| Now that you're older, do you feel different about relationships?
Posted: 4/1/2006 11:49:16 AM | When I was young and starry-eyed, I used to think that a great relationship would "make my life perfect". Now that I'm older and "wiser?", I find that I'm pretty indifferent to them. If I find a good relationship, that's fine... If I don't, well, life will go on, and I'll be pretty happy anyway. . .
Anyone else at this place in their life or am I weird??
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| Now that you're older, do you feel different about relationships?
Posted: 4/1/2006 11:55:38 AM | Nope, Rawwwchester, you aren't weird. As I age, I find there is a lot more to life than I thought there was 20, 30 or even 40 years ago. I am happy in my skin and if someone came along to complement my lifestyle that would be a bonus not a necessity.
Tink, Calgary | |
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| Now that you're older, do you feel different about relationships?
Posted: 4/1/2006 12:14:15 PM | To everything there is a season,
a time for every purpose under the sun.
A time to be born and a time to die;
a time to plant and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
a time to kill and a time to heal ...
a time to weep and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn and a time to dance ...
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to lose and a time to seek;
a time to rend and a time to sew;
a time to keep silent and a time to speak;
a time to love and a time to hate;
a time for war and a time for peace.
ecclesiastes 3: 1-8 | |
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| Now that you're older, do you feel different about relationships?
Posted: 4/1/2006 1:40:18 PM | Ouch  Now, don't go poking any fun at us who just turned 50...
It's more than natural for people to feel different about relationships as we get older.. We're a little less willing to put up with crap; we are very selective with who is in our lives; and I think most of us, more so the women, we want to live our lives.. We've spent years doing things for husbands or S/O's and children, now we want to go out and nurture ourselves.. I'd love to have some awesome fella in my life but its not a requirement.. My biological time clock never ticked, so that's not my excuse for looking for a hubby... Personally, I think life gets better by the day and I don't have anything to prove to anyone.. It's quality over quantity for this babe! | |
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| Now that you're older, do you feel different about relationships?
Posted: 4/1/2006 1:45:47 PM | Hey "U" you are so right....I have completly changed my way of thinking now. If I have a man thats cool and if I dont no big I view men differently and am able to pretty much think the way they do concerning relationships. I think I would rather be alone then hook up with a looser. In my younger days I would have tolerated alot more than I do now...plus...I seem to only date younger guys now...not sure why on that, but its all good !!! | |
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| Now that you're older, do you feel different about relationships?
Posted: 4/1/2006 2:52:24 PM | Yep...I'm gonna let a woman propose to me this time. Accept a really really nice piece of jewlery. Wear it for a year or two before I decide if I really want to spend my life with her. Other than that I am still old fashioned .
Attraction, date, sex and buh-bye! | |
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| Now that you're older, do you feel different about relationships?
Posted: 4/1/2006 6:34:17 PM | .
It seems that from 40 to about 55 most people spend a lot of time patting themselves and each other on the back about how young they still look and how much energy they have. It’s actually quite amusing to watch when you don’t worry about such things yourself.
So, of course, the single 40 to 55 year old group want to put their “young looks” and “full of energy” bodies to good use and stir up a few new experiences, often with younger people.
That attitude seems to end when they reach 55, or so. They usually don’t look too much different, or have a greatly different energy level, than when 50 or younger, but a new mindset takes over.
Above 55 years old, folks start thinking about retirement. And when they are single, they realize that there is a very good chance that they could be spending those retirement years alone. Which means, they might have a little free jingle in their pocket and plenty of free time on their hands but . . . what? It’s not only empty-nest time, it’s empty home time 24/7.
The middle aged fling ends about 55. Retirement comes after 60. And then it all sinks in and you have endless hours alone to think about it.
I know many single people in their 60s. It’s easier for guys to date simply because, at that age, single women far outnumber single men. But a lot of the single men have essentially given up on the dating scene simply because of the bitter taste left in their mouths after a few years of dealing the younger women during their middle-age fling time. Most women in their middle to late 60s do much better alone than most men. That’s probably one reason the men die off faster.
But of course that is not true for everyone. Few single people in the 65 year old set are out playing the field. But, many men and women are keeping their eyes open for someone to mate up with. And this time it actually can become easier. The restraints of career are gone. There is no problem with kids then, you just visit with the grandkids from time to time. There’s no hurry to do anything, no one to report to, no one caring what the two of you do all day (or don’t do), and very little to worry about.
Truly, one need not compile a picky list for an enjoyable mate in the over 65 age group. Are there a couple major things you enjoy doing that your prospective mate also enjoys? Cool! Go do them together. Because, unless they have a few habits that will totally aggravate you, everything will be copasetic (always wanted to use that word again!). And if you are both into all the little things nature provides (which usually becomes an interest at 65 and above), the many things you overlooked while raising a family and working so much, so much the better. We can call that an easy-going (and fun) relationship. So go forth and enjoy the next twenty-some years with companionship.
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| Now that you're older, do you feel different about relationships?
Posted: 4/2/2006 9:07:19 AM | | Most of the older ladies have worked on the question "what is a relationship and do I need one". We meet men who are in the 50's sporting a younger woman and winking at us like we know what that's about. Then as they approach the BIG 60 they turn to us and ask "what was I thinking ?".So ladies, if the 50 something men are not available keep in mind that it does and will come around, we outlive them anyway (laugh). Keep working on yourself and be happy with who you are, I'm sure you are a special lady. | |
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| Now that you're older, do you feel different about relationships?
Posted: 4/2/2006 9:39:38 AM | | I feel different in what I want in a relationship now, compared to what I wanted when I was younger. I want something real, lasting and more settled. Not for the security, but for the peace of mind and heart. I don't think anyone enjoys the thought of living life in solitude. | |
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| Now that you're older, do you feel different about relationships?
Posted: 4/10/2006 3:44:08 PM | When I was younger, I fell in love easily and was attracted to someone more by their looks than anything else. I felt that love would conquer all no mater what.
Now that I've been married and am separated, I feel that there is a lot more to a relationship than physical attraction. (i.e. sex) The couples that I know my own age are happy and share common interests and ideals. More than that, they care for each other and try to make each other happy as well as being sexually attracted to each other.
Wish I could find that too.
Tim | |
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| Now that you're older, do you feel different about relationships?
Posted: 4/10/2006 3:53:19 PM | I fell in love too easy when I was younger & I still do. Thats soething I have to work on,hehe.I never did & still dont look at the looks. It is whats inside that counts. I want the sex but I also more than anything want the communication & the hugs & cuddles.
Tim,I wish I could find it also. | |
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| Now that you're older, do you feel different about relationships?
Posted: 4/10/2006 4:28:59 PM |
I fell in love too easy when I was younger & I still do. Thats something I have to work on,hehe.
I really feel like the pendulum has swung the other way for me. I am very cautious getting to know new people these days, and don't look for sky rockets and firecrackers on first dates anymore. Life is too complicated when you're older and it takes awhile to see if you're compatible, etc...
But I'm still looking... | |
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| Now that you're older, do you feel different about relationships?
Posted: 4/10/2006 4:36:33 PM | I don't feel differently about relationships but I do feel differently about who I will share it with.
I was a loving and pasionate guy. I worked a hard life and when I got to enjoy the simple things that relationships offerred, I took full advantage of it. I still feel that way today. However, I am also more selective with whom I share my passion and affection.
If anything, sensuality and sexuality was never a concern in the past. Unfortunately, some women were infactuated with my affectionate and passionate qualities and forgot about the rest of what it takes to maintain a relationship. Because of that, I have a tendency not to become affectionate unless my heart has been won over.
I want to restore the beauty of a relationship.... I simply have not rediscovered a woman who can bring those feelings to the surface, as of yet (there has been a close call, or two). | |
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mogrl
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Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 19 | |
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| Now that you're older, do you feel different about relationships?
Posted: 4/11/2006 2:18:28 PM | Well one thing is that I am not so worried about being in a specific relationship. Sure it would be very nice to have some one special to come home to, etc, etc but it isn't the main thing in life. If it happens then great...if it doesn't...well then it doesn't.
I used to be all worried about being single too long and thinking that I should be in a relationship...jumped into them too quickly...now I'll take my time if the right one comes along.
Kevin | |
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| Now that you're older, do you feel different about relationships?
Posted: 4/11/2006 3:24:56 PM | Yes. I'd echo most of the posts here. I like myself now. I accept the real possibility I may be alone and it doesn't scare me. I haven't had the opportunity for these wonderful mid-life flings mentioned above, but hey - you have to live in hope!
Seriously, I don't want a fling. And that means I have to be extra careful not to put too many eggs into relationship baskets. It doesn't mean that I think every man I date is The One. It DOES mean I'm not about to waste precious time on someone if I think there is absolutely no possiblity it might turn out that we could be special to each other at least for a time.
I've never been, and never will be, a casual sex person. That limits my dating opportunities to first dates in most cases! Okay - their loss. There's nothing wrong with people wanting to hop into bed together at the earliest opportunity, but it isn't my style. And one thing that's changed as I've got older is that I don't feel in the least apologetic for it, nor am I judgemental of those who are different. I just know we're unlikley to be compatible.
I am more hopeful at this time of life (45) than I ever dreamt I would be. And it is better to travel hopefully than arrive, so they say. Personally I'm kind of hoping to arrive someday!  But if not - well, there's a lot of life to be lived, isn't there? | |
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| Now that you're older, do you feel different about relationships?
Posted: 4/11/2006 5:52:35 PM | That's basically where I'm at too. I always wanted the perfect life - the man to grow old with, but I once thought I had him. He was (or so I thought) my soul mate. Things changed, it wasn't to be. I spent about 3 yrs in a depression over this break up. Always thought I was meant to live my life with someone, I wasn't 'meant' to be alone.
Well...at "almost" 48 (got a b'day coming up - sigh), I'm at that point in my life I never thought I'd be at; I'm HAPPY being on my own, having my own space, and my own place. What I do miss however, is the companionship of a man. Someone I can call up and say "hey, would you like to go......", or have someone call me up to offer to go somewhere, or do something. That's really what I miss right now. I don't have many single friends, and those who are single - are a lot older than me, and don't live close by, so it's hard sometimes to find that companionship/friendship. | |
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