| Anger in River City
Posted: 5/13/2006 10:21:15 PM | In the last couple of days I've been talking to a nice fellow on IM. We had a good time, he was very nice and complimentary, told me I was wonderful. I questioned that cause we haven't met, but took it as a compliment. He said he "just knew".
So this evening, I'm watching television and my computer is on POF, I'm not sitting in front of the computer.
This guy has tried to IM me a couple of times and of course because I'm not in front of the computer I don't respond. When I walk into the office, there is hate mail on my screen. He's telling me that if I don't want to talk I should tell him.. That I'm a **** and that I should **** OFF AND DIE.
This guy is 57 years old for pete's sake! His profile says that he has a good disposition and he's looking for a woman with humor because he is full of humor.
Give me a break! Then he blocks me and I can't respond, but he's not too bright because I just opened another account and told him he has bad manners. He needs help and anger management.
Why do people get so bent out of shape over something so trivial? So what if someone can't or doesn't respond to you? It's not the end of the world, there's plenty of fish in the sea.... | |
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| Anger in River City
Posted: 5/13/2006 10:28:50 PM | | Sounds like a good thing you didnt reply to him, now you know. I dont get replys to 1/10th of the e mailes I send. I think its kind of rude, but hey thats life on dating sites. | |
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| Anger in River City
Posted: 5/13/2006 10:31:20 PM | I think people get caught up in the fantasy of being able to type or click and have the computer grant them magical access to the fantasies they project out across the Internet. They are at home, on their turf, looking at the screen, imaginations making up versions of whomever they are addressing. They live the situation, like an aletr ego who laneded a bit part on a sopa opera. When the Internet fails to cater to their ego, they poke furiously at the keyboard unleashing venom, like a squid spraying ink or a skunk with its tail raised.
Some seemingly intelligent people get way bent out of shape here, acting up like children in playground disputes, typing insults into the little text box. So goes the human comedy. Let yourself be entertained. | |
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| Anger in River City
Posted: 5/13/2006 11:54:21 PM | | Well said B R . Always interesting to see your thoughts . | |
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| Anger in River City
Posted: 5/14/2006 4:03:53 AM | Wow, I'm shocked all around and worse... can't find a little icon guy to show I have fainted  .
Guess this is where I would think it is a good thing he was not there in person, and grateful I could block his messenger.
I'm confused why people would not reply to someone who sends an email, even to say thank you but I'm not interested. Unless the email was very rude. Why do you think they dont? | |
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| Anger in River City
Posted: 5/14/2006 4:33:33 AM |
I'm confused why people would not reply to someone who sends an email, even to say thank you but I'm not interested. Unless the email was very rude. Why do you think they dont?
Common courtesy just ain't what it used to be?
OK, maybe it still is but people don't receive training in netiquette very often, especially those in the mid-40 and over age range, who began a career in an email-innocent time. I used to teach a class on the Internet in adult community education programs, and made sure to spend some time on the topic. It was appreciated by the learners, like anything which returns a little humanistic touch to technology.
A good primer is here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Netiquette
And the external links at the bottom of that page can offer a pretty good education.  | |
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| Anger in River City
Posted: 5/14/2006 6:04:52 AM |
I'm confused why people would not reply to someone who sends an email, even to say thank you but I'm not interested. Unless the email was very rude. Why do you think they dont?
I think that depends on the circumstances, as in all things. I can only give my own excuse for sometimes not replying to email. If the message exchange took place ON the site on which we "met", I might not log back onto that site for a while (because, um, I have a LIFE other than on the internet), and I will often receive rude messages and accusations because of it. I calmly explain the reason for my absense, and let it go...but will likely not continue to correspond with this person. Even message exchange took place via email, I get literally 1,000+ email messages a day, not counting spam. I have profiles on a lot of personals sites, and have 8 different inboxes in an attempt to keep them straight...but I also have what is known as a "lame brain", and can still manage to get everything confused. I sometimes miss an inbox for several days, and when I finally check that email, it's full of hate mail *sigh*. So I can understand how people might not reply...but I agree that if none of these excuses seem to fit the situation, then you've just run into a very rude person, unfortunately.
~ Debbie | |
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| Anger in River City
Posted: 5/14/2006 6:18:48 AM | Debbie;
Why not try a different tactic with this guy? May I suggest a nice, sweet poem that will calm him down and disarm him. Try this one
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet and so are you
But the roses are wilting
The violets are dead
The sugar bowl's empty
And so is your head. | |
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anni
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Joined: 3/10/2006
Msg: 11 | |
| Anger in River City
Posted: 5/14/2006 6:27:16 AM | I think sometimes people sitting at home alone with their PC fail to realize that the world really does see what they type and send. I also think that some use this medium for venting angry or insecure feelings with little or no regard for the feelings of the person on the other end. Chalk it up to experience, and be very glad you found this out early and not in person.
There are a quite a few really nice people online, don't let the jerks spoil your day. | |
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| Anger in River City
Posted: 5/14/2006 6:41:47 AM | coug4, thank you for the lovely poem:
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet and so are you
But the roses are wilting
The violets are dead
The sugar bowl's empty
And so is your head.
I haven't heard that one since grade school...do you think it still works? *wink*
~ Debbie | |
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| Anger in River City
Posted: 5/14/2006 7:57:00 AM | sizefiveshoes, what I'm not understanding is your need to get the last word in. You went to a lot of trouble to create a new fake profile just so you could get the last word in. Was it that important to you? The guy is not worth the time or trouble but apparently you thought so because you took that time and trouble. Please explain.
Tink, Calgary | |
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| Anger in River City
Posted: 5/14/2006 11:05:38 AM | I never send out rude e mails, if some one makes me upset I just ignore them, what good would it do to reply with anger? | |
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| Anger in River City
Posted: 5/14/2006 11:21:28 AM | Cheryl_2006 - I am trying to force myself to come up with some kind of reply lately - but for the last three years I did not reply at all to most of the emails I get.
I guess I am the only one but ... I prefer the gal to NOT reply if she has no interest. To me that IS a reply and it is the most logical reply - I totally understand and am in no way offended. On the other hand when I get some CANNED mumble jumble I get insulted. My emails are always sincere and respectful.
With very few exceptions - when I try to contact a gal as soon as I push the button - I forget I ever sent it. I don’t expect a reply.
I am so gun shy (see my topic on that) that I seldom even try to originate a contact anymore. | |
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| Anger in River City
Posted: 5/14/2006 11:32:09 AM | Here are a few replies that I could handle.
Thank you for the email but I'm not interested.
Thank you for the email but I'm not interested in a long distance relationship.
I just think some sort of acknowledgement that I exist and they even received my message is important - technology isn't always that reliable. | |
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| Anger in River City
Posted: 5/14/2006 12:09:20 PM | Hey Krekker, so that's why I never get a response to the e-mails I send you, eh? j/k
Tink, Calgary | |
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| Anger in River City
Posted: 5/14/2006 12:55:22 PM | You were probably lucky you found out what type of person he really was before you invested alot of time in the relationship. My take would be that this person has very little to do if he is just sitting by his computer and expecting instant responses. If he is upset by the time lag that would send up a red flag whether or not he sent a nasty e-mail and blocked you.
On another note I read that so many men mention that women do not respond to their e-mails. I find this odd because my experience has been completely different. I would say I get aa response to 95% of my e-mails even without a photo. | |
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| Anger in River City
Posted: 5/14/2006 5:56:06 PM | | I've gotten emails too. My message window has a habit of closing by itself when I'm chatting to someone. It's not me, but guys really get pissed off. Doesn't take much for their tempers to flare. At least I know not to bother with them. | |
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| Anger in River City
Posted: 5/14/2006 6:19:05 PM | | Sounds to me like that kind of behavior is grounds for being banned from the site. Does the moderator have an opinion on this? | |
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| Anger in River City
Posted: 11/29/2008 6:33:38 PM | ...Umm, this thread is over two years old....I don't think Bull rhino is even on PoF anymore.
One thing for sure....watch the forums and what people post, it's gives you a peek at their character/personality.
...maeflowers | |
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| Anger in River City
Posted: 11/29/2008 9:39:49 PM | OP: The man and his behavior as described indicates someone with problems, so I wouldn't say 'people' behave like this when they don't get what they want: some people do, people with personality problems.
watch the forums and what people post, it's gives you a peek at their character/personality.
I agree with this to some extent, but only a 'peek'.....not enough to really understand or know what a person is about. | |
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| Anger in River City
Posted: 11/29/2008 10:43:54 PM | One thing for sure....watch the forums and what people post, it's gives you a peek at their character/personality. {msg. 22}
I believe this to be very true, Ms. Maeflowers. I've always thought that a person's profile was like the front lawn of their house -- carefully manicured, done up to give the best possible view to all those who might be looking. But if you really want to get to know about a person, go around to the back lawn -- what people post in the forums -- for it is there that they are most like their true selves.
w.r.t. the topic at hand and the example ... I had an experience like this quite a while back. I received a very nice first e-mail from what appeared to be a lovely woman. I was having a particularly brutal week with work and other life issues, and I read her e-mail, but decided to wait a couple of days until I was in a better mood to write her something as nice as what she had written to me. On the morning that I was going to write her when I got home, I got an extremely nasty and angry e-mail from her, blasting me for not writing her back, calling me a number of rather nasty adjectives. When I wrote back to offer an explanation, she had blocked me.
The phrase 'dodged a bullet' sure came to mind that day.
cdn guy | |
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| Anger in River City
Posted: 11/29/2008 10:51:52 PM | cdn: I agree, her angry response was not called for and probably indicates something about her personality which makes her someone to avoid.
However, it is nice to have someone write and say, I'm tied up now, or whatever, but want to respond and will get back to you in a couple of days. Just something brief, acknowledging the email and that you want to get in touch.
Just a thought.  | |
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You are absolutely right, Bull Rhino.