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 steve in CR
Joined: 12/3/2005
Msg: 1
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The 3 date rulePage 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
At the Savoy brunch Sunday, some ladies brought up "the 3 date rule"...for those of you that don't know...many men have a rule that if they don't get lucky by the third date, there isn't a fourth...most men there acknowledged that it is a standard practice for men, while some women were aware of it and others weren't...the women wanted to post a thread on the subject, but since they haven't...I thought I would....

I was curious...

a) how many men practice the 3 date rule?

B) is three dates an appropriate number, and indeed, should there be a number at all?

C) do women have a set number of dates they generally wait before they feel it is appropriate to have sex?

d) Why do men feel there needs to be a cap on the number of times you take a lady out before she has sex, and then basically move on if she hasn't by then?

Looking forward to your responses!
 halokitty
Joined: 2/15/2006
Msg: 2
The 3 date rule
Posted: 5/9/2006 6:39:52 PM
They say that a woman knows within 5 min of meeting you whether or not she'll sleep with you.

I've heard of this 'three date rule' and when I did the guy didn't get to the second date. It may be fine for other people, and infact I'm sure it is, but I have -obviously, different standards and expectations.

How many guys impliment this? I don't know but I do know that many of them don't want to wait til the third date. It's kind of depressing.
 luckyone38
Joined: 4/14/2006
Msg: 3
The 3 date rule
Posted: 5/9/2006 6:44:26 PM
I have only one thing to say about this . Its right when its right. It may take 20 dates for the right person.If anyone sleeps with someone for the wrong reasons it never lasts. The 3 date rule is out the door with this guy, I have to much respect for myself.

R
 Brad II
Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 4
The 3 date rule
Posted: 5/9/2006 6:48:27 PM
yep...i agree.

i don't set myself to any schedule, but as a rule of thumb, if she wants to have sex on the first date, there's no second.
 luckyone38
Joined: 4/14/2006
Msg: 5
The 3 date rule
Posted: 5/9/2006 6:49:56 PM
I could not agree more with you Brad!
 Piscean48
Joined: 1/1/2006
Msg: 6
The 3 date rule
Posted: 5/9/2006 6:50:41 PM
Its right when its right


That's exactly it, it's between 2 adults, could be the first date or the 20th date, everyone has different expectations and the relationship you are seeking at the time may call for either, some want casual, others don't. I don't follow any rule. As long as respect follows afterwards, and both agree, no big deal depending on the situation of the people involved.
 OhShea
Joined: 1/19/2006
Msg: 7
The 3 date rule
Posted: 5/9/2006 7:11:41 PM
I agree with halokitty, for the most part women do know within the first 5 mins if they want to sleep with a guy. I had been aware of the 3 date rule prior to this thread, however I tend to go with my instincts and the mutual chemistry.

A guy I knew made me wait 2.5 years (lol no he was not in prison... just shy) and I have waited anywhere from a month into dating and also had sex on the first date... in my experience it doesn't seem to matter. If things are meant to work out, they will. I don't think "when" two people decide to get intimate for the first time has much impact on the chance of success.

I personally prefer to wait until it "feels" right and each dating situation is unique, so there is no set time limit for me.
 bye-girl
Joined: 4/10/2006
Msg: 8
The 3 date rule
Posted: 5/9/2006 7:19:34 PM
Seems to me the way the 3 date rule started was:

1st date...there was chemistry....and you wanted to get to know the woman more

2nd date... you found out more about the persons personality and were seeing if you really clicked...in areas of intelligence, shared and common interests...

3rd date... the woman was showing signs of interest and making overtures subtly that she may be interested in you in a sexual way....the lust factor was starting to wear off...and you were seeing whom the woman was...

rather than it being an actual you had to get laid by the third date...it was an actual ...do I see myself being with this woman intimately...

Of course all that being said...I believe in the 3rd date rule...it takes 3 dates to see if it will go any further...whether it be sexual or not...
 Doc Sage
Joined: 3/8/2006
Msg: 9
The 3 date rule
Posted: 5/9/2006 7:22:29 PM
__When it come to love and dating I do not follow any rules. Every relation is different from the preceding one, every person is unique. I follow my gut feelings, it seldom fail.

Doc
 LurkingEvil
Joined: 4/3/2006
Msg: 10
The 3 date rule
Posted: 5/9/2006 7:25:18 PM
It's a wonder I am even the least bit attracted to men with "rules" like this around! I'd be inclined to knock a guys block off for expecting sex after 3 dates! Ever heard of STDs? Grumble!
 hotrod77
Joined: 5/21/2005
Msg: 11
The 3 date rule
Posted: 5/9/2006 7:40:18 PM
I believe in the one date rule.
 Karski
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 12
The 3 date rule
Posted: 5/9/2006 7:42:58 PM
I have actually never heard of the "3rd date" rule before. My belief is that one should get to know each other quite well before intimacy like that occurs. I can certainly believe that the more you know someone - the better your choice will be. How many of us have heard of breakups happening after only a few short weeks of dating....and those people having had sex. I believe that their choice would have been different if they had known the other person better before the sexual decision was made. The result is of course the same for the ones involved-expecially the woman.....if only I had waited until I knew him better....I truely believe our personal values have changed (for the worse) over the past 40-50 years and now we are so eager to self gratify we lose track of what is really wanted. The one fella who posted above said it quite well....if a gal sleeps with him on the first date there would be no 2nd date. Seems to me the females should be saying the same thing! My personal choice is to wait-that way no mistakes are made and I can feel good about myself and my choices. This has stood the test of time and I stand by my self-emposed rule.
 Lainy1
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 13
The 3 date rule
Posted: 5/9/2006 7:49:35 PM
Absolutely absurd! This is why these guys are still single. You cannot go into any new relationship with preconceived notions of how it is all going to play out. That is just setting yourself up to be let down. I agree that you should just let things happen naturally.
 DreamerĀ®
Joined: 10/10/2005
Msg: 14
The 3 date rule
Posted: 5/9/2006 8:07:18 PM

I believe in the one date rule


Meaning you'll take one, if you can get one HR? heheheh

How ya doing buddy! long time no see
 hotrod77
Joined: 5/21/2005
Msg: 15
The 3 date rule
Posted: 5/9/2006 8:11:28 PM
How did ya know!

Im survivin.
 lactosetolerant
Joined: 2/1/2006
Msg: 16
The 3 date rule
Posted: 5/9/2006 8:15:11 PM
The only rule that should apply to having sex with another is the common sense rule. With everything that is out there in the way of STD's and increased AIDS occurances amongst heterosexual people, why on earth would you consider having first date sex, let alone what that implies about you both. No prude here, but I guess with age comes wisdom....
Besides... KISSING can be pretty damn hot and a good capper to a great first date....
 Bigandtalldancer
Joined: 1/1/2006
Msg: 17
The 3 date rule
Posted: 5/9/2006 8:39:09 PM
Be it the 1st date, the third, or the 25th, it really means not much. What really matters is "are you both happy with your choice"? If so, it was a good choice, if not, it was not so good a choice. IMHO

There is no rule to follow except the ones YOU make!
 celtic_spice
Joined: 8/1/2005
Msg: 18
The 3 date rule
Posted: 5/9/2006 9:08:36 PM
I have to say that I agree with the consensus here....two adults make adult decisions about adult things.....so no rules for this girl!!
 social dragonfly
Joined: 10/28/2005
Msg: 19
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The 3 date rule
Posted: 5/9/2006 9:23:51 PM
the 3 date rule guys are listening to

to much TOM LYKUIS(sp)

 Rus
Joined: 1/22/2005
Msg: 20
The 3 date rule
Posted: 5/9/2006 9:29:03 PM
Toms hilarious but only if you take absolutely nothing he says serious. Most of it is reversed for any decent person but it is funny if only once in a blue moon.
 puck_stopper
Joined: 3/23/2005
Msg: 21
The 3 date rule
Posted: 5/9/2006 9:31:03 PM
no rules here either....it depends on the two people involved....when or if it feels right just do it....if i'm really attracted to someone and they want to wait i have no problem with that...on the other hand if something happens on the 3rd date or sooner i don't think of them in a bad way
 D A I S Y
Joined: 1/9/2006
Msg: 22
The 3 date rule
Posted: 5/9/2006 9:33:10 PM
I have rules but nothing related to a 3 date rule.
 Must_Love_Dogz
Joined: 11/8/2005
Msg: 23
The 3 date rule
Posted: 5/9/2006 9:35:33 PM
I suppose if I want to be really honest here...I too know whether I would sleep with you pretty much at the moment that I meet you. There would likely be no date 2 or 3 if it wasnt a possibility. And yet, there is so much more than that...I suppose if my date decided that I was 'outta there' after 3 dates cause I chose not to be intimate at that point for any myriad of reasons that have nothing whatsoever to do with attraction then I guess he likely isnt the guy for me. How can we possibly put limits on something like this when every relationship is so different?
 nuthafish
Joined: 3/18/2005
Msg: 24
The 3 date rule
Posted: 5/9/2006 11:10:43 PM
Ummmmm.... uhhhh.. shucks.........
Starting out with a "date" first would be fun?

OT: If it's two people connecting does it really matter WHEN it happens? Some could be weeks or months?
 Islandsugar
Joined: 1/1/2006
Msg: 25
The 3 date rule
Posted: 5/9/2006 11:36:26 PM
I think that there should be no rules.... let whatever is meant to be ... happen... but no first date shinanigans.. cause its all trouble for sure!!!
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