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 Jlizzy
Joined: 10/10/2004
Msg: 1
How long to get over a serious relationship?Page 1 of 1    
Dating a gorgeous man at the mo who's amazed that about 1.5 years after leaving my ex, that I am doing grand again..seriously I am. Yes memories can creep up every now and then and make you go aghhhh but no I truly know I have put it behind me. :)

Anyway..he mentioned that most people take 5 years! I was amazed to hear that and thank god that I have managed to work through my own divorce as quick as I have..

How long did it take you?
 Who Me???
Joined: 12/16/2005
Msg: 2
How long to get over a serious relationship?
Posted: 4/25/2006 5:17:36 PM
5 years???? that sounds a bit extreme to me. When you go through a divorce or an end to any long term relationship in a way it depends on who initiated the parting.

If your the one leaving - perhaps you've had longer to think it through before the actually break up as opposed to the one left standing there hearing the news for the first time.....

However....I think the general rule of thumb is 1 year.

My 2 cents
 *Spunk
Joined: 4/20/2006
Msg: 3
How long to get over a serious relationship?
Posted: 4/25/2006 5:58:16 PM
I'd like to know this too...
I recently broke up with my ex, but even though I was the 'break upper' I'm really, really hurting.
I just want it to stop...NOW! So when can I expect to feel some relief?
 kittykat5
Joined: 2/18/2006
Msg: 4
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How long to get over a serious relationship?
Posted: 4/25/2006 6:13:00 PM
Hi. How long it takes to get over a relationship depends on how intense the relationship was and how long you were with that person. I don't think that there is any "rule", but it is advisable to take a reasonable amount of time before rushing into something new.
 carrie bradshaw
Joined: 2/21/2006
Msg: 5
How long to get over a serious relationship?
Posted: 4/25/2006 6:31:23 PM
The wound is only as deep as the guy was.....
Take that whatever way you wish.
~Carrie
 Saturday Night Rocks
Joined: 11/20/2005
Msg: 6
How long to get over a serious relationship?
Posted: 4/25/2006 7:01:55 PM
Lots of opinions out there, and it varies from person to person. If, by "serious relationship" you are referring to a married couple, it may take one year of recovery for every two years of marriage. So if you were married 10 years, it MAY take up to 5 years to recover. It all depends on how much that relationship meant to you...

My personal experience: It's been 7 years since my wife and I originally split up, and we've been divorced going on 6 years. I have not had any serious relationship since the divorce. I also have several friends who have been divorced several years, and they are not actively pursuing a relationship at this time. So in my circle of friends, it definitely seems like it is a couple of years minimum...
 Femm14
Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 7
How long to get over a serious relationship?
Posted: 4/25/2006 7:43:31 PM
I don't think there's an accurate number of months/years that people get over their ex'. Healing takes time, and tons of positive thoughts - no matter how terrible you feel!
 suzanp
Joined: 4/22/2006
Msg: 8
How long to get over a serious relationship?
Posted: 4/25/2006 9:22:09 PM
We all go at our own pace. I think the longer the relationship the longer the get over time. I also think it depends on the reason of the brake up. Think about it.. if your mate wanders and his infidelity slaps you in the face, it is going to hurt for a long time. Not to mention make you a bit guy shy. Where if you both grow apart, argue discover you have nothing in common left to save.. the split is mutual. Well the recovery time may be a bit shorter.
 greyboxerbriefs
Joined: 4/4/2006
Msg: 9
How long to get over a serious relationship?
Posted: 4/25/2006 9:52:23 PM
they say it usually takes about half of the time you were with someone to get over them. So if it was a 2 year relationship, it may take 1 year to completely get over them. From my experience that seems fairly accurate.
 quiksilver84
Joined: 3/31/2009
Msg: 10
How long to get over a serious relationship?
Posted: 4/7/2009 9:28:12 AM
i was with my ex since i was 14 years old....for 10 years! i didnt realise how much we done together and has left me feeling alone n confused. it only happened 2 weeks ago. i feel that our future has been wasted because its hard finding nice girls/guys.
but theres nothing i can do she made it pretty clear as she turned really cold on me like i was a stranger which hurt more than the break up.
but because im a nice guy i said i still want to be good friends and be there for her... even though she ripped my heart out. i have had many bad things happen to me but i never thought this would happen my world tumbled . but im not going to let it beat me. phew! that made me feel better sorry ;)
everyday i carry this horrible feeling in my chest i wish it would go away
 aelkins
Joined: 12/15/2008
Msg: 11
How long to get over a serious relationship?
Posted: 4/7/2009 9:55:42 AM
You can't put a time limit on getting over someone. I've been in a 5 year relationship that took less time to get over than a 2 year relationship. It depends on how much emotion was poured out of your heart. Yes, the deeper the wound, the longer the time... but it also depends on what you do to help yourself heal. It's going to take someone longer if they sit at home, don't go out, listen to sad music, and mope all day. For someone that listens to happy music, hangs out with friends, and stays busy, will recover alot faster.
 hamango
Joined: 3/8/2009
Msg: 12
How long to get over a serious relationship?
Posted: 4/7/2009 9:56:12 AM
It doesn't take me long to get over being serious about a relationship that ended. It takes the same amount of time that it takes me to find someone new. The first time it took a while but since then I have learned how to get over it already. Now what I have to figure out is how to get over my stubborn refusal to not be good enough. That could take forever at this rate.
 FourUms
Joined: 3/17/2009
Msg: 13
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How long to get over a serious relationship?
Posted: 4/7/2009 1:29:49 PM
Some people never get over past relationships. Some people bounce back right away. As with everything people like to make up rules for, I believe there are no rules.

I have taken longer to get over a six month relationship than I have to get over one lasting many years. Every circumstance is different.

In my mind five years is ridiculous for any situation... but that's me. Why waste 10% of your adult life pining away for something that's gone? Move on and live life!
 pnayplayr
Joined: 3/31/2009
Msg: 14
How long to get over a serious relationship?
Posted: 4/7/2009 7:38:01 PM
it will take you as long as you let it take you.

congratulations for being better out of it jlizzy!
 Cheeky_28
Joined: 7/16/2008
Msg: 15
How long to get over a serious relationship?
Posted: 4/8/2009 7:57:55 PM
I don't think you truly ever get over the feelings you had for someone you loved- you loved them for a reason right?

I just know that within a few months, I was back to being partially normal by month 6 I was numb and by 1 year I was over it!

There's still a memory that hits me and reminds me how lonely I am now, but then I remember- I have my whole life to find someone to love!!

All I can say is LESSON LEARNED: Love yourself, before you try to love someone else
 EvilLolli
Joined: 12/7/2008
Msg: 16
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How long to get over a serious relationship?
Posted: 4/8/2009 10:21:13 PM
I think the death of a LTR is much like any other death. How well and how fast we deal w/ it has alot to do w/ what we expect. If it was totally out of the blue, it takes longer to accept and recover from. If we knew it was terminal but still hanging on, we accept faster and are prepared for it. If we know it's coming but hold out hope for a cure/remedy we can have a mixed bag of reactions and time limits.

There is no magic formula. But if you realize you are in a vicous cycle w/ the grief process, seek help. There is nothing wrong w/ asking for support to get you thru something.
 Truth09
Joined: 2/22/2009
Msg: 17
How long to get over a serious relationship?
Posted: 4/13/2009 1:13:29 AM
for me its taken a few months.Still sucks every now and then but the more you push yourself away from the ex and the memories they bring with them the easier it gets.
 miss.diane
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 18
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How long to get over a serious relationship?
Posted: 4/13/2009 5:15:11 AM
ow bless ya darlin! well am 45 an done a bit mmm a lot of life! totally understand ur pain, its pretty much the same as a death! time we heal, ur young u got life out there! some1 out there will blow u away!! ur lookin at a yr!! but wivin that time u will become stronger! keepin urself busy helps mates u need an get out there an socialize!! wish u the best honey!! good luck x
 Matthew1786
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 19
How long to get over a serious relationship?
Posted: 4/13/2009 8:49:56 AM
I came out of a four year relationship just over a year ago and I'm still not quite over it.

She broke up with me. I went through a really good phase shortly after that in which I had a lot of close friends. Then I started to settle a bit and got pretty depressed. By october last year I was angry and frustrated and that has lasted until the last few weeks when I've finally realised and accepted that I haven't been over the relationship properly yet.

I know I'm doing much better now than I was but it's still going to take a bit more time. I do believe that if I'd met someone amazing about 6 months ago I'd have moved on much much faster though.
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