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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > How do you reject someone?      Home login  
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 silentecho
Joined: 2/21/2006
Msg: 1
How do you reject someone?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I'm very curious about how other people handle situations in the online dating world, so I'm putting this question out:

Someone sends you a message on POF. You check out their profile and you aren't interested. Do you:

a) Just delete the letter they've sent without reading it
b) Open the letter, read it, then delete it
c) Respond with a diplomatic "no thank you"
d) Respond with something completely rude to ensure they don't contact you EVER again
e) Other. If you handle it another way, what's your magic formula?
 cute one 4 u
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 2
How do you reject someone?
Posted: 3/27/2006 6:56:50 PM
I have learned the hard way...
I will read the email and look at their profile and even give it a thought, but if their email or profile is not what intrigues me I 'DELETE'...Sorry... but I use to be nice and reply to all of my emails but for some reason if I say 'Thanks, but no Thanks', they feel I'm playing hard to get so they email me more....Just incase...
 Robby 2
Joined: 3/5/2005
Msg: 3
How do you reject someone?
Posted: 3/27/2006 6:59:43 PM
Most of the mails i get are about my profile.

I thank them, and the kind words they have usually spoken. I am not here to date, or to say "no or no thanks" am more here just to socialize.
 the horned one
Joined: 11/9/2004
Msg: 4
How do you reject someone?
Posted: 3/27/2006 7:01:38 PM
MSG 1 if you have any kind of CLASS! about you i would exspect it to be C. without hesitation!
 MusicalMisty
Joined: 3/25/2006
Msg: 5
How do you reject someone?
Posted: 3/27/2006 7:04:19 PM
Rejecting someone online comes with no cost. Simply deleting their message after reading it and their profile sometimes is the nicer route to go. If I've received a message that implies that they haven't even read my profile, then why would I give them the effort they did not give me. The question is not how to reject online, but how to walk away in real life.
 Xavi
Joined: 1/6/2006
Msg: 6
How do you reject someone?
Posted: 3/27/2006 7:07:47 PM
Well, it depends on the message. If they are polite and decent but not what I am interested in, they get option "c." If they obviously haven't even read my profile or read it and ignored it, "b." If they are intriguing and explain why they ought to get a chance despite not being what I am looking for right now, then they get a chance to make their case, but it usually ends up in "c" anyway. "a" only applies to guys who have forgotten that I said no thanks the first three times they tried me and are still trying.
 Celibacy_Failure
Joined: 3/21/2006
Msg: 7
view profile
History
How do you reject someone?
Posted: 3/27/2006 7:36:30 PM
At least say hi. See what they want. It's similar to someone tapping you on the shoulder. Turn around or act dead? Well, you turn around. Now, options are to run in fear, or see what they want.
 tammyisme
Joined: 12/14/2005
Msg: 8
How do you reject someone?
Posted: 3/28/2006 4:27:45 PM
I would say that C is the only option, If you dont respond at all, people wonder if you even got the message, so not only will you be polite, but also put to rest any question about wether you even read the message.
Also, does it really hurt to exchange a few nicities? I mean just because someone is not what you are looking for in a life partner, does that mean they are not even worth a few minutes of your time???
 sassyasskitty
Joined: 1/15/2004
Msg: 9
How do you reject someone?
Posted: 3/28/2006 4:34:27 PM
I rather prefer using the following method.

OMG!!!! WOW!!!! You are perfect, I mean perfect!!!!
When can we meet so we can have sex, get pregnant, and then get married, and live happily ever after until I decide I dont' want you, just your check???
Can I call you?? Where do you live???
Muah!!!! Cant' wait to hear from you again!!!!!
Love you hunnybunny cuppycakes!!!!
 the horned one
Joined: 11/9/2004
Msg: 10
How do you reject someone?
Posted: 3/28/2006 4:42:00 PM
msg 8 have to agree! it's the right thing to do
 99c
Joined: 3/24/2006
Msg: 11
How do you reject someone?
Posted: 3/28/2006 5:13:15 PM
b) Open the letter, read it, then delete it

Unless the letter has something in particular to respond to, and then I answer that part of it.
 MsAnnThrope
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 12
How do you reject someone?
Posted: 3/28/2006 5:21:36 PM
I normally choose "other." There are perfectly polite and cheerful ways to thank someone for taking the time to write you while letting them know you're not interested, in so many words. (Of course, this applies to politely-worded emails only.)

If you need me to provide a clearer example, send me an email and I'll try to respond in a way that will illustrate my meaning.
 the horned one
Joined: 11/9/2004
Msg: 13
How do you reject someone?
Posted: 3/28/2006 5:41:14 PM
msg 12 in otherwords! please ! E-MAIL NOW! NICE TRY!
 ~crazychic~
Joined: 3/7/2006
Msg: 14
How do you reject someone?
Posted: 3/28/2006 5:49:52 PM
u open it...read it....respond with ty for ur email...... good luck with ur search......
 jfkhair
Joined: 7/26/2005
Msg: 15
How do you reject someone?
Posted: 3/28/2006 5:55:22 PM
Very smart "crazychic". I would instantly get the idea that you were "not" interested from that. Smooth. Are you interested? LOL jk. Have a great one.

Matt
 Constancy
Joined: 2/22/2006
Msg: 16
How do you reject someone?
Posted: 3/28/2006 6:04:16 PM
I try to respond to every email, try to at least.
If I am not interested:
Thank you, but no Thank you.
I appreciate you emailing me.
Good luck in your search.

Signed

I just think it's simple respect for the human on the other end.
 ~crazychic~
Joined: 3/7/2006
Msg: 17
How do you reject someone?
Posted: 3/28/2006 6:08:44 PM
ty matt....works for me........i dont like being rude by just reading and then deleting the email.........i DO (wink wink) respond to all my mail.....but now that i put on my profile...do not email me ..cause it will just b deleted.......(i dont get alot) lol...... works too.......
 MsAnnThrope
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 18
How do you reject someone?
Posted: 3/28/2006 6:15:58 PM
HornyDevil: No, you don't quite get it. If the OP wants to email me, I will send her a polite rejection note. I get plenty of email as it is; but I was offering the OP a chance to be on the receiving end of a nice reply.

However, after reading a few of your other forum posts, I would not bother should you try emailing me. "Read/deleted" is about the best you could hope for.
 jessikaowl
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 19
How do you reject someone?
Posted: 3/28/2006 6:17:09 PM
I do all of the above, depending on what their email said.

If they just say "hi" or something equally as lame, I ignore it.

If they didn't read my profile or could be my father, and hit on me, I ignore and BLOCK.

If they are vulgar or rude, I am twice as rude back. They deserve it.

Most guys will not take rejection well unless you come out and say what you mean and how you really feel. Have to deal with them plain and simple.
examples:

"I AM NOT INTERESTED IN TALKING TO YOU, PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE. THANK YOU."

"YOU ARE UGLY AND I AM OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE, PLEASE DO NOT ATTEMPT TO CONTACT ME AGAIN"

"NO."

"I AM TAKEN BUT THANK YOU FOR WRITING. GOOD LUCK ON YOUR SEARCH."

"GROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Usually anything other than "you're cute, wanna hook up" will cause a guy to say you are stupid/ugly/fat, even though they wrote to you in the first place saying how hot you are.
 the horned one
Joined: 11/9/2004
Msg: 20
How do you reject someone?
Posted: 3/28/2006 6:19:18 PM
msg 18 i do get it just having a
 MsAnnThrope
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 21
How do you reject someone?
Posted: 3/28/2006 6:20:33 PM
Oh goody. I would love to join you in a , and I will, as soon as something funny is said.
 Rebellious
Joined: 2/5/2006
Msg: 22
How do you reject someone?
Posted: 3/28/2006 6:23:42 PM
Just delete the message. But I don't think of it as "rejection", you cannot reject somebody you don't know. You simply choose not to communicate, that may be a wise or unwise decision.
 the horned one
Joined: 11/9/2004
Msg: 23
How do you reject someone?
Posted: 3/28/2006 6:32:19 PM
msg 18 oh so HOSTILE ! i didn't attack you. and as regards my posts everybody is entitled! to there opinions! maybe you should a bit more! attacking! gains nothing! really!
 MsAnnThrope
Joined: 11/28/2005
Msg: 24
How do you reject someone?
Posted: 3/28/2006 6:51:32 PM
Please teach me to use exclamation points so effectively.
 the horned one
Joined: 11/9/2004
Msg: 25
How do you reject someone?
Posted: 3/28/2006 7:03:32 PM
msg 24 does it mean that much to you!
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