| | Why does she keep cancelling?Page 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | Okay, I met this girl on another dating site and we have been getting along great emailing and phoning each other. The chemistry is excellent, she seems to be very interested in me but the only problem is that she has cancelled our plans to meet three times in row over the last three weeks. Every time we make plans she always calls and cancels a few hours before and it always has to do with staying late at work.
Yet, in the meantime she will still call and talk to me over the phone showing interest, complimenting me in different ways and telling me how much she is looking forward to meeting me.
Anyway, yesterday she did it again. What is up with that? I mean wtf?
Should I cut her loose or give her another chance? | |
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| Why does she keep cancelling?
Posted: 3/31/2006 6:49:52 AM | Sounds like Your getting frustrated...
my advice... keep calling and emailing... and deal with it... let her be the one to make that plans... or maybe if you guys are planning to meet one on one... try something a bit more subtle... goout to a bar... or make plans to go out to a very public place or something... try and make it as stress free as possible for her... that coudl be the problem.... if she is still talking to you there must be some interest there... or it's all a big lie .. who knows... but try letting her make the plans and whatnot before you jump the gun .. .I dunno maybe that will work | |
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| Why does she keep cancelling?
Posted: 3/31/2006 6:57:06 AM | Thanks Broken, but that's what we have planned every time. We are just supposed to meet for a coffee or a drink somewhere, see each other for the the first time face-to-face and see what the chemistry is like in person.
No fuss, no hassles. I am not pressuring her, I don't call or email her everyday (but she does) and these cancellations are getting to be a drag.
Anwyay, I called her back and left a message saying to just let me know when and where. | |
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| Why does she keep cancelling?
Posted: 3/31/2006 6:58:27 AM | i had a guy like that to talked for a realy long time but he kept coming up with excuses as to why he couldnt meet i was starting to think he was married and then finally when we met i never heard from him again ...but what bothers me is that we had a great time chatting and i wouldnt of minded if we were just friends but oh well another one bites the dust | |
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| Why does she keep cancelling?
Posted: 3/31/2006 7:23:43 AM | Maybe you are right Fran, maybe she is just busy. But is it really coincidence that she has had to stay late at work on the three exact days we were supposed to meet over a period of three weeks? It just seems fishy.
Anwyay, I left the ball in her court. | |
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| Why does she keep cancelling?
Posted: 3/31/2006 7:26:16 AM | Tan Jay
Sorry, this smells phishy to me. Always cancelling a few hours before you two are to meet? I'm wondering if she was truthful in her profile etc., Have you two exchanged photos, webcam etc.,
I'd continue looking around and not just limit yourself to this one woman. | |
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| Why does she keep cancelling?
Posted: 3/31/2006 7:26:25 AM | Maybe she really does genuinely have a busy work schedule.
I definitely agree with what someone else suggested... Try to get her to agree to a meet up on her day off and if she cancels then there may be some other reason she's avoiding you. Maybe it's just nerves. | |
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ir0n
| | Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 10 | |
| Why does she keep cancelling?
Posted: 3/31/2006 7:27:13 AM | Cut her loose... she is toying with you. If she was actually interested in you then she would show up when she is meant to.
She is just giving you an ego stroke to string you along in case she has a night with nothing to do. Respect yourself man or nobody else will. | |
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| Why does she keep cancelling?
Posted: 3/31/2006 7:33:53 AM | It could be somethings up and shes not being honest with you, have u guys seen each others pics or on cam?? cuz on the flip side.. maybe shes insecure and worried that maybe when u meet her , she wont be what u expect or that maybe u'll find her unattractive or something.. Putting off the dates buys her more time... Shes not brushing you off totally if shes still talking on the phone with you.. Dunno but good luck!  | |
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| Why does she keep cancelling?
Posted: 3/31/2006 7:37:08 AM | TJ, even if she's genuinely just busy ... do you really want to be dating someone (trying to) who is so unavailable? I mean .. unless she's an accountant and it's tax season or something .... won't it probably always be like this? Impossible to nail down, always cancelling last minute ... never seeing her.
Personally I would conclude at this point that no matter how great someone was, or how excited I was to meet them, I'd just rather be dating someone who is more available, and easier to plan around and with. | |
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| Why does she keep cancelling?
Posted: 3/31/2006 7:37:31 AM | | Have to agree with TallVirgo. This girl is hiding something. There's slow and steady pacing in dating and then there's non-existent. This falls in the latter category. Why put up with it? The trend Will continue....Past behaviour = future behaviour. | |
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| Why does she keep cancelling?
Posted: 3/31/2006 7:38:39 AM | Hey Iron,
I am beggining to think what you are saying is right. It's just that I left a long-term relationship nine months ago and it felt good again to have a girl show interest in me. I was looking forward to getting out on the dating scene again so it's kind of letdown that it's not panning out.
P.S. Yeah, we have both seen eachother's pics and have talked comfortably and at length about eachother, even with sexual innuendos, very comfortable communication. I just don't get it. | |
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| Why does she keep cancelling?
Posted: 3/31/2006 7:51:55 AM | Ok, there's one of 2 things why.., 1.she is really nervous about meeting you, afraid the chemistry isn't going to be there in person like it is over the phone; nervous you both will feel ackward, etc. or 2. she isn't who she is in the pic/or profile..I love this site, but I'm telling you some of the people on here just PRETEND to be something else, or it's some type of fantasy-reality for them.
I'd say give her ONE more chance.., if she cancels again, CUT HER LOOSE! | |
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ir0n
| | Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 16 | |
| Why does she keep cancelling?
Posted: 3/31/2006 7:54:14 AM | Been there man... takes a little while to build up the confidence again after a breakup. Thats when you are most vulnerable to being played unfortunately. Thats why we are here though man... a he-**** slap to snap you out of the daze and get you back on track LOL
Dont take it personal... it happens to everyone.
Good luck | |
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| Why does she keep cancelling?
Posted: 3/31/2006 7:59:44 AM | | Thanks Iron, I appreciate the support. Your'e right, her attention was a confidence builder and it's just deflating when she cancels all the time. I guess it's best just to move on. | |
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| Why does she keep cancelling?
Posted: 3/31/2006 8:36:13 AM | I don't know, is it really necessary to "Cut her Loose" if she cancels one more time? You'd like to meet her, right? That's what all this text and telephone dance is about. You seem to enjoy talking to her and feel there's a connection. If that sort of connection comes along every day then sure, why stick around if you think she's playing you. But what if she's not? People do get busy, and sometimes it just can't be helped. And I don't know about you, but I don't get that connection with everyone I meet on these sights. I think if you feel a connection with her, why not give it a chance? What's the rush?
I say cut her some slack, don't cut her loose. Sure, suggest that she make the next date to meet. Maybe you'll have to work late! I think she'd understand.
In the meantime, put out another line. You're not sitting around waiting for her, nobody says you have to. This is fishing, right...
I also agree with the suggestion that maybe she's a little shy. You may have a good thing going on line, and on the phone and she doe'snt want to loose that. It might be a security thing for her, who knows? Maybe she needs a little more time to get her confidence up.
Give her the benefit of the doubt. Not everyone on here is out to "play" people.
I hope things work out for you both. | |
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| Why does she keep cancelling?
Posted: 3/31/2006 8:43:47 AM | Thanks Later, I did just that. I returned her message and left the ball in her court. Meanwhile, I am keeping busy casting other lines out into PoF. Anwyay, thanks for the input. | |
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| Why does she keep cancelling?
Posted: 3/31/2006 8:44:06 AM | | Why? Because this is a meat market and she found some fresher meat. Girls honestly believe that they are just as hot as the hottest guy who ever used them for sex. Even though they are only a 7.5 out of 10, they truly believe that a guy who is an 8 out of 10 and has a good job isn't good enough. All they have to do is keep shopping and they'll find a brawny, 10-years-younger stud who will not only spend a whole night, and not only be single and employed and heterosexual, but will even marry them. | |
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| Why does she keep cancelling?
Posted: 3/31/2006 8:47:50 AM | Tan - try setting up a 'date' near her office. You don't have to know exactly where she works but have her choose a spot within so many blocks. So you two can briefly meet for 30 min to an hour during her lunch break.
Even if you two exchanged pics - doesn't mean what she sent you was really her or that it was recent. Ya never know.
Good luck though. | |
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ir0n
| | Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 22 | |
| Why does she keep cancelling?
Posted: 3/31/2006 8:52:17 AM | Think of it this way... who do you think you will enjoy spending time with more... a woman who shows up when she says she will be somewhere, or one that flakes out on a regular basis.
Who will treat you better in the long run?
If you have been bitten 3 times by a dog in the pet store, you wouldnt buy it would you? | |
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| Why does she keep cancelling?
Posted: 3/31/2006 10:03:14 AM | Figment, that's fine if she did, she should just be honest about it and tell me to get lost then.
TallVirgo, I have pretty well given up at this point. It's up to her.
And Iron, ha ha!!! Yeah, I suppose I wouldn't buy that dog.. no matter how lonely I was.
Thanks everyone... | |
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| Why does she keep cancelling?
Posted: 3/31/2006 10:17:28 AM | Dearest Jay!!! LOL
I just wanted to let you know i sent my sisters pic and that isnt really me im a 500 lbs midget with no teeth...Do you still wanna meet???
Your Dream Girl.
Ok that was just an FYI. This actually happened where the guy had sent his brothers pic to me...I was head over hills with the pic. When we met he was nothing like what he said!! I was like um NO!
I think the others could be right I think she is nothing like she said and you are in for a big surprise. Why cant people just be real! Blah!!
Anyway you have my two cents worth!  | |
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Ooli
| | Joined: 12/17/2005
Msg: 25 | |
| Why does she keep cancelling?
Posted: 3/31/2006 10:27:26 AM | I had a similar situation and chose to let it go. He cancelled three dates in a row, all for legitimate, work-related reasons. Even saying that, I had to get honest about what was going on. It became clear to me that I was not a priority in his life and that most likely, it would always be that way. That doesn't mean that he wasn't attracted to me or that he didn't care about me. He just didn't place me at the top of his priority list. Work came first, even with regards to his children. I decided I wanted and deserved more from a boyfriend, so, I let him go and started dating other men. Sometimes, caring is not enough. You have to put time and energy into a relationship for it to work.
I believe that he was a workaholic and that nothing else mattered when he was submersed in it. There were more red flags then his cancelling three dates in a row. This behaviour was not just directed at me, but his friends and children, as well. I found it very sad that he invested so much of himself in his work and let the many other "meaningful" things in his life slide by unexperienced. There is a saying that, 'No one on his death bed, says, "I wish I'd spent more time at the office."'
It is possible that your love interest is a workaholic, as well. Let her know about your concerns and see what she has to say. However, if you decide to give her another chance, be prepared to be cancelled on again. Consider where you rank as a priority with her. Ask yourself if this is what you want in life, because the pattern will most likely continue. Remember, people are on their best behaviour at the beginning of a relationship. Good luck. | |
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