| How do you tell a man.....
Posted: 3/26/2006 6:33:36 PM | This is a little long, I posted this in my diary:
Okay, met yet another man from the internet. We chatted briefly. He met me at the bowling alley last Monday. And yes, I was and continue to bowl like CRAP! He's nice looking. He's 43, divorced x 13(or 12) years, 2 boys, carpenter by trade. After bowling, we went to ______ for a drink (okay, a couple). I was feeling pretty good. He kissed me there. His kiss was nice.
He called me on Tuesday, asked me to come over and he would fix dinner. I wasn't sure, I was SO tired from being out so late the night before. I took a shower, and did, in fact, go over to his place.
You want details? Okay. Here goes. First, his kissing...OMG, he's ALL tongue. Not at all like the night before. He's all TONGUE! His tongue was EVERYWHERE! Flipping his tongue as if it were having spasms! While kissing, I still had gum. Well, I thought I was going to choke on it! He was kissing me, his tongue flailing about...DOWN my throat. I honestly thought I was going to choke on my gum! Then he moves to my neck. Again, tongue spasms! Oh, then up to my ear! HIS TONGUE WAS IN MY EAR!!! I'm SOOOO glad I had a shower before I went to his place. If not, he sure would have cleaned the earwax away! Did I stop him, NO! Why? I don't know. Horny I guess. So, we moved to his bedroom. The actual sex act wasn't bad at all. As a matter of fact, he's thick and pretty lengthy. It felt pretty good. His stamina is out of this world...and we even went back for seconds. Of course it was good, he was busy in the "act"...so no tongue business. I thought to myself, I "might" be able to put up with the tongue...or maybe I can somehow suggest to him that he doesn't need to use his tongue quite that much, but how?
Oh, I'm not done...nor was he. He was at the point of orgasm, which is alaways good thing...the big "O" that is. I was "pleasured" at least 2 times myself the first round and once the second time. Now it's his turn. He tells me he's about to "release". He withdrawals and "releases". OMG, what did he do?!?! He starts convulsing and making such a weird sound!!!...AND, he doesn't stop! He shook, threw his head from side to side, and made a "sound". Best I can describe it is like a horse doing the whinny thing...but not quite like a horse, just hard to describe. He did this SEVERAL times after "releasing"...BOTH encounters. He said that his "head" was very sensitive and it makes him quiver. What do I do?
Ladies, tell me...could you handle this? HOW?
Men, how would you want someone to tell you...1) too much tongue isn't enjoyable and 2) the "after sex"... I'm speechless. | |
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| How do you tell a man.....
Posted: 3/26/2006 6:43:25 PM | | LMFAO OP..I'm sorry...but I would probably crack right up!!! hahaha I would have to outright tell him he's o/d'ing on the tongue bit. But the whole horse gone bad bit?? I'd just be in hysterics! | |
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| How do you tell a man.....
Posted: 3/26/2006 7:10:01 PM | Spun, it was quite the experience! The tongue, well, I handled that. BUT after sex, it took ALL I had to refrain myself.
Don't get me wrong, he's a nice guy...AND, the sex was really good.
I'm without words here. Not sure what I'm going to do. | |
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| How do you tell a man.....
Posted: 3/26/2006 7:10:03 PM | EEEEWWWW! ew! ew!...ew!!!
Slow danced with a guy one night..I'd known him a long time...I'd always found him attractive.It was getting pretty sexy. THEN HE SLURPED MY EAR!!!!! Slimy!..wet!..slurping sounds!Drool running down my neck! Omfg!! My blood ran COLD! I was traumatized.I left him on the dance floor He came and sat beside me and had the nerve to tell me,"I have NEVER seen someone go from being so f#cking hot to so f#cking cold." I couldn't even talk to him. | |
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| How do you tell a man.....
Posted: 3/26/2006 7:12:03 PM |
Girlfriend......I'd patent that tongue and learn to live with the horse call. I'm not saying I could do it with a straight face but..... ....man, I just can't stop laughing. | |
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| How do you tell a man.....
Posted: 3/26/2006 7:13:05 PM | Lol I think I just woke up my neighbors laughing.
Ok that is just gross and I wouldn't of been able to handle that. I would of definately burst out laughing and I would of had to leave.
I am speechless with you but if I was you I would hightail it out of there and don't look back.
If hes 43 chances are hes been like that for a while and is not going to change it anytime soon | |
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| How do you tell a man.....
Posted: 3/26/2006 7:17:11 PM | Well at least you have some positive points on which to complement him. This way, you can tell him what you enjoyed and how you enjoyed it while suggesting that it would be even better for you if he would go easy with the whole tongue thing, as it's a bit too full-on for your taste (so to speak). That way he can see it as a glass-half-full situation.  | |
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| How do you tell a man.....
Posted: 3/26/2006 7:23:30 PM | You know, I was "horny" enough to go back for seconds yesterday. We went to the movies...he kept asking me if he could kiss me in the theater. Normally that would be okay, but now I'm scared of his kisses! LoL I do have to say, I have an extremely HIGH sex drive and his is right up there with mine! Needless to say, I wound up back at his place last night. The kissing wasn't "quite" as bad...I didn't choke!!! And I guess he thought I had my weekly dose of ear cleaning and he kept his tongue out of my ear.
Sex again was GREAT! I'm speechless when it comes to sex with him. Again, his stamina is out of this world!
But afterward...well, just call me Dale Evans...he's my pony! | |
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| How do you tell a man.....
Posted: 3/26/2006 7:26:47 PM | | Thank you, Monkey. Yes, there are positives...Definitely! Like I said, the sex is GREAT! I guess one NEVER wants to make someone think their qualities are less than acceptable. And I HONESTLY do not intend on making fun of him in the slightest! I'm in a pickle here and not quite sure how to handle it. I've never had to tell someone that I couldn't handle something they were doing. | |
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99c
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Joined: 3/24/2006
Msg: 11 | |
| How do you tell a man.....
Posted: 3/26/2006 7:31:27 PM | | It seems unkind to disclose personal matters this way, laughing publicly at a lover. Far worse than bad tongue action or odd post coital noises, I think. But what am I saying?! This is POF. Carry on.... | |
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| How do you tell a man.....
Posted: 3/26/2006 7:35:00 PM | 99, not to worry. He is not on this dating site. Nor does he know me by this profile name. There is NO way whatsoever that he would be able to correlate.
And honestly, I'm NOT trying to make fun of him. I posted what I put in my journal. And I'm trying to figure out how to handle the situation. | |
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| How do you tell a man.....
Posted: 3/26/2006 7:38:01 PM | | OMG I think I know this guy! LMAOOOOOOO or maybe his twin? LOL TONGUE everywhere! and a STRONG TONGUE LMAOOOOO | |
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| How do you tell a man.....
Posted: 3/26/2006 8:10:20 PM | Rrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrr!!!! (obviously in horsey language)
That is hilarious.
don't most guys shake when orgasming? Or do they just blow their load and not tremble at all?
I shake. But I don't make horse sounds. Sometimes cat sounds. Meow! | |
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| How do you tell a man.....
Posted: 3/26/2006 8:18:17 PM | Next time you have to bring chaps so you can ride the horse? lol. What the hell? That's great! If I can't stand a girl on the date but I get her drunk enough to fuk me...at the end of my orgasm I start making horse noises and bang my head like I'm in a 80's buttband. ROFL. But such a great way to make sure you don't see her again...w00t!
Thanks..
I'm sooo using that one. | |
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| How do you tell a man.....
Posted: 3/26/2006 8:23:04 PM | | OMG...IM CRYING HERE FROM LAUGHING SO HARD!!!...How did you keep a straight face gurl? I Visualized a bad porno with over emphized ohhhhhhhhhhhhing and ahhhhhhhhhing...lol...I would of had to say something but in humour...like.." The next time we saddle up cowboy ,..i think i might have to muzzle you as your gonna hurt yourself with that tongue /spasims stuff you do,,,ya think we can pass on the dramatics and just have normal raunchysex but if it makes ya feel better i will allow howling afterwards!!!...lol.." | |
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| How do you tell a man.....
Posted: 3/26/2006 8:32:54 PM | Can't recall another thread that made me laugh sooooo hard
Just brought back memories...and for you OP after you read all the responses here i just don't know how you'll manage a straight face if there is a next time...
If you have to ask about it...then i'm thinking you're not too terribly comfortable with it...and my suggestion would be to chalk it up to experience and move on....there's lots of guys out there that give "good sex" and is "really nice"...and you don't need a towel or a bag of oats afterwards!!! | |
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| How do you tell a man.....
Posted: 3/26/2006 9:28:08 PM | Let me see if I have this straight:
You met a guy at a bowling alley, you bowl like crap, he cooked you dinner and you had three big Os for dessert, and now you want our advice?
Remember, you asked for it:
1) Keep him.
2) Tell him what you like and what you don't like; mental telepathy never works.
3) Keep your eyes focused on the #1 pin. Exhale before you begin your approach and don't inhale until you've released the ball. Use the alignment spots on the alley. (with your preipheral vision only) Turn your wrist a quarter-turn toward the outside to release the ball without any spin and use the same ball every time. | |
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| How do you tell a man.....
Posted: 3/26/2006 10:35:19 PM | ROFLMAO @ douglasinmotown!
This is too funny! I gotta say, though, I'd rather have a guy that made a big production out of orgasming than one guy I slept with...I seriously couldn't tell if he'd finished or not! No movement (well, it was like having sex with a blow up doll anyway, 'cause he barely moved), no noise, nothing! He just stiffened up (well, more than before!) and that was it.
Maybe this guy figures the big scene is a compliment to your talents, like how in some countries it's considered polite to burp loudly after a good meal. And from the tongue action described, he obviously made a meal out of it!
But hey, seriously, if he's good company, and the sex itself is good, it's easy to either overlook the sloppy kisses, or subtly retrain him. As for the big finish, I dunno, you're on your own there, chick. | |
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| How do you tell a man.....
Posted: 3/26/2006 10:39:44 PM | Damn,
Good read and good laugh . Hmmm, from a guys point of view, I've never done all that before but hell, I guess it can be like that if you ain't had none in a while. Dunno. | |
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| How do you tell a man.....
Posted: 3/26/2006 11:18:07 PM | OMG>>>>>>IMAO I am laughing so hard....I call guys who are all tongue drillers....LOL
Its as bad as a guy whos 2 arms turn into 8...LOL
I dated a guy who would spasm after he cum....It did freak me out...but he never whined...LOL | |
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| How do you tell a man.....
Posted: 3/26/2006 11:42:04 PM | 1. Buy a saddle and reigns. One that keeps his tongue at bay.
2. TAKE THE REIGNS. RIDE YOUR HORSEY INTO THE SUNSET.
3. Live "Happily Ever After"? Eh, getting there is half the fun. Might look into one of those spankers too, and a horse-riding outfit (what are those called again?). | |
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| How do you tell a man.....
Posted: 3/27/2006 12:09:40 AM | | Baconman is onto something here...maybe after you saddle up, you could put a bit in his mouth to cut down the tongue action? And I'm sure some leather chaps would go a long way to keeping that stallion from bolting. | |
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| How do you tell a man.....
Posted: 3/27/2006 3:27:11 AM | Okay, the consensus here is to keep him, bridle the tongue (but how?), buy a saddle and reins and "ride" off into the sunset! As far as the convulsions, yes, I think I will try to look at this in a different light...the ultimate compliment, right?!?!?!?
Okay, now I'm depressed. The other people I've been with, well, I guess I wasn't good enough to make their head (hehe) spin and turn their bodies into complete and utter spasmatic machines...I just wasn't all that good. *sigh* | |
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