Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > dating a woman whos a had weight loss surgery????      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 ragergirl
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 1
dating a woman whos a had weight loss surgery????Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Would you have a problem dating a girl if you knew she had a weight loss surgery??? I know some guys wouldn't date an overweight girl but what if she was loosing the weight ?? Or would a guy not date a girl because of this??
 outonalimb
Joined: 4/8/2006
Msg: 2
dating a woman whos a had weight loss surgery????
Posted: 4/12/2006 5:51:28 PM
yep foo sure,she just bettering herself , self confidence and being heathly and happy is better than a boyfriend is anyway, well that my 2 cents for the week
 best kept secret
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 3
dating a woman whos a had weight loss surgery????
Posted: 4/12/2006 6:05:50 PM
They would be on a great journey and happy when they start seeing changes...
You would be around a happy person! (as long as they don't talk about diet all the time.)
If they just excepted it as a life style change - - - - Good times!
 graci4luv
Joined: 11/1/2005
Msg: 4
view profile
History
dating a woman whos a had weight loss surgery????
Posted: 4/12/2006 6:06:49 PM
personal experience. I met a guy who lost his wife from complications of surgery. I don't broadcast my surgery, so after several emails/phone conversations we agreed to meet. It was during our first meeting he mentioned his wifes death and that he'd never date anyone who had done the surgery. I hesitantly pulled out my "former" picture, and told him I'd had surgery. He was quite surprised....and wasn't sure if he'd have "been interested" in the "former" person.

My personal thought is that if a guy can't accept me for who I am on the inside...he's not worthy! I've also had guys who knew me before surgery ask me to go out. I will not - I feel I'm the same person...just smaller, and still working to reach my goal.
 stubobb
Joined: 1/24/2005
Msg: 5
dating a woman whos a had weight loss surgery????
Posted: 4/12/2006 6:24:12 PM
What kind of surgery are we talking about here?

Umm...I don't mean to piss folks off but I probably will...

It depends...
If she's got to do the 'chew it and spit it in a cup' thing, then no.
There can't be any problems with eating. She must be able, like me, to get an acceptable meal ANYWHERE. So I guess vegetarians are out too, LOL!

She must be able to take part in the occasional cooking orgy. Y'know, where you team up to cook a really awesome, over-the-top meal, nibbling and drinking and fooling around the whole time, then sit and enjoy the results.

A stapled nibbler most probably won't fit into that sort of foreplay very well.

Just being honest.
 mcbobly
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 6
view profile
History
dating a woman whos a had weight loss surgery????
Posted: 4/12/2006 6:34:55 PM
I would have no problem dating her, the question is whether or not she would have a problem dating me since she was once in the same position I am in now, being a bigger person.
 jeweelee
Joined: 3/19/2006
Msg: 7
view profile
History
dating a woman whos a had weight loss surgery????
Posted: 4/12/2006 6:35:38 PM
Graci4luv-I lost 35 lbs last year, got me some new clothes, new hair cut, I started feeling really good about myself. I got hooked up in February this year, and had the lapband surgery done, lost 17 more lbs since then (picture is before any weight loss couple years ago). I really am liking this.. I will tell you from someone who dated~ maybe once every two years... there are a couple of guys I might go out with that have known me before hand, becasue they liked me enough to hang out with me before. But you are right for the most part, guys don't see the "real you" because they are to busy looking for the "Barbie". I can't say why I haven't dated much other then I believe the guy needs to ask the girl(old fashioned) and they just haven't asked. But who knows, maybe they still won't after I shed all of this in a year. But I'll be healthier, and more confident of my self and the way I carry myself. To heck with those that don't like it! they didn't like me before..they didn't have to look, they don't like me after...they still don't have to look!
But don't you find it funny that guys will only date certain looking girls, then they fall in love with them, then the lady gains all of this weight, and the guy doesn't mind....if they only knew...
 ragergirl
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 8
dating a woman whos a had weight loss surgery????
Posted: 4/12/2006 9:25:15 PM
I know for myself I haven't had problems with guys interested, but I like to be honest and tell right away that I have "JUNK IN MY TRUNK" and I just had the Lap band surgery a week ago and have lost some weight and I wonder if I should even tell at all and if it does change their opinion on me
 Just_Jay79
Joined: 10/11/2005
Msg: 9
dating a woman whos a had weight loss surgery????
Posted: 4/13/2006 7:42:02 AM
Not to be a sh*t-disturber, but may I ask the people who've had this surgery one question?

"Why did you have to resort to surgery to lose the weight?"

I'm simply curious as to whether your weight problems were glandular in nature, or you just never made vigorous exercise a routine in your lives and took the easier way out. Dieting is fine and good, but serves more to curtail additional weight than removing the weight you've already put on... Only good old-fashioned sweaty exertion does that (or metabolic drugs, or in your case, cosmetic surgery)

One of you posted you now feel healthier, but I think you mean to say thinner, and perhaps healthier in an emotional context. If cardio-vascular and some muscular exercise is not part of your life, you are simply thin, not HEALTHY (a thin person panting to death to climb a flight of stairs is an even sadder sight than a heavy person in my eyes... )

No direct offense at any of you ladies intended, I'm simply curious as to your reasons for resorting to surgery as your ultimate weight loss method... Not to worry, a growing portion of North American society shares that mentality...

Oh to be on topic, the answer to the question I posed above is the same one I would direct to a woman I was dating if she mentioned having this surgery. Depending on her answer (genetic or sloth), I might stick around, or simply walk out the door...
 ragergirl
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 10
dating a woman whos a had weight loss surgery????
Posted: 4/13/2006 7:55:17 AM
Well I can't answer for everyone else but I can understand why you would think the way you do..... and for me Ive been heavy ALL my life and I have genes that are bad. I have health problems and this was the way to be HEALTHIER for me and without going into my whole life I needed to have the surgery not to be skinny... cause I was well under 200 when I had it done, mine was stricktly for medical reasons. Just so you know wls is not a cosmetic surgery by any means and you have to have major cardio introduced along with it or it will not work. I have exercised my ass off since before I was a teenager its in my genes to be this size, this is a tool to use to acheive my goal weight not a miracle cure and I will be doing major exercising to get where I need to be but some of us need to be smaller to do that cardio in the first place. So you take it how you want to thats why I would contemplate telling a guy so soon, maybe once you cared for the person it wouldnt matter
 Just_Jay79
Joined: 10/11/2005
Msg: 11
dating a woman whos a had weight loss surgery????
Posted: 4/13/2006 9:28:25 AM
Well you learn something new every day, so thanks to this thread I decided to do a little Googling... Wound up with the Lap-band surgery website

Call me a little naive, but after reading the procedure it seems that the ultimate goal is the insertion of a pinching band that creates a small pocket stomach, thus reducing overall stomach capacity and also extending the feeling of fullness.

This surgery may not be described as cosmetic (they certainly do stress the goal is to help obese people make a longterm commitment to regaining a healthy body mass index), but it is indeed elective. They do mention this commitment on their FAQ page which I found enlightening:

Q.25 Can I expect to gain weight after several years even with the LAP-BAND?
A. The weight loss process is long and arduous, and only by rigorously following new dietary habits, and exercising regularly, will keep the weight off. If you are ready to make this commitment for yourself, the LAP-BAND can offer a way to shed that weight and get back to living a long and healthy life.


So I submit to all that this procedure is simply a weight loss aid for those in need of extreme intervention, but it still leaves me wondering why some people allowed themselves to get to this point in the first place... I've known some people that simply followed the "rigorously following new dietary habits and exercising regularly" bit and achieved the results they wanted without tying off their stomachs...

Oh well, at least I've learned something new, and I thank the OP for that. Best of luck with your new man, and your new lifestyle goals
 goldstrikn
Joined: 2/13/2006
Msg: 12
view profile
History
dating a woman whos a had weight loss surgery????
Posted: 4/13/2006 10:06:48 AM
I want to post my comment, and hope nobody takes it the wrong way. I would like to sum up the problem; "Your eating habits". People are not born with a fat gene, I don't think there is enough medical reference to support this idea, though there are a few Dr's that claim it, it is not widely accepted. One thing for sure is that we need food to live, that's a fact. It is not like quitting smoking, or stop drinking alcohol, you can live without those, but food you must consume to live. The choices you make for food are vital to your health. People that are obese (over 40lbs.of fat overweight) are not all to blame as far as eating habits are concerned. Parents play a huge role in these unhealthy patterns, for example; some parents make you eat the whole plate, although you are full eating some, others reward you with food, some comfort you with food, and these are terrible habits to show your children.

Food is only part of the equation, EXERCISE is a must to keep yourself healthy overall. Obesity doesn't happen overnight, it takes a lot of unhealthy nutrition and bad choices, some overeat due to stress, others due to indulgence and can't stop, either way it is a problem that one must recognize and do something about it. Hope everybody sees themselves in the mirror and think "do I look healthy"?

My .02 cents
 ragergirl
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 13
dating a woman whos a had weight loss surgery????
Posted: 4/13/2006 1:42:54 PM
see totally off track and feel like you guys are judging, it's not like I or the girls that have had it done are morons and by all means I know what went wrong with my life, this isnt about judging me and asking why I did what I did, basically I asked if you would date a woman that had it done. I don't need the knowledge about being obese I think that I'm fully knowlegable about the topic it wasnt a rash desicsion and I had been doing all the things I should for the last 7 years I weigh 166 right now it wasnt about being obese that I did it and that shouldnt matter unless you wanted to really know me, I just wanted to know if guys would accept it or judge it.... but sounds like judging is what I would get
 goldstrikn
Joined: 2/13/2006
Msg: 14
view profile
History
dating a woman whos a had weight loss surgery????
Posted: 4/13/2006 2:27:39 PM
Well, I made a comment but not make an example of you. My comments were general non-gender specific. My intention was not to point out your shortcomings (if you feel that you do/did). But to answer your question directly, I would date a woman who had a weight los surgery, sure why not? I wouldn't care what she did to get herself fit and healthy, if it took surgery good for her. Not sure what you really wanted to point out starting this thread.
 ragergirl
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 15
dating a woman whos a had weight loss surgery????
Posted: 4/13/2006 2:43:45 PM
Would you have a problem dating a girl if you knew she had a weight loss surgery??? I know some guys wouldn't date an overweight girl but what if she was loosing the weight ?? Or would a guy not date a girl because of this??

Exactly what I asked I just wanted to get feed back and I know you weren't directly saying that stuff using me as an example but other people might see it as you were, and I just to see if most guys would be cool with it or not and at least it I got some guys opinions thats all I wanted to find out. Thanks
 docholiday740
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 16
dating a woman whos a had weight loss surgery????
Posted: 4/13/2006 10:47:58 PM
That's silly to me. I dated a girl a while back who had the gastric bypass thing and loved her for how she treated me. Period. I didn't even know she had the surgery til she told me just before we had sex the first time, which was NOT the first night, but the way. As it turns out, the girl I am in love with now had it too. I could care less. If someone is so shallow that this will be an issue for them, they almost deserve a dumb swimsuit model. Give ita couple years when her body starts to decline and she's still shallow and dumb. Then ask me who's happier!! My girl is gorgeous and treats me pretty freakin good. What more could I POSSIBLY ask for?
 ragergirl
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 17
dating a woman whos a had weight loss surgery????
Posted: 4/15/2006 11:31:57 AM
SO your girl did wait awhile until you got to know her first?? that was what I was wanting to know should I wait until I want to let him know or should I say first date about it? I likeyour attitude about it though
 ShadowKnight59
Joined: 9/18/2005
Msg: 18
view profile
History
dating a woman whos a had weight loss surgery????
Posted: 4/15/2006 12:08:20 PM
My take on it is whether or not you are working on getting healthy. If you are then great and let's go out.

If not and you are just wallowing in self pity about how fat you are while sitting on the couch eating ice cream by the gallon...well no thanks.

Surgery smurgery...who cares. That doesn't define who you are....you do. I see it as you taking charge of your life and doing what is needed to get healthy. Good for you.

Too bad your so far from here.

Kevin
 Aurora73
Joined: 3/25/2006
Msg: 19
dating a woman whos a had weight loss surgery????
Posted: 4/15/2006 12:23:15 PM
OP, I'd wait a few dates. It's not obvious from the outside and it really only matters to the guy if you have to do things that make it obvious -- taking meds so often, no green vegetables, or some stuff like that. As far as I can tell, your surgery doesn't do that, so he doesn't need to know. When you get to know someone, that's when the details come out anyways, not on the first date.

Would I date someone who had this surgery? Yes. If I found out that she had surgery as a *first resort*, though, I would stop dating her.

~Aurora
 tralala
Joined: 1/3/2004
Msg: 20
view profile
History
dating a woman whos a had weight loss surgery????
Posted: 4/15/2006 12:37:28 PM
I think your absolutely WONDERFUL !!!

it's all about doing it for you and you are.
All i can say is.... YEAH, RAH, RAH, CHEER to you.
 graci4luv
Joined: 11/1/2005
Msg: 21
view profile
History
dating a woman whos a had weight loss surgery????
Posted: 4/16/2006 5:49:19 PM
I must comment a little. Lap band is only one of the many wls procedures. My surgery was gastric bypass, which involves the reduction of stomach size as well as the intestinal tract being shortened. This procedure or any wls for that matter, is not a cure all! They are all just tools which allow some people to reach a healthy goal. The gastric bypass means there is less consumption because of a fuller feeling sooner (average stomach is fist size, after surgery is only walnut size), also, there is less absorbtion of nutrients, which is the reason that throughout life after surgery there are required vitamins, etc, as malnutrition can occur if a proper diet is not followed. Goals are met with a balance of diet and exercise. Weight can be regained, due to poor discipline, lack of exercise, or improper dietary requirements.

I chose to have the surgery after years of yo-yo weight gain & loss problems, because I'd become unable to do the same levels of exercise after falling off a deck receiving back and leg injuries. This surgery has made it possible for me to begin having a more active life again with a great reduction in the pain experienced in the past. Although I've not yet hit my goal, I will, and while my loss has been slower than some, I've not gained any of my weight back since surgery.
 jeweelee
Joined: 3/19/2006
Msg: 22
view profile
History
dating a woman whos a had weight loss surgery????
Posted: 4/16/2006 7:07:57 PM
I wrote earlier and may have started a conflict too. I said that I was feeling healthier- not thinner. That will come in time, and when you've always been bigger then the rest, and you get smaller you will always think of yourself as bigger-not thinner(side note there) . Since loosing alot of weight, I have felt healthier. I excercise on regular basis. and the lap-band is just a tool to help you get on track with correct foods, and vitamins and exercise. It is not a cure all. My health in general, sleeping trouble and even painting my toenails is soo much easier. But the questions I believe was would a guy date a girl/lady whom he knew had the surgery. I think another thing would be...guys don't date larger women, so until they loose the weight(however), who knows? Can someone help with that one?
 Some_Honest_thoughts
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 23
view profile
History
dating a woman whos a had weight loss surgery????
Posted: 4/16/2006 7:54:23 PM
I wouldn't and here's why:

When the girl gets down to what she thinks is her ideal weight, she's most likely going to discard you because, and particularly if she's cute and likes to show off her cleavage like you do, there will be all sorts of heaps of new attention from men who were previously unavailable to her. I don't care if the girl in question swore the whole time she was still heavy up and down that I was her soulmate, and cut off her ear like Van Gogh to prove it, that's all going to be forgotten when the butterfly comes out of the cocoon.

Absolutely not.

No.

-Greg
 SavageBeauty
Joined: 4/15/2006
Msg: 24
dating a woman whos a had weight loss surgery????
Posted: 4/16/2006 8:03:12 PM

When the girl gets down to what she thinks is her ideal weight, she's most likely going to discard you because, and particularly if she's cute and likes to show off her cleavage like you do, there will be all sorts of heaps of new attention from men who were previously unavailable to her. I don't care if the girl in question swore the whole time she was still heavy up and down that I was her soulmate, and cut off her ear like Van Gogh to prove it, that's all going to be forgotten when the butterfly comes out of the cocoon.
Generalize, much?
 luvminstrels
Joined: 2/22/2006
Msg: 25
dating a woman whos a had weight loss surgery????
Posted: 4/16/2006 8:11:52 PM
@ stubobb -- I realize this is slightly offtopic, but: VEGETARIANS????

What's wrong with us??? We get along with the general public OK, and don't make bad dates (unless you take me to a steak house and order me a steak, rare, and try to make me eat it, and then I get a little testy -- and I've only been thrown out of a FEW places -- but that's beside the point...)

Don't group us in like that -- we're really not a bad lot, and we can get along in most any place!! Just give us a potato and a salad, and we don't complain that much!

(That was a nice picture you painted, though -- all cooking and drinking and such in the kitchen together. Why couldn't it be lentils and beans, and just not Daisy the Cow???)

Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > dating a woman whos a had weight loss surgery????