| Initially Dealing With Break Up
Posted: 5/2/2006 6:04:16 AM | I want your thoughts on how you initially deal with a break up. When it happened to me it was a case of lucky I don't drink cuz I reckon if I did I would've gone out on a massive bender. But it was a case of feeling like I'd just been hit by a bus. I mean that physically cuz it was as if I got a strange feeling all through my body that I really can't decribe.
What I have learnt is that moaping about it for several days doens't do any good. If anything it makes things worse cuz I got roused about it by my mates and eventually I ended up blowing my stack at 'em.
The one upside is that I felt a bit better after blowing it cuz it was a release. | |
|
| Initially Dealing With Break Up
Posted: 5/2/2006 6:36:37 AM | Talk to someone about it. Keep yourself busy. I think that time is the key thing. The longer your away from her the faster you will feel better.
Good luck to you | |
|
| Initially Dealing With Break Up
Posted: 5/2/2006 6:47:30 AM | You have to arrive at that corssroads where you realize it's over, and it's time to move on. You need a bit of time for recovery, but that doesn't have to take that long.
After a seventeen year marriage, I was dating after only one month. Within about three or four after that, I was completely back to being comfortable with being with other women - and without any baggage. | |
|
| Initially Dealing With Break Up
Posted: 5/2/2006 6:50:22 AM | Acceptance is key.
Once you can learn to accept it, you can start to move on.
I know it's hard because I'm dealing with it right now as well.
Just give yourself time.
Best of luck. | |
|
| Initially Dealing With Break Up
Posted: 5/2/2006 6:57:10 AM | Never any easy thing...but the more you mpoe and dwell, the worse you feel (obviously). Gotta just go out, and have fun with your pals or family, whoever is best at bringing you back to life....it only gets better from there....just don't jump into anything else "relationship-wise" too quickly, unless it feels right. Some heal at different rates, every situation is different!!!
MONTREAL: Good for you, isn't always that soon! But inspiring for many I'm sure...took me about that long after 7 years (and that was "special"), but the 5 year took me longer. All depends where we are in life, and how we're dealing I guess. | |
|
| Initially Dealing With Break Up
Posted: 5/2/2006 7:03:01 AM | each one is different
so each relationship has its time, easier to say just let go than to do it but it is for the better... no one is going to come back and if they do you really only want to hear an appology out of them at most.
So deal with it, get exercising or something else to keep the body and the mind tired and focused on possitive things... and go from there | |
|
| Initially Dealing With Break Up
Posted: 5/2/2006 7:17:27 AM | Don't look for validation by quickly jumping into another relationship. Take time to enjoy being you and rediscovering yourself. Take inventory of who you are, what is important and what you want in your life moving forwards.
Best to you,
Bandito | |
|
Hezron
|
Joined: 12/15/2005
Msg: 8 | |
| Initially Dealing With Break Up
Posted: 5/2/2006 8:34:47 AM | | I always try to keep things in perspective...I ate today and will likely eat again. Nobody is shooting at me. I do not have brain tumors. It is a beautiful day outside...enjoy. Sioence the words and the stories for at least an hour each day and just be. Outside of that...get blitzed and play with a kitten. | |
|
| Initially Dealing With Break Up
Posted: 5/2/2006 8:46:46 AM | There's no one answer. I tend to put more effort than usual into spending time with friends and family or playing with my dog. I've broken up with most ex's on very good terms, so I often spend time talking with them. It creates something of a transistion.
For most, including myself, it's generally useful to discuss your feelings with someone. Spend a little time grieving, but be wary of being trapped in self-pity. | |
|
| Initially Dealing With Break Up
Posted: 5/2/2006 9:04:41 AM | There is no easy path. First you will want to surround yourself with people that are positive and happy to be with you. Friends/Family. Time does heal. I was in a similar situation where it felt like the rug was pulled out from under me. In my situation Kids were involved and were to be with me so I had someone to be strong for. I kinda went though the world like a zombie. HOWEVER. Now I am doin real good. I feel good about myself. I am positive on live and enjoying the new experience it has to offer.
So Gather those friends and you are right to stay clear of the booze. It really just makes things more difficult anyway.
If you can do a movie night with the Dallas Cheerleaders that will also help make the pain go away.
Opus | |
|
| |
| Initially Dealing With Break Up
Posted: 5/3/2006 8:31:44 PM | All good pointers there people :)
Upside is I have somebody a couple of people I can talk to about things. My Dad for one cuz he knows what it's like | |
|
| |
| |
| Initially Dealing With Break Up
Posted: 5/3/2006 10:13:08 PM | | after 3.5 years fo relationship girl cheats and leaves me. Dude break ups are horrible I literally wasted 8 months of my life being upset about it. To this day (this has been like 2 years ago) I still think about her and when you love someone you will love them always, but just move on. Truth is someone else in this world can make you happy. You just gotta find them. | |
|
| Initially Dealing With Break Up
Posted: 5/4/2006 8:49:47 AM | hi ian,
breaking up is never easy, it happened to me not to long ago and i felt like i was go to die. i wasn't eating or sleeping. the only thing that kept me going was the fact that i am a mother. i had to be healthy for my girls. my daughter came up to me one day and told me she didn't want to see me crying anymore. that was my wake up call, hearing that from an 8 year old really makes you think.
that's when i joined pof, and guess what i met alot of interesting people. i got my confidence back. so much so that my ex wanted to come back, but guess what, i told him i had moved on.
you go through many stages after a breakup but then you start to live again. | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| Initially Dealing With Break Up
Posted: 5/4/2006 6:22:59 PM | The best posts on this subject are written by jarbarian- look him up- under user. or go the forum search-
Yes, just mourn it as it is a death in a way- you must deal and go through the 5 stages of grief.
Not happy times I know- but, just keep saying to yourself- "everything will be alright"
Sierra | |
|
| |
| |
| Initially Dealing With Break Up
Posted: 8/13/2006 8:12:29 PM | Oooh, please read this book called "Its called a breakup cause its broken"!!! It is a wonderfully well written book, hilarious, but really, to the point and comforting.
In the meantime darlin, its very hard going through the grieving process, but you'll make it, just takes time. You go through the stages, pain/rage/tears/pain/rage/ and finally, numb!
Hugs | |
|
| Initially Dealing With Break Up
Posted: 8/13/2006 8:19:07 PM | | Thanx. When I started this topic it was refering to another ex. Mainly cuz the break up wasn't harmonious. In fact I haven't talked to her in over 4 years. With the latest one we are still very close friends, but still have it in the back of my mind that there's still possibilities. It wasn tyrany of distance more than anything | |
|
| Initially Dealing With Break Up
Posted: 8/13/2006 10:52:53 PM |
With the latest one we are still very close friends, but still have it in the back of my mind that there's still possibilities. It wasn tyrany of distance more than anything
I dunno, that part of your message sounds dangerous. Having thoughts of there being future possibilities can be setting yourself up for even a bigger downer than the girl you mentioned in the original post. You gotta get out there and meet other people and put this one onto the back burner. Leave the past where it belongs because if it didnt work right the first time, it usually isnt worth a second chance.
However, if she truly loves you and truly wants to be with you, she will come racing to you when she sees that you are capable of having a life without her. The worst thing that can happen is that you will meet someone who you are truly compatible with.
And dude, you are only 26. You have plenty of time to be spreadin all that love around. Get out there and be adventurous. See what is really out there. | |
|
Home
login 
