| What the freak should i do?
Posted: 2/12/2005 10:22:42 AM | ok, so here it goes. There's this dood that I am seeing. He's really sweet and pays extra attention to me. He seems like an angle sometimes  He's a full time student and doesn't have a job. Needless to say, he doesn't have a lot of money. So for valentine's day this year he sent me two cards via yahoo e-mail. I am kinda disappointed cuz i mean how much can a freakin real card and a rose cost? he could tell i was kinda pissed when he saw me in person so he said "i'm not rich and i won't pretend that i am and take you to a fancy resturant. when i have graduated and have a real job, i'll have money and i can do whatever i want." ok! so here's the deal... should i stay with him, cuz he treats me well otherwise but has no money or should i book it cuz he wont change? am i being shallow? | |
|
| What the freak should i do?
Posted: 2/12/2005 10:26:36 AM | I'd say he's putting his money where it counts - his education.
Yeah, I think it's a bit shallow of you. You need a fresh perspective. He's outright told you that he's broke. You've accepted that. One needs to grovel at the bottom to make it to the top, y'know? He's being responsible, and sometimes a student can be SO BROKE that they have to ration their food. I know....I've been there myself.
I wouldn't sweat it, really. It's only a money making machine, this 'Valentine's Day'. | |
|
| What the freak should i do?
Posted: 2/12/2005 10:32:11 AM | If he sent you the card even through email.. He still took the time and thought about you.
True.. it could have been so much better.. But.. He still showed he cared thought his actions.. He took the time to care.. count that as all gain.
It seems a bit shallow on your part. Seen how he has laid all his cards on the table, has goals and some kind of future. It is not quantity but quality. | |
|
| What the freak should i do?
Posted: 2/12/2005 10:36:41 AM | I think you are being totally shallow. I would be greatful that he even thought about you. Gifts aren't true expressions of love but actions and feelings are. Consider yourself lucky!
Shannon | |
|
dudio
|
Joined: 1/30/2005
Msg: 5 | |
| |
| What the freak should i do?
Posted: 2/12/2005 10:46:31 AM | ok.. well here's the deal. i agree i am being shallow. there; a tad bit more to this. my x with whom i had been for 5 yrs is now suddenly pursuing me. this dood i'm currently seeing kinda knows that my x wants me back. my x asked me to tell this guy that he has competetion.
i told my x to buzz off cuz i like the new dood but the new guy, when we got in an argument (cuz he wasn;t gonna take me out for v-day) said... i'm sure your x didn't take you out anywhere fancy either and if i was so hung up on going out, i should have my x take me out somewhere nice. i was like, "fine.maybe i will, he took care of me more than you anyways." and i told him that he probably wants to go back to being with his x who's a doc and so has more money. He was like, "yeah, sure if i'm not good enough for you and you wannna give me a chance, i'l go back to her". does this mean.. he wants to get back together with her? what do you think?
i know i was being shallow. i'm glad you guys pointed that out. thanx for the imput. i'm gonna try and be more thoughful.  | |
|
| |
| What the freak should i do?
Posted: 2/12/2005 10:51:32 AM | OH gosh...game playing at its worst.
Not for nothing, but you both need to grow a little. | |
|
late™
|
Joined: 1/9/2005
Msg: 9 | |
| What the freak should i do?
Posted: 2/12/2005 10:55:50 AM | Cut the guy some slack, by the look on his face, he just got a spankin' from mommy.
@ Kitty
You need to re-examine the definition of "rich"
Then you'll find your answer. | |
|
| What the freak should i do?
Posted: 2/12/2005 10:58:08 AM | youre thinking of dumping somebody that treats you well cuz he cant take you (right now) to a fancy restaurant or buy an expensive card & a rose?
Sweety, let me give a TEENY bit of advice....that kind of thinking will just get you deeper &deeper into the pit of emptiness & the mentality that is this guy/situation/living condition good enough? etc... will this poor guy EVER bee good enough, or "Economically Stable" enough? he's sounds sincere and trying, at least he thought of you... alot of us dont have the Luxury of even having someone tho think of us for Valentine's Day...
i believe you are smart enough to re-think your expectations, and you will in the long run be more content,.. Later,
and hugs to all...   | |
|
| What the freak should i do?
Posted: 2/12/2005 11:00:03 AM | Read her latest post.....
They are both just holding on to eachother because they don't want to be alone.
But being alone is the exact medicine you both need, Kitty. People, being exes or dates, aren't to be used as filler for your lives. | |
|
| What the freak should i do?
Posted: 2/12/2005 11:00:23 AM | No he doesn'trally want to get back together with his ex. He was hurt about the comment you amde about his ex, and he wanted to hurt you back because of it. This is what happens in arguements - poeple get angry, upset, can't think straight, and say the most hrutful things they can think of before they actually realsie it. Then pride prevents them from taking those words back, and apologizing. We may be the most intellignet species on the planet (actually, I think it's second - aren't dolohins supposed to be more intelligent?), but we are awfuly stupid when it comes to relationships. 
You knew he was a full-time student when you hooked up with him, and that his money was always going to be tight. So you're dissapointed that you didn't get anything physical for valentine's. Get over it. And let me siwtch it around - did YOU get HIM anything for Valentine's? I thought not. Yet another reason I refuse to celebrate Valentine's Day - no one ever gets ME anything, so why should I get them soemthing? I want give and take from BOTH parties in a relationsip, not just where I give and she takes :o) | |
|
| What the freak should i do?
Posted: 2/12/2005 11:04:12 AM | | he sounds like he treats you good..you could have a man who lavishes you with gifts instead of attention....ide rather the attention..your probably making him feel less of a man for not being able to give you what you want..shame on you..as long as your together its all that matters..he's preparing for his furture, which if you were smart you could be a part of..maybe you just dont appreciate what you have | |
|
| What the freak should i do?
Posted: 2/12/2005 11:09:03 AM | Thank you, thank you, thank you! i need you guys to set me straight.
 i have just learned that it's the love that matters and not the money.
Wish you ALL, a happy v-day. I think i'll go out and buy someone elderly like my neighbour a v-day gift. Seeing her happy will help me realize how much i have and giving is better than receiving. Thanks again for the input. | |
|
| What the freak should i do?
Posted: 2/12/2005 11:11:08 AM | | How about you go find someone with a job that will treat you like sh!t. Nice guys seem to turn you off. I mean its one freakin Valentines day ya know you can have many more with this poor guy At least he gave a rats a$$ to do something. But hey if your dumb enough to dump him, go find a guy with money and see what problems making a bad decision in life can bring. If you girls want to be that shallow about finance, then dont b*tch if we guys go for looks. I hope he gets a great paying job after college, and then a few years later he trades your shallow A$$ in for a younger model. | |
|
| What the freak should i do?
Posted: 2/12/2005 11:12:32 AM | | hmmmmm....gifting is an art and is a measure of how well somebody knows you. Money is not necessarily an issue here...a hand crafted card with a few lines of prose is something to show the grandkids. The Yahoo e-card shows a lack of imagination. There are thousands of inexpensive dates and ways to say I love you. It seems to me this guy was throwing you a bone...does this guy have the capacity to treat you the way you want to be treated? | |
|
| |
| What the freak should i do?
Posted: 2/12/2005 11:23:33 AM | re: "Rod" ^^^ (this "capacity" that he is speaking of).... is coming from a "gentleman" who is married and cruising around on a dating site.... i know the forums are interesting, and you can eventuall see how people really are, however it is easy to speak of the capacity to traeat somebody right when you are ?!? am i missing something?
Later and hugs to all, | |
|
| What the freak should i do?
Posted: 2/12/2005 11:28:05 AM | sundown, there is no need for such harsh language. we all make mistakes. yes! i agree i was being shallow and i am willing to change myself for this man. But i think we all have our downfalls. I asked for some advice in order to become better and make a rational decision. Your reply makes me think you're bitter against women and have issues. At least, i'm trying to deal with mine.
good day | |
|
| What the freak should i do?
Posted: 2/12/2005 11:29:51 AM | ^^ Well, I DO admire your ability to accept constructive criticism, Kitty. That is a sign of a person open and willing to change.
Nevermind the nasty posts. Take the message and learn from it. In addition to learning how to not be so shallow, you'll have to learn how to have thick skin as well. Especially on here, lol. | |
|
| |
| What the freak should i do?
Posted: 2/12/2005 11:46:46 AM | Now your just making untrue accusations to cover for your stupidity ? Why bring it up in this forum? dont change the subject to me, just cause you have silly little notions about how you shoud be treated on a holliday. Granted mabie he could have put a little more effort into being romantic. But ultimitly its a matter of your choice. he is the guy you chose, None of us chose him for you. you picked him, you live his way of doing things for now. What do you want? what are you in persuit of ? Dont confuse a reaction against someone being shallow, to being bitter against women silly. You dont know me. It it you that have issues against what people think. If you were a guy I would tell you the same.
Why be in a relationship if your going to be materialistic ? Heres an idea. Why dont you put forth some effort. | |
|
| What the freak should i do?
Posted: 2/12/2005 11:53:47 AM | Wish I had someone to think of me on valentines day and send me a yahoo greeting... sucks to be a nobody  | |
|
| |
| What the freak should i do?
Posted: 2/12/2005 11:58:51 AM | | You ? your not a nobody! you have great post on here and you make time to give to others here. Ive seen you write your a beautiful person If I was single Id ask you to be my valentine. | |
|
Home
login 
