| POOF! Don't you think people should say goodbye first?
Posted: 4/2/2006 1:10:25 PM | People leave POF as they see fit and that is to be expected.,...hopefully because they have met the person of their dreams and no longer feel a need to be here.
For those that remain here do you feel cheated or used if some of these POF friends leave without saying goodbye?
For some people, for whatever reason, but on our own accord we invest in on-line friendships. I know when people I have some affection for go POOF, I feel cheated
that I didn't have a chance to say goodbye or perhaps arrange another way of keeping
in touch.
I think it is proper manners to say goodbye first
What do other people here think?
Bandito
and yes, I am feeling a bit sad today not that it is the first POOF I have seen here | |
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| POOF! Don't you think people should say goodbye first?
Posted: 4/2/2006 1:21:00 PM | If you become very good friends with someone on-line.I think it would be very considerate of them to let you know that they are leaving pof.I dont think they have to do that ,but it would be very considerate and polite if they did,and that they wish you well with your efforts to find someone also.Good luck Bandito.... | |
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| POOF! Don't you think people should say goodbye first?
Posted: 4/2/2006 1:22:33 PM | | i actually think it is weird when people make a big deal of leaving and actually post it in a forum .. but that is just me.. i think of chatting as entertainment for the most part.. if i actually thought of someone as more than that i would have given them my regular email address or my phone number | |
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| POOF! Don't you think people should say goodbye first?
Posted: 4/2/2006 1:36:17 PM | if i left ..i would just go..i dont get personal with anyone online...or message anyone...an for those on my friends list..will be notified. as for others...was nice to have known u all.... been a slice..an fun. | |
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| POOF! Don't you think people should say goodbye first?
Posted: 4/2/2006 1:43:56 PM | ya the poof thing is lame
BUT
what I think is more lame
is the people that do the 2 week countdown to leaving
make a BIG DEAL in the threads about leaving/have goodbye threads
leave for 4 days.........................and comeback | |
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| POOF! Don't you think people should say goodbye first?
Posted: 4/2/2006 1:45:27 PM | | i would have thought it courteous to tell friends and acquaintances you were leaving but also agree that if you had made that connection with somebody on here that you would have some other way of contacting each other apart from pof. if not then maybe one of you is seeing the relationship/friendship whatever as more important than the other. if you have given another point of contact then be patient, they may well get in touch that way. good luck | |
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| POOF! Don't you think people should say goodbye first?
Posted: 4/2/2006 3:52:00 PM | Dear Bandito
That is the nature of this site, there are "plently of fish in the sea," so even though we personally connect with someone we meet on here and feel a chemistry bond, friendship if you will.Maybe they did not, Do not feel hurt or take this too personally ok?
I have met, and exchanged email with many many lovely folks on this site,some not so lovely or nice in the end lol..But I am here and staying till I meet that special man of my dreams.
I hope you have a great week coming..Hugs The SwampprincessGin  | |
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| POOF! Don't you think people should say goodbye first?
Posted: 4/2/2006 3:53:10 PM | yeah I agree, the poof part drives me crazy, like when threads poof and disappear. And sometimes you don't know who to ask to find out if they are gone.
well bandito I see a few are telling you good luck, you are not leaving are you?? | |
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| POOF! Don't you think people should say goodbye first?
Posted: 4/2/2006 5:51:18 PM | I've seen my share of Pofer POOFs and almost as many comebacks. I'll give it some more time and I bet the ratio returns to 1:1  . Could be why they don't say goodbye... sometimes they're not really gone.  | |
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| POOF! Don't you think people should say goodbye first?
Posted: 4/3/2006 7:14:17 AM | Update Well it appears that my faith in people in this case was right
The latest person to go POOF came back after realizing she didn't have my offline e-mail address to give me her address
@swampprincessgin, although I didn't take it personally, you can't help feel jipped when people leave like that, afterall you have given of yourself even in a mionor way.
@look in, I am not leaving right now but I do plan to take a sabatical from POF over the summer. Anyone having me on their fav list or on my fav list will get my MSN address so I won't be going POOF.
I agree with the general sentiments, not to be hurt or surprised, this is on-line afterall and people remain here until they are successful in finding a suitable match. I just think their is this implicit responsibility to close off friendships if you are no longer able to keep them. In this case my friend did return to carry our friendship on, but others haven't and I can't keep thinking how wrong that is.
I have learned to never take anything personal when it comes to on-line. It is what it is, some virtual abstraction of millions of peoples lives.
Thank you all for your input and goodwill
Bandito | |
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| POOF! Don't you think people should say goodbye first?
Posted: 4/3/2006 7:28:10 AM | ~Poof~ = plenty of OTHER fish
Glad your friend came back Frito Bandito, but the concept of this thread is legit. When you make friends and they disapear without a trace, these is a natural tendancy to think, your effort didn't mean anything. I often think, their loss Frankly, no different than in the "real"
Moral of the thread. If you think enough of someone to be their friend, give them a way to be one
Peace out,, | |
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| POOF! Don't you think people should say goodbye first?
Posted: 4/3/2006 8:18:59 AM | Querido Bandito,
I think that maybe the definition of friend, and the extent to which a friendship has evolved from merely "virtual" to real differs by individual. In most cases the close friendships I've developed through PoF have already migrated to email, phone, IM ... in fact I don't use PoF to stay in touch with my friends from here at all (with a couple of exceptions). But either way, yes, if I left here tomorrow I'd be taking all my friends with me.
But this is a fairly volatile environment. People might often leave suddenly in despair or frustration, or because they met someone. For some, it may the case that maintaining PoF relationships is a little like clinging to the trappings of being single. Like they're not really making a commitment to leave the dating game for real.
And a lot of people have difficulty maintaining friendships with their single friends, once they become coupled up. I've seen that sudden we-they dynamic unfold a few times. | |
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| POOF! Don't you think people should say goodbye first?
Posted: 4/3/2006 8:40:32 AM | I think it depends on the relationship they had with each person. I only said good-bye to those who I talked a lot to. And those I could find their accounts. Sorry Alex I had every intention of saying good-bye to you.
For those I may have missed I am truly sorry. And I will have to apologize by some other means if they are there. | |
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| POOF! Don't you think people should say goodbye first?
Posted: 4/3/2006 12:56:46 PM | ^^^Thank you Becky and MyIsland, I think of you both as great friends and I look forward to meeting you in RL sometime in the near future
I agree that closer and local friends naturally gravitate to knowing their e-mail addresses and phone numbers. I guess for long distance friends I am less deliberate about knowing e-mail addresses...I just go with the flow and find whatever works being fine.
It is very much an indivual experience here. In some ways that should make us try harder to make sure we act responsibly to keep the level of quality and integrity high. I don't buy into a practice that it is only on-line, not the real world so I choose to act less responsibly. I do agree though it is easy to make many aquaintances on-line that you would not normally call friends. Aquaintances are only that...some passing connection.
Great posts, than you all very much
Bandito | |
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| POOF! Don't you think people should say goodbye first?
Posted: 4/3/2006 8:01:11 PM |
For those that remain here do you feel cheated or used if some of these POF friends leave without saying goodbye?
Yes espeically if it is someone that you run into the forums from time to time. Strange to say this but you do get an emotional connection to them.
I think it is proper manners to say goodbye first
Think it is nice when someone posts a farewell in the forums to let their friends say good-bye. Yes, it is bad manners not to say good-bye first. Enjoy it when a friend you have met off POF lets you know if you will be away for a while. | |
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