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 DEMI DISH
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 1
Men who like you to chase themPage 1 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
So, guys, enlighten me. What does it mean when you get signs/cues/messages that a guy wants you--yes, but he wants you to set things up, chase him, plan everything, etc.? Is this normal?

I don't have a problem with this for perhaps a short period (e.g. flingette, 1 night stand, etc.), but in the long run the man must be the hunter for his prey, no?

Has something changed in the dating world and is it for the better?

Thoughts and comments would be appreciated.
 c note
Joined: 12/24/2005
Msg: 2
Men who like you to chase them
Posted: 5/8/2006 7:29:35 PM
Any guy who makes me chase him will, in the end, be dropped.

These men are only interested in feeling desirable. They don't want a relationship with you.
 DEMI DISH
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 3
Men who like you to chase them
Posted: 5/8/2006 7:32:30 PM
Cnote, do you think this may be from the "hot" looking men more than regular guys?
 c note
Joined: 12/24/2005
Msg: 4
Men who like you to chase them
Posted: 5/8/2006 7:37:07 PM
It has less to do with looks than it does ego and insecurity. Not to mention selfishness.
 Iron Wolf
Joined: 10/11/2004
Msg: 5
Men who like you to chase them
Posted: 5/8/2006 7:39:52 PM
Demi,

I believe guys are getting tired of the chasing game - I know I am! The woman chasing the guy at least let's the guy know that she wants him. The guy SHOULD respond in kind, though. If I know she's interested in me...I'll engage in kind, but otherwise, I feel like I'm playing Russian-Roulette with a loaded gun - with ALL the barrels loaded! I'm not into that.
 youknowtoomuch
Joined: 5/2/2006
Msg: 6
Men who like you to chase them
Posted: 5/8/2006 7:43:56 PM
You don't think that is a little immature? I know people who like eachother but both of them are too chicken shit to ask one another out. And why is it the men's "job" anyway? is it the woman's job to be a kitchen wife and stay home with the kids? times are changing. Share the god damn responsibilities, it's so stupid how women always wait to get asked out, even if they like someone. I have great respect for women who can think for themselves rather than adopt society's values. However there seems to be a lack of those.

You all want to be treated the same, yet it's the man's job to do this and that. But it's no longer ok to say it's the womans job to be in the kitchen. Get with the program.
 youknowtoomuch
Joined: 5/2/2006
Msg: 7
Men who like you to chase them
Posted: 5/8/2006 7:46:42 PM
well said wolf. and I am not saying this is true, but i get the feeling that women that wait for the guys to make the move, are either to chicken shit to do it themselves, or just like being flattered by whimps chasing them around like little dogs. must be really self rewarding huh?
 unglaungla
Joined: 5/6/2006
Msg: 8
Men who like you to chase them
Posted: 5/8/2006 7:54:42 PM
"You all want to be treated the same, yet it's the man's job to do this and that. But it's no longer ok to say it's the womans job to be in the kitchen. Get with the program."



I've had the same feelings on the matter, I just couldn't figure out how to verbalize it, thanks :)
 designingwoman
Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 9
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History
Men who like you to chase them
Posted: 5/8/2006 8:01:05 PM
If I am interested in a guy, I will express initial interest, but if the guy does not reciprocate, I am not interested in a wild goose chase.
 whitsundayz
Joined: 4/13/2006
Msg: 10
Men who like you to chase them
Posted: 5/8/2006 8:04:41 PM
Dating is never EXACTLY 50-50. Always, one of the parties will be slightly (or much) more interested in the other party than vice-versa.

In life, if you want something... TRY FOR IT. We all know a mis-matched couple... Almost always, the "lesser" one pursued the "better" one, and won them.

If you sit on your haunches and wait for Mr. Amazing to ask you out, you might end up being seduced by Mr. Never Had A Job because... he's there. What's wrong with *your* telephone finger?

Also, a lot of very fine people have higher priorities AT THE MOMENT than finding their mate. Those are the people most likely to be swept off their feet by someone who pursues them. They themselves simply don't have the cpu cycles to give mate-finding their attention, at the moment.
 MistintedBrat
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 11
Men who like you to chase them
Posted: 5/8/2006 8:11:32 PM
Demi...I hear where you're coming from...it seems guys these days are playing the chasing game and like it for an ego booster...and you're right, you only chase for so long till you get tired of the "game"
 DEMI DISH
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 12
Men who like you to chase them
Posted: 5/8/2006 8:12:57 PM
donbenarrow has some great points.

In my experience, I have done a lot of chasing and it has gotten me nowhere!!! I repeat in case you didn't hear: it has gotten me nowhere!!!! I set things up, called, flirted, you name it. Now mind you maybe I didn't pick the most "motivated" for me I suppose (maybe these guys were repressed), but for all the experiences, I did better by just waiting for the guy to pick and pursue me, then I knew he was really interested.

True, a woman should definately take action, I agree, but not in the beginning I don't think. I really believe men call all the shots and I wish it weren't so.

To all the men I've loved before, thanks for nothing. I'm not bitter, just realistic and I like things that work, not things that don't.
 terminallycute
Joined: 8/3/2005
Msg: 13
Men who like you to chase them
Posted: 5/8/2006 8:14:25 PM

If I am interested in a guy, I will express initial interest, but if the guy does not reciprocate, I am not interested in a wild goose chase


YEAH!! what she said!!

Life is to short to be chasing someone around!!..Men are like busses...another one comes along every twenty minutes!! ( yes guys..you can say the same for women!!)

you snooze..you loose!! Thats my moto!!
 justinkredible
Joined: 4/20/2006
Msg: 14
Men who like you to chase them
Posted: 5/8/2006 8:19:22 PM
You want to know what i think ...........probably not but I'll let you in on a little secret anyway.................we all secretely like the chase, men and women both, the people who don't - complain about it in these threads.....the chase is what gets them to a certain point..........no one wants an easy target unless it was for a one night thing.......if I had to chase a guy fine, but if it ever comes to this I better be an older woman because at this point in time I dont' want to waste energy on someone who might not even be worth it in the long run..........and to be honest i've only ever seen a woman chase a man that was one either already being chased by someone (making it a competition) or if he was already taken (more appealing).........but whatever happend to just showing an interest, making it easy for both parts, not beating around the bush and making people guess if they're liked or not.......do you really want something to go wrong if you didn't express how you really felt? would you want to take the chance? if you didn't act on your impulses maybe that one person you actually thought worthy enough might slip through ur fingers.........so maybe we should end this chasing game and make it known what we want.............. I WANT YOU.........IN MY BED ................NOW!!!!! lol hehehe get it?
 whitsundayz
Joined: 4/13/2006
Msg: 15
Men who like you to chase them
Posted: 5/8/2006 8:19:55 PM
Demi-Dish: And how is your experience any different from the rest of us who are here? You say you are not bitter, but I think gin's your drink. They say Colonel Saunders approached over a thousand restauranters before he was able to sell his recipe (in his late 60s.)
 MistintedBrat
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 16
Men who like you to chase them
Posted: 5/8/2006 8:25:29 PM
Love your thinking hun = )
 unglaungla
Joined: 5/6/2006
Msg: 17
Men who like you to chase them
Posted: 5/8/2006 8:38:06 PM
I just wanted to state that all the arguments the women are making against it, are what men have had to deal with, with women before.

So the ego boost and all that, is the same thing men had to deal with before. So none of them are really good excuses in my view. Yes some men will do that, but you're learning what we've had to put up with for a long time. I'm glad men are getting smart.
 arri
Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 18
Men who like you to chase them
Posted: 5/8/2006 8:40:39 PM
Whenever a woman shows too much interest, I get scared and run ...

My suggestion is to show interest so that he doesn't get bored of the chase .. or get mixed reading thinking you are not interested when in fact you are .. but don't over do it.
 Dominika78
Joined: 3/31/2006
Msg: 19
Men who like you to chase them
Posted: 5/8/2006 9:00:59 PM
If a guy wants a woman to chase him, he's lazy and isn't a real man. Next thing you know, you're supporting him financially. F*ck that. If a man expects me to chase him, HE will be the one chasing in the end because I will just cut him off.

Nobody should "chase" anybody. If you feel like you have to chase someone, it's probably because they don't give you enough attention, which usually means they don't like you enough.
 diggydiggy
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 20
Men who like you to chase them
Posted: 5/8/2006 9:09:11 PM
Very good post.....

and yeah, I think if a guy wants you to pursue him, it is ego and insecurity, and he wants no responsibility in what the outcome is certain to be; he can't pursue because he has nothing for you.

And Arri, thanks for that admission. Ladies, take note. No chasing, there isn't one single guy worth that.

Sorry, and it is geared that guys call the shots.

The reality is that we let them think that......

 HottieScotty
Joined: 6/9/2004
Msg: 21
Men who like you to chase them
Posted: 5/8/2006 9:15:00 PM
Well.....speaking for myself.
It's about time times change.
300 guys..going after 70 girls.....now...what are the fellas spose to think....
If we snoose we loose?? Common....I'm finding it's the ladies here that really expect to be chased.
Mabey it's time for the pretty ones to not think they are gods gifts..
Yes.you have 150 fellas after you...BUT chose one ....have a coffee...and if there's no click...let him go...Quit yankin the chain if nothing better comes along thios week.
Yes...( for the 7th time).i'll do my best to line up a coffee date with you....You seem interested...but come the weekend....us guys don't hear a thing....untel after the weekend...
"AWwww.sorry i missed you..i got busy"..let's chat some more....you can butter me up....we'll line up a coffee date.....then........AWwwww.sorry i missed you..but i'm really still interested in meeting. can you butter me up some more??
sheesh girls....
 bafflefin
Joined: 1/30/2005
Msg: 22
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Men who like you to chase them
Posted: 5/8/2006 9:19:23 PM
Yea but what about all those books in the bookstore/library that tell you things such as "if he doesnt call he's just not that into you". Or tell you to NEVER call a guy and ask him out he will be turned off as he's the one who wants to feel he's the initiator. Like with all these confusing messages, how is anyone supposed to know what to do?
 MistintedBrat
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 23
Men who like you to chase them
Posted: 5/8/2006 9:23:57 PM
I agree Dominika
 HottieScotty
Joined: 6/9/2004
Msg: 24
Men who like you to chase them
Posted: 5/8/2006 9:27:50 PM
I send a note.....saying " I'm interested in getting to know more of you."
Should be easy for the girls...I like the profile....i like the pix....shure...lets meet for coffee someplace common.
Not this "you seem nice....you look good.....but i'll keep you on the back burner just in case somthing better comes along."
Tell me more why you'd like to meet me...

S*it......or get off the pot ladies.
You like somthing..say your interested....then that's it.
If he responds...go for coffee.......if he don't ....BUZZ..NEXT.
 SmileyInKamloops
Joined: 12/14/2005
Msg: 25
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Men who like you to chase them
Posted: 5/8/2006 9:29:05 PM

If I am interested in a guy, I will express initial interest...



but for all the experiences, I did better by just waiting for the guy to pick and pursue me, then I knew he was really interested.



Nobody should "chase" anybody. If you feel like you have to chase someone, it's probably because they don't give you enough attention, which usually means they don't like you enough.


Ladies, I agree wholeheartedly. I'm sure we've all shown interest in a guy at one time or another and either got no response or mixed messages. How long do you keep flirting, smiling, and so on before you finally give up. Geeeeesh, I don't mind indicating an interest, but I prefer it when the guy shows an interest in me first....at least then I know he is genuinely interested in me, not just because I showed an interest in him. But I have broken down...on at least one recent occasion.
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