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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > MEN THAT LOVE OTHER MEN WHILE THEY ARE MARRIED      Home login  
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 rfle
Joined: 12/30/2005
Msg: 1
MEN THAT LOVE OTHER MEN WHILE THEY ARE MARRIEDPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I WOULD LIKE SOME ADVICE ABOUT WHEN A MAN LOVES ANOTHER MAN WHILE THEY ARE MARRIED. AND YOU FEEL YOU JUST CAN'T LET GO OF HIM. BUT THE LOVE IS DIFFERENT BETWEEN THEM. WHAT WOULD YOU DO? SHOULD YOU BREAK IT OFF WITH THE MAN OR JUST REMAIN BEST FRIENDS?
 Funny_Girl
Joined: 10/27/2005
Msg: 2
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MEN THAT LOVE OTHER MEN WHILE THEY ARE MARRIED
Posted: 5/15/2006 6:13:27 AM
Oh, how I've tried to comprehend your words, but I'm left not knowing which way to go.

Help?
 CRUSH61
Joined: 12/16/2005
Msg: 3
MEN THAT LOVE OTHER MEN WHILE THEY ARE MARRIED
Posted: 5/15/2006 6:14:25 AM
WOW-i can't even come up with my usual sarcastic humor! Don't know what to say to this one...
 Brownsugar1313
Joined: 4/16/2006
Msg: 4
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MEN THAT LOVE OTHER MEN WHILE THEY ARE MARRIED
Posted: 5/15/2006 6:15:14 AM
This is such a loaded question and it has been such an issue in society. So many men are living on the DL otherwise known as the down low and some have been doing it for many years. It would be selfish to stay with someone knowing that you are emotionally committed to someone else.
My advice would be to talk things through and if you both come to the conclusion that you are better apart than you are together, then stay friends. However some women cannot handle just being friends especially if the man is someone who they truly love and thought they would end up spending the rest of their lives with. If children are involved it gets even more complicated.
I would have to ask myself some serious questions, like who is benefitting from this lifestyle?
What about diseases especially if they haven't been discreet by using protection, is it fari to put myself in harm's way like that?
And basically, will I be happy only being half a wife?
I mean is it ok for me to stay married on paper but not being able to satisfy him sexually.
If I come out with more cons than pros I would leave him.
As for being friends, that takes time. get over the hurt and betrayal first and if you are left with the feeling that you can still communicate with him then fine. Just be prepared to feel moments of jealousy and anger even if you happen to see them with someone else.....
You could end up back in that place asking...what does he have that I dont?
 Angelle_in_disguise
Joined: 5/2/2006
Msg: 5
MEN THAT LOVE OTHER MEN WHILE THEY ARE MARRIED
Posted: 5/15/2006 8:57:14 AM
Hmmm...reminds me of a movie I just watched a couple of days ago..."Broke-back Mountain".

No, I don't think one should stay in a marriage, if they love someone else...regardless of whether that love is "different" or not. Some people believe that because they love a same-sex partner...it' not really cheating on your S.O. ....it is.

Put yourself in the place of your wife/husband. Would you say it's alright if they're doing the same thing to you? I doubt it. The only person one would be fooling....is themselves.
 7times
Joined: 10/27/2005
Msg: 6
MEN THAT LOVE OTHER MEN WHILE THEY ARE MARRIED
Posted: 5/15/2006 8:59:09 AM
Just dump his as*, get his money and stuff and don't worry about it.. No matter how you word it or mix the genders its still cheating.
 articblitz
Joined: 5/8/2006
Msg: 7
MEN THAT LOVE OTHER MEN WHILE THEY ARE MARRIED
Posted: 5/15/2006 9:02:05 AM
Sick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 Friendlyguy5
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 8
MEN THAT LOVE OTHER MEN WHILE THEY ARE MARRIED
Posted: 5/15/2006 9:06:38 AM
Relationships are about trust and honesty, regardless of sexual orientation. Know yourself, and what you want. Be honest with yourself and your partner(s).
 goodguy4uladies
Joined: 1/23/2006
Msg: 9
MEN THAT LOVE OTHER MEN WHILE THEY ARE MARRIED
Posted: 5/15/2006 9:10:07 AM
A man that is married is off limits. If he truly loved you, he'd tell his wife and seek a divorce to be with you. If he chooses to stay married, then it's time to move on to another man.
 triker1
Joined: 2/2/2005
Msg: 10
MEN THAT LOVE OTHER MEN WHILE THEY ARE MARRIED
Posted: 5/15/2006 9:17:45 AM
well It all depends what kind of love you are reffering to If it a friend or a father type love It dose state in the big book we should love our neibor as we would love thy mother and father but If your talking about the other kind well that is a sin and you probably should turn and run the other way and don't look back there are plenty of guys out there that will love you the one he married
 sugarb01
Joined: 12/26/2005
Msg: 11
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MEN THAT LOVE OTHER MEN WHILE THEY ARE MARRIED
Posted: 5/16/2006 2:52:05 PM
sick, sick,sick
 bettyrocker01
Joined: 8/12/2005
Msg: 12
MEN THAT LOVE OTHER MEN WHILE THEY ARE MARRIED
Posted: 5/16/2006 3:23:40 PM
I think you better ask your WIFE what she thinks about it instead of us.
 AnnudderVoice
Joined: 2/26/2006
Msg: 13
MEN THAT LOVE OTHER MEN WHILE THEY ARE MARRIED
Posted: 5/16/2006 3:27:43 PM
Yay for betty!

Always check that profile before responding.

OT - This is a discussion you should have with your wife, not a bunch of strangers who know little of the circumstances.

Not my cup of tea, but if you don't have that talk it could be your cup of poison.

Annudder
 angelinkilleen
Joined: 3/6/2006
Msg: 14
MEN THAT LOVE OTHER MEN WHILE THEY ARE MARRIED
Posted: 5/21/2006 4:30:08 PM
OKAY,,, FIRST OFF YUCKY,,AND SECOND IF IT WAS MY MAN,,""" LARENA BOBIT,""",, SO FOR HIS SAKE HE BETTER HOPE HE WAS THE BOTTOM,,,, SIMPLE ENOUGH
 Big Red Flag
Joined: 5/21/2006
Msg: 15
MEN THAT LOVE OTHER MEN WHILE THEY ARE MARRIED
Posted: 5/21/2006 5:44:30 PM
The order orfmoral and ethical concerns is:

1. Integrity
2. Respect for your spouse
3. Respect for your marriage
4. Acceptance of yourself
5. Compassion for all involved


Gay or bisexual orientation isn't a special case giving you a license to have a discreet affair. The only route on this one is to be honest with your spouse, settle the issue in the relationship, nothing outside the marriage until that is done.
 AREALANGEL
Joined: 2/5/2006
Msg: 16
MEN THAT LOVE OTHER MEN WHILE THEY ARE MARRIED
Posted: 5/21/2006 6:58:18 PM
Your crossing the bounderies of love...Make sure you get an AIDS test when necessary...always use condoms with your wife..it's not love..it's lust..
 SUCKAFISH
Joined: 2/10/2006
Msg: 17
MEN THAT LOVE OTHER MEN WHILE THEY ARE MARRIED
Posted: 5/21/2006 8:28:42 PM
o dear
o dear o dear O DEAR
^THAT is NOT nice^
 jerryspringer
Joined: 3/5/2006
Msg: 18
MEN THAT LOVE OTHER MEN WHILE THEY ARE MARRIED
Posted: 5/21/2006 8:36:20 PM
I'm a little confused here. He is married, to a woman I presume, but is in love with another man? I'm assuming that you mean more than loving one as a brother. If this is the case, I think he is not sure as to his sexuallity. Is he gay, is he bi, or ? If he is seeing someone else and engaging in sexual stuff, then he is cheating on his wife, does not matter if the other person is a man or woman. The one I feel sorry for in this situation is his wife, which I'm guessing probably has no idea what is going on.
 ~iiCe~
Joined: 7/26/2005
Msg: 19
MEN THAT LOVE OTHER MEN WHILE THEY ARE MARRIED
Posted: 5/21/2006 8:38:20 PM
ummm.... I don't share... I don't care what the other person is that he is seeing... one and one makes two.... one and one and one makes me leave...

and ewwwww..... if my man needs d1ck... I am not the girl for him... ewwwww.....
 nipoleon
Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 20
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MEN THAT LOVE OTHER MEN WHILE THEY ARE MARRIED
Posted: 5/21/2006 8:55:47 PM
OH MY... OH MY. You mean a married person is CHEATING with someone else ??
I've never heard of THAT before. You must be the first person in history who's ever done it !
Good Grief people ! Get off the homophobia.
The married guy should be honest about it with his wife and see what she want's to do.
Chances are no matter what, he's still going to cheat anyway, whether she stays or goes.
Can she accept it or not ? It's up to her.
 VictorNorth
Joined: 5/21/2006
Msg: 21
MEN THAT LOVE OTHER MEN WHILE THEY ARE MARRIED
Posted: 5/21/2006 9:06:14 PM
ummm...what does a vow mean when you got married? When does that vow become meaningless? When is it appropriate for a person's word to become worthless? When is it okay to force your spouse to be at risk for HIV and STD's? Answer those questions, and you've answered your post.
 Red Clover
Joined: 7/28/2005
Msg: 22
MEN THAT LOVE OTHER MEN WHILE THEY ARE MARRIED
Posted: 5/21/2006 10:52:27 PM
I think you married a woman, did you not know you were gay?

"I wish I could quit you!"
 Red Clover
Joined: 7/28/2005
Msg: 23
MEN THAT LOVE OTHER MEN WHILE THEY ARE MARRIED
Posted: 5/21/2006 10:53:15 PM
I think you married a woman, did you not know you were gay?
A lot of people could get hurt. I think steps should be taken to end at least one of the relationships.
 hapeenurse
Joined: 5/5/2006
Msg: 24
MEN THAT LOVE OTHER MEN WHILE THEY ARE MARRIED
Posted: 5/21/2006 10:56:23 PM

It sounds like someone is going to get a bum deal


heh literally and figuratively.

unless your wife is cool with a bisexual (or gay) husband then I think you'll lose at least one of them. You owe it to her to tell her, otherwise you're just a cheater like any other.
 SUCKAFISH
Joined: 2/10/2006
Msg: 25
MEN THAT LOVE OTHER MEN WHILE THEY ARE MARRIED
Posted: 5/22/2006 10:25:31 AM
^makes EXCELLENT point^

i do think that folks-including/ESPECIALLY
YOU...
are getting 'hung up', distracted by the element
of homo/bi sexuality

if you are stepping out,forming relations with ANYone
OUTside of your MARRIAGE?
you are CHEATING
cheating your wife
cheating your 'other partner/s'
cheating yourSELF

OWN UP, FACE your life,yer wife,your SELF
you KNOW it MUST be done
DO IT
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