| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 3/26/2006 9:19:02 PM | | Good Morning America (GMA) had a brief spot about internet dating. My interpretation was that internet dating has become pretty awful. Not because things are so different from "back in the day", i.e., going out, meeting people, getting to know each other and allowing time for a relationship to develop. Instead, the person being interviewed felt that people surf the singles sites, find someone, go out and have a really great date and then they go home and surf the web to see if they can find someone better. I've heard friends say they feel like its addictive. Some friends of mine are in serious relationships and still surf and actually consider contacting any new face they see. I think the GMA spot was a pretty good snapshot of this whole internet dating thing. What do you think? | |
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| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 3/26/2006 10:34:36 PM | ^
[-the person being interviewed felt that people surf the singles sites, find someone, go out and have a really great date and then they go home and surf the web to see if they can find someone better-]
..........what do they mean by having a 'great date'?......what kind of relationship are they looking for?.......this pretty vague but for someone who just wants to date, then what is wrong with it?............its natural to see if there is someone else out there who might be even better but again i don't understand why someone who had a "great date" would wanna go home and start looking for someone else right away (unless he is a player!).
i think the bigger problem is that there are lots of insincere pple out there, men and women, who say one thing and then do something else.......women have no right to complain, cause they are just as guilty, IMO! | |
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| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 3/26/2006 11:28:30 PM | Internet has changed the dating scene somewhat, in that people that previously couldn't - or wouldn't - go out and meet others now have a chance to do so. A single parent, for example, with a very restricted schedule, would have a hard time finding a mate. Internet has changed that.
Something else that has changed is the people that are married, or have a SO, going on internet to find a little 'extra'; the fiends, freaks and perverts have found an outlet for their needs. People have become more open, and in doing so, they've become more blasé about relationships.
Trying to find a true mate in amongst all this has become a difficult task. We have gone from having limited contact and opportunity to sensory overkill, making the search for the needle in the haystack relatively simple by comparison.
GMA, and many of the other news media, will often use this as a fallback when they have nothing else to report. If you had had a really great date with someone, would you immediately go out and try to find someone better? Probably not; if you did, then maybe that date wasn't as great as you thought it was?
I'm probably not the best qualified here to be commenting on this, since I haven't been seriously dating for some time, but my viewpoint is that there are literally millions of people signed up on dating sites all over the internet. Why would the producers of GMA publish since a narrow minded, single sided view when there are so many differing and conflicting viewpoints?
Although I didn't see or hear the interview, given the OP's interpretation, I would suggest that GMA should perhaps do a little more journalistic investigation and present some true facts rather than the biased version given here.
Having said all that, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Sunday are taken, Saturday is my night out, so any takers for a great and memorable date on Wednesday? ^^ | |
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| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 3/27/2006 10:35:30 AM | The two biggest benefits I have found from internet dating is that it exposes you to people you may not have had to opportunity to meet in real life and you get to know a bit about them from their profile.
After I meet someone, I don't race home to see if I can find someone better but rather decide if I want to see that person again based on whether or not there was any chemistry and if I felt we had things in common. | |
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| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 3/28/2006 7:21:12 AM | I'm still not convinced about the Internet as a place to meet a mate, and find real life more realistic.  That's just been my experience, and that of my closest friends.
It's a great place to meet people, and I hope to be proven wrong someday. Until then, I just come here for the forums, and to talk with friends. | |
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| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 3/28/2006 12:56:59 PM | You're spot on with that Montreal_Guy, to a point.
Dating is the process of getting to know someone a lot better than you already do, exploring their likes and dislikes, understanding their personality. You can't do any of that online, but as gallivanting1 pointed out, it is a great place to meet someone with whom to begin this process, and then take it to real life.
I can't understand how anyone could 'date' online and expect it to be for real, but there are those that try. I normally restrict myself to people within about a 50 mile radius of where I live - there are lots of them on here. I don't think I would be able to meet these same people by chance in real life, so the very beginning of getting to know them is artificial via the internet, but after that it becomes very real life and personal.
Just my $0.02 | |
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| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 5/16/2006 2:23:50 PM | I think the GMA interview was pretty close to the truth. I've been online quite a long while, and find the dating buffet attitude has become the norm, at least with men. I don't know if women are doing the same thing, as often.
The grass is always greener...... {Erma Bombeck} | |
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| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 5/16/2006 4:27:22 PM | I think the chances of me actually meeting that special someone online is pretty slim - at the most maybe a few friends. Mostly because the nature of online dating, but in part because I have been trying to set it up that way. My first experience with online dating told me that the quicker I can weed out individual's the better. If I read their profiles and what they are looking for it doesn't even closely resemble me, but yet they would still write wanting to meet. I think this happens a lot, people want to meet anyone who will go out with them, yet that person isn't want they were wanting in the first place. Doesn't make sense to me - I wouldn't do it in person. I'm not wanting quantity.
What online dating has done is help me with the transition into dating. It has helped me to discover what I'm really wanting and looking for, and what I don't want. I've gained confidence to talk to people on the street and look individual's in the eye. I've been learning when to start to invest emotional interest, how to deal with rejection, and to face my fears. I've learned a lot about attitudes and what people think now - 30 years is a long time to be out of the dating pool. I've learned to say no and when to give things a chance to know each other better.
Buffet or not, sometimes it can help someone in other ways. | |
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| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 5/16/2006 7:52:07 PM | | I think GMA is "totally" right. Internet dating is so different then meeting someone, finding them attractive and spending time with them. ID is like going to a big pond, realin' one in and then throwing the line back in hoping for a better catch. | |
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| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 5/16/2006 8:00:58 PM | Humm this thread has me thinking. I keep telling myself if I ever do run into my next best friend - I would get off of these sites. Now - with this reminder ....... I am not so sure I could get off of the sites. I *think* I could stop the looking part - but not sure I could give the forums and they gawking part.
I’ve spent hours and hours on these sites (almost every day) for the last three years ........... maybe I AM hooked on them  | |
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| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 5/16/2006 8:08:10 PM | I have noticed that pattern in the last few years too. In my case, if someone doesn't chicken out of meeting, often times the date will seem great. Perhaps upcoming plans will be discussed, a few more email or phone exchanges but that's the end. Funny thing is that they are still looking. It doesn't bother me if there's no interest, but the whole idea of trading up is boggles me. Just seems like a losing search for perfection.
Tina | |
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| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 5/16/2006 8:12:36 PM | | It would take me five minutes, max to get off this site if I met someone that I connected with on all levels. Let's face it... if you are going home after a date and jumping online, unless to read the forums and thank your lucky stars, you just didn't click. | |
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| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 5/17/2006 10:52:49 AM | I agree also, but, yes there is always someone with a but. LOL
If I went out with someone on here and I seemed to connect with, I would still do a couple things.
I would go home after the date and log on to see if they had sent me a email, or if they went home and got online.I would probably send them one saying, I hope you had fun. Leaving it open for them to get back to me if they connected with me.
I would also not give up looking or talking to others till I knew her feelings were the same as mine.
I think it is to easy, and I have done it, to think that because someone is online and not talking to you, they are talking to someone else.
They could be, or they could be online, sitting there waiting to see if you email, or message them.
Thats the hard part of the internet, you just never know. Unless you instigate the conversation to find out.
That was a reply to Damsel's post. I am new at the forums, and did not get the quote in. | |
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| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 7/23/2006 10:16:45 AM | I can't agree with the GMA point of view.
If I had a great date with a fella, I'd go home and pray that he enjoyed my company too, so there would be another 'great date'.
Last thing I'd do is try to find someone better.
After a few 'great dates' I'd ask him if it was OK with him if I deleted my profile. | |
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| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 7/23/2006 10:49:59 AM | I think a lot of people 45+ who are online dating systems have a lot of issues going on in their lives. I don't think that they act very differently in every day life dating.
So many people haven't taken the time to get to know who they are, and what they want.
Until they do these necessary step, they aren't in a position to be in a successful relationship.
Many people don't want to face their own problems and serial date rather than face the task of fixing their personal issues.
Many people know that they are selective (a good thing), so they don't jump into a second date with someone who is on their maybe list.
Went out of a coffee date a while ago. I could tell from the way things were going that there was slim to no chance of us dating further. Didn't hear back from him for a couple of weeks. Didn't think much about it, except that he must have felt the same way as I did. Finally, he messaged and said "Could have asked you for another date. Each time I went to ask, I just didn't do it. I guess that I should have felt more than that". Very true.
Mostly, I think we are just not the "into each other" when we meet. Internet dating can't be responsible for that.
Most of the time I spend on pof, is in the forums, which I enjoy very much. | |
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| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 7/23/2006 10:55:55 AM |
Something else that has changed is the people that are married, or have a SO, going on internet to find a little 'extra'; the fiends, freaks and perverts have found an outlet for their needs.
I have noticed that too. The last time I tried online dating was in 2002, and I found a good man, unfortunately things didn't work out....when I tried this again, what a big difference!! For beginners, I see two exboyfriends online, who I dumped for cheating....yes, I must admit it was a little satisfying to see they were still looking, but then, so am I.....but the scary part to me is if they were on here, online dating wasn't a lonely hearts club anymore, but a really bad singles bar....a meat market, full of insincerity. How to separate the honest from the predators??
I have also had some confusing situations in which phone numbers were exchanged, we had several conversations, we met, we had a few more dates. There was every indication it was all good and plans were made for later and then they fall off the edge of the world....I don't think they just "weren't that into me" or the dates would have stopped at one, so I can only think they traded up.....I guess that's their right.....but I feel like I'm on an audition, not a date.... | |
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| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 10/21/2006 7:44:22 AM | | I think most 45+ people have had at least one LTR before going online, so I have to think there is ALOT of baggage causing people to be "lookers" until they are READY to be "keepers"! | |
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| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 10/21/2006 8:58:08 AM | *gasp! What? GMA ran out of murder, mayham and disaster!!!
Bummer... Good ole technology!! Please do not tell me it took this extreme to realize some guys are born "daters" out looking to notch up the ole bed post rather than look for marraital bliss!!!
It is just to shocking to think maybe women are finding out they do not have to approach each encounter with a man as a prenuptial invitation!!! But may find they too are just out for a moment of no strings fun...
What is this world coming too???
Bah... nothing has changed... move on GMA... We on the internet are "real" people... eventually.. It's all McDonalds fault ya know...We like things fast!! And if meeting peeps online speeds things up a bit, then it is up to us to learn to keep up..And try to be smarter about how we approach things out here..Some may have a place in their lives where meeting peeps can be easy... Jobs... (but, boy that gets awkward if it doesn't work out) Churches..(but, boy that gets awkward if it doesn't work out) Best friend's friend or relative...(but, boy that gets awkward if it doesn't work out) guess ya see where I am going with this..after a while if ya start putting rules and taboos on how and where ya gonna try and hook up...ya might just end up with nowhere else to go. And yes, there is a smorgasboard of peeps out here on the internet compared to what you might find on your local street, or town...just try and spot the pigs asap if ya want a pic nic for 2... | |
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| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 10/17/2008 8:56:40 PM |
.... the person being interviewed felt that people surf the singles sites, find someone, go out and have a really great date and then they go home and surf the web to see if they can find someone better. .... Some friends of mine are in serious relationships and still surf and actually consider contacting any new face they see. I think the GMA spot was a pretty good snapshot of this whole internet dating thing. What do you think?
I wonder what people think also. For myself, not enough experience to form an opinion, except about myself. I'm looking for LTR...and nothing else. Dating as a goal is definitely not for me. | |
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| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 10/18/2008 7:01:29 AM | irishmish: Good Morning America (GMA) had a brief spot about internet dating. ... the person being interviewed felt that people surf the singles sites, find someone, go out and have a really great date and then they go home and surf the web to see if they can find someone better. ... I think the GMA spot was a pretty good snapshot of this whole internet dating thing. What do you think?
I've been reading the forums long enough to know this apparently happens, but it hasn't been my experience. I am wondering whether there are ways to avoid this kind of thing. For example, I usually e-mail, message, and talk (on the phone or yahoo) to men for a couple of months before meeting them. By the time we meet, we're already online friends, and the friendship continues in real life, whether we become romantic partners or not.
My point is that the man and I form a relatively solid connection, at least on an intellectual level, before we meet, and we respect each other enough to treat each other well. Our connection doesn't guarantee romance, but it does begin our bonding.
randy814u: If I went out with someone on here and I seemed to connect with, I would still do a couple things. I would go home after the date and log on to see if they had sent me a email, or if they went home and got online.I would probably send them one saying, I hope you had fun. Leaving it open for them to get back to me if they connected with me.
I do the same. My preference is that my partner e-mail me first. (Let the gentleman be a gentleman!), but I don’t insist on it. With friends, both partners feel comfortable writing first.
randy814u: I would also not give up looking or talking to others till I knew her feelings were the same as mine.
I do the same with men. It's not that I'm looking for someone "better." I'm simply taking care not to assume more of a man than is presented. In other words, I do not assume we are a couple until it's been discussed and agreed upon.
A friend of mine recently told me that we have no choice but to date others until we find the one with whom we want to be exclusive. It's not a bad thing to keep looking. It's bad when we're disrespectful to others. | |
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| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 10/18/2008 8:54:19 AM | *After a few 'great dates' I'd ask him if it was OK with him if I deleted my profile.*
Excuse me? Did you ask his permission to put your profile up? Why would you need to ask him if it was OK to delete it?
SARL | |
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| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 10/18/2008 9:22:12 AM | There's a lot of sociology research about online and online dating. IMHO, yes, it does bring out the transactional in many of us. There are aspects that are conducive to the "trade up" mentality. Exchange theory is alive and well on the net.
That doesn't mean we have to participate, IMO, just that we need to be aware. | |
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| Interview from GMA re Internet Dating - Thoughts?
Posted: 11/2/2008 5:00:25 AM |
That doesn't mean we have to participate, IMO, just that we need to be aware.
Yes, exactly. Nothing seems less ethical and more childish than the attitude 'if others are doing it, I can do it too. ' | |
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