| | When do you classify it as stalking?Page 1 of 2 (1, 2) | ok so, me and my "freind" jokingly call each other our Stalker. With us its joking, but when does it become real? Can you have a Before, during and After stalker? like before when they bug you to date them, during when they don't give you time to breath , or after when they dont' clue in that its over?
and whats the best way to deal with it?
i'm reaching here people!! your all great peeps in sask, i don't wanna see you all leave cause the fun threads aren't around as much. | |
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| WHEN DO YOU CLASSIFY IT AS STALKING?
Posted: 3/27/2006 6:52:20 AM | when they bug you to date them, I think it's just annoying (like I may be to some people)
It becomes stalking once it has been made very clear to them that the other person is not interested, yet they still persist.
Best way to deal with it: if there's no immediate danger, just ignore, a stalker wants you to pay attention to them, any attention given will encourage them. If ignored they will usually go away, eventually.
If they are possibly posing a threat, report them. | |
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| WHEN DO YOU CLASSIFY IT AS STALKING?
Posted: 3/27/2006 8:35:25 AM | I will always ask permission before I commence to stalking...ROFLMAO.....
Seriously though....it is not a fun thing...to have it to the point that you don't even want to anser your phone and to have to delete and bounce 20 emails a day is a bit ridiculous....I think that once you have made it clear that you do not want the attention and it continues then it is to much and is stalking.....and the ignoring thing can take months...trust me on this one....the phone would sometimes ring 10 times a night after many months....so unless ignoring works within a few days on one that is not dangerous then I would be dealing with it a lot faster than I did in the past.... | |
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| WHEN DO YOU CLASSIFY IT AS STALKING?
Posted: 3/27/2006 8:49:09 AM | | what is it though that makes a person a stalker?? you gotta pull my teeth to get me to call you until i'm sure thats what you want. the idea of only just going out with someone and that "expectance" of you being where you "should" be at a certain time is just maddening!! i kinda like being single in that respect i don't have to answer to anyone and don't get the dredded feeling of going home to meet the antrage of the "20 messages" or emails waiting , like we didn't return your call for a reason? isn't that a hint enough? what blinds them to not cluing in? | |
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| WHEN DO YOU CLASSIFY IT AS STALKING?
Posted: 3/27/2006 9:20:47 AM | Intresting subject. I have been stalked a couple times in the past.
I have been hit on by someone that I had no intent of ever being romantic with. And it does turn me off when the woman never lets up on her pursuit to have me. Thats happened a few times.
Then I had 1 GF who was absolutely beautiful and smart and funny and talented, but she really had trust issues, and when we were not together she would break into my house (she cut herself a key without my knowledge or consent.), and search for evidence that I may have been unfaithful to her. She found some of my old photo's one time and was very upset that I still had pictures of some of my female freinds from the past.... etc.
Then I had no choice but to dump her. That was a mistake. "If I cant have you, no one will!" was her reply back. And sure enough I was arrested the next day for aledgidly assaulting her.
The crown knew I was innocent, but protocal has to be followed through and I remained on bail for 4 months, until court. Then the RCMP and the Crown and the judge all said Sorry to me for the wrongful arrest. But she was never charged for that.
A second GF was just as bad, in fact she was worse. She was a 100% stalker. She stalked me for over a year. And even took my teen aged daughters to the bars without my klowledge and drove them back home while they all were pissed. I knew nothing about this because I was away on the road a week at a time. She said she just wanted to remain in my life, and my kids life. I called the cops on her after a few incidents that were really creeping me out, and harrassment too, and the RCMP told me I was sooo lucky to have my own stalker.... and they brushed me off.
Hence, my profile says I am not intrested in possesive or jealous people. | |
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| WHEN DO YOU CLASSIFY IT AS STALKING?
Posted: 3/27/2006 11:49:01 AM | MY STALKER INCIDENT
What I mentioned in my previous post about not paying attention to a stalker, I was stupid enough to have to learn that the hard way.
About 10 years ago, a young lady(?), who I had absolutely no interest in, developed a crush on me.
Despite not being interested, I still tried to be nice to her, not ignore her, etc. Her sister was my roommate at the time so she would be over at our place occasionally. But her visits became more frequent, usually when she knew her sister wasn't home, pretending that she had come to see if her sister was there.
When she did tell me about her feelings, I wasn't suprised, but tried to politely tell her that I was not interested in her. She began to constantly ask why I wasn't interested in her. Rather than openly tell her that I did not find her attractive, and her personality was honestly 1 that I couldn't stand being around, I simply used the excuse that I thought she was too young for me. (she was 19, I was in my mid 20's). I actually even worried that maybe I was being superficial because I didn't find her attractive, but I also knew that her personality would be a turn-off to me even if that personality belonged to the world's most beautiful woman. I did feel a little sorry for her, she didn't have many friends, (her personality didn't exactly make her the world's most popular person) so I continued to try to be nice to her.
Being nice to her was the stupid mistake, (stupid me, a sucker to try to be nice to someone because I felt a little sorry for them). To a stalker, any possitive communication you have with them, or any attempt to be nice, is interpretted as you showing an interest back in them.
I realized that showing her any attention was a mistake. I began trying to ignore her. But she would still try coming over when her sister wasn't home, or phoning constantly, if I did talk to her it would be constant whining about how she didn't understand why I didn't like her.
Finally, after realizing that she was refusing to be ignored, I had to start becoming rude. Not an easy thing for me, I am naturally, kind and friendly towards people. I began to insult and ridicule her, making her cry. "I loved you, how could you be so mean?" It took a few days of me being incredibly rude and mean spirited toward her, but I was successful. I believe she still hates me to this day. I do feel bad about that, I don't think there's anybody else I've ever met with a true, lasting hatred for me, but I just didn't know of any other way to deal with it. | |
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| WHEN DO YOU CLASSIFY IT AS STALKING?
Posted: 3/28/2006 7:26:24 PM | OK so I'm the only one with out a stalker in here ...Hmmm
personally I like the fish nets.........
seriously I think somewhere has it right....Ignore em they may go away and if not just be rude and abnoxious. Some people just can't take a hint | |
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| WHEN DO YOU CLASSIFY IT AS STALKING?
Posted: 3/29/2006 5:09:11 AM | spilly...get with the game...I have been stalking you since we were 7 years old...you just don't seem to catch on real quick  | |
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| WHEN DO YOU CLASSIFY IT AS STALKING?
Posted: 3/29/2006 3:49:08 PM | Dang I once befriend a BOY who was what 8 years younger then me...and the kid stalked me. He would stand outside my kitchen window. I dont know what for...and one day he came to the college I was at and met my instructor...he told my instructor he was my bf...now come on I was not dating anyone at the time...well I moved and changed my number that took care of that....hehehe.
L | |
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| WHEN DO YOU CLASSIFY IT AS STALKING?
Posted: 3/29/2006 10:18:21 PM | Hey delicious p quick:
What blinds them, to not cluing in?
Is probably, that they are so pre-occupied with the subject, or person that they are stalking, that they don't take the hints or signals, because, they just ignore them, hear or see them or something.
That is my two cents worth.
Sincerely
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| WHEN DO YOU CLASSIFY IT AS STALKING?
Posted: 3/30/2006 4:50:25 AM | hi GLBhorns,
yes, the proble i think too is these people don't have lives to occupy themselves with either, instead of pineing and stressing over something you don't/can't have move on to something you can?
then the question is, do or can these types live a normal existence in society? Without just moving on to the next victem? | |
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| WHEN DO YOU CLASSIFY IT AS STALKING?
Posted: 3/30/2006 11:43:37 AM | Hey delicious p quick:
Good pointer, gal.
However, to answer your question, they probably cannot live a normal life, like the rest of us.
Therefore, the only way, my guess is, that for a stalker to be recognized by the public, is to do such thing, by moving on, and finding their next victim to stalk.
And it is so unfortunate, that innocent people, who live normal lives, are te victims of these creeps.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, what can you do, except, try and help the innocent person(s) get through it all, and give them direction, in helping the innocent rebuild their confidence, and courage.
Sincerely
And
Best Wishes
From
Neill | |
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| WHEN DO YOU CLASSIFY IT AS STALKING?
Posted: 4/18/2006 6:00:44 PM | I think "somewhere" pretty much said it all... the line I got was "if you ever leave me I will spend the rest of my life haunting you"
Ive lived similar experiences. The one quality I would add to the list of personality traits to watch out for is "insecure".
I truely feel for anyone male or female who has been stalked. | |
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| WHEN DO YOU CLASSIFY IT AS STALKING?
Posted: 4/18/2006 8:18:05 PM | I think the stalking comes with being so obsessed that they can't have you, and drives them to insanity when they don't know the who, what, when, where and why.
I had one that "stalked" me by phone. Drove me crazy! He would phone my girlfriend up at work and talk about me, I told her it is stalking me through her. All she would say was that he was soooo nice. Told her to date him. He ended up going to the hospital from work one day, two months after we broke up, then had the receptionist from his work phone to notify me. Told her I don't give a rat's azz about it. My girlfriend stopped taking his calls the next day.
The other one was years ago. Leave messages on my phone when I was out with my kids as to the where was I , who was there etc. | |
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| When do you classify it as stalking?
Posted: 4/19/2006 4:27:27 PM | Actually the best way to get rid of a stalker is to have the warning shot actually hit them. My cousin had a friend who was stalked by a guy who wouldn't let it go when their relationship was over. One day he came to their house with a gun. Her father managed to wrestle it from him, but that didn't stop him. He fired a warning shot and the guy left. 2 days later he shot her point blank in the heart in the parking lot where she worked.
But that is one way to recognize a stalker. And apparently, if you ask the police, that is one of the very few things that a stalker can do in order for the police to have any power to intervene. Gotta love our justice system. Why can't lawyers get stalkers? | |
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| When do you classify it as stalking?
Posted: 4/19/2006 4:56:28 PM | De......That Guy Him is right there is little you can do until they actually harm you.
Most are lucky if they just go away.
I dated a girl once that her old boyfriend stalked her. He rammed my car one night tried to burn her house down twice. They finally caught him the second time drinking my beer that he stole from the house. His downfall. All beer has lot numbers on the labels and they matched them to the empties at the scene of the crime. He did two years and is better man for it now...well at least that is what I heard.
BTW like the new pics.......smokin!!!!
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| When do you classify it as stalking?
Posted: 4/20/2006 9:55:01 AM | When men pursue a woman, we are called stalkers.
When women pursue men, they are called persistent.
Gotta love it................ | |
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| When do you classify it as stalking?
Posted: 4/20/2006 10:28:49 AM | | It is stalking when they are driving by your house at all hours of the night.. calling you and hanging up.. and asking everyone where you are. | |
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| When do you classify it as stalking?
Posted: 4/20/2006 10:53:14 AM | I still think it's Stalking when she keeps trying to talk to you and go out out with you, after you already had sex with her.The first time.  | |
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lohki
| | Joined: 7/22/2005
Msg: 22 | |
| When do you classify it as stalking?
Posted: 4/20/2006 12:20:49 PM | humorous stalking or serious kind?..
serious kind is where you are getting ANY kind of unwanted attention that makes you feel uncomfortable, yet unpunishable it IS stalking.
humorous kind is where I follow you around to each thread posting right after you, trying to "burn" you or get you to move out of saskatchewan and into my house!!..lol
i kid .. i kid!
not just saskatchewan.. new york too!! | |
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| When do you classify it as stalking?
Posted: 4/20/2006 12:55:05 PM | It is stalking when they are driving by your house at all hours of the night.. calling you and hanging up.. and asking everyone where you are.
Its also when someone follows your post on the fourms and replies to every thing you write. | |
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