| Do people feel safer talking to someone farther away?
Posted: 4/10/2004 5:58:56 PM | | I posted this before, but it got accidently deleted before many ppl had a chance to respond. I've noticed that it's easier to make frineds with someone who is living say 1000 miles away than it is with someone who is 10 miles away. Have anyone else noticed this? And why is that? | |
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| Re: Do people feel safer talking to someone farther away?
Posted: 4/10/2004 6:24:23 PM | | i think its the fact that ppl know they will never have to confront someone 1000 miles away. personally im just the opposite, if someone is close id rather talk to them because u know there is a chance for something real there. | |
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| Re: Do people feel safer talking to someone farther away?
Posted: 4/11/2004 6:25:35 AM | I THINK IT DEPENDS ON UR OWN EXPERIENCES IN LIFE,,,,,HOW PEOPLE HAVE TREATED U,, TRUST, AND BEING SAFE. JUST KNOW THAT EVEN TALKING 2 PEOPLE ON THE NET CAN CAUSE REAL EMOTIONS. THE DOWNFALL THERE IS,,ARE THEY REALLY WHO THEY SAY THEY R?..IS HE MARRIED AND LOOKING 4 ATTENTION?..OR JUST FUN,,CYBER ETC,,,,,,,
CANT JUST GO DOWN THE ROAD AND CHECK IT OUT.MYSELF IF PEOPLE CANT B HONEST ABOUT THEMSELVES,,,,,,I DONT WANT 2 KNOW.
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| Re: Do people feel safer talking to someone farther away?
Posted: 4/11/2004 4:25:39 PM | What exactly is the point of talking to people in other provinces/states - or even countries? The liklihood of ever seeing that person is so remote. I just don't understand - why even bother? I've said this before in another thread, but I only have looked at profiles of people who live within 60-100 km of my own city. I want to meet the person that I am interested in, and have a relationship with them in person - not by email. Plentyoffish serves its purpose well by having people safely and anonymously contact each other - email back and forth for a bit to see if there's some sparks, and then MEET as soon as physically possible. That's the only way things have a chance of working out. The rest of it is just winking at each other in the dark. You're never going to know if the person is really right for you, or even looks like their picture until you meet them.
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99
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Joined: 2/28/2004
Msg: 5 | |
| Re: Do people feel safer talking to someone farther away?
Posted: 4/14/2004 8:39:30 AM | | Love could be waiting for you in any country, state or province........I don't think God was inventive enough to put soulmates together in the same neighbourhood, that would be too easy and the final destination wouldn't be worth the trip! I agree with you on the meeting part though.......you will never know if you are truely compatible unless you meet in person......hold hands.........look into eachothers eyes.......etc, you have to feel that electric spark and for most people.......pictures and words just don't cut it. | |
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| Re: Do people feel safer talking to someone farther away?
Posted: 4/14/2004 11:17:14 AM | | i feel the same way..i prefer to meet someone who is a shrt drive away.. but 99 is right.. god didn;t make it easy for us. Your perfect soul mate could be in timbuktu for all we know. If you don't give it a chance.. you could be missing out on the person of a life time. It depends on how you feel. if you both can stand the distance. But its very very hard to fal for someone you can't hold// touch and kiss but just a kiss on the screen is all you get. Im mixed on this. | |
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Ender
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Joined: 2/1/2004
Msg: 7 | |
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| Re: Do people feel safer talking to someone farther away?
Posted: 4/14/2004 7:06:27 PM | | 99 I do agree that yes, love *could* be in another State/Province/country - but how will you know who is on the other end of the computer is that person? Most of us cannot afford the luxury of meeting someone online from another part of the country or world, and then flying off to meet them. So that person could be Mr. or Mrs Right - and you'd never really know. How many people on here have had relationships during the early part of their lives with someone who was from the other side of the country? How about from another part of the world? My guess is that 90% of the people here met their mates/gf or bf locally. Although most of us here didn't have marriages/relationships that lasted, there are people out there who meet, get married and never leave their home state/province. And yet are happy. The old proverb "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" is very true. | |
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99
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Joined: 2/28/2004
Msg: 9 | |
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| Re: Do people feel safer talking to someone farther away?
Posted: 4/23/2004 11:18:42 PM | I asked this again tonight in the chat room, and they said it was because the women are scared to meet IRL. so if a guy walks up to them in the street and introduces himself, are you gonna run away because you haven't had a chance to talk with him for 4 months online first before you can actually meet him? It makes no sense to me.
It's frustrating as hell too, when you look at someonw you like, and you get a glimmer of hope because you notice she's from the next town over or something, and then she doesn't want to even talk to get to know you because she's scared of meeting someone online.
sorry about the longness.... | |
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| Re: Do people feel safer talking to someone farther away?
Posted: 12/22/2004 12:41:42 AM | This topic comes up often for me too Ex. *sigh*
Personally I like to get to know someone before I meet them be it for a date or just 'friends' type deal. I mean why agree to an awkward time spent with someone grasping at straws that you may or may not like each other. But by chatting ahead for 4 months prior to meeting, it takes the edge off. Im not one to thrive off of that kinda 'edge'. I like seeking cheap thrills every now and then but not like that!
Physical attraction is nice but it dies off quickly for me - I need a man to stimulate my brain and keep it entertained. If you can keep my attention then you've won me over. You cant do that by agreeing to meet in a tiny cafe somewhere b/c you chatted twice and both share an interest in brown socks, travelling overseas and tea. *lol* I mean, c'mon - how MORE awkward can that be? And why would anyone subject themselves to that willingly?
All of our mothers have taught us to NOT TALK TO STRANGERS so its instilled in our heads that when a guy walks up to you outta the blue on the street, the warning lights are automatically set to go off and your prepping to flee. Now if you take time to get to know them by the time you get around to meeting - you're not strangers.
The distance only forces you to take the time to get to know each other. But the physical distance could be within the same city or across the continent. Its all in how you approach it.
Ex: do you still feel the same way about this post you started back in what? June?
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| Re: Do people feel safer talking to someone farther away?
Posted: 12/22/2004 2:51:00 PM | shorty, yes I do. what would you do if you were at Chapters browsing a magazine, say, and you see some guy you like and want to get to know better. Do you slip him your email address when he's not looking so you can start chatting online for 4 months before you actually *meet*..it still doesn't make sense to me.
People still have to take chances. Why talk to someone online for 4 months and find out you both have a lot in common, and you feel comfortable enough to actually meet him, and when you do there's no spark? Sure you might become friends, but that wasn't your initial intention.. | |
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jimi77
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Joined: 7/13/2004
Msg: 18 | |
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| Do people feel safer talking to someone farther away?
Posted: 12/23/2004 6:27:32 AM | I would much rather chat and meet a guy who was closer than further away......Life already has enough obstacles in my book....I could do without another aggravation.
I have spoke with people (men & women) from various places....
There are a few people "closer" to me I have an ..um.....interest in... | |
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| Do people feel safer talking to someone farther away?
Posted: 12/23/2004 10:17:36 AM | Ex: Well maybe its just me then, I know I would go up and say hi and make first contact. If they dont 'bite' then I know nothings gonna come out of it and just move on. But I mean people I meet online who want to meet 'right away' as in 2 days later kinda do creep me out. I know NOTHING about you - I may or may not have seen a pic of you IF it is in fact you.
Thats the only bad thing with the internet, people can fake who they are - thats where the whole meeting strangers/trust issue comes into play. So if you did approach me at Chapters (if you had interest as you said above) yes I would say hi back but if you can keep my interest beyond the initial 'hi' then you're on to something! Otherwise I'm moving on.
I know what you're saying see if the sparks there and then build on that - but its easier to do in person when you have no prior knowledge of them. I know the internet makes everyone annonymous but it does have that bad stigma that everyones a liar on here till proven otherwise, right?
I still think its all in 'how you seize the moment' hon. Wether you live 10 km's away for 10, 000km's....once you make that first impression you're set or sent on your way. | |
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| Do people feel safer talking to someone farther away?
Posted: 12/23/2004 3:01:58 PM | Well Ex, dearling....
I dont think I do...I feel less at ease because I dont know this person, they are too far away, and there really isnt much hope of a relationship comming from someone so far away. Chances arethey will meet someone closer to them then I am, and I would be out of the picture....Plus distance is a real strain on things...I dont feel safe, I think it makes me feel even more alone... | |
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| Do people feel safer talking to someone farther away?
Posted: 12/23/2004 3:12:01 PM | I definitely think so. I've got this ongoing what we will do to each other when we meet thing with a woman in the next province, but when women five minutes away E-mail me back and forth once I let them know what I dig,that's the last I ever hear from them.Although, maybe there are some other factors at play here which haven't yet made themselves apparent to me. | |
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g54cs
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Joined: 4/12/2007
Msg: 25 | |
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