| Cinematic Diarrhea
Posted: 5/8/2006 2:36:59 PM | Name and shame the worst movies youve ever beared witness to,Films that took away 90 minutes of your life you will never get back,Im gonna start with a one of many and no doubt this will be controversial amongst the ladys who like a short man with a mullet.
Dirty Dancing:Why oh why do women love this film,crap acting,badly directed,cliched,rubbish music and the aforementioned Master of the Mullet Patrick Swayze i could forgive it most of its shortcomings but even the Crumpet is a bit of a minger. | |
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| Cinematic Diarrhea
Posted: 5/8/2006 2:38:37 PM | There was one with Renné Zellwegger in it... Set in the past... 'Down with Love'! UGH is all I have to say.
'Distant Shadow' was also pretty unbearable. | |
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| Cinematic Diarrhea
Posted: 5/8/2006 2:43:29 PM | George Of The Jungle 2....the first one I can watch over and over again with the kids, but the 2nd one is that bad and it knows it, as it continues to remind you for the entire length of the film.
OP you forgot to mention that Patrick's mincing around wasn't exactly in line with the macho image he was trying to portray. | |
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*Tee*
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Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 4 | |
| Cinematic Diarrhea
Posted: 5/8/2006 3:00:45 PM |
Dirty Dancing:Why oh why do women love this film
simple: Patrick Swayze's butt when he dances..ooh la la.. | |
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| Cinematic Diarrhea
Posted: 5/8/2006 3:02:20 PM | Brilliant post Bradni....gave me a right good chuckle
Movies they never should have been allowed to make include
Jarhead (yes again) High point and only action was when the main character burned the barrel of kak. They should have flung the negatives for this boring movie in the barrel with the other sh1te...
The Village....You sit thru this film thinking I must be missing something, it can't be that obvious or silly can it ?? and then find out yes it can. The plot contained more holes than John Prescotts home movies and made less sense than the chuckle brothers.
Open Water.....Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the cinema.....2 folk on a diving trip get left behind. Apparently the crew can't count to 8.....Upshot is they surface and boat is gone, so they tread water having a domestic for an hour and a half then get ate by sharks in the last 2 mins....Its a bit like Jaws, but without the shark, the interesting characters, the action, a script, decent acting.......Imagine the opening 90 secs of Jaws as the girl swims and get taken by the shark. Stretch that out for nearly 2 hours and you have some idea of the tedium that is open water....Should have sunk without trace.... | |
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Enryk
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Joined: 12/15/2005
Msg: 6 | |
| Cinematic Diarrhea
Posted: 5/8/2006 4:56:20 PM | mmm... ok the ones that jump to my mind now
Critters (any of them)
Leprachaun (Jennifer Aniston included)
Dusk til Dawn 3
Barb Wire (I know... Pamela Anderson was there, mea culpa)
and anything with gigantic insects attacking lost towns in Texas. | |
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| Cinematic Diarrhea
Posted: 5/8/2006 5:00:44 PM | Blaire witch project II
Complete load of ar$e, even though i watched it in the comfort of a scary graveyard (won tickets to a premiere) it was still the most boring, and destructive 90 mins of my life... destructive in as much as it killed the first one for me too, one of my fav films up to that point! | |
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red5
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Joined: 4/11/2006
Msg: 8 | |
| Cinematic Diarrhea
Posted: 5/8/2006 5:54:27 PM | I know this is the reverse of what is needed..
But have just seen Slither and it is completey brilliant..!!! | |
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| Cinematic Diarrhea
Posted: 5/9/2006 1:41:46 AM | | Alexander.....i think thats what it was called....absolute pants with scottish accents...were there scots in ancient Greece? | |
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| Cinematic Diarrhea
Posted: 5/9/2006 1:46:25 AM | "were there scots in ancient Greece?"
Dont think there were many english either!  | |
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Posted: 5/9/2006 1:49:01 AM | | Titanic , Titanic, Titanic, biggest pile of steaming dogs doo doo ive ever seen | |
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| Cinematic Diarrhea
Posted: 5/9/2006 1:50:57 AM | | I agree with Kez the best bit about that film is when that Gay tit DiCaprio snuffed it | |
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| Cinematic Diarrhea
Posted: 5/9/2006 1:56:15 AM | | for me it has to be Traffic.......I did manage to stay awake although my mate didn't......and I saw it at the cinema which was a bummer....what a waste of a fiver | |
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| Cinematic Diarrhea
Posted: 5/9/2006 1:58:48 AM | One Fine Day with George Clooney
I went to see this on a date several years ago and it got to a point where we thought we could have a smooch, only for the film to end and the lights come up in the cinema.
Biggest waste of time ever! Though it did give us something to talk about afterwards! | |
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| Cinematic Diarrhea
Posted: 5/9/2006 2:01:51 AM | Congo..i just wanted the goddam Gorilla to come flying out of the screen and finish me of my misery..
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Enryk
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Joined: 12/15/2005
Msg: 16 | |
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| Cinematic Diarrhea
Posted: 9/5/2007 4:18:20 AM | any film Jude Law appears in, any modern Disney film
others include - Green Street, what a crap story
- Harry Potter, its just my age
- Crossroads, that shite film with Britany Spears
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Hope~
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Joined: 5/29/2007
Msg: 18 | |
| Cinematic Diarrhea
Posted: 9/5/2007 4:20:43 AM | I loved Dirty Dancing, can act it myself I think.
I disliked Titanic and also Pearl Harbour (too much God Bless America for my liking)
I don't get to see many in the cinema unless they are children's films and if I watch a bad one at home will just turn it off  | |
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| Cinematic Diarrhea
Posted: 9/5/2007 4:28:29 AM | Moulin Rouge... First time I walked out the cinema demanding my money back ... WTF was that all about?
Thought it was going to be a life story of Toulouse La'trec and instead I was face with this silly musical and Nicole Kidman trying to sing!.... ffs
Another one I will never forgive my daughter for ..... The Spice Girls movie....
The Bratts "oh thats sooooooooo you!!!" someone save me  | |
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| Cinematic Diarrhea
Posted: 9/5/2007 4:35:57 AM | | the only time I really wanted to walk out of the cinema was watching A.I.: Artificial Intelligence supposedly started by Kubrick but finished Spielberg | |
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| Cinematic Diarrhea
Posted: 9/5/2007 4:44:54 AM | msg 13,
lLove honour and obey
The talented mr ripley
Midnight in the garden of good and evil, just a few of the many excellent films Jude Law has appeared in, do you actually go to the cinema ?
the remake of Get Carter was dreadful, as was the remake of Hairspray, I went to see it with my sister last week and was appalled, a classic John Waters movie turned into a bit of slush nearly as bad but not quite so vomit inducing as Grease | |
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| Cinematic Diarrhea
Posted: 9/5/2007 4:53:16 AM | | The Village, that was one of the worst films I have ever watched, It was so bad I gave the dvd away and the lass gave me it back.. | |
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| Cinematic Diarrhea
Posted: 9/5/2007 4:54:49 AM | World Trade Centre - Was sceptical to start with - why make a Hollywood film about that? But some people said it was a good film. Wish I had stuck with my original feelings about it.
Pet Sematary - How to turn a good, creepy book into a bad attempt at comedy...
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - How to generally turn a decent book into a bad movie. | |
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| Cinematic Diarrhea
Posted: 9/5/2007 7:02:50 AM | One that springs to mind just now is "Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation". A so called remake with cr@p acting and as for Leatherface, well OMG! What an utter load of Boll*cks!  | |
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| Cinematic Diarrhea
Posted: 9/5/2007 8:07:04 AM | american buffalo starring dustin hoffman.
i'm usually a fan of mr hoffmans work but this movie and his attempt at making it watchable were pitiful. i defy anybody to sit through this sleepfest with a tube of superglue and two matches and not slip into a boredom induced coma! | |
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