| women proposing
Posted: 4/29/2006 2:59:38 PM | ok I'm not really sure if this is the right place to ask this question, but here goes!
What is everyone's opinion on women proposing?
I'm mostly interested in men's opions,
but any women out there actually done it?
How did you do it?
Did the man you ask say "yes" or did it even work, can roles be reveresed like this and still have a traditional engagement, I'm not suggesting marriage to just get a ring or his commitment, I really mean it!
Do I really need to wait for him?
hmmm......... | |
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| women proposing
Posted: 4/29/2006 3:18:12 PM | Unless you plan to wear the pants in the realtionship for ever and don't mind him not being the leader in your relationship then go ahead. Have you ever considered he may not be going to ask you? I mean traditionally that has been the man's job. If he isn't ready to ask he may not feel you are the one for him or may not be sure about it yet. Have you two talked about getting married? Because if you haven't, and you are this far along, you may be in for a surprise and not a good one. I personally wouldn't mind it, and on some levels it would be kinda cool. Without knowing the situation it hard to give good advice.
James | |
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| women proposing
Posted: 4/29/2006 3:46:37 PM | Well, was at a pool hall playing a few games the other evening, saw a woman get down on one knee, propose to her boyfriend of 15 months.
It was very touching and I was very impressed that a woman would do it.
I think that if a woman did it to me, then WOW! I would be more than flattered.
And as for wearing the "pants", it isn't about that. Geez. It's about showing that you love someone and that you're willing to commit. It isn't about control, but it sure is non traditional. I think it would make a great story for the kids. | |
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| women proposing
Posted: 4/29/2006 4:07:59 PM | I knew someone that told me about his own experience being proposed to. It instantly made me think the man in question was a wuss. As I watched him interact with other people, it became quite clear that he was highly effeminate.
Actually as the woman makes a clear statement of social prestiege (she bought the ring) and a clear statement of power (I'm asking you to marry me) it is a very aggressive, and hence, masculine thing to do. I'm sure that the guy in question had no problems with it, though. God only knows what else he's been through to end up with that.
I think many (most?) men would be totally mortified.
~Aurora | |
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| women proposing
Posted: 4/29/2006 4:08:09 PM | In these days anything is pretty much accepted, but I guess it would depend pretty much upon how the person thinks, what he thinks about tradition etc.
The only thing that I would be worry about, is that he may have the desire to do it on the traditional way, and see you face full of happiness at that particular moment. | |
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| women proposing
Posted: 4/29/2006 5:15:32 PM | | I figure that women will hint that they want to be proposed to. I would rather do the proposing. But that's just me, I'm a little old fashion. | |
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| women proposing
Posted: 4/29/2006 5:30:35 PM | naivite:
Women are masters at dropping hints, so.... drop the hints.
I don't think it's possible to have your cake and eat it too, either you want traditional or you want to carry him thru the doorway.
If hinting does not help (80% of men) then tell him you'll propose to him if he doesn't get his act correct. If he still doesn't propose... reconsider!
But seriously, you two know each other don't you!? You should know if this is a good thing to do with your guy.
And if you don't know, wait a little and find out. | |
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| women proposing
Posted: 4/29/2006 6:03:54 PM | by all means...if you love him that much to ask him to marry you...go right a head.
I totally respect a woman who does that.
I'm sick of tired of all that old tradition that put the pressure on us men.
now days men and women are expected to be treated equally and thus should carry the same load | |
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| women proposing
Posted: 4/29/2006 7:27:03 PM | | I suppose it's okay for the woman to propose so long as she's proposing to another woman. | |
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| women proposing
Posted: 4/29/2006 7:40:19 PM | | Sure seems to be a lot of control freak males replying to this. Are men really still that insecure? | |
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| women proposing
Posted: 4/29/2006 8:00:31 PM | | My Ex wife proposed to me. That's not the reason we're not together anymore. I see nothing wrong with it. | |
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| women proposing
Posted: 4/29/2006 8:26:25 PM | | If both parties are comfortable in the relationship I don't see why it matters who asks first. I vote for keeping it straight and let each other know how you feel. | |
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| women proposing
Posted: 4/30/2006 10:13:42 AM | | oh he is definately a strong man, but as for macho no! I guess I wanted to know more in the perspective as if most men would be turned off or turned on to the idea of a women professeing her unwavering love to a man. ya, I see the whole point of if he wanted it he would have asked me by now I guess there is a whole lot to the story more. I just wanted to hear Or read the census on if a man would be flattered or not. and I guess no, aw.... kinda sad now well it's still my decision to make. I wanted just to whisper to him marry me and we would elope to vegas. Not tell anyone, come back and be one. Maybe I'm just feeling all old-maidish I will be 26 monday, | |
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| women proposing
Posted: 4/30/2006 11:00:30 AM | I actually find it awesome, unique and beautiful if a woman proposed to a man. It means that she's found "The One", and that means a lot, means everything. I would tremble and get all nervous if that happened to me. If I had the idea of proposing but she did it first, I would say yes immediately after the nervous breakdown and kiss her for at least an hour straight. Its that damn tradition that blocks our feelings, and if a woman has enough reasons to marry a man, I don't see why not she wouldn't propose. But ummm... what about the diamond ring? Do I have to wear it??  | |
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| women proposing
Posted: 4/30/2006 11:30:46 AM | Funny how a desire for a traditional proposal immediately gets one branded as a "control freak". Ah well, overgeneralization season must have started without anyone warning us.
I hate to break to you, but really, many (most) men would not be comfortable with this, for a variety of reasons. Don't believe me, though. Feel free to ask them why. Then ask your girlfriends as to why. But whatever you do, learn how to deal with issues instead of throwing around labels.
~Aurora | |
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| women proposing
Posted: 4/30/2006 12:09:23 PM | | I dunno. I mean, I'm not opposed to it per se... but it would be a little awkward. Who would get the ring, for starters? I think it's okay for a woman to make that call, but it has to be handled differently from when a guy does it. A woman getting down on one knee to propose is just weird. | |
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| women proposing
Posted: 4/30/2006 12:44:01 PM | I'd love to find a woman who was enlightened enough to challenge these completely ridiculous gender roles we all still cling to!
Still, I do understand that some men would feel threatened or whatever. Hopefully you know your partner well enough to answer this question!!! | |
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| women proposing
Posted: 4/30/2006 12:51:53 PM | | It's the 21st century, bout time they started proposing! | |
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| women proposing
Posted: 4/30/2006 1:33:36 PM | It's not about control,
not about "taking away the pressure",
not about tradition,
certainly not about being modern,
It is about them both knowing each other well enough to know if it is acceptable to them.
I would certainly hope that someone who is thinking about asking me to marry them or wanting me to ask them in marriage would know what my feelings about the issue would be.
If they don't know, I think they should get to know me first.
PS. And if anyone thinks that it is not women who ALWAYS start the proposal transaction.... think again!. | |
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| women proposing
Posted: 4/30/2006 1:37:34 PM | out of all the things a woman could do, proposing would not be one of them!!! AHH....i would never do it. i wouldn't be able to...i think it's the man's duty to woo me  think of something clever and just giv'er.... | |
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| women proposing
Posted: 4/30/2006 2:10:48 PM | I've done it three times. All three times were jests, of course, but they count, don't they?
Maria XOXO | |
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mjr150
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Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 22 | |
| women proposing
Posted: 4/30/2006 3:15:07 PM | | justmeinnc05: Insecure? Maybe. But I'm no control freak. | |
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| women proposing
Posted: 4/30/2006 7:12:56 PM |
Funny how a desire for a traditional proposal immediately gets one branded as a "control freak". Ah well, overgeneralization season must have started without anyone warning us.
I hate to break to you, but really, many (most) men would not be comfortable with this, for a variety of reasons. Don't believe me, though. Feel free to ask them why. Then ask your girlfriends as to why. But whatever you do, learn how to deal with issues instead of throwing around labels.
I find it amusing that you take great exception to me "overgeneralizing", then turn around and do it yourself. Unless of course you know every man on earth, and have asked them what they think.
Traditions can be good, and they can also keep us trapped in little boxes. Time to stop the notion of what men should do, and what women should do. | |
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| women proposing
Posted: 4/30/2006 8:33:21 PM | I think it comes down to personal preference and ultimately, knowing how your own preferences mingle with your partner's before considering a less traditional approach to the proposition of marriage. There are no "right" or "wrong" answers.
Personally, though, it isn't something that I would do, not because I'm lacking in feminine strength and independence, but rather, because I want my partner to be the more dominant figure in the relationship. Perhaps tradition at it's best...or worst...Regardless, it is still my preference. | |
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mjr150
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Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 25 | |
| women proposing
Posted: 4/30/2006 9:02:05 PM | | justmeinnc05: When I looked at your profile to see your age, I though for sure I was gonna see 19. | |
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