| Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted: 5/11/2006 8:59:55 AM | What do you folks think? To go through the experience is a good thing, even if it is fleeting?
I wonder.....(if you loved a married person, and did not know they were, or if you loved someone who died..soon after you formed an attachment..for example.)
Or is it less painful in the long run to never experience this strong type of love/feeling...?(and then never miss it????) | |
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| Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted: 5/11/2006 9:02:58 AM | I believe it is better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all.
With every experience/relationship we gain many new things to add to what makes us up as human beings. Whether they be good or bad experiences we learn new things about ourselves as we go along which ultimately makes us more well rounded human beings, stronger, wiser, more loving, etc.
We cannot be afraid to love because without love I believe we would be very empty and unhappy human beings. Taking the chance at love is the only way to find it in other words.
Good luck to you. | |
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| Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted: 5/11/2006 9:07:41 AM | | If you had a choice you mean ? Well, it depends on how much pain. If I was left intact and sane and she was too, then I can handle allot of heart ache and sorrow. However, if I was left messed up like never before where I was like one of these guys approaching women just for sex then I would have avoided her. If I ended up still some what sane and able to decipher self preservation with self indulgence, and can still be happy alone and fun then sure bring on the experience. However, if you have a choice and the other person is married shame on you, or if they are dieing of cancer then love them like the wind ! | |
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| Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted: 5/11/2006 9:08:49 AM | I'd say to never have loved.Try being in an unrequited love or try being in love with a person who loves you back, but you never know about it, and you can't be together because you don't want to hurt your family and know that he loves you just as much you do years later from someone else.Too complicated, I'm having a heart surgery and taking it out of my body ASAP.  | |
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| Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted: 5/11/2006 9:11:15 AM | Yes I think its better to love than not to try...
If it is within your heart to love someone you should always take the chance...
not that
there are any garentees in life concerning anything... but there is nothing wrong
with trying.
Guess its all a matter of style in HOW one goes about it
(trying)........ and there are lots of wrong ways to try. | |
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| Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted: 5/11/2006 9:27:12 AM | | Not only is it better, but it is this very quandry that has inspired the arts, poetry, songs...we grow, we learn, and often it is thru loss that we gain insight, and thru this insight, we find the love that eludes us and that our dreams pursue...take the chance, risk your heart, and whatever the outcome, savor the moments | |
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| Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted: 5/11/2006 9:27:38 AM | Its exciting. Its what makes most people feel more alive at times. Its freaking great even with the heartache. Can i get a hell yea I agree with above statement little cheezzzy but true. I love cheezzzzy when it comes to love. ill give myself a hell yea. why do people love certain movies, art, plays. There longing for it even if it hurts more everytime. Hell yea | |
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| Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted: 5/11/2006 9:29:37 AM | I definitely believe that it's better to have loved than never loved at all.
Loss is part of life. We "live," love and learn. We suffer when we lose someone or something that matters to us. That's what makes life worth living. It’s what keeps us alive. We care enough to love and hurt when we lose it.
I just lost the most wonderful man that I've ever come to know and love but it wasn't to death or anything like that. I had to let him go to fulfill his dream that he needed to focus all his time and attention on. Yes, it hurts to be less important than his dream but our dreams and making them come true are what we live for. It doesn’t mean that the person didn’t care at all. Just means that there’s something they’ve needed and wanted to do far longer than they’ve known you. I loved him enough to be his best friend and let him go. I'm still hurting and will be for awhile but I know in my mind and heart I did the right thing. I let him go out of the genuine and deep-seeded love that I have for him as a man, friend and boyfriend and I'll never regret it as long as I live.
I also lost my grandmother to lymphomic cancer on Grandparent's Day Sept. 9, 2001. It came fast and hard. She was my best friend and my hero. I couldn't do anything for her except hold her hand, comfort her and make her smile every chance I could. I helped her to die in peace knowing that I loved her with every ounce of my being as I'd done everyday I had spent with her on this earth. I lived to be like her and make her proud. I kept my promise to love her until the day she died and never leave her and I did it with love and pride. If I had not been there to share everything, good and bad, we never could've grown into the people we'd become for ourselves and each other. We laughed, we cried, we held each other every chance we could.
This life we have is meaningless and dead if we have no one to share it with or share their life with even if we have to let them go or life takes them from us. Love and treasure all the people you can even though we all inevitably end up losing each other in the end. View it not as a loss but rather an end to your chapter of life together that you two will always carry close to your heart well after the pain of losing someone has gone away. Love is never truly lost only gained. | |
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| Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted: 5/11/2006 9:34:12 AM | I don't think I'd really loved someone (as I should have) until my last SO. He taught me how to love back, and how to be loved. The pain in the end was excruciating, but worth every minute of heartbreak. I know now that it happens and it can happen again. (Ewww, but those near-fatal crying attacks were killer! Glad those are done and over.) with.  | |
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Tony-G
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Joined: 5/10/2006
Msg: 15 | |
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| Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted: 5/11/2006 9:36:38 AM | Always.....I do not regret any love that I've had or perceived to have had.
I have gfs that I see without anyone for years and years because they are afraid of risking their heart being broken. I know they're not happy and maybe they're ok but to me they are just existing...they're not alive like Destiny said.
I would always extend myself and do the risk, (not just for any guy of course) as the imagineable and unimagineable rewards are beautiful.
j4f | |
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| Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted: 5/11/2006 9:41:43 AM | OK my partner is a lot younger than me - 20 years. I love her a lot and I know she loves me - more than anyone else has ever down. But at some stage we will need to break up - because of the age difference I will get in the way of her life.
It is going to hurt but better to have loved. | |
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| Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted: 5/11/2006 9:45:16 AM | Oh, why do u have to break up? Look at Mary K. Leuternau and Villi, besides their bizarre circumstances, he waited out her prison term, they have 2 kids together, are 22 years apart and still together. Not the best example of a huge age difference but then there is Joan Collins with a hubby about 30 years her jr. U Go Joan...and Demi...and Goldie Hawn..
LOL
Thanks Rasp...why is it the coolest people live in Canada...................;-) | |
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| Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted: 5/11/2006 9:48:22 AM | Upon reflection your post question to me seems to be (or is) almost poetic.
Someone could cut
and paste it into a song lyric with a little embellishment.
No one could know the answer because to do so one would have had to gone
down both roads of life experience to compare the feelings. To
never know what its like to miss a feeling...having had both feelings of
(love and longing) and (love and loneliness). But since to try and think
about something you have never had ultimately lacks something to compare
against it guarantees the whole question impossible. Get it?
But since all experience is subjective, where does that leave us?
Personally I dont read too much into the old saying and consider it a truism
(even a trite one even)...although some might even call it a maxism.
To me it just means you are taking your memories,your experiences, the
good and the bad rolled up into one and settling for the fact that it might
have just been worse. You might have just been plain lonely instead.
Funny thing though in the context of 'unrequited love' if for instance the
person happens to be married. If in your mind you loved a married person
....IMO love isnt very fickle as a feeling, in my limited experience. It shows
up knocking and it doesnt ask you if you accept it but rather simply IS.
To reject it would be to disown a part of your self.
Its not really what happens to you that matters, its your reaction to things
that happen to you that matters. Or your response. Depending on the situation...
For instance if you loved someone and they rejected you/it...one might wonder or
question if it was better to have not loved at all. But thats totally different. | |
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| Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted: 5/11/2006 10:13:27 AM | There are Indians living in the Amazonian rain forest who have never seen TV.
And they don't miss it.
If you have never loved how do you know what you're missing ?
Then again, it's better to know what good music is supposed to sound like.
Even if you never hear it again. | |
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| Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted: 5/11/2006 1:44:52 PM | I believe that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved. I loved my dad greatly and I lost him. I had a choice, I could become angry and bitter or I could learn to love people again. I chose to love again.
I once greatly loved a man. I was so in love with him. It did not work out. I had a choice. To become bitter and angry or learn to love again...I am over him now. I have been for quite awile. I will love again. Of that I can swear on my Jimmy Choo's.
~Carrie | |
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| Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted: 5/11/2006 1:51:07 PM | Can't help you there.
I don't think that I have ever been 'In Love'.
'Lust, Yes.
I Long for a Real Relationship, not based on Sex, Drug's and Rock Roll.
But True understanding and sharing of one and other.
Besides, I do not mess around with attached women, women that I work with,
women that live within my space, albeit apartment building or neighborhood.
All of those things in my mind lead to a 12 gauge shotgun pointed at my Privates. | |
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| Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted: 5/11/2006 2:47:48 PM | I would never regret loving and being loved, even if it did end in heartache and loss.
It's part of life and yes at the time you say you'll never love again , but you do , you move on. You let your heart be open again and there really is no greater feeling than knowing you are loved and loving someone.
bah I'm a mushy sappy dork today. | |
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RBM
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Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 25 | |
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