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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > How do you know if your being used?      Home login  
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 cutiepokerplayer
Joined: 9/27/2005
Msg: 1
How do you know if your being used?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I find it so confusing. I met guys from dating sites and I never seem to understand waht there looking for. They say they are looking for a relationship or dating but than it seems thats they want is sex. How do u know what they really want and what there intentions are? How far should you go on a first date? If you don't put out than your considered a tease and if you do put out than ur considered a slut. So what do guys want and how do you keep them coming back for more? I'm looking for something long term and lately thats all i have being mean are people that just come around for a good time.. why are they on personal sites if thats what they are looking for?
please help!!
thanks, rissa
 gjwthf
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 2
How do you know if your being used?
Posted: 4/12/2006 10:48:44 PM
hey chat first you can tell in no time what they want as far as the first date if you have chatted with them you should have a good idea before you met him and hey if it feels good go for it life is too short
 goulais
Joined: 1/13/2006
Msg: 3
How do you know if your being used?
Posted: 4/12/2006 10:51:30 PM
Problem is most of the time you dont know that you're being used until they say....... "I'm just not sure what I want right now"! Damned if you do, damned if you dont. Oh well, look at it this way, its their loss, maybe we should start using them.
 flippie
Joined: 2/18/2006
Msg: 4
How do you know if your being used?
Posted: 4/12/2006 11:06:21 PM
You have to remember guys think about sex every 6 seconds or so (something like that). Most are going to try to "get" with you, even if they know it's wrong...their d*ck does the thinking, even if they want to be respectable, their d*ick over powers them. This is where your instincts come in to play..I say, who gives a shyt what THEY think and worry about yourself and your own values.
 867love
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 5
How do you know if your being used?
Posted: 4/12/2006 11:14:30 PM
what should you be doing on the first date: getting to know them, (save the heavy petting for the later dates) -lol. if you like them, hold out for a while. if they drop you like a hot potato -they wern't worth getting to know anyway. if they are calling you a tease because your not putting out after the first few dates. hell with them you can do better. if a "nice guy" is pressing you for sex on the first date. and you tell him no -he should respect you and cool it at least for a few dates. i would recommend this for everyone -but i dont of know any males that would turn down free nooky.
 barnlovesbeer
Joined: 3/25/2006
Msg: 6
How do you know if your being used?
Posted: 4/12/2006 11:16:14 PM
Hi, Friends call me Barney but anyway Hmm OK well I don't know if this will Help you but I'll tell you what Happened to me about too Day's ago OK So here we go I met 2 Women on here and we met and there friends of course we went out together for Coffee and a Drive well I ended up over at one of the Girls house And I just didn't want to be there in the first place but we talk for awhile and watched T.V she really wanted me to stay alot longer but I felt something wasn't right about the whole thing So she got her friend to come and get me to take me back where I met them but she wanted to go for a Coffee so I said sure what the Hell right but she was telling me how she wanted a man and what ever I listened to what she was saying and I wanted the same things we just clicked well we ended back at her place and Talk for hours together it was great I really never thought I could find someone that has the same interestes as I and Well right there I fell for her hard oh God did I ever witch was a mistake a Big one But I didn't find out later thoe We ended being together for to weeks Dateing going out It was so overwhelming for me I just lost myself with her but little did I know she wanted my Bother along She told me she would never lie to me or use me but she had me fooled When I found out about what she had planned I was really Hurt,Crushed Pissed off but there was nothing I could do so I just wouldn't talk to her anymore She called me Day,night sent me E-mails and everything else but I just couldn't believe all this was happening I really thought I had my Soulmate! But I guess I was wrong I also found out she was a Player Oh well anyway I can say this Don't judge a Book by it's Cover No matter how good it is!! I know Please take care of yourself Bye for now Hope to hear from you!
 MisterEd67
Joined: 3/29/2006
Msg: 7
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How do you know if your being used?
Posted: 4/13/2006 6:20:17 AM
You should just take things slowly. I know this is really extreme, but my last g/f and I didn't even have a heavy make-out session until we'd been dating for six weeks. If a guy is seriously interested in you, he'll hang around. If he's just trying to see what he can get, he probably won't want to spend that much time. Good luck to you.
 betterthanyourex.
Joined: 12/23/2005
Msg: 8
How do you know if your being used?
Posted: 4/13/2006 6:22:50 AM
^^^^ @ Barney... (Just beating Carrie to it) Um, punctuation? My eyes hurt from that...I want to respond to OP but brain is too sore....would love to offer my thoughts otherwise.

BTYX
(creeping away to find some paragraphs)
 Winter Sparkle
Joined: 4/8/2006
Msg: 9
How do you know if your being used?
Posted: 4/13/2006 6:38:45 AM
When he only calls you late at night and wants to get naked.
 R M
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 10
How do you know if your being used?
Posted: 4/13/2006 6:49:14 AM
Dear Rissa,I don't think it is about what men want from you on the date,It is all about what you want from the date..Does it really matter if they want sex or not?
Make yourself clear on that with the date before you even plan on one.We know ,men want sex at all the time..Do you want to give in?It is up to you now.
 nosoup4u
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 11
How do you know if your being used?
Posted: 4/13/2006 6:53:29 AM

I don't think it is about what men want from you on the date,It is all about what you want from the date..


Absolutely right. And if they seem to have another agenda then all you have to do is say "see ya".

Perhaps try the chat thing on the comp for a while before you venture into public with them. This could give you a better insight into where there heads at, the one on top of their neck of course.
 gemnest
Joined: 5/16/2005
Msg: 12
How do you know if your being used?
Posted: 4/13/2006 8:32:17 AM
By what you will tolerate and won't tolerate . I the ground rules are set at the get go then they should be adhered to. If they are not and you have silent expectaions then quit whinning I have been used and its not a good feeling but I never used no one to get even . I always try to leave a freindship with more going into it then I take out . Freinds are like great books to be be put up after each use not to lay around and look for later
 southernbellenga
Joined: 4/5/2006
Msg: 13
How do you know if your being used?
Posted: 4/13/2006 4:17:08 PM
HERES SOME SIGNS THAT YOU ARE BEING USED.....

1. HE CALLS YOU AT A CERTAIN TIME OF THE DAY..AND CANT TALK ANYMORE TIL THE NEXT DAY...IMAGINE THAT....

2. HE NEVER LETS YOU MEET HIS CHILDREN...

3. YOU ARE NEVER INVITED TO HIS HOME...

4..HE CALLS YOU AND WANTS TO TALK AND WHEN YOU CALL HES ALWAYS GOTTA GO ..ALWAYS TOO BUSY....

5..HE SAYS HE DONT HAVE A GIRLFRIEND BUT YOU CAN NEVER GET THROUGH WHEN YOU CALL HIM...

6.HE NEVER WANTS TO MEET YOUT CHILDREN ..ITS ALL ABOUT YOU....

7..HE NEVER ASKS YOU HOW YOUR CHILDREN ARE DOING...OR YOUR FAMILY..ETC

AND THE LIST GOES ON AND ON AND ON.....
 jennifer62376
Joined: 2/28/2006
Msg: 14
How do you know if your being used?
Posted: 4/13/2006 4:23:49 PM
i think most guys are jerks and use us girls for what they can get but there are nice guys who want to treat us right i know its hard to tell but we just have to hang in there youll find a good guy soon
 R M
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 15
How do you know if your being used?
Posted: 4/13/2006 5:33:47 PM
quote[i think most guys are jerks and use us girls for what they can get ]
WOOOO.That wasn't fair to the guys..Most guys are jerks?how would we feel now if one of the guys here wrote that most women are B******.?
I really don't believe any man can use a woman unless she invites him to do so one way or another.Lets face realities and be responsible of our share of the action we do.
 torentrap
Joined: 11/21/2005
Msg: 16
How do you know if your being used?
Posted: 4/13/2006 9:50:40 PM
If you're in doubt, my guess it's probably true. Simply don't have sex with a guy until you're sure of his & your feelings
 Intercooler
Joined: 2/18/2006
Msg: 17
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How do you know if your being used?
Posted: 4/14/2006 8:22:09 AM

You have to remember guys think about sex every 6 seconds or so (something like that). Most are going to try to "get" with you, even if they know it's wrong...their d*ck does the thinking, even if they want to be respectable, their d*ick over powers them. This is where your instincts come in to play..I say, who gives a shyt what THEY think and worry about yourself and your own values.


This philosophy should lead to many happy 2 week relationships for you. Good luck with that....
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 18
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How do you know if your being used?
Posted: 4/14/2006 8:56:39 AM
~OP~ I guess I developed my "user theory" early on and take for granted others did as well. You need to be true to yourself. We can all spill advice to you, but that doesn't mean it's what may work for you. Personally, I figured out 4 years ago that casual sex doesn't work for me. I require emotionally availability and heartfelt emotions. I've been out of my last relationship about two years and until there is attachment on multiple levels ~ there is no booty. Those who aren't happy with that, don't need to call me. I made that decision, now I have to live with it!!! I was planning a meeting with someone that I met online and he appeared to be ideal for me. Once I told him that I am celibate, he didn't call again. Too bad for him. I'm so glad I remained true to myself because he obviously wasn't on the same page as me. Do what you feel is right for you at that time. And there is nothing wrong with sex on a first date, if both parties are feeling it. You'll know when it's right for you ~ just don't let anyone make that decision for you!!
 TheGlimmerMan
Joined: 12/22/2005
Msg: 19
How do you know if your being used?
Posted: 4/14/2006 11:16:59 AM
How do you know if your being used?


OP....Follow Your intuition......I have found that Intuition and Instinct combined can save one from a lot of BS.....and unwanted grief.Listen to that voice in Your head about some one You may wanting to be spending more time with...


If all else fails ...turn Your Bull-Ch!t-O-Meter setting from, stun to Kill.......It will weed out the jerks....
 BBsbaby
Joined: 4/14/2006
Msg: 20
How do you know if your being used?
Posted: 4/14/2006 11:29:52 AM
I've found a good test is to just ask him what he thinks about "casual sex" although answers range from the sublime to the extreme,you get what you need to know RIGHT AWAY!!!
 carrie bradshaw
Joined: 2/21/2006
Msg: 21
How do you know if your being used?
Posted: 4/14/2006 9:24:17 PM
Trust your gut sweety. Chances are that if you feel that you are being used, you probably are.
I hope everything works out for you as I have noticed you have another thread going on about a related topic....
Carrie
 Belladona
Joined: 5/14/2005
Msg: 22
How do you know if your being used?
Posted: 4/14/2006 9:37:08 PM
I agree with many of the posts here. Particularly though... I think you have to go with your own gut feeling, if you think something isn't right with the whole scenario, then the feeling is probably right.
 Crystal80
Joined: 2/27/2006
Msg: 23
How do you know if your being used?
Posted: 4/15/2006 12:17:52 AM
I disagree, a guy from this very site told me for two months...while we were getting to know eachother that he wanted a relationship...We talked everyday...we saw lots of pics of one another...no surprises, then we meet, oops. Sleep together I dont hear from him again. He could've atleast said...nah Im not really interested in u but Id like to f*** you....or something.So it is hard to tell when a guy is using you but Ive narrowed it down....they ALL are.
 Crystal80
Joined: 2/27/2006
Msg: 24
How do you know if your being used?
Posted: 4/15/2006 12:24:42 AM
but MOST women are ****es, its a two way street. Ive seen girls break the hearts of many good friends of mine. And Ive seen alot of guys, actually I havent seen it, Ive lived it...MOST guys are jerks....its 50/50. A guy will only use you if you let him, same with women, Ive been used saw it coming and did it anyways. Good luck to you all.
 R M
Joined: 2/19/2006
Msg: 25
How do you know if your being used?
Posted: 4/15/2006 5:24:58 AM
What I don't understand here is..when 2 people go on a date and they both decide to have sex,then the man acts satisfied with his hunt and go on to another ,why women call that being used?I never heard a man saying "he was used for sex".
You both used each other..you both wanted,agreed,and had sex..
May be the lesson here is NOT TO HAVE SEX with dates untill you really get involved, both of you emotionally and decide to stick together..no rush for sex,because that usually rush the men off for a new thrill and some women too!!!
women are a lot stronger emotionally than men.why do they decide to give in and then cry about it and say "we were used"?
I believe women are only used when they get raped ..End of case.
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