| people who disappear...
Posted: 4/17/2006 9:07:27 PM | have others had this experience of like talking to somebody on e-mail and IM and you like each other and then you give the guy your number and he says he's gonna call, one guy even said "i promise you will hear from me tomorrow," and then you never hear from them again? poof, gone...
what is up with that? could it be possible that these guys are meeting someone else that fast -- like in the span of 24 hours?!  or are they married and got cold feet about having an affair?  or what? i don't get it...
this has happened to me twice in the past week and a half and i am just so confused... what do y'all think? | |
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| people who disappear...
Posted: 4/17/2006 9:17:19 PM | | My guess would be that, they were interested, but then... for some reason, they had second thoughts on contacting you. It sounds stupid, but that's probably it. | |
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| people who disappear...
Posted: 4/17/2006 9:20:49 PM | Well I have found alot of weird people on this site so I have decided to just make friends here and thats it, But yes many people say they will call back and dont, Or they get wacky and dont stop calling.Its to much crazyness for me here..So Ill just play in the forums.. | |
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| people who disappear...
Posted: 4/17/2006 9:22:00 PM | | yea, maybe so, grantmoore. but it's weird because in both cases the guy initiated contact with me and kept talking about how very very interested he was in me...? i was wondering also if it's a problem with people online not really being sure they want to find somebody, despite what the profiles say, like a kind of general cold feet thing? | |
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| people who disappear...
Posted: 4/17/2006 9:24:06 PM | yea, crazyloca, i've only been doing this for a short while, so, still figuring it out. one of these guys was somebody who contacted me from a different site, the other one was here... it's a mad mad world this online dating stuff, isn't it??  | |
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| people who disappear...
Posted: 4/17/2006 9:35:37 PM | Yup, I threw the flag in today..I think most guys expect you to jump when they want to meet to..right then and there..not my style.. | |
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| people who disappear...
Posted: 4/17/2006 9:39:58 PM | yea, isn't it annoying how some guys want everything on their terms? one guy i met a few weeks ago (from a different site) really positively annoyed me, he was just as rude and ungentlemanly as can be, and then when i cut the date off short and said i needed to go (i really HAD to get away from him!) he looked at me shocked like, wha???? and i thought, how can you act so rude and inconsiderate to people and then expect them to want to be with you???? so weird... oh well... there has to be a good one out there!  i only need one.  | |
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| people who disappear...
Posted: 4/17/2006 9:54:20 PM | If it was the first time chatting, maybe he was just carrying out the conversation, then when you gave him your phone number he said he'd call, the word promise in there tells me one of four things:
1) He's definitely interested so he'll call for sure
2) Has had his arm twisted to make the call
3) Is trying to end the conversation quicker than what it's taking
4) He's not interested but didn't want to end the conversation, and this is his way out
If he disappeared it's not #1... But once I did realise I did say I would call someone and totally forgot to. I was interested. Actually still am, but I had more on my mind about work that day. *shrug* | |
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| people who disappear...
Posted: 4/17/2006 10:04:42 PM | | oh no, this was an e-mail, and no, no arm twisting -- in fact he had asked me to call him and had given me his number and i had then responded by giving him my number and asking if he'd call. (i feel funny calling the guy the first time, it just feels weird, ya know?) anyway so he immediately replied to that e-mail saying he'd call the next day "I promise" (which i never asked for -- i'd have been happy with an "oh great, i'll call you in the next few days" or whatever)... but, never heard from the guy, and i was really hoping to... dunno ???? | |
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| people who disappear...
Posted: 4/17/2006 10:15:07 PM | Who knows why people do what they do. I think his wife caught him......
Carrie | |
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| people who disappear...
Posted: 4/17/2006 10:24:13 PM | | I have no idea then. Maybe he chickened, or maybe Carrie's right? Who knows? | |
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| people who disappear...
Posted: 4/17/2006 10:54:23 PM | just be glad you didn't meet them, then ask for them to put forth some effort than poof they are gone, out of your life with no real reason why.
that's what had happened to me, I'm glad if they ask for my number and say they are going to call and then don't. It saves me from wasting time, I knowing who to continue to put my efforts toward. | |
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| people who disappear...
Posted: 4/17/2006 11:02:24 PM | go see failure to launch, gives insight on how they try to get rid of us after the look... it just keeps happening and i am looking for reasons too.  | |
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| people who disappear...
Posted: 4/18/2006 6:29:23 AM | hula and naivete, thanks for your comments...
yes i suppose i should be glad if they never call that i didn't have to waste any time on them, chances are they'd have eventually disappeared. right. i also think there's something weird about meeting people this way -- online -- something about it is very (what?) tentative? ephemeral? or something like that...
and what is this thing you mention that i should watch, hula, is it a movie? what does it say? that they get our attention and run? ha!! how silly... and men think we're silly!!
charley! thank you, very sweet! | |
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| people who disappear...
Posted: 4/18/2006 7:24:43 AM | | i couldn't agree more. have been on this site for 4 months or so and the sme thinf has happened to me. i mean we're meeting complete strangers online and it's not like in the old days when you met someone at college or through friendd. it's fear of the unknown and who knows what some men are hiding! the world has become rather impersonal and what's more, internet dating sites give too many choices, results? we end up eith nothing 'cuz if you say just the least little thing to ruffle their feathers, then they can go on to the next challenge. it's esp. frustrating when a woman shows her intellligence. what am i supposed to do, pretend i'm some dumb thing? all this game playing is annoying, don't you think? are there any mature men out there? | |
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| people who disappear...
Posted: 4/18/2006 7:38:04 AM | yea, i feel much the same, art teacher.
it's funny because just the other day i got an e-mail from a guy saying to me "oh, are you sure you have room in your life for a relationship?" and "do you even leave room in your life for yourself?" and stuff like that... i was so bemused! and so i wrote back saying, well what does that mean? yes, i have a busy full life, i have a career, and that's how i want to be. how else would i be? bored and aimless and lost and needy and empty? i thought it was weird and took it as the kind of thing where, here's a guy who wants a woman whose entire life will revolve around him and who really doesn't have much of a life of her own. and that woman is definitely not me.
by the same token, sometimes it is guys who are like that -- a guy i had TWO dates with apparently fell in love with me instantly -- i mean instantly. ???? i did not understand that and i even said to him, "but i could be a total b i t c h and how would you know?" :-) and so on the second date i asked him, "well, if you hate your job and that doesn't satisfy you, then what do you want to do? what else are you interested in?" and he said "all i've ever really wanted is to find my one true love." (ugh!) well, i think he thought that was the right answer but no, indeed, it was not! he basically said he would worship me and so on and so forth, but he did not understand that that is NOT what i am looking for -- i mean, he was very sweet and all but i want an equal partnership, two people with full lives and lots of interests...
ya know what i mean???? :-) | |
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Catwm
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Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 18 | |
| people who disappear...
Posted: 4/18/2006 8:42:38 AM | Sometimes people are emailing with several others at the time and just can not fit the meeting into the social schedule. Maybe he just got cold feet or was playing you. I can understand an emergency happening and would hope that if he truely was interested, that you would hear back from him as to why he did not show. If not, keep on  | |
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| people who disappear...
Posted: 4/18/2006 9:08:28 AM | yea, exactly, catwoman. not a word.
people are weird, aren't they? | |
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| people who disappear...
Posted: 4/18/2006 9:19:14 AM | I disappear all the time, but people just keep findin me.
I worry more about the ones who appear. | |
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| people who disappear...
Posted: 4/18/2006 9:38:13 AM | i had that happen to me a while back on another site. we emailed back and forth, everything was great, i called him, we chatted, everything was fine, he said he'd call me on the weekend - never called - i emailed him on the monday to see what was up and never heard anything back!
i still feel like sending him an email telling him what a jerk he was just to call him on it. | |
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| people who disappear...
Posted: 4/18/2006 9:50:44 AM | I've had it happen too, just chalk it up and move on.. 
There are flakes everywhere, in real life and online! | |
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| people who disappear...
Posted: 4/18/2006 9:54:33 AM | | I had the same problem with one guy. We had a wonderful time together (I met him while I was on business in his town). We still email each other. I had given him all my number but he never call. What does that mean? If he is not interested in me, why does he keep on emailing me?? | |
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