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Show ALL Forums  > Manitoba  > WHen he says he needs space what does he mean actual space or breakup      Home login  
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 Angelic Pleasures
Joined: 11/23/2005
Msg: 1
WHen he says he needs space what does he mean actual space or breakupPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Women and men have different concepts about this obviously a man so hopefully we can clear up abit of confusion ....or get more confused. I would like both sides of of the fence for input on this one. When he says he needs space what does it mean does he actual need space? or does he actual mean he wants to breakup and just doesn't know how to put it in words, now i know there is going be a full pleather of opinions (hopefully) on this ....but all are welcome
 SpunkyPector
Joined: 2/24/2006
Msg: 2
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WHen he says he needs space what does he mean actual space or breakup
Posted: 5/10/2006 5:00:32 AM
From my viewpoint, I would have to say, straight up, give him some space.
Putting a negative context to it is only gonna bring the negative to light.
Perhaps he needs to think for himself and get his barings sorted out.
Holy Crap there could be a thousand differant reasons for him saying that, best advice BACK OFF, or you're gonna have the breakup anyway.
Sometimes when you get involved with someone it's important to step back and have a look at the while thing. Just to make sure that it's the right feelings you're having.
Famous saying " If you Love something set it free, if it comes back it's your's forever if it doesn't it was never ment to be"

Chin, up be strong
 nottaprincess
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 3
WHen he says he needs space what does he mean actual space or breakup
Posted: 5/10/2006 5:09:43 AM
I was seeing someone a couple months ago. He had a goal in mind and felt he needed to give it his all. He asked for some space to attain this goal. I took it to be double speak for 'I just want to break up'. I found out, ironically enough that he had been saying exactly what he meant...he needed some space to attain this goal without feeling guilty about the lack of time he had to spend with me. I'd say if he is asking for 6 months worth of space, oblige him but MOVE ON (which was the case for me) but if he asks for a couple of days or weeks, what do you have to lose??

Give him a chance...but while he takes his space, you can take yours as well. You never know who or what opportunity lie around the corner (and I don't just mean relationship wise)

 Deranged
Joined: 12/3/2005
Msg: 4
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When he says he needs space what does he mean: actual space or breakup?
Posted: 5/10/2006 5:20:14 AM
when i tell someone i need some space it means just that. its usually because the guy is smothering me and i need some breathing room. although i typically tell the person why i need the space. i dont like leaving ppl wondering wtf. but, regardless, if you dont give me my space, i will break up with you.

but thats not to say there arent cowards out there that use that line instead of just breaking up with you. there are ppl out there that will use that line hoping you will simply move on in the interim rather than growing a set of balls.

and thats exactly what you should do... move on! just like notta said. if someone told me they needed their space: fine, take it. just dont expect me to wait for you. i mean, give him a chance if he wants to come back, if thats still what you want to do, just dont wait for someone who may not be coming back.
 I will now behave_sigh
Joined: 2/17/2006
Msg: 5
When he says he needs space what does he mean: actual space or breakup?
Posted: 5/10/2006 6:03:42 AM
Typically if someone asks for space they are not really all that in to the relationship. An excellent book to read on that topic, among others, is "he's just not that into you" by greg behrendt. It is quite humerous at times and really gets the point across about a number of relationship issues...
 jdguy
Joined: 3/6/2005
Msg: 6
When he says he needs space what does he mean: actual space or breakup?
Posted: 5/10/2006 6:19:46 AM
interestingly enough, i was just reading something about this at work at aabout 530 this morning lol. It actualy said something about he is asking for that, cause he want to see if he will miss you , kind of a way of testing for himself where the relationship is at maybe. just a thought, but yeah usually he is looking to date/ sleep with other women
 weR1
Joined: 11/6/2005
Msg: 7
When he says he needs space what does he mean: actual space or breakup?
Posted: 5/10/2006 6:20:52 AM
Didn't 'friends' cover this with their 'we were on a break' episodes?
 Gypsy67
Joined: 10/18/2005
Msg: 8
When he says he needs space what does he mean: actual space or breakup?
Posted: 5/10/2006 6:39:19 AM
Yes, that is what they say Wer. I have had it happen to me, it's their way of testing the waters, seeing if the grass is greener on the other side. Don't sit on the sidelines and wait for long!
 DanoWpg
Joined: 9/27/2005
Msg: 9
When he says he needs space what does he mean: actual space or breakup?
Posted: 5/10/2006 7:23:50 AM
Someone tells you that you need space...then hey, give it to them...give them alllll the space they need...and then keep going! 90% of the time it's cause they're interested in someone else and figure they'd keep you kind of around if it doesn't work.

*The preceeding observations belong to DanoWpg and do not reflect the opinions of Plenty of Fish, its members, friends of DanoWpg, his employer, or former significant others.
 twoshadows
Joined: 4/4/2006
Msg: 10
WHen he says he needs space what does he mean actual space or breakup
Posted: 5/10/2006 10:26:09 AM
well,personally when I say I need space it's just that: I need some time alone to think and work things out in my head,and solitude is the best thing for me. If I'm in a relationship this doesn't mean i want to break things off. Sometimes us guys can think best if we're alone and don't feel crowded. Of course that's just my opinion.
 rotor wash
Joined: 5/4/2006
Msg: 11
WHen he says he needs space what does he mean actual space or breakup
Posted: 5/10/2006 3:07:53 PM
Depends on how far into the relationship ........

1.Married along time: Needs to go out with buds to the rippers

2.Married a short time: Doesn't want to have more kids, needs to see rippers

3.Just married: Reading Kama Sutra at ripper bar

4.Engaged: See #1

5.Going out >2 years: Miss 101xxx is at Teaser's all week

6.Going out 6 months: Doesn't want kids/marriage, goes to ripper bar to wallow wth buds

8:Dating <6 months: Thinks of you as a friend, as he's gnawing on a ripper's g-string

But seriously.....Can't say I ever needed space from a gal. The odd night out with the boys to keep in touch is one thing but I cannot understand exactly what that frigging "I need space" saying means. But usually a prelude to a break-up, no doubt. But then again, who the heck knows.....wish I had someone's space to invade to
 medicgirl911
Joined: 4/19/2006
Msg: 12
WHen he says he needs space what does he mean actual space or breakup
Posted: 5/10/2006 6:31:59 PM
this is complicated!!! I have used this in both ways... it all depends on what else is going on.... it can be...hey give me space... or hey I want out and am chicken to tell ya!!! Would need more info to tell you for sure!!
 bayerngirl74
Joined: 5/1/2005
Msg: 13
WHen he says he needs space what does he mean actual space or breakup
Posted: 5/10/2006 6:34:52 PM
Need more space = needs lots of space...away from you.

Sucks to hear, but is true. If he cared enough about you, he'd tell you what's on his mind and maybe he needs to work some crap out on his own, but if he needs time away from you, it's because he's spent enough time with you, and now wants to spend it with someone else.
 rich man
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 14
WHen he says he needs space what does he mean actual space or breakup
Posted: 9/23/2007 9:57:57 AM
well THIS is diffenetly a strange thread!!!when a 'guy' says that he needs ...'space'?????hmmmm...whaaaat ??????it usually the lady that says this to the man in her life!...well i think that no matter what gaol that hes persuing...whether it being in town or out of town....it could be that hes bored with the person that he's with ..ie no excitement in the relationship!!looking for some more else where where his loved one isn't around anywhere to see...witness...accuse!blah..blah!...just a thought!
 Little Pheonix
Joined: 8/6/2007
Msg: 15
WHen he says he needs space what does he mean actual space or breakup
Posted: 9/23/2007 10:34:42 AM
Space,ya the old space thing.
I feel if a guy says....oh gee i need some space,well my mind wanders and comes up with....the freekin dork,is seein someone else,or wants
out of the relationship,but doesn't have the balls to say it.Although there could be a number of reasons,but hell let him go
.
For myself usually if i need space,it means i need some,my time,so i get into my truck and just drive to no particular destination,sometimes for hrs at a time.

Everyone at one point or another,needs space,all depends on the circumstances around ya i guess..
 romanticoptimist
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 16
WHen he says he needs space what does he mean actual space or breakup
Posted: 9/23/2007 11:39:22 AM
Based on all the info you have available, in a healthy, communicating and honest relationship, if a person says, "I need some space" that's usually what they mean. Now, if you're in a dysfunctional, ambiguous, non-communicative relationship it could mean a hundred different things. My advice? Get in a relationship where "I need some space." means "I need some space". It has its advantages. You'll also get, "I love you." means "I love you." "I'm tired" means "I'm tired", "I really need to spend some time with my friends." means "I really need to spend some time with my friends", "No, hon. But you go out and have fun." means... well, you get the picture.

If someone doesn't know what their SO is really saying when their SO says something then think, "What we have here is a failure to communicate."
HTH
 geekybroad
Joined: 6/8/2006
Msg: 17
WHen he says he needs space what does he mean actual space or breakup
Posted: 9/23/2007 4:58:09 PM
Give him space, but let him make contact. You'll find out soon enough if you have type a) person or type b) person that romanticoptimist's talking about.

It's so hard to be 100% sure of what someone is really saying, but their actions will speak louder than words.
 DAKOTATRUCKCOUNTRY
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 18
WHen he says he needs space what does he mean actual space or breakup
Posted: 9/23/2007 7:58:43 PM
Mschickie40:

I think that if he is feeling a little overcrowded, he needs some space, and time alone for just himself.

It does not mean that he does not LOVE the woman that he is with.

However, we all do feel the pressures of a relationship sometime sooner or later.

The advantage of giving him some space, allows the both of ya time to do something different away from the relationship.

In doing so, that time away, allows ya ot bring some new, and fresh back to the relationship, that could very well, put some spark back into the relationship, that was probably missing.

So, having your own space and time away, does not always mean a bad thing, it just means ya need what is called, time and space for me.

Which is ok.
 DocRock13
Joined: 12/26/2004
Msg: 19
When he says he needs space what does he mean: actual space or breakup?
Posted: 9/24/2007 1:58:56 PM
he needs space but a breakup is looming
 spellingbee
Joined: 11/19/2006
Msg: 20
When he says he needs space what does he mean: actual space or breakup?
Posted: 9/24/2007 2:05:18 PM
Bah. A man tells you he needs space? Give him the number of the Canadian Space Agency (CSA) and 50 cents to make the call.

Next.
 winnipeggal74
Joined: 1/25/2007
Msg: 21
When he says he needs space what does he mean: actual space or breakup?
Posted: 9/24/2007 2:18:37 PM

Bah. A man tells you he needs space? Give him the number of the Canadian Space Agency (CSA) and 50 cents to make the call.


Exactly. He can change his profile to seeking "other relationship" and solicit alien abductions or animal husbandry that fall into the "other" category.

"I need space" - always requires further qualification.
By itself, without explanation, usually means "I don't want to be honest with you, and I'm just going to do whatever the heck I want (in the name of 'space')".
 Fort Garry Dark
Joined: 11/25/2005
Msg: 22
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When he says he needs space what does he mean: actual space or breakup?
Posted: 9/24/2007 2:56:15 PM
I agree with spunky in post 2:

I would have to say, straight up, give him some space.
Putting a negative context to it is only gonna bring the negative to light.
Perhaps he needs to think for himself and get his barings sorted out.


Relationships are built on mutual respect. If I need some space, it might be because you are being overbearing, it might be something at work needs my attention, I might be working through something and just want some space and some quiet to think for a while. I think saying that would be being honest.


" If you Love something set it free, if it comes back it's your's forever if it doesn't it was never ment to be"
 Kris-777
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 23
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When he says he needs space what does he mean: actual space or breakup?
Posted: 9/24/2007 4:17:21 PM
"When he says he needs space what does he mean"

I take it as just that, he needs space. If you don't hear from him after a week or two then I would take it as a break up.

But if he continues to mail, message, phone, any kind of contact, I take it as he is interested, maybe he's confused and not sure what he wants. I wouldn't put my life on hold, go out meet people, enjoy your life.

I would treat him with respect but I would not jump each time he misses you and wants you just when he wants you. Respect yourself through his space time.

I would just leave him be, if he comes back to you hes yours, if he doesn't he never was yours.



Just my opinion, Good luck!
 DietCoke┬«Guy
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 24
When he says he needs space what does he mean: actual space or breakup?
Posted: 9/24/2007 6:19:51 PM

When he says he needs space what does it mean does he actual need space?

Well, like so many things, it really depends on the context. If, at the time, he was hiding in a closet and you tried to squeeze in beside him, then it could mean he is feeling crowded. If you were the 2 sole survivors after a nuclear holocaust, talking on your cell phones to each other from opposite sides of the earth, and he said that, I think a lot more could be read into it. If he thought your spaghetti was too bland, he could simply have a bit of an accent.
 freckleswithluv
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 25
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When he says he needs space what does he mean: actual space or breakup?
Posted: 9/24/2007 10:16:18 PM
Throughout the years I have heard many stories of people (couples) getting to the point where they "are taking a break" , "need their space" or "need some time to sort thing out"..................What's up with that.

And never in any of those instances has it ever turned out for the better.

In my opinion, when a situation like that arises.......usually there has been a change in either parties feelings that has been there for awhile.

Some people justify that particular way of ending a relationship by saying that they still really liked the other person and didn't want to hurt them.

Keeping their hopes up is cruel. If you really want to end something......then just end it. Never mind any of this "space" bullsh**t!

Just my thoughts.

Have a nice day.
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