| worried about my daughters going though puberty
Posted: 4/29/2006 9:58:47 AM | | hi i am a single parrent of three beautiful children. my oldest is a 11 year old girl ...there mother has not been around in over 5 years .she abbanded us . my family lives far away in the state of georgia ..anyways what my question is ..i was wondering if my girls will learn enough in school about pubertyand menstro cycles .or if i should seek out help with this situation ....my girls talk to me about everything ..but thats just not one of my better topics ..any advice i can get will be much appreciated ...thanx for your time ....jeferey | |
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| worried about my daughters going though puberty
Posted: 4/29/2006 11:13:14 AM | my oh my.....please seek outside help and seek it soon. I had both parents in my life and neither of them talked to me about things like puberty until i was going through it. I started my monthly when i was only 9 years old and at the time we were learning about hemophiliacs in school ( the people who's blood dosn't clot and they bleed to death) so imagine my horror when i started bleeding from down there for several days...i thought for sure i was about to die...and i was afraid my family would be sad if they knew i was dying so i would hide the dirty clothes. eventually....about half way through the week...the clothes were found and my grandmother (from behind the locked bathroom door) gave me "the talk".
so please....for your girls sake...find a female friend or an aunt or somebody who can talk to them about this kinda stuff before they are actually experiencing it and are petrified to talk to you about it. | |
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| worried about my daughters going though puberty
Posted: 4/29/2006 11:33:53 AM | ^^^^
*Lol* It's like you took a page out of my life's book...
I also started menstrating when I was 9 and I knew NOTHING of it -- I thought I was dying as well. Really, my mother should have known better; the women in our family start puberty very early (she was 9 as well; my grandmother was 8).
I must agree with the other posters; finding a woman to talk to about these things would be preferable...at least from a female perspective. | |
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| worried about my daughters going though puberty
Posted: 4/29/2006 11:54:27 AM | This talk doesn't need to come from a woman. You can talk about it ... its pretty easy. Read up on it and get all the knowledge you can. Then when you talk to your daughter about it instead of thinking how embarrassing it is for you imagine how embarrassing it will be for her if you don't get the job done.
And remember that this isn't a one time only talk. Puberty and menstation and growing up happen over a long period of time and a need to be talked about regularly.
You will learn as much from her as you will teach her.
Good luck and enjoy the ride. | |
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| worried about my daughters going though puberty
Posted: 4/29/2006 12:22:29 PM | ^^^^^I agree...there are plenty of educational materials out there to help you and your daughter learn about the subject. Also learning it together will help both of you feel less embarrassed. She'll learn that men don't experience these things and you'll be showing her that you care enough to research and help her to know what is going on. Let her know that if she has questions she can come ask you...let her know you won't have all the asnwers right away, but together you can find them to make sure that she is prepared for growing up.
Letting her know that you want to make sure she's well aware of the changes that will happen and that they happen over a span of a few years...that you want to open the channel of communication early to make sure she is ready for these changes will help both of you to prepare for them. There is nothing worse than a parent standing there with a red stunned face going "What?" | |
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| worried about my daughters going though puberty
Posted: 4/29/2006 1:49:39 PM | | i'd reccomend YOU get yourself educated and then educate your child - don't pawn it off on others: and know the people who you entrust to this very well - but don't stand aside and leave it all to others... | |
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*Em*
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Joined: 6/29/2005
Msg: 9 | |
| worried about my daughters going though puberty
Posted: 4/29/2006 1:52:17 PM | Hi Jef,
hun, you really, really need to take heed in all of the above advice and QUICK! she is 11 and if she hasnt started her periods now..she will pretty soon. as you heard, some girls start as early as 9 yrs old whilst others can be as late as 17. tho schools do educate girls and boys, they still dont give enough information and some dont often educate them untill its too late. im afraid, as your the full time parent, its your responsibility to sit her down and have a good open chat about the birds and the bees :) there are books available to help parents and kids out and any female relatives or friends may be able to offer guidence and support.
in this day and age, with more fathers becoming the soul parent, im sure you are not alone in this...but with 3 girls its something ya gonna have to adjust to ;)
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| worried about my daughters going though puberty
Posted: 4/29/2006 2:27:14 PM | | I absolutely agree with Samhonolulu, you get educated and do it yourself...that way, when they come to difficult paths where they must make safe choices, they will turn to you (specially if they already trust you). As hard as it seems, I had those issues with my fahter, but he managed to talk us through the whole puberty lessons (my sister and me) and eventually, we were able to go to him when we needed advice (my step-mom was great too) but we were Daddies girls, so it was nice to have him to turn to. | |
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| worried about my daughters going though puberty
Posted: 4/29/2006 3:33:23 PM | | Wow 11 is so young, I didn't get it until I was 15, well I don't really have any advice to give, because I was in boarding school at the time and learnt about it from friends,not my parents. Maybe she too already knows about it from her friends, or maybe you could talk to her.... you know, but I'd say she would be more comfortable talking to a woman, but just don't bring in a complete stranger and hand your daughter to her.I mean a close family friend or an aunt would greatly help.Goodluck, don't worry, nothing to worry about. | |
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| worried about my daughters going though puberty
Posted: 4/30/2006 6:34:40 PM | | Well I am a female and I helped out some of my male friends that were in the same stage you are in, or going to be in. I told them if they (he) couldn't do ask help from his sisters or another female they might be comfortable with. Also go online and you will find help. Have you thought about asking the nurse for some ideas ? Well good luck you will do great I know it. Liz | |
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| worried about my daughters going though puberty
Posted: 4/30/2006 6:51:45 PM | | hi . i just wanted to thank everyone for your advice and taking a few minutes of your time to respond ....everyones advice was really helpful ...thank you all for responding ...jeferey | |
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| worried about my daughters going though puberty
Posted: 4/30/2006 7:14:10 PM | | Ya ditto on the talk and help soon. If it takes them by surprise especially their period, it can be a very embarrassing experience for them. That is the last thing you need them to go through. If you don't feel up to it find a female friend, or even make an appointment with your family doctor. It's very important for them to know all of what's coming their way. Everything from the physical changes, emotional changes, and even the changes in the way others will look at them. Best of luck in this, as a father of 2 teenage daughters I know it can be an interesting time to say the least. | |
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| worried about my daughters going though puberty
Posted: 5/1/2006 6:00:42 AM | | First hand experience as my daughter just started. Get outside help. With medical training, I was tooo technical for my daughter to understand The school nurse helped out ALOT. If you do not feel comfortable asking the school nurse, ask family members. | |
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| worried about my daughters going though puberty
Posted: 5/1/2006 7:19:30 AM | | have your mother, grandmother or your sister or any close female you can trust to set her straight. Dont try to do it yourself. she will be so embarassed. also, i would have your sister at the same time. give her needed supplies when the time does eventually come. my daughter was 10. i was shocked to hell she was so young. i think its all these growth hormones they are putting in the livestock now a days. you might want to have auntie give her a supply of her size pads. and have your sister educate you on the smaller sizes pads etc. made for younger girls. also, keep a descreit eye on the supplies given to her. then you can replace them descreitly without it upsetting her. Because dad knows everything. | |
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| worried about my daughters going though puberty
Posted: 5/1/2006 1:17:33 PM | Get some medical books WITH PICTURES!!! Female puberty and menstruation books are in all the libraries. If you sit down with her and talk to her in a clinical manner she will feel more comfortable. But first, you've got to know a little about what you are talking about so read the book before you talk to her. I did that with a girlfriend's daughter because she didn't know how to go about talking to her little girl. I got out my medical books and my friend was in the next room half listening and half watching tv while me and her 11 year old daughter sat on the couch and just had a nice conversation about becomming a woman. The girl asked a lot of questions and after a while her mom joined in the discussion and became relaxed with talking to her daugher. It was great to see them open up to each other and not be embarrassed about it. We ended up talking for hours and it led to discussing condoms and what kind of behavior she could expect from horney teenage boys. We even went into pregnancy and I showed her medical pics of the stages of how babies grow in the womb. It actually was fun!  | |
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| worried about my daughters going though puberty
Posted: 5/1/2006 1:19:53 PM | | Get some medical books WITH PICTURES!!! Female puberty and menstruation books are in all the libraries. If you sit down with her and talk to them in a clinical manner she will feel more comfortable. But first, you've got to know a little about what you are talking about so read the book before you talk to her. I did that with a girlfriend's daughter because she didn't know how to go about talking to her little girl. I got out my medical books and my friend was in the next room half listening and half watching tv while me and her 11 year old daughter sat on the couch and just had a nice conversation about becomming a woman. The girl asked a lot of questions and after a while her mom joined in the discussion and became relaxed with talking to her daugher. It was great to see them open up to each other and not be embarrassed about it. We ended up talking for hours and it led to discussing condoms and what kind of behavior she could expect from horney teenage boys. We even went into pregnancy and I showed her medical pics of the stages of how babies grow in the womb. It actually was fun! | |
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| worried about my daughters going though puberty
Posted: 5/1/2006 1:42:10 PM | | im sure there is books that can help on this issue, as i purchased one for my near 12 year old son, yes he had a giggle about it, but its quite informative really..amazon or google would be able to find a suitable one for your daughter. good luck | |
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| worried about my daughters going though puberty
Posted: 5/1/2006 3:11:56 PM | Also, OP, your family pediatrician can arrange for her to have her questions anwered, and tell her about birth control if that comes up later. Most schools have clinics inside, where she can get this information, too. Family members ARE best though like you've already heard.
Most importantly, make sure the clinic worker is very understanding of what you feel her limits are for information and make sure the medical personnel who examine her are female. | |
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| worried about my daughters going though puberty
Posted: 4/18/2007 7:41:37 AM | | This may sound weird but contact your local video store and ask them about such videos..and sit and watch them together in case they have questions...i went thru this with an ex all about puberty and sex....the video stores hase all kinds of tapes like that | |
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| worried about my daughters going though puberty
Posted: 4/18/2007 7:50:43 AM | YOu SHOULD BE VERY WORRIED...
You have one more year before they learn about sex. DOn't be caught being nieve. i know your up on the news.
GOd bless you dude.
and invest in a shot gun... | |
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| worried about my daughters going though puberty
Posted: 4/18/2007 8:33:02 AM | You know I was gonna do a thread like this but I have a BOY who will be 12 soon and OMG PUBERTY scares ME lol ... I will probably go nuts and pull out my hair but that is part of growing up for them... I know girls (I have a 6yr old girl too) have different body changes than boys but I still feel your concern, worries, and your pain..lol .. I think posters here gave you some great advice and you just do the best you can....
My friends daughter was 9!!! was she started her menstrual cycle!!! Kids are growing up way too fast these days!!! | |
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