| State of world affairs vs. Affairs of single folks....
Posted: 5/12/2006 6:52:33 PM | Hi.
I have had this thought lately - and it makes sense to me.
There is a very wise POF'er who says in her profile that there are many of us here that
have been here too long - and she goes on to ruminate as to why - her words got me
thinking.....the world is a mess, not only the planet itself, but relations between almost
every country, and there is a great deal of fear, dislike and intolerance in this time, so
much more than any other time in my lifetime that I can remember - and I believe this
is somehow affecting the ability of people to enter into new relationships right now.
Another part of my perspective is personal:
Up till a year or so ago I was never at a loss for available companionship;
Now it is so rare as to be freaky - and I don't think I have changed enough for this to
be something I did or changed about myself.
Does anyone here have any thoughts on all this to share ?
Best Wishes,
mark | |
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| State of world affairs vs. Affairs of single folks....
Posted: 5/12/2006 7:11:15 PM | I have to disagree with her mind set - I believe it is crap.The world of your in which you exist is what you want it to be. How you look at and react to stimuli. All your choice.
Anyway, with the basic self preservation aspect increasing (avoiding VD, wierdos etc) some may be a bit more distant and hard to get to know correctly. Many people seem to have odd issues that they are trying to deal with.
I have gone out enough - but those I feel a chemistry with are getting fewer and fewer. And I have been out with some very attractive gentlemen. Seems I need to get to know someone for a bit.
Seems there are a lot of shallow minded people out there only looking for arm candy. But the pickins are still diverse and one can be hopeful. The best seem to show up when and where you least expect. Stop looking so hard and reflect on yourself and enjoy your own company, get comfortable with yourself and you will be very surprised at what happens. Do not be afraid to be yourself - if they don't like it - thier loss.
I may not have been much help but thanks for reading this reply.
Jill | |
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| State of world affairs vs. Affairs of single folks....
Posted: 5/12/2006 10:43:10 PM | A fascinating reply Jill.
I am a firm believer in the power of consent and refusal, and choice as a great power
in one's life - and at the same time I must also say that there are things to which
choice does not apply - and that there are definitely things we do not have power
over no matter what we choose.
Your post seems to contradict itself a wee bit as well, because you have gone on to
say that the condition of the world is affecting people's ability to get close to one
another - or did I misunderstand the meaning of your words ?
And what you said at the last is coincidentally very funny for me - I am always myself,
and do not indulge in fakery for anyone - and their have been many people, both at
the personal level and at the business level that cannot handle it and do not like me
for it - but that does not change who I am or my choices (though I do time and again
double check myself to be sure honesty is in action.).
And I have no problem enjoying my own company - it is what I do the most - but there
comes a time when one must face the simple fact that they are tired of being in their
own company so much - what is true is true, that's all.
I am primarilly a 'night person', and work alone - so if I do nothing about meeting new
people I stay in my own company nearly 100%, and that is not OK, so I have to make
some attempt at meeting people in order for it to happen at all - and there you do
have the power of choices in action !
Be Well, and Happy !
mark | |
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| State of world affairs vs. Affairs of single folks....
Posted: 5/12/2006 11:01:01 PM | What I got from your post was something different, but I totally approve of her reply. Life is about making choices in response to the things that happen. Read Steven Covey to find out more.
What I got was that you find it suddenly difficult to find/attract the opposite sex.
As I am newly single I have learned that there is a gap between my self image and how people perceive me.
In my mind I am still 26 but I am living in a 47 year old body. The women I think are in my ballpark dont want to know me.
Or am I slowly turning into a dirty old man????
...and are you turning into a recluse? | |
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| State of world affairs vs. Affairs of single folks....
Posted: 5/13/2006 4:47:15 PM | Hi GrowedUP, and thanks for your reply and sharing your thoughts.
I honestly do not know what to say in response to most of what you
shared - but you asked:
"...and are you turning into a recluse?"
Not an easy question to answer !
Certainly I have seen my lumps and bumps in life, and have responded
in my own way - but between working what most folks call 'odd hours'
and working for and by myself - and as frosting on the cake, living in a
tiny rural town with a tiny population - that could all be construed as
unintentional reclusiveness, yes ?
Aside of that, when I am around people I am friendly and always happy
to start and enjoy a conversation whenever possible - so where does
all that leave me on the scale between extrovert and complete hermit ?
Best Wishes,
mark | |
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| State of world affairs vs. Affairs of single folks....
Posted: 5/13/2006 7:11:51 PM | Hello TheTruthsayer.
A fascinating reply, thank you.
I am well familiar with my own thoughts, and have no doubt where I stand
in relation to the question I proposed here - it is the thoughts of others
such as yourself which I seek to become enlightened to.
Your thoughts:
"The condition of the world is, indeed, affecting how people to relate to each other. This will forever be as a defining rule. (unless you are no longer connected to the general "world")
The folks in the blue lagoon should never have left. The world never touched them there."
How true - would that I could be there instead - the simplicity of it appeals to me !
And:
"If you think the world does not affect you; you should wake up just a bit."
Awake ? No lack of that my friend !
Lastly:
"I'm not a fan of "un-intentional"; though it happens to all of us. The "wildcard" in fate if you will."
Very few know of intentional living, or conscious creation, but we all share just one
biosphere, don't we ?
One Universe, One Mind, One Life !
mark* | |
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| State of world affairs vs. Affairs of single folks....
Posted: 5/13/2006 7:22:05 PM | | It's fun to cirelate our personal experinces with the model we maintain of the world at large, looking for apparent links, and there are indeed cause-and-effect relationships between global trends and personal events. But it's not harder to form relationships now. It's easier than ever. Transportation, coimmunication, freedom of choice of partners and lifestyles, all make it very much easier to find partners. | |
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| State of world affairs vs. Affairs of single folks....
Posted: 5/13/2006 7:41:10 PM | I think all the high divorce rate proves is that it's easier to get a divorce.
People are good, and make fine partners. Grant them the same consideration as yourself. One's personal failures can't be laid at the feet of some global dating slump. | |
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| State of world affairs vs. Affairs of single folks....
Posted: 5/13/2006 9:01:31 PM | Now I've heard every excuse in the book as to why people can't get a date.
I truly am laughing.
Newsflash: people got dates during every tension-filled period in history. If anything, those times drove people together, not apart. It's called "circling the wagons".
~Aurora | |
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| State of world affairs vs. Affairs of single folks....
Posted: 5/13/2006 9:47:27 PM | Aurora - such a pleasant sounding name !
In response to your newsflash - I believe that for some that is also correct,
and for others not so, and it is to this that I addressed my query.
Your thoughts in response are just as welcome as the others, and I am
curious to hear them, thank you.
Perhaps now we may speculate as to ~why~ this seems to be true for some
and not true for others, Aye ?
Best Wishes,
mark | |
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| State of world affairs vs. Affairs of single folks....
Posted: 5/13/2006 10:53:38 PM | The reason people are not satisfied with their lives in general is simple, really:
They focus on what they DON'T want, not what they desire. They internally picture terrible situations, they focus on how "lonely" they are, etc. etc. Since our thoughts create our future, guess what happens?
Yep, they remain lonely and going from negative relationship to negative relationship, continue to struggle financially, etc. | |
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| State of world affairs vs. Affairs of single folks....
Posted: 5/14/2006 7:14:50 AM | Smallhagrid, I have a little different view of this, I believe the world is like it is Because We (collectively) are like We are! That instead of the condition of the world affecting individuals, I believe we are affecting the world - not overtly, but by our shear indifference to the majority of mankind.
On a more individual basis, since we each own our own space, we can either see the world events as background noise, and do our part to help matters along , or we could absorb the status quo and make it our own, and thus make it stronger.
On a more personal note, I really have no clue why someone who works nights and alone, lives in a tiny town, and who has a more metaphysical outlook on life, would not be able to attract to themselves someone with shared interests.., I have a question for you- are there people, any people who are of a like mind with you in your surrounding area? Or it is just a “mate” you are having trouble finding? | |
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| State of world affairs vs. Affairs of single folks....
Posted: 5/14/2006 7:28:40 AM | | We view life using a set of models representing domains of experience. such as ourselves, our personal lives, our communities, our jobs, our neighborhoods, nations and finally, the big world out there in the vast universe beyond. Whenever we seek to understand something in one domain it easily happens to shift into the next model seeking clues. We bring the one problem into the other context and look it over there. We attempt to relate the problem statement to the model system, to see how things work, to discern what night work to solve the problem. Looking at the Big Picture to understand why a woman turned down your invitation to go out will not get you a date, but there is no harm in it. | |
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TishaG
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Joined: 11/13/2005
Msg: 14 | |
| State of world affairs vs. Affairs of single folks....
Posted: 5/14/2006 7:35:30 AM | | I hate to say this..but the only thing I've noticed in recent years is people are more "me me MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" and could generally care less about those around them. I have worked with the public for the last 22 years and I see alot more rudeness, impatience, and intolerance towards others. Maybe not more..but a higher degree of it. I especially see it reflected in young kids. I would never dream of talking to an adult the way I hear some kids talk. My father would have had my a*** in a sling. Maybe having the "it's all about me" attitude contributes to there being alot more single people? | |
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| State of world affairs vs. Affairs of single folks....
Posted: 5/14/2006 5:57:14 PM | Wow.
What alot of great folks contributing to this humble discussion - Thanks !
TishaG, I think you are very right - I have also seen some of the younger
folks acting in ways towards others (parents, teachers, strangers) that
would simply NOT have happened when I was a kid - but then there is a
LOT of stuff going on now that would never have been accepted when I
was a kid; so either I am REALLY old, or the world has changed ALOT !
Bull Rhino - your depth and perception are really amazing, and you have
a wonderful way with words - thanks for participating.
No_telling2.....well, as usual you've got me pegged !
And you are right - at this exact point in my life I have a greater interest
in individuals than the world at large, and yes, I have become more than
a little indifferent to the world at large - but I see this as sort of a 'time
out' for me because I was so concerned with it for so long that now it is
just time for a break of sorts.
And for the sake of clarity:
I have worked mostly nights and alone, lived in a tiny rural town, and have
had metaphysical outlook on life for many years now - BUT, I have previously
been able to attract to myself now and again, a woman with shared interests.
One big point of my query is that something appears to have changed, and
I am wondering if it is part of the bigger picture (Thanks Bull Rhino), me,
both - or D:) None of the above ???
Are there people, ANY people of like mind with you in my area ?
Sure. Do they have meetings, parties or the like ? Nope.
Used to be a Course in Miracles group or 3 in the area, but the
folks in those just faded away a few years ago - and I even
tried to re-start such a group to no avail....
Haha - if it was just a “mate” I was having trouble finding, I am sure it
would be possible to just 'mate' with someone by simply emulating a
'normal' neanderthal....."Hey U, woman - comeeeyah, or I hit you on
head with club, ug !!"
Sadly, that jest ain't for me !!
Best Wishes,
mark | |
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