in there and believe.... | |
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| i feel like dying
Posted: 3/26/2006 1:50:59 PM | | he was my first bf. i spend the best 3 years of my life with him. he's good looking, he's a pharmacist, he has a condo in south beach, we come from the same background, he makes me laugh, and he put up with me. everywhere i look i see him. we got a cat together. i miss that cat as much as i miss him if not more. i raised her from a kitten and the thought of not seeing her in and of itself is tearing me apart. how can i just let that go. i dont think i can. it hurts so bad...we have so many memories...in the 3 years, we never went more then one day without talking and that happened once. and now never talk to him again?? how i see and feel him everywhere... | |
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| i feel like dying
Posted: 3/26/2006 1:52:18 PM | My ex husband and I have been divorced for 9 yrs now and he STILL won't admit to having an affair. We split due to him cheating...but he never would admit it.....yet he moved in with that woman immediately after leaving our home.... I have phone bills from him calling her using our calling card while he was on the road..but he always had an excuse. Sometimes even when they're caught, they won't admit it. There will always be some reason for their behaviour....don't sweat it. Just let him go...get on with your life.  | |
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