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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 5/14/2006 4:41:36 PM | I've noticed several profiles in which the woman states that the potential man should or must have a job, car, house. I am wondering, are there so many unemployed, carless, men living on the streets or with their parents that are looking for love that this is a problem, or are these women gold-diggers? And how much does this site being totally free affect this?
I'm really just wondering what these women mean by this. What do you PoFer's think?  | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 5/14/2006 4:49:37 PM | they don't say 'must have job with over 100 000 annual income', right?:)
I think it is normal to want to meet a man who can take care of himself. If guy can not find a job - is something wrong with him. Very wrong. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 5/14/2006 5:11:58 PM | I have to agree with Gracie on this one . I know she is a female But hey she is right. If you have all that money stacked back that worries you maybe you should lie on your profile tell them you are homeless destitute and are willing to live with them  | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 5/14/2006 5:37:47 PM | woman states that the potential man should or must have a job, car, house
Don't act like you would be fine with a woman who has nothing.
If you have squat, find a woman who has squat as well, and you can both live happily ever after taking public transit from your ghetto trailer to the food bank. I, for one, am not going to drive a man around and pay for his share on dates. Pfft.
Isn't it funny how the men who have no money are the ones who call women gold-diggers?? Hmm... A man has to have gold (and plenty of it) before a woman can try to dig it up. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 5/14/2006 6:00:48 PM |
A man has to have gold (and plenty of it) before a woman can try to dig it up.
You go girl and yea I wouldn't want to did up just a little gold and hey if you got it don't flaunt it if you don't want someone to know GEEEEZ come on
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 5/14/2006 6:02:17 PM | Pockets of plaid...we women folk aren't gold-diggers. I for one am just looking for someone who has built a life for himself as I have. I've struggled to build a life for myself... and damn proud of that and I'm not the least bit interested in a man who has moved back in with his parents, siblings, friends. I'm also not the least bit concerned about how much a man has... materiality means nothing to me but a man does have to have independence, stability and hootspa to make it on his own.
And yeah... you'd be surprised at how many men in their mid 40's are living with their parents, siblings, friends and even have the gall to have one of those parties help him with his profile and emails.... grrrrrrrr
We wo | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 5/14/2006 6:06:02 PM | | On the Match dot com the women can and many do state that they want their date to make $100,000-150.000 annual income. Some are not that greedy and choose the "any" or some other option such as $75.00-100,000. A man can also state what income in a woman would be acceptable to him and also state what he earns. At least you know right away what they expect, that's a good thing. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 5/14/2006 6:42:30 PM | | Why do people always take this to mean the extreme of each side. You don't have to make $100,000+ a year to live comfortably. When women always come back about the guy complaining, they always act like he is on welfare or has a part time job making less than $12,000 a year in a trailer park. There is a very big range between poverty and being rich. I think most guys when they bring this topic up are in the $25,000-$50,000 range and live a normal non-trashy life. They just don't have a high status glamour job that women seem to crave. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 5/14/2006 7:04:29 PM | | Something like 90% of women looking online report a lower limit of 100K. The bottom 90% are looking for the top 10%. Wealth matters a lot to most women. They also have other requirements, but wealth is not optional, and that is why many of them remain single. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 5/14/2006 7:19:00 PM | I would think that pretty much ANY guy (who isn't a college student) who is 19 or over should have a car and a job. If he doesn't, I would really wonder why he doesn't...
A house is a different matter; if a guy is divorced, he may be living in an apartment to save some $. Hard to make a blanket statement. I don't think that expecting a guy to be self supporting is gold-digging. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 5/14/2006 7:21:09 PM | Like was said before, I think it's just a matter of wanting someone who will bring something to the table. And, sure you can say you don't work but you "get by", but let's be honest, what does it say about a guy who is a grown man and doesn't work? Sure, he may be laid-off and trying to get back on his feet. Things happen. But, you have to look at it from here stand point:
No job usually means = I will have to pay for the dates, movies and everything else most of the time. Surely he can't afford it, he doesn't have a steady income or a J.O.B.
No house or own place usually means = We will always have to stay at my place or get a hotel room if we decided to get intimate. So, if we aren't at my place, we can't just sit around and catch the game or rent a movie. Well, atleast not while his partents are home or still up... - Now, to your defense, the same could be said if he/she has a roommate right?
No Car usually means = either I drive ALL the time or we will have to take the cab, bus or train. So, what if he lives on the other side of town, I have to go drive 30 minutes or so, pick him up, then we drive another 30 minutes or so, have our date, fun, etc... then i have to take him home, then drive back home myself. Trust me, unless you live in a part of town where it's easier/cheaper for you not to have a car due to parking issues or maybe your job is just a bus or 2 ride away, i don't see many women being so understanding about you not having a car. Sad but this is the way it is with alot of people, men and women.
I know at this point, I would prefer someone with their own place, even if there are roommates involved, it's still their place.
And, no job...well, to be honest, I'll past. Hard to have a 50/50 relationship when you will pretty much be paying for most of the date and everything else.
And, no car.. Well, unless you live pretty close, again, i'll pass. Honestly, I hate driving as it is. I don't really want to have to pick you up, drop you off, and take to to point B from point A EVERY single time we go out. Sometimes, even most of the time, sure. But EVERYTIME... | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 5/14/2006 7:31:01 PM | | When you let them know you live with a roommate and they find out you don't own a house you don't hear anything more from them. I will never tell them what I have in assets, I don't flaunt what I have or don't have. I have a fairly new car and don't owe anyone anything, that's all they need to know for a while. Many women that want a wealthy man has to prove it to them or they are gone never to be heard from again, but they themselves took the house and half or more of their spouses wealth when they divorced, and now they are desperately trying to hold on to the house before the bank takes it. They just like to spend money on getting their nails and hair done every other week, eating out every night, getting expensive cars, jewelry, but they won't open their wallets when you go out with them. I have seen it all. I'm not saying there are no good women here. They are hard to find because most of they are married and not on these sites. | |
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ksue44
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Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 13 | |
| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 5/14/2006 8:09:20 PM | A woman is only after your cash if you allow her to be.
Each of us wants a potential mate that is fiscally responsible, has goals in life (besides watching TV or living @ home with Mom & Dad), or spending all that hard cash at the bars. I believe most men want women who are wise money managers instead of spending their paychecks just to accumulate 300 pairs of shoes in their closets. It really does work both ways.
Face it, men are wired to find women with fantastic looks and women are wired when it comes down to financial security. Financial security doesn't mean you have to have 4 Hummers; a helicopter; 3 houses in the world.
I don't indicate that in my profile, but I've been taken to the cleaners by an ex BF that he worked so damn hard at not working. I can guarantee that I won't date a fella who doesn't have his financial house in order, if that means being employed (working for someone or owning his own business), knowing what his FICO score is, filing his income tax returns on time as well as correctly, etc. he'd better be financially saavy. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 5/14/2006 8:11:55 PM | Don't act like you would be fine with a woman who has nothing.
Money isn't everything, and I would be fine with a woman who has little financially but has an intrinsic value that can not be equalled with monetary wealth.
If you have squat, find a woman who has squat as well, and you can both live happily ever after taking public transit from your ghetto trailer to the food bank.
You would be surprised how happy a person can be who has nothing in posessions and does not value posessions. One hundred and fifty years ago a man who kept a roof over his families head and food in their stomachs was successful, now you are being picky over what type of roof it is and what type of food it is.
I, for one, am not going to drive a man around and pay for his share on dates. Pfft.
Being generous and able to share are good traits. Granted some people will seek to take advantage of those who are happy to give, but I would rather live with that risk then to carry around a mentality that everyone is looking to take advantage.
Isn't it funny how the men who have no money are the ones who call women gold-diggers?? Hmm... A man has to have gold (and plenty of it) before a woman can try to dig it up.
Well the man with little money will feel the sting of women who require a certain ammount of money before they will date them. Where as men who have the money have a rougher time weeding out who are the gold diggers and who love them for them. I would rather come off as poor than rich just for that reason alone.
I think women have a rough time communicating that they want a man who is responsible for his money and don't want to be someone's sugar momma. It comes off more that you are a gold digger when you make money an issue. It is just a subject that doesn't need to be discussed until you are in a relationship, not when you first start getting to know someone. That way it is easier to know where you are coming from because the man will know your personality. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 5/14/2006 8:15:27 PM | I don't state that in my profile but i'd prefer that because I'd like a man who can take care of himself. I don't need/want him to take care of me but if he can gain those things for himself it shows a level for potential maturity and independence and all kinds of non-superficial qualities that would be harder to find in someone who couldn't manage to hold a job/car/even apartment.
and Bull- WHERE did you get these statistics? it makes me LMAO off how you just happen to know eeeeeverything. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 5/14/2006 8:33:18 PM |
: Why do people always take this to mean the extreme of each side. You don't have to make $100,000+ a year to live comfortably. When women always come back about the guy complaining, they always act like he is on welfare or has a part time job making less than $12,000 a year in a trailer park. There is a very big range between poverty and being rich. I think most guys when they bring this topic up are in the $25,000-$50,000 range and live a normal non-trashy life. They just don't have a high status glamour job that women seem to crave.
It depends on where you live too. $35k where I am in South Carolina will provide a life style that requires $70-80k in places like New York City and San Francisco. There are differences in what women are attracted too, and some women will really like a man who is driven by career and monetary success. I know what it takes to be career driven, it is a massive ammount of time and dedication, and I would rather live my life outside of work rather than at work.
I will do what I can to move up and make myself more financially secure as long as it fits within a 40-50 hour work week. My father started his own business and retired with good wealth and a very comfortable lifestyle. It took a lot of risk, stress and 60-80 hour work weeks for 25 years of his life. Some women may want the man that is career driven but when it ends up meaning that all they do is eat, sleep, and drink their career they find that their other areas of their lives that miss that extra time spent at the job.
I think that the women who are attracted to the career man, see it as a way to identify the winner or alpha male. He is more successful, must be smarter, stronger, wiser, etc. It is fair to a point, and if that is what they are attracted too, there isn't anything you can say or do to tell them otherwise. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 5/14/2006 8:40:10 PM | | I want one who is either already wealthy, happily working on it, content without it, or some other combination that doesn't place her financial insecurity at my feet as a burden to pick up. There is a hideous tradition of women attaching to men like monkeys on elephants, poking them with sharp sticks trying to get them to produce wealth. I have compassion for people who feel trapped and frightened about money, I just don't want one needling my hide about it. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 5/14/2006 8:54:29 PM | | I would want a guy who has a job, nothing big but making enough to support himself, this tells me he is independent and living a somewhat stable life. As for a car and house? I am 29 and am just getting around to getting my beginers license, I have reasons as to why I have waited to get my license, so if he has no car, I am ok with it as long as he has intentions of getting one in the future like myself. As for a house, this would not bother me one bit if he does or dosen't, if he lives with his parents or shares a place with roomates, again as long as he has intentions of having it in the future. A job, car, and house is what you need if you want to be a stable couple and to start a family. It all comes down to both the man and woman together having these things whether it be now or later so they can provide a decent life for themselves and their family. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 5/14/2006 8:57:25 PM | | This is just too funny. Hey guys, there are plenty of women out there that are not gold-diggers. It's possible that some of the women making these demands are looking for someone to take advantage of, but maybe they've been as burned as you have and are just being cautious? | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 5/14/2006 9:04:56 PM | | Now wait. I don't have a car, I don't have a house. I have two jobs, and I'm a full time student. I'm taking care of myself, but I also get thrown out with the bathwater. Does that seem right? | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 5/14/2006 9:21:47 PM |
Now wait. I don't have a car, I don't have a house. I have two jobs, and I'm a full time student. I'm taking care of myself, but I also get thrown out with the bathwater. Does that seem right?
Does not seem right to me Peachy! I would never throw you out, bathwater or dishwater I'd keep ya! | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 5/14/2006 9:23:25 PM | you folks are putting out some great responses, thanks. Just to tell you where I am coming from, I do have a car, job, and house, I've tried going at it with my own business, I don't file my returns on time, I have horrible book keeping skills, but I'm doing pretty well. I don't feel like most women are gold diggers, but I had noticed that some people want that 100k+ income on match. I don't make that much, but I do alright.
for me, financial stress is the one stress that I don't handle very well at all. My folks never made much growing up, and I was the first person in my family to get a degree. I am proud of the small successes I've achieved, and I don't entirely feel threatened by these requests.
I'm guessing I would be suprized by how many 30-40 year olds are living with their parents, luckily, I am not one of them.
one profile I saw had the gal's profession as "Keeper of all the money!!", lol although, I'll admit she was only 20. kinda funny though. perhaps she works at a bank? | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 5/14/2006 9:26:32 PM | gee why is it when women find out im a homeowner they suddenly fall in love and want me to put their name on my house. hmmmm sounds like they are after a free ride.
why is it all women put down on these dating sites $100,000+ yearly income, because they dont want to work and just want to rip guys off.
why is it women get offended when a guy ask if a women has a car and a job? why is it when you say im not going to support you or drive you all over town they get mad? hmmm sounds like they only want a free ride in life. | |
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