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 voyagingboy
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 1
Other dating sitesPage 1 of 1    
This site is pretty unique because it's free... I've used a few of the bigger pay dating sites before and I noticed that after a while ... i.e., just as my account would go inactive (if I'd not logged in a while) I'd get a "x has added you their favourites!" email. Or I'd even get a message from them. But then when I pay to actually read the message and then reply, that would be it, I'd never hear anything back. The first time I thought maybe they didn't like my email so I didn't get a response. But it happened quite a few times... account just about goes to sleep, a message out of the blue, renew the membership and then nothing.

Anyone else get anything like this?
 SemiGoodLife
Joined: 7/4/2005
Msg: 2
Other dating sites
Posted: 4/30/2006 11:46:36 PM
Yes, there was actually a huge lawsuit about it. Match.com was scamming people by paying workers to message people who's accounts were almost expired. After the people would reapply to view the message the person who contacted them would disappear.

http://www.usatoday.com/tech/news/2005-11-18-matchmaking-fraud_x.htm
 voyagingboy
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 3
Other dating sites
Posted: 5/1/2006 3:16:38 AM
I knew it!
Lol, thanks for the link.
 JWA
Joined: 5/21/2005
Msg: 4
Other dating sites
Posted: 5/1/2006 4:01:15 AM
Wow---I just went through this over the weekend! It was with Yahoo Personals though--and their "free trial period". I joined in order to answer a few emails I couldn't otherwise respond to---I hate not being able to say at least something. I discovered they had ignored my decision to not continue and over the following three months had been billing my credit card. USUALLY I'm one to keep better track of charges but that one escaped me somehow. As it stands now I'm waiting for my bank to refund that money for me---it will take a few days.

Match dot com has been the biggest offender of scams and "mistaken" charges to credit cards, etc. They're in the news quite often---alternately for how large and wonderful one or two relationships have developed OR about their deceptive business practices.

There are a few other free sites like POF----I've noticed most of the people on the free sites are also here or the other sites. Most of those on the pay sites are members but the majority don't have a paid membership. Doing a local search on any site you see the same faces with similar profiles. I think it's the same no matter what service you join---difficult at best and a lot of frustration for some.
 Wolfie65
Joined: 2/17/2006
Msg: 5
Other dating sites
Posted: 5/1/2006 4:57:56 AM
semigoodlife beat me to it.
Don't pay.
The 19-year old Ukrainian supermodel does NOT want you.....
 RabidWolverine
Joined: 3/17/2006
Msg: 6
Other dating sites
Posted: 5/1/2006 5:18:07 AM
It is no surprise that there are scams going on with online dating. With so many people worldwide resorting to it to meet people, thinking it is easier than the normal meet someone through common avenues, of course sadly there will be scammers out to make a quick buck.
The big problem with online dating is, free sites attract everyone and anyone, so more crap to sift through, people who play games and want to get laid seem to flock to free sites more often. Yet pay sites you are not guarenteed to get replies from someone, so in turn you pay to get nothing in return.
So we are sort of damned if we do, and damned if we don't. Same as the phoneline personals sites like Quest, Grapevine or Night Exchange (if this one is still around) for example. Women are free on the phone ones and men have to purchase time.
All a game of chance and at stake is your money and your patience. Money for pay sites and patience for pay and free sites.
Go on Casual kiss/Campus Kiss and I would say 90% of the members on there are on POF.
So if you get no luck on one site, your chances are slimmer on the next site, like was mentioned about someone noticing the same people on a few sites.
IMO online dating has run it's course. Now it seems more people meet undesirables and many have too much of an expectation of what the person they will meet is going to be like.
But as many of us ask "Where do we meet people then?" So online dating will still be popular but many will not have high hopes with it or success.
 allh2h
Joined: 3/23/2006
Msg: 7
Other dating sites
Posted: 5/1/2006 5:33:57 AM
I have heard similar things and ya know now I am glad I DID NOT give yahoo my credit card number lol I was going to do that.

Another note about ALL of these sites, and it is some Wolverine said that reminded me, about how 90% are on another site. I had a guy on yahoo tell me we were 110% not compatible. Which is ok with me...no problem there. He is on here too and messaged me wanting to get to know me. He has no clue that I am one in the same on both sites obviously. I do nt put pics out,b ut eveyrthing else is pretty standard about me which is what is wierd that he'd not connect the dots and have two drastic opinions. When I realized that it was the same guy from yahoo I wished I had saved his message to me because I would have messaged it verbatim back to him...just amazing 'is all.
 JWA
Joined: 5/21/2005
Msg: 8
Other dating sites
Posted: 5/1/2006 5:47:55 AM
I don't think a pay site is fundamentally different in who they attract and eventually sign up as paid members. Free sites DO attract more crap but that's the downside of free expression. Couple that with the anonymous nature of the internet in general and you have a runaway, out of control exchange of ideas, rants, vents, snipes, bashes, criticizms, rude, caring, sympathetic, empathetic, curious, humorous, sad, pathetic and otherwise people-representative! It's not good it's not bad---it just is!

Anyone who pays to join a site is hopeful someone right for them will be found---sadly most often that's not the case. I don't think online dating has yet matured---it's only changed and not for the best always. Like online shopping (for products) it will never completely disappear. It will undergo more subtle changes but never go away.

These sites are like pick-up bars from the 70's and 80's----with all the attendant problems and nonsense, too. It is what we make of it and it's not to be "blamed" for what it produces. One day it MIGHT be more enjoyable---but don't look for that anytime soon!

Enjoy in the mean time!!
 RabidWolverine
Joined: 3/17/2006
Msg: 9
Other dating sites
Posted: 5/1/2006 5:55:38 AM
What seperates each site is certain features. The forums here are the best, Casual Kiss you can see who has checked out your profile and they have clubs to join for example.
I know me on the forums here has definitely hurt my chances alot on meeting people, so I just do not expect many to even reply to my messages after reading my posts. I say my mind and what I think on certain topics. Becasue saying something that say many women will disagree on will hinder my progress on even meeting or chatting to them. Most guys will say what the women want to hear so as to come across as agreeing with them, even if they do not agree.
other sites do not have the forums like this so that seperates this from the others and that is why I like this site. Sending message sout here I never even expect a response anymore, the dreaded read/deleted is my best friend.
 Wolfie65
Joined: 2/17/2006
Msg: 10
Other dating sites
Posted: 5/1/2006 6:48:12 AM
The difference is that pay sites are businesses, and as such it is their no.1 (mostly only) concern to make money.
Any way they can.
Free sites can, of course, still be scams as well, they could just be spam portals, in other words, an underhanded, sneaky way of verifying your email address, so that businesses can send you ads and spam, but those can always be ignored......
 Catwm
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 11
Other dating sites
Posted: 5/1/2006 9:09:05 AM
I was a member of paying sites a while back. They were no better. In my area, the same people were online with the same profiles and playing the same games. Some things never change.

Joining the free sites and enjoying the forums is the best thing I did.

 Mesnafugal
Joined: 7/12/2005
Msg: 12
view profile
History
Other dating sites
Posted: 5/1/2006 9:55:13 PM
While I have only paid to be on one site.. then cancelled it... I've had more fun with POF and met more great people on here than any of the other sites.
 stilldancing
Joined: 11/27/2005
Msg: 13
Other dating sites
Posted: 5/1/2006 10:06:45 PM
Okay, then where DO we meet people? I'm not having any luck just "bumping" into any Mr. Wonderfuls in my day-to-day life. I figured at least this way I'd be finding people who are also looking. But it seems many people on here are not looking at all. They are happily connected. Still trying to figure out what a connected person is doing on a dating site when there are lots of bulletin boards to just talk about stuff, that are not on dating sites.
 LikesToLick
Joined: 4/27/2006
Msg: 14
Other dating sites
Posted: 5/2/2006 4:14:51 AM
Yours is one of the first adds I have read that appears to be genuine. Most of the women, especially the younger ones, are writing a load of crap just to get men interested, and when I have replied I have just been slagged off as a dirty old man. I actually need to meet a younger woman as I would like to start a family, which would be almost impossible with a lady of similar age [51] to myself. Most of the adds I have been interested in, are portraying nothing less than gold diggers or meal tickets so I have to keep looking. I must admit I do not mind one night stands or intimate encounters, which is what most men are looking for, but I was rather hoping that I might find mrs right while I was at it. I am self sufficient and have an income over £100,000 per year, and can easily support a woman [the right one] and provide all her needs. If they dont like ny picture, fair comment, but beauty is only skin deep and I would prefer someone with a good personality rather than a beauty queen. I am not worried about her size, colour, class or creed either, as long as she enjoys the company of an older guy. I often wonder if I am asking for too much, but there must be a genuine lady out there somewhere that would fit the bill, and vice versa. Lets face it we all have the same basic equipment whether we are young or old, so I fail to see the problem with finding a match. Perhaps my life-style would be classed as too eccentric for some. But I will continue in my quest and good luck with yours. Kind regards, H. [LikesToLick].
 Who Me???
Joined: 12/16/2005
Msg: 15
Other dating sites
Posted: 5/2/2006 4:18:03 AM
For many - like myself, while we were fishing we met lots of people that are friends, made wonderful connections and some have been fortunate to find a fish to call our own. Does this mean I should forgo my forum friendships because I found a fish???

Also being in a relationship does not mean that you can no longer meet new people and for many on here they are not looking for relationships, just friends or chat.
 Bandito
Joined: 11/9/2005
Msg: 16
Other dating sites
Posted: 5/2/2006 10:15:23 AM
Why pay for something that is available for free? No one still can come out and tell me it was worth it to pay because......???

I know in certain cities, pay sites do have a bigger pond of active members. That is really what your looking for...essentially larger date catalogs or higher quality of dates in the catalog.

I think because POF is free it can boast that it has the line on "poorest quality...bottom feeding" dating options in the ponds. If your experienced and ready to deal with this then it doeshn't destract too much from the real quality fishes here.

I am not the biggest fan of on-line dating. I am a great fan of POF because it provides so much more than just catalog date shopping. It and all the friends I have met here have made a huge difference to my recently re-singled life....I am truely greatful
 RabidWolverine
Joined: 3/17/2006
Msg: 17
Other dating sites
Posted: 5/2/2006 10:34:37 AM
When i tried Lavalife I was disappointed because I never got replies and you have to use your credits to send messages, but I know of so many who said lavalife was worth it because less people on there casuing shit. Because who wants to pay a monthly fee to cause trouble etc? So those sites are better in that aspect, free sites bring out way more game players and some have no patience to put up with that. It get annoying even thoguh you may be ready to deal with it, because no matter what you can esily get annoyed. is human nature.
 a37064
Joined: 11/22/2005
Msg: 18
Other dating sites
Posted: 5/2/2006 10:40:29 AM
I did eHarmony and called them because I had about 70 matches and no one responded. They told me that often people are inactive for a while and then choose to reactivate the account. They send all potential matches and send them an email saying someone has emailed you, hoping they will rejoin.

Match.com will show someone online when the aren't online. Most all of them use some scam to get your money. This one is awesome because it is free. However, I see the same faces month after month.

T
 Tejinashi
Joined: 3/6/2006
Msg: 19
Other dating sites
Posted: 5/2/2006 10:46:13 AM
http://www.ripoffreport.com/reports/ripoff117706.htm

'Nuff said - just surf there for awhile. It''s disturbingly easy to find info on some of the sites out there.
 BondageLover617
Joined: 5/19/2006
Msg: 20
view profile
History
Other dating sites
Posted: 5/21/2006 10:34:56 AM
The absolute worst scamming site I've looked at is www.sexsearch.com - within a day of signing up I was getting messages, winks, and put-you-on-her-hotlist notices, supposedly from women more than 10 years younger than me (I'm currently 45) whose profiles showed professional-looking photos, and whose messages were provocative but not specific ("I just finished playing with myself. What should I do next?"). In my years of experience in newpaper personal ads and online, I've almost never gotten any interest from women 10 years younger than me, no matter how old I was at the time, so I began to be suspicious.

Luckily, before paying anything I did a google search for "sexseach review" and found a number of reviewers who described the site as "full of stale profiles and bots," i.e., robots, software programs designed to lure you into subscribing, since you can't send a message without paying. Thus, for *any* pay site, I strongly urge everyone to do a web search for the name of the site plus the word "review." Buyer beware!

A fun and free site I've been trying out is www.okcupid.com - it uses a completely different approach to "matching." After creating your basic profile, you answer a bunch of multiple choice questions, and you also answer how your "ideal match" would have answered those questions, and you rank how important the question is to you. *That's* how the site calculates your "compatibility" with any given other member. It takes some time, but the more questions you answer the more reasonably accurate the matching can be.

Regards,

Martin
straight polyamorous bondge lover near Cambridge, Mass.
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