| What happened here??
Posted: 4/2/2006 5:52:50 AM | I've lived next door to someone who became essentially my good friend for the past six years, she and I helped each other through some really tough times and became very close...we have a lot in common which was always our strongest bond...then about a year ago we seemed to have drifted apart...and it was very subtle...we still talked and everything, but she just seemed to not ask me to spend the amount of time with her as we used to...we had practically done everything together before...then for the last 3 or 4 months now...i just feel she "has it in for me"....again its nothing that's been said...its just a feeling i get when we do talk...which seems to be less and less now...does ANYONE have any suggestions of what might of happened here? | |
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| What happened here??
Posted: 4/2/2006 6:33:31 AM | | Maybe you recently came into something (Eg relationship, money) and she feels jealious? Just a shot in the dark but it's all I can come up with right now. | |
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| What happened here??
Posted: 4/2/2006 6:35:27 AM | Maybe you need to sit down with her and ask her directly what's wrong...maybe she's feeling the same way about you? It could be a total misunderstanding on both your parts, and could easily be solved by talking it out.
The other thing it could be is..maybe her life is taking on a different direction, or she's trying to make some life changes that just don't work within your relationship. I had to do this a long while back...sadly I was heading in a different direction than some of my old friends, and in order to keep moving ahead, I had to break free of those relationships and create new ones. It may sound callous, but sometimes it works out that way, and you have to step outside the box, and make new friends that are better for you.
Good luck to you...I hope you can work it out :) | |
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| What happened here??
Posted: 4/2/2006 6:36:40 AM | hmmm, well the only real solution here is to come out and ask her what the hell is up......why your friendship seems to be fizzling out....instead of guessing about it and stressing out, just ask her.... | |
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| What happened here??
Posted: 4/2/2006 6:49:18 AM | | That is an example of a major difference between men and women. Women will sit and wonder what the problem is, a man will point blank ask. | |
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| What happened here??
Posted: 4/2/2006 6:52:58 AM | I agree with spunglass, just flat out ask her.
If you feel she has it in for you, then thats probably your instints queing you to be careful.
She maybe jealious of you, or she may have heard a rumor from someone else that maybe you don't know about, maybe she found a new friend, there is so many maybes so best way to know is just ask. Good Luck.
Bridgette | |
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| What happened here??
Posted: 4/2/2006 6:54:06 AM | | It could be a number of things. Maybe you are doing something different is your lifestyle that she dos'nt approve of...or it could be it is'nt you at all, she could be going through a bout of depression. No one knows what goes on in someone's head unless you ask | |
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| What happened here??
Posted: 4/2/2006 6:57:36 AM | ^^^"That is an example of a major difference between men and women. Women will sit and wonder what the problem is, a man will point blank ask"
I am still a woman right..yep,,just checked. | |
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| What happened here??
Posted: 4/2/2006 6:57:52 AM | Just a thought but has their been a change in her relationship status? New man maybe? It's hard to say with what limited info you gave. Just an idea. I agree with just asking her!
Luna | |
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| What happened here??
Posted: 4/2/2006 7:44:56 AM | the only way you will ever know for sure is to sit her down and have a talk with her. be specific and be sincere and let her know how the changes in your relationship with her have changed and you are concerned. ask her what it is that you have done or what she may have heard. those are usually the 2 things that would affect your relationship. someone has either said something to her about you or there has been something you've done to upset her or made her jealous of you. good luck. hope things work out. good friendships are hard to come by these days. | |
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| What happened here??
Posted: 4/2/2006 7:48:57 AM | I would set up a get together ..and talk it out..maybe something is going on with her that she can't tell you..or it is just not the right time or place to say anything..
sometimes we all get busy with our own worlds..sometimes we need to explore and cut free the clingyness of a friendship to grow..but the ties and memories are still there..
Just set a "date' and talk ..it may be nothing..and then it may be something..but just let her know you will be there for her no matter what... | |
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| What happened here??
Posted: 4/2/2006 8:21:08 AM | | If you barely talk, for all you know she is wondering the same thing. | |
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| What happened here??
Posted: 4/2/2006 11:10:45 AM | | Sounds like there has been someone talking behind your back, and she belives them. Enough she wont ask you about it. | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 15 | |
| What happened here??
Posted: 4/2/2006 12:19:09 PM | Sounds like something you did really pissed her off ... but she is an introvert and none confrontational ... and expressing herself by being passive aggressive.
Should ask her directly what it was you did that has pissed her off. I am sure, once asked, she'll spill her guts and then you can deal with it. | |
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~iiCe~
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Joined: 7/26/2005
Msg: 16 | |
| What happened here??
Posted: 4/2/2006 1:44:10 PM |
That is an example of a major difference between men and women. Women will sit and wonder what the problem is, a man will point blank ask.
I am right there with you Jim.... I would ask what the deal is... and then move on... I hate games... if someone has a problem with me... then they need to speak up... hate passive aggressive behavior.... | |
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| What happened here??
Posted: 4/2/2006 4:14:59 PM | | All relationships have a shelf life, this one may have just past the "best before date". | |
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| What happened here??
Posted: 4/2/2006 5:01:26 PM |
could you please be more vague
I was trying not to write a whole essay here!!...lol...i gave just the outline and figured i would respond to the questions instead...
The one thing that did change was that i got "separated" from my husband....she went through the stages with me..so it wasn't a sudden thing...she knew it was coming...i also do feel things have changed within her own household...but again we so seldom "really talk" like we used to that i'm not sure what it is...there was a time we both knew each other's household as if it were our own...and yes i guess people could be talking behind my back..i get a lot of that...but years ago i had always told her to be direct with me...i don't take offense easily and to speak her mind..being friends gave her that license with me...our children still do things together...its just her and i that seems to have gone off kilter...I also always felt i could go to her and outright ask her anything...but now i'm not so sure and i'm also not sure why i don't want to ask her...i know she has other friends...but she always did, i was not and did not consider her my friend exclusively...our children are the same ages and are in the same class so their interests are the same which threw us together alot... | |
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| What happened here??
Posted: 4/2/2006 5:48:26 PM | | Wow, the title of this thread is definitely suited to that last post. What was all that ranting about? | |
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| What happened here??
Posted: 4/2/2006 6:09:57 PM | | We can only second guess the cause/ It may be that you are seeing her differently but.....if this is a relationship that was/is important to you, go to the source. Ask her pointedly if she has a problem with you and why she is distancing. | |
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| What happened here??
Posted: 4/2/2006 6:35:15 PM | | You having become seperated might make you a potential threat in her eyes to her husband or boyfriend if she has one. Just a thought | |
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| What happened here??
Posted: 4/2/2006 6:40:30 PM | maybe she caught her husband, umm .. whistling .. to your profile, on PoF? ..  | |
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| What happened here??
Posted: 4/2/2006 7:09:09 PM |
You having become seperated might make you a potential threat in her eyes to her husband or boyfriend if she has one. Just a thought
I had thought of this and as a matter of fact i call and spend LESS time over there than i used to because i didn't want her to see me as a threat of any sort....but we've been friends for SIX years..if i wanted to put the moves on her husband...wouldn't i have done it years ago...same for him...I saw a poster say something about her husband making a comment..and no i doubt very much that he knows i'm on POF...lol...but if he knows anything about my personal business it would have come to her..i never told him anything...
When i asked the question on here...its because i was looking for a neutral party's input..I appreciate the help based on the little information i gave | |
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| What happened here??
Posted: 4/2/2006 7:47:42 PM | Being someone who has been seperated and divorced. It seems that most of your friends will change, you're not the person she used to know and that makes her insecure about the relationship. If your relationship with her was built while you both had husbands...in part atleast, then you can count on this relationship evaporating or at best totally changing.
Just my :two cents: | |
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| What happened here??
Posted: 4/2/2006 8:21:48 PM | | Yes we both had husbands at the time, and as i said our children are both girls and they both happen to be the same ages (one of our "bonds")...yes i'm separated now..and yes we may not be able to enjoy ALL the same things we did before...but does that make me any less of a friend?...do people really throw away friendships like this over reasons like those? I have 2 sisters who are my best friends in my adulthood...she was the first female friend i made as an adult...and this has truly thrown me for a loop...especially if what you are saying is true... | |
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