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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > How long do you wait to start dating after a separation?      Home login  
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 chattinggirl
Joined: 2/10/2006
Msg: 1
How long do you wait to start dating after a separation?Page 1 of 1    
How many months should you wait until you start dating again after a separation?
Should it be a year? Should it be 6 months?
 Sh!tzNGiggles
Joined: 3/3/2006
Msg: 2
How long do you wait to start dating after a separation?
Posted: 3/29/2006 11:57:55 AM
In my opinion, until you are comfortable being alone with all your "baggage" packed away.
 Fry Lock
Joined: 10/4/2005
Msg: 3
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How long do you wait to start dating after a separation?
Posted: 3/29/2006 11:58:37 AM
Till the divorce is final...
 couldusecompany
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 4
How long do you wait to start dating after a separation?
Posted: 3/29/2006 11:59:09 AM
I think it varies on many factors. Some people say that the best way to get over a previous relationship is to get into another right away. But I don't agree with that. I think you have to get back to who you were before you met the guy. Rediscover yourself, and be comfortable with being single for a bit.
 Catch A Star
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 5
How long do you wait to start dating after a separation?
Posted: 3/29/2006 12:02:54 PM
Till you're divorced.
 cuteandreal
Joined: 3/10/2006
Msg: 6
How long do you wait to start dating after a separation?
Posted: 3/29/2006 12:12:58 PM
UHH???? Are you still pregnant????
 Amazonlady
Joined: 1/7/2006
Msg: 7
How long do you wait to start dating after a separation?
Posted: 3/29/2006 12:14:22 PM
I am in this situation myself. My (ex) Husband and I seperated for good 6 months ago. Really our marriage had been dissolving for over a year. I took time to get used to being alone. Then I began dating and meeting people, just for fun. Not looking for another relationship but to explore whats out 'there' in the dating scene now. I don't think theres anything wrong with that.

I'm moving forward in my seperation to divorce, but I also feel ready to start casually dating one guy - and having a relationship with that one special guy. When I find him I will. Until then I consider myself single and moving towards my divorce still.

Single isn't a 'state of mind'. A man *nor woman* cannot just decide they are single one night, if they are married or in any relationship for that matter. There must be a CLOSING to the relationship they are in.

Then, you are single.
 YamIhere
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 8
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How long do you wait to start dating after a separation?
Posted: 3/29/2006 12:14:43 PM
I'd give it at least three days.
 Hezron
Joined: 12/15/2005
Msg: 9
How long do you wait to start dating after a separation?
Posted: 3/29/2006 12:26:07 PM
Letthre divorce finalize. This usually takes at least a year after which time hopefully you have taken care of all of your issues and you getthe closure of the final document. Then go get em!!!!!!
 EastSideEddie
Joined: 3/5/2006
Msg: 10
How long do you wait to start dating after a separation?
Posted: 3/29/2006 12:38:38 PM
I made phone calls as I was driving away from the house.....
 wolfskshuntress
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 11
How long do you wait to start dating after a separation?
Posted: 3/29/2006 1:01:10 PM
agreed, wait until after the divorce ..
 EnjoytheSilence:)
Joined: 3/9/2006
Msg: 12
How long do you wait to start dating after a separation?
Posted: 3/29/2006 1:09:18 PM
After the DIVORCE? as IF! Get real here people, this isnt 1950!!

You can date when you are READY, emotionally. It might take you months, weeks or even years to actually be ready to get on that bus again. Waiting for the divorce is not a gurantee that you are ready to date. It took me 2 yrs and I dated someone 6 months after I was separated...for me, that was not good. He was a nice guy and I had to let him go. Then, due to my inability to make good choices, I dated some riff raff along the way.

Its now, and I am still separated, that I am ready to embark on a relationship rollercoaster :) I will be divorced soon, but I dont think of it as something that is holding me back anymore from living. A piece of paper will not prevent me from moving forward, I am not that psychologially weak. I will admit though, it certainly can be a barrier if you let it. As long as you know your relationship is over and move forward, it will be fine to date when the hell you are ready!! Dont do it any sooner nor wait for some ding dong to divorce you...u might pass by something worth exploring!

 packman
Joined: 10/8/2005
Msg: 13
How long do you wait to start dating after a separation?
Posted: 3/29/2006 1:13:11 PM
for me...i was single through 6 months of being seperated....and then almost another year after the divorce was final.....it just depends on the person.....peoples hearts heal at a different rate....but definaltly wait until the divorce is final.
 Catch A Star
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 14
How long do you wait to start dating after a separation?
Posted: 3/29/2006 2:43:02 PM
It's not so much the piece of paper, it's giving the wound time to heal. It's not right to make other people deal with your baggage, and you can't come out of a marriage with no feelings, no dissapointments or heartbreak. It's the other person I'm thinking about more at this point. I make it a rule not to date separated. It's something I've learned from experience.
 DentedKnight
Joined: 7/7/2005
Msg: 15
How long do you wait to start dating after a separation?
Posted: 3/29/2006 2:47:55 PM
Give it five minutes.

Seriously, as soon as you have almost all your baggage checked at the door.
Time depends on the circumstances. Depending on the intensity of the marriage and breakup the number will change for each person. Hell, it took me three months just to find the key to my luggage, I mean baggage..er..I think.

So give it some time. Me I took a year, but that's just me. You need the time for your confidence and awareness of your self as an idividual again to re-emerge.
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 16
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How long do you wait to start dating after a separation?
Posted: 3/29/2006 3:08:06 PM
I was ready a year before we actually separated, so I didn't waste any time once I moved out! It took a few weeks to actually meet someone, though!
 Bandito
Joined: 11/9/2005
Msg: 17
How long do you wait to start dating after a separation?
Posted: 3/29/2006 3:08:11 PM
Great post

I often wonder that myself. I have been seperated 10 months but still don't think dating is appropriate, mostly because I feel my kids need more time to adjust.

Even having me just meeting new friends has been am adjustment process. I find I am still not quite ready for emotional intimacy.

I think perhaps a year or more might be needed for some, less for others....it really depends on a number of factors like the length of the marriage.

For the people that say "until divorced", I strongly disagree...for a number of reasons some peoplke stay seperated for long periods before divorces are final...that doesnt make them less datable just less marriable.

Just my two cents,

Bandito
 2LuvYou2
Joined: 3/5/2006
Msg: 18
How long do you wait to start dating after a separation?
Posted: 3/29/2006 3:21:06 PM
I tried dating afew months after me and my ex split up but I knew I wasn't ready so backed off of the whole dating thing, because I knew that I wasn't fully over my ex and I didn't want to start a relationship knowing I had feelings for him still. It wouldn't be fair to the person I was dating because my mind and heart wasn't ready.
 Shanadoah
Joined: 9/25/2005
Msg: 19
How long do you wait to start dating after a separation?
Posted: 3/29/2006 5:06:24 PM
a year....and even then look hard and close.
 soft spurs
Joined: 2/11/2006
Msg: 20
How long do you wait to start dating after a separation?
Posted: 3/29/2006 5:18:24 PM
To: enjoy the silence.

Wow...how the h- - - did you grow up so great. seldom do we get the opportunity to see such insite and wisdom. Yay you !!!!
As for the orig,Q---A person starts to date when they-themselves-feel that they are emotionally ready to do so- be it 2 months or 2 years!!! Each of us, and our lives, is a seperate entity-not to be compared with others, for after all we are unique
 Shanadoah
Joined: 9/25/2005
Msg: 21
How long do you wait to start dating after a separation?
Posted: 3/29/2006 5:38:52 PM

, Wow...how the h- - - did you grow up so great


Thats called taking the necessary time to heal and emotional work.


for after all we are unique


Terminal Uniqueness...Yikes!!!

If I was a pole 10ft wouldn't be far enough
 arri
Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 22
How long do you wait to start dating after a separation?
Posted: 3/29/2006 5:40:52 PM
Time is irrelevant. It's about feeling that connection with someone new .. however long that takes.
 Shanadoah
Joined: 9/25/2005
Msg: 23
How long do you wait to start dating after a separation?
Posted: 3/29/2006 5:53:48 PM

Time is irrelevant


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