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Posted: 3/29/2006 9:07:25 AM | | Why is it that men, most of them, choose to no longer contact you if they are not interested in you as a girlfriend? What ever happoned to friendships? I also think that when the relationship is over, friendship or otherwise, the men just stop talking, can they not at least let you know that they have moved on???? Or are not interested in you. This is just being polite, and you never know what life brings in the future, why burn bridges. You can read my story onAS THOUGH MY HEART GOT RIPPED FROM MY CHEST...IN BROKEN HEARTS. thanks PJ | |
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Posted: 3/29/2006 10:23:55 AM | Women are so much more wrapped up in emotions, even after the breakup we really want to simply know how they are doing. Because we really cared. We still want some type of contact from time to time, even just an email message. It seems impossible to remain friends, which I don't understand, especially if you knew this person really cared deeply for you at one time. However, I personally don't want to hear details about their personal relationships, that would just be more hurtful.
But, good question about why some people can't just enjoy friendship without their being a romantic relationship in the future. Also, one that I don't have the answer????? | |
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Posted: 3/29/2006 11:36:11 AM | | Thank you, you are so right!!! confused, it is nice to have gal lpals that understand my point of view. Yes, I also do not want to hear about the personal stuff, just that they are ok with the decisions he has made and that I believe things go full circle, he will come around sometime, not now, but somtime if he stays open to new relationships, I am forgiving and caring person, he has been forgiven for the way he treated me, that is over, you can not move on intel you forgive. We had such a connection that I thought he enjoyed as well, it baffles me that he would want to give it all up, you never knowl what life brings around the corner, I think he should have thought about that, if he contacts me I will welcome him in my life as a friend. Yes I am emotional that is for sure.Thanks pj | |
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Posted: 3/29/2006 5:28:57 PM | they don't contact u cus
1 they know u have fallen and don't want to hurt u anymore
2 they know if they remain friends with u it will lead to sex
sometimes friendship leads to becoming closer .......then sex
there is just some ppl who won't have sex with certain ppl
if they let u know they have moved on it will just hurt u more | |
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Posted: 3/29/2006 5:40:15 PM | | For some, it may just be fera, the fear of facing the truth... | |
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Posted: 3/29/2006 5:47:19 PM | I tried to remain friends with my ex, but i couldn't stop brining up how upset i was that our relationship was over.
I kept telling her that i missed her, and that i wanted her back, and all that did was drive a wedge into our friendship. In hindsight i should of just walked away once the deal was done. Friendship was a pleasant idea, but impossible with as strongly as i felt for her. | |
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Posted: 3/29/2006 7:00:52 PM | | HI, Thanks for your information. I think you are correct, in my case, your number 2. I think if we saw each other we would have sex, most likley soon, as we have known each other for about 6 months. He persues me. And he does not want to hurt me, he has told me so, even though he already has, he has said he was truley sorry for what he did. Or could it be that he has the attraction to me and better off staying away??? I would like just to be online friends for now, but he does not invite this. I am not hanging around waiting for him, I date some, but it is just a shame that he does not give me a chance to be a friend.I will continue to contact him, once a month or so, to keep the door open, so he will feel comfortable contacting me if and when he chooses. You see he contacted me, already knowing he had a girlfriend, so that tells me that the relationship with her is rocky, why contact me? after almost 4 months.He must still have some thought of me. We were not sexually active togeather,it is all in timing I say. thanks again pj | |
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Posted: 3/29/2006 7:02:19 PM | | Please explaine further, truth?? that he treated me badly or what...thanks pj | |
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Posted: 3/29/2006 7:05:11 PM | | Hi, I am sorry for you, it is painful to love someone so much and not have it returned. My friend and me were just friends, I was wanting to take it easy and see what would come of are realtionship, just have fun togeather. Perhaps some other time for us. pj | |
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Posted: 3/31/2006 11:49:43 AM | | PJ I hear ya girl..........we just hate that final goodbye, we do really care about him, although they have moved on and don't seem to care if we are dead or alive. Any contact would be better than totally ignoring our presence in their lives, even if in the past. That is what hurts us the most, thinking that they never cared to begin with. If they did, how would it be so easy for them to forget about you? | |
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Posted: 3/31/2006 2:09:52 PM | | Hi, and thanks, yes, men seem to move on quickly, when I am not interested in a man, I do not start someting to begin with, or say at first lets just be friends and no more, If they do great, if not, too bad, at least I do not lead them on, or lie to them, I like to cut it off real quick if I am not interested, I do not like doing this, but at least they know what the score is. Yes, you are right!! Just cut us off like we never existed, that has just happoned to me with a so called friend, like all or notheig, what is with that!!! I guess he has his reasons, I like to think that he is attracted to me so he does not want to be around me, THINK POSITIVE I SAY!!!!!He has a girlfriend, so why did he even bother to look me up again?? That tells me that things are not so happy in his relationship with her, and sooner or later he will be knockin at the door again if I leave it open for him to do so, and I will. We never slept togeather, the relationship just did not get that far, that is what pisses me off, is when they do not even give you a chance, even in friendship. I am not holding my breath on this one, but I have him on a back burner, I will contact him once a month, just to let him know I am around, and when the time is right, he will feel confortable contacting me again, unless I find someone else!!Ha!!!!Please reply again, I like different points of view!!pj thanks | |
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Posted: 3/31/2006 5:02:07 PM | It's not fear. It's pain, mixed with self-pity and perhaps remorse. Guys just don't want to return to that painful place because to do so means revisiting all of the emotions they're trying to get away from. And guys are notorious for interpreting friendship as attraction. If I was in his shoes, I would never have contacted you before six months were up, because I'd be trying to get you back. Getting a new gf is just another coping method.
~Aurora | |
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Posted: 4/1/2006 12:34:25 AM | | thank you!!than really makes me think, I think you are right, and thank you for you honest opinion.We were never considered boyfriend and girlfriend, it just upsets me that he did not even give me a chance, he led me on, making plans to so some fun stuff togeather, and the next time, I get an email. I was never a girlfriend, I would have like to have been if given the chance to get more aquainted with him thank you again. pj | |
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