| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 5/13/2006 5:04:40 AM | Finding the right "chemistry" is a huge task. It starts with you making a mental list of the characteristics you like (and dislike) in a woman. Men (and women) should do this BEFORE they even register online. It allows you to eliminate the people you know you will not connect with and it saves a lot of discomfort and a lot of pointless meetings.
But here's the question: Can a match between an older man and a younger woman work.
My thoughts? Yes it can. While it has been said that men mature later than women, it is absolutely true that men age (mentally) slower than women. A man in his 50's wants to go dancing, pick up and take off for a spontaneous weekend getaway and do romantic things with his partner. Women in the same age group want to stay home with a good book, go to craft shows and putter around in the garden.
It's NOT about "trophy dates" it's about fun and vitality and living life and having fun. The problem is that the majority of women in their late 30's / early 40's don't seem to be attracted to men in their 50's. ANY COMMENTS? | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 5/13/2006 5:41:17 AM | Women in the same age group want to stay home with a good book, go to craft shows and putter around in the garden.
It's NOT about "trophy dates" it's about fun and vitality and living life and having fun. The problem is that the majority of women in their late 30's / early 40's don't seem to be attracted to men in their 50's. ANY COMMENTS?
Why do people make these ridiculous comments????
How in the world would you know what all the MILLIONS of women in that age group like to do??? Have you met all of them?? As if we don't want to have fun and enjoy life!! How about asking them if they might want to do this with you and you might be surprised by the answer. Everyone has their preferences and perhaps the above mentioned activities might be having fun for some ladies in that age group. There is nothing wrong with that. If that isn't your cup of tea then step elsewhere.
I'm 39 years old and I can tell you that I can dance and party with the best of them, latin dance being my specialty. If you want to date younger women then do so, but please don't rip women that are in the older age group to justify your preference.
I'm plenty attracted to men in their early to mid 50's but only when they are enlightened and not throwing around ridiculous stereotypes. Oh and I have met numerous amounts of 50ish men that had to be surgicially removed from their couches. So it seems to be a malady that strikes both genders. | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 5/13/2006 5:50:17 AM | | Very confusing, Ochun36. If you are 39, how would YOU know what the 'millions' of older women like to do??. My comments are based upon MY experiences. No-one ever said that all older women like to stay home and knit. Similarily, not all younger women want to go dancing every night. It's all about individual experiences. | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 5/13/2006 5:51:13 AM | | I have to agree with Ochun guy, I am 50 and very active, my brother is 36 and a couch potatoe, it is the person not the age, it is in my estimation an individual choice, everyone is different, have met women in there 40's and 50's who were very active and great to be with! | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 5/13/2006 5:51:58 AM | | There is way too much generalization going on here. I've dated younger women and those who were my age. And some of the younger women were as how you described older women as well as some of the women my age were as you described younger women. It all comes down to the individuals personality. Age has nothing to do with it. | |
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LL3
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Joined: 9/10/2005
Msg: 6 | |
| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 5/13/2006 5:52:53 AM | It's just Octarectalitis.....Nothing worse than a poopie outlook on life.
Sometimes though, people find that they date the same type of person over and over again and figure it's best to completely shake things up and go a complete 180 from their perceived norm.
Older men/women dating younger women/men does work about the same as dating within the normal 5 year range. It's all about the people.
A 50 y/o coucher would get along great with a 30 y/o coucher the same as two active people from any range migh possibly get along famously with each other.
0.02 | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 5/13/2006 5:57:49 AM | | It's not about "outlook" it's about life experience and mine has been as I posted initially. I agree with some of your comments above (and those above yours) and I know couch potatoes gravitate to couch potatoes. BUT I still find that women in their 50's (in general) are way to set in their habits and interests. It's not a put-down, just my observation. | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 5/13/2006 6:48:57 AM | It's all about individual experiences.
Well there you go. You just answered your own question. Instead of this older men/younger women and older women/younger men business just treat everyone that you meet as an individual. Like I said before everyone has their preferences and instead of just writing someone off because you ASSUME because of their age group that they are into something or not into something. You might be pleasantly suprised if you just ask. Sometimes I find that it isn't that the individual doesn't like it but that they never had the chance to do it.
I've always been interested in learning how to ski but I have never had the chance to learn and actually do it. Who knows I might get on a pair of skis for the first time and say...Damn this sucks or I'll be racing down the bunny slopes like a pro.
You are right, I don't know millions of women but i know women. I know that inside of us there is a desire to live life to the fullest and to live it passionately surrounded by those that care for us. That doesn't change because you grow older. Sometimes it's obscured because of all the crap we have had to face but it's never completely extinguished, we just need the right person to come along and help us stoke the fire. | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 5/13/2006 9:15:20 AM | | i can answer this one from experience the last guy i dated was 47 and i am 36 and no is doesnt work well at least it didnt with him he turned out to be a liar cheat and a controll freak. but that is only one i have dated men of all ages and to be honest its hard to say if it will work or not unless you try. | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 5/13/2006 12:50:25 PM | | I am 38, and look for women in their mid to late 20's. I get along better and have more in common than with a woman my age. I have also found that most (not all) women my age are too set in their ways, and most are not looking for a serious relationship. I guess that extra 10 to 15 years adds a lot to the emotional scaring?? | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 5/13/2006 1:08:30 PM | There's a large age difference between my husband and I (12 + years of marriage), and we enjoyed one anothers company more than anyone we'd ever met and had far more in commom, in addition. But then again, I tend to be one of those youngerish "olderish" type of women.
drinking and dancing? no thanks, unless it's in the privacy of our own family room.... etc. i guess lots of people would find that boring at my age. | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 5/13/2006 1:25:30 PM | | I agree with babygurl. Same thing happened to me. Liar, control freak. There was a 19 year age gap and it was hell. Maybe the gap was a quite big, but still I've talked to many people who have had similar age gaps and they all say the same thing: get out of it while you can! | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 5/13/2006 6:47:28 PM | Older men have been dating younger women since forever. It worked then so I can't see why it wouldn't work now.
God forbid though that an older woman should date a younger man.....ohhhh that drama and controversy....... | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 5/19/2006 1:30:11 PM | | I believe are women are often attracted to older men, when I say older I don't mean 25 yrs difference. But I wonder if in many cases it is about the money, the man being established etc... Just a thought. However say that - today, I think that concept or thought has changed as women no longer need a " mate, the hunter or protector " So - what am I saying -lol | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 5/19/2006 1:52:07 PM | This is like most other things related to dating (and almost anything else involving people).
The bigger the difference in age, the fewer the number of couples for which it works. Yes, a 25 year age difference can work for a very few people, but if you go looking for that explicitly, your odds of finding it are going to be darn poor. 5 years or 10 years difference isn't so bad - and your odds will increase substantially. My SO is 8 years younger, but age has never been an issue between us at any time.
It comes down to meeting the person and having a connection. If you can't get the meeting - because age differences or other differences screen you out - you won't get the connection. You're more likely to find success at this offline if you are seeking someone substantially younger. Or try finding a Russian mail order bride. | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 5/19/2006 2:17:51 PM | | I am not attracted to men in their 50's or higher. It's a personal choice. I somehow doubt the wives who've been dumped by the older men(in favor of a younger model) will agree with all you've said here, but I wish you good luck.. | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 5/20/2006 7:55:28 AM | @Lqqing4U: any comments
Yes it can, but it depends what you mean by work and there are issues. I can't PM you though..
> Women in the same age group want to stay home with a good book,
> go to craft shows and putter around in the garden.
I found that as well. Maybe we need to start a special interest group for us like-minded guys ? | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 5/20/2006 11:19:44 AM | Yes, it can work. I'm going to be 26 in a month, and my boyfriend will be 41 this summer. We've been together for five years. 
I think it really depends on the individual's lifestyle. An older man may not appreciate a younger girl going club-hopping every weekend. When I met my bf, I had already pretty much had my "fill" of clubbing/partying, so it was never an issue between us. It also depends on the same things that matter no matter the person's age; interests, values, ambitions, personality ect.
I was always rather mature for my age in comparison to my friends. Don't get me wrong; I was still a badass teenager with immature moments,  but my way of thinking was always more logical, realistic and open.
My boyfriend is very young at heart, keeps himself well-maintained and is very active. Everyone that's ever met him thought he was in his very early 30's.
Because of this, we kind of "met in the middle" you know? Me being a somewhat wiser beyond my years, and he young at heart complimented us. We also share the same sense of humour, values and goals. We're both very touchy-feely type people, and are not scared to express our emotions and feelings.
Would be a shame to pass up something so great because of a number. :)
Oh. And let me tell you ladies... older men are soooo eager to please!  | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 5/20/2006 11:31:27 AM | Yep, it can. I was notorious for dating older men, once upon a time... it wasn't because I had a Daddy complex (as most people judged), but it was because I felt I could form better friendships, relationships, etc, with people who'd taken their heads out of their asses. At that point in my life I'd not met many men my age who were mature in any sense of the word, and the older men were. They'd had life experience, they could hold conversations, etc.
I really enjoyed the older men that I dated... one of them, I'm still friends with, five years later. | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 5/20/2006 1:23:30 PM | @rainmaiden: because I felt I could form better friendships, relationships, etc
fantastic! You wouldn't like to write a howto for the benefit of us older guys and the younger ladies who are missing out would you ?
*MWAH*  | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 5/20/2006 2:07:42 PM | I am 22...and my ex was 43...we got along amazingly and had so much fun together. We had a lot in common as well...and he could keep up with me like anyone else.
Unfortunately because of the long distance relationship we were having...he had issues with keeping it in his pants...lol!!!! Had he had been able to, I think we could've had a long lasting relationship, because that was our only problem really. | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 5/20/2006 5:01:13 PM | Well, I've always related much better with people outside of 'my generation', either much older or much younger, even when I was a kid myself.
These days, when I talk to someone my age, I hear the words, and understand them intellectually, but I can only relate to about 10% of what they're saying, feeling, thinking.
Pretty much total disconnect.
I talk to women in their 30's, 40's or beyond, and I feel like I walked into an Oprah episode.
Gimme someone who's in coollege, high school. or younger, I know exactly where they're coming from.
Perhaps it's because I remember very clearly what it was like to be a kid, most adults don't.
The 'older' ladies also don't want to do what I want to do, the younger ones do..... | |
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