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Posted: 4/3/2006 2:46:17 PM | Hoping to get a response...
September 1, 2005 was the day that totally changed my life... It was the day he called me at work and told me that it wasnt working out... After 4 yrs. He told me he wanted a girl more like him...I cried, I begged him not to leave me. Little did I know he was leaving me for someone else. 2 weeks later, i seen them both in the bar, he was holding her, kissing her, the way he had loved me... I almost fainted. How could he hurt me? Like we never loved at all... So now it has been 7 months, He calls me... showed up on my door step a few times, we fooled around for about a month... left me again... I don't understand...Is it me? Will i ever find love? | |
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Posted: 4/3/2006 2:49:10 PM | | KICK HIM TO THE CURB, LET HIM KNOW HE CANT HAVE YOU ANYMORE | |
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Posted: 4/3/2006 2:52:04 PM | Wow... don't let him do that again...
you are in pain and need to mourn the death of what you thought you had.
he is a jerk azzhole for doing it over the phone
and for coming round for sex after the other fling screwed up.
Leave a message on his machine to never call you again
and never come around to your door or you will get a restraining order.
Oh... and yes you will find love again...
it may take some time but if you don't look you will be surprised with it one day.
get into doing some things you always wanted to do
but couldn't because you were attached. | |
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Posted: 4/3/2006 2:54:15 PM | Well said, jadenstar...well said !!!
Mad | |
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Posted: 4/3/2006 2:55:18 PM | | Remember your title - hurt . Obviously it meant more to you than him but it wasn't love . You will find love if you are willing to work toward it mentally as well as the natural physical thing . Learn from the past bad things , set standards for what YOU really want and stick to that outlook . You don't look like finding someone is difficult , it's the right one that you need . Turn the page , good luck . | |
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Posted: 4/3/2006 3:15:25 PM | jersey1......
Probably my first post didn't do much to help. You asked 2 questions: is it me??, and, will I ever find love??
OK, so you tried to be available and parhaps patch things up, but he left you a second time...
so, to answer your question, (is it me?), only if you allow that to ever happen again...
Will you ever find love again?? My friend, you need to go through the grieving process first
and allow yourself time to heal, or it is a very big possibility that you will take out your rage
on the next guy that comes along. None of us means to to that, its just the way it happens.
Mad | |
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Posted: 4/3/2006 3:25:16 PM |
i seen them both in the bar, he was holding her, kissing her, the way he had loved me I almost fainted. How could he hurt me? Like we never loved at all... So now it has been 7 months, He calls me... showed up on my door step a few times, we fooled around for about a month... left me again
After seeing him at a bar kissing another woman, after almost fainting, after feeling like there was never any love at all, you still fooled around with him for a month?????
I hate to be rude, but you should look the word "respect" up in the dictionary as you obviously do not have it for yourself.....
Sorry, I know this is hard, but I would have never, ever, ever even think about someone that does something like that to me....Dignity should always be wired into your brain. | |
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Posted: 4/3/2006 4:14:08 PM |
Hoping to get a response...
September 1, 2005 was the day that totally changed my life... It was the day he called me at work and told me that it wasnt working out... After 4 yrs. He told me he wanted a girl more like him...I cried, I begged him not to leave me. Little did I know he was leaving me for someone else. 2 weeks later, i seen them both in the bar, he was holding her, kissing her, the way he had loved me... I almost fainted. How could he hurt me? Like we never loved at all... So now it has been 7 months, He calls me... showed up on my door step a few times, we fooled around for about a month... left me again... I don't understand...Is it me? Will i ever find love?
Not cool... You're being used, ya know... He's just keeping you on the backburner if something's to happen to the "other" girl that he's getting down with.
Kick him to the curb, and find yourself a stand up gentalman.
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Posted: 4/3/2006 4:27:18 PM | | Why do people do this to themselves?? Seriously, if you ever want to heal and move on, don't be available to him for anything, most of all sex! | |
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Posted: 4/4/2006 2:32:12 AM | | after reading your profile and attempting to get a bit of a feel of the type of person you are, let me say this....do you want to be with this guy at all?....i didnt see in your profile that you liked liars, cheaters, headgames, or rubber band males......If you state that is not what you want in your profile then why even bother with this creep who wants his jerseycake and something on the side as well.....you are an attractive, beautiful woman, who any decent guy would want to be with...leave that sucker alone, find someone else and if you and your new beau see him on the street, dont say a word ...he will see the look on the new guys face and suddenly realize what he missed out on..... | |
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Posted: 4/5/2006 2:51:32 AM | Jersey,
Two things I would like to tell you.
1. Unless you engage your willpower and say and be firmly *NO* to any of his apperances on your doorstep and cotton wool / sweet talk...you'll be trapped for good.
2. Glad to hear that you go out too (I only hope that the bar you went to is not the place he usually goes). Dont dwell on the past, leave it there and live your life for the future. Surely you have some friends ...in need...who are friends...indeed.
All the best,
buzz | |
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Posted: 4/5/2006 8:54:45 AM | did the month-long X sex occur BEFORE or AFTER you saw X all over another chick at the bar? if AFTER, guess why you hurt? it's not him, it's you. don't let yourself get in that state. if you reconcile, that's one thing. but if you reconcile and he can see whoever and you witness that whatever, get reconciliation out of your mind.
often love stinks (i think there's a song written about that). my heart has been broken in four relationships. eventually you get past the hurt, that's the good thing, only if you learn from your hurt what not to do in the future. good luck jersey! | |
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Posted: 4/5/2006 11:32:00 AM | you had to know this was on the horizon some small feeling that things were not right with your world. to not talk about feelings and ask questions when together is not nurtureing the relationship and find common ground always! sad to say it willi never be as it was again.........ask what you can do top make the next one better for you and for the relationship....... discover things you can improve on, things you might allow yourself to leave behind, things that dont serve you well..... i am not saying its all your fault...... its just that you are the only one you can grow and change for the better................................................. he is out of reach for anyone but himself.
....................change, grow, love yourself, breathe, find joy in the small details, rest, rebuild,smile, brodacast your signal wide deep and loud, someone will notice, tune in and triangulate and will just be in your path one day.... prepare yourself to be ready and accept it when it comes......................then value it for what it is a guift of honor respect admiration and love, two halves making a whole world together..................................kenny m. | |
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Posted: 4/5/2006 12:33:55 PM | I am new to this site, so bare with me...
I just wanted to thank you to everyone for their comments. I just need to give my head a shake... The hardest thing is letting go, and accepting that it is OVER!!! And that I can't go back......I believe that some day he'll realize, but than it will be to late... So if you still want to comment, have at er... | |
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Posted: 4/5/2006 1:17:07 PM | Just be careful next time. Love is not something that you cant hand just to anyone...
It is deserved and you owe it to yourself to be respected.... | |
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Posted: 4/5/2006 1:34:44 PM | How did he hurt you again? You let him.
You didn't completely heal from being dumped the first time. Please do read my thread on second chances. In almost every case the main reason a second chance doesn't work is because either a) You didn't let go, heal and move on or b) You tried too soon.
In this case, you let him right back into your life like nothing happened. You even admit to "fooling around." If you had boundaries you wouldn't have let this happen to you. I'm not saying it's your fault, because I have been in your shoes as well. I've learned the hard way.
It's not that you will never be loved, it's that you haven't dedicated yourself to healing, to not "needing" someone, to have boundaries and to learn to make yourself happy first. Once you do those things you will find yourself attracting men that are much, much better for you.
It all starts and ends with you. People don't hurt us alone. We LET them hurt us. | |
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Posted: 4/5/2006 2:42:49 PM | | JERSEY,yep, I was married 13 years, and he left me for his best friends wife, my x and her are now married to each other. It is hard to see the x with someone else, but as time passes, I get over it.you will also.It might not work out with her anyway, you never know what is in the future. pj | |
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Posted: 4/5/2006 3:07:02 PM | | You're right. Dignity is important. Don't EVER give that up! | |
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Posted: 11/16/2006 8:50:21 AM | | My wife of 31 years died And I'm still mad at her. And it has been four years since she's been gone. Time passes and you learn to live with these things they don't go away | |
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Posted: 11/16/2006 9:04:57 AM | Wow ... that is a classic feeling ... are you mad at her because she died or for something else ... or .... are you really mad at yourself for letting her die .... or mad at God for taking her?
Its a deep rooted idea that does linger but I believe you need to resolve the truth of it.
RIP ... has a real meaning ... and its more for the living than the dead.
for them to Rest In Peace ... you must make peace with their death as well as their life.
good luck and i hope you turn the mad into love. | |
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