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 tufflilmutt
Joined: 2/7/2006
Msg: 1
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WOMEN AND DISABLED MENPage 1 of 1    
I'd like to know womens opinions on dating; intimate (sexual) relationships with physically disabled men.
I'm a WHEELCHAIR PILOT; there are going to be a lot of men coming back from the war with various injuries; disabilities...spinal cord injuries (like myself), amputations; so on.
Have any of you had any experiences with physically disabled men?
What was/is it like? Whether it was satisfying or not...please be honest; mature in your responses.

BTW...Men are encouraged to think about this as it applies to women with physical disabilities too!
 Wolfie1972
Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 2
WOMEN AND DISABLED MEN
Posted: 5/4/2007 5:07:37 PM
You make it sound like they are different from everyone else....
 jetx35
Joined: 4/22/2007
Msg: 3
WOMEN AND DISABLED MEN
Posted: 5/6/2007 12:11:01 PM
Well I can say brother is I too have a sci and am always upfront on my profiles and have had a terible time meeting anyone serious. I have no problems with disabled women. I do have a funny story though, I meet this girl on here who said she suffered from a TBI. She said she lived with her mom, grandma and that she helped around the house. I thought we hit it off pretty well then she just disappeared. She finally wrote back that she had found someone else, lol.
 corb617
Joined: 2/27/2007
Msg: 4
WOMEN AND DISABLED MEN
Posted: 5/7/2007 2:24:07 PM
tufflilmutt everyone is a human being and everyone should think of THAT first. So what if you have disability. Just means you both may have to do a little creative thinking on how to accomplish something. If someone cares about you they will do whatever it takes to make you happy. In today's society there are MANY ways to make each other happy. If you have a partner that cares and will do anything to please their partner then you don't have to worry about HOW, but when.

My husband was 100% disabled for 3 years. He was dependent on oxygen 24/7 with NO lung capacity. He needed a lung transplant. Had 5 oxygen leads at all times...SOOO like I said where there's a will there's a way. GO FOR IT...life is to short not to enjoy everyday. If one person doesn't want to go there so what. You WILL find someone that WILL. NEVER GIVE UP.... GOD BLESS ALL OUR SOLDIERS....and prayers for all disabled people no matter what the disability.
 CoolBrowneyes
Joined: 4/7/2006
Msg: 5
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WOMEN AND DISABLED MEN
Posted: 5/10/2007 11:34:40 AM
Ok want to say this the right way here. HOPEFULLY !!
I am a Nurse , I have seen plenty and one thing that IRKS the mud out of me is people that use their disability as an excuse to live a life of sorrow.. true , I am not disabled and I do not know what you are going through emotionally at times. BUT this much I do know :

1- I have danced with a man that had one leg and used a crutch to steady himself. Was it out of pity that I danced with him ? NO .. I like his company and he enjoyed life .

2- I danced with a man that was in a wheelchair. When I got tired , I sat in his lap and we slow danced, he had both legs missing. He was very good with that wheelchair and still is.

3- I played basketball with a guy with one arm and one foot. He beat the tar out of me and I thought I was good!! He was BETTER.

4-I know a couple who have 3 children , he is in a wheelchair the children are HIS.. Hello , that tell you anything?

Disablities come in all forms and are caused from many things . You have the young lady that is scared of her own shadow and will not come out of her room. A young man that was beat up by a gang of thugs and is now afraid to look anyone in the eye . A very young child that was mistreated by an adult and had so much sorry in his little life till he sits and looks at the wall .

As an adult we know all these things but sometimes we fail to look at the person as a whole. I personally have no qualms dating a person with physical limitions . I have done it. They are human with feelings the same as anyone else.

I have friends that are limited to what they can do. So I adjust myself to what they are able to do. Going fishing? Sure I will bait your hook , want to take a drive around town and you cannot drive.. Hey , no problem , lets go , I will drive. Your helment is hot because you have to wear it all the time .. I will wipe your brow......

Hope that I have not upset anyone by this . BUT we do have Men and Women that are disabled and more coming home . Let's make them welcomed. They have changed inside as well as outside , but they are still human !!!.... Ok getting off my soap box now...
 CoolBrowneyes
Joined: 4/7/2006
Msg: 6
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WOMEN AND DISABLED MEN
Posted: 5/10/2007 12:09:38 PM
Forgot something here ... For the guy that beat me in basketball . I KNOW you are going to read this forum and I want a rematch.. You cheated.

For my dancing partners ... You know I love you all to pieces and looking forward to the next time...
 sealover55
Joined: 8/24/2006
Msg: 7
WOMEN AND DISABLED MEN
Posted: 5/10/2007 12:37:21 PM
Corb and Cool BE's I would just like to say...................... the 2 of you said it all
Thank you,

~sea~
 CoolBrowneyes
Joined: 4/7/2006
Msg: 8
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WOMEN AND DISABLED MEN
Posted: 5/12/2007 7:16:45 PM
Thanks ~~sea~~~.. Wish more people could understand
 CoolBrowneyes
Joined: 4/7/2006
Msg: 9
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WOMEN AND DISABLED MEN
Posted: 5/18/2007 6:08:07 AM
Ok , to my dancing partners. I will be up that way this evening... Got your emails and looking forward to seeing everyone again... ..P.S... Basket ball man... You are gonna be beat this afternoon... better have yourself ready...Cause I am all pumped up over the rematch!!!!!!!!!
 corb617
Joined: 2/27/2007
Msg: 10
WOMEN AND DISABLED MEN
Posted: 5/20/2007 1:30:31 PM
COOL who won the rematch????
 CoolBrowneyes
Joined: 4/7/2006
Msg: 11
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WOMEN AND DISABLED MEN
Posted: 6/29/2007 6:57:34 PM
HE won the rematch.. BUT only because I got distracted ..I think there was a rat in the woodpile !! ...But fun was had by all and we will do it again only NEXT time.. Everyone will be full of food and kicked back.. ( got that Mr. Basket Ball Man!) ....... To everyone..
 peter000
Joined: 9/2/2007
Msg: 12
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WOMEN AND DISABLED MEN
Posted: 9/23/2007 2:35:23 PM
Friend,
Im a disabled person, or should I say, A man with a disability, and it dont make a darn bit of difference whether your disabled or not, and if there's some who say it makes a difference they not US who aren't worth knowing to start with.
I think we need to stop feeling sorry for our selves and focus on being involve in our communities, and who know some hot young woman might even notice, and let nature take its course.
Same thing with race it dont make a difference there either, as long shes not a nag, or control freak good things can happen.
 msjazz25
Joined: 3/11/2008
Msg: 13
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WOMEN AND DISABLED MEN
Posted: 1/24/2011 5:52:48 PM
lusty busty Red head ....sounds like u just want a whit woman...have u dated someone that is handicap?
 Just 4 You
Joined: 1/25/2005
Msg: 14
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WOMEN AND DISABLED MEN
Posted: 4/13/2011 3:53:29 AM
I got diagnosed with Epilepsy at age 10 (1970), which resulted in my being sexually fixed in my teens. Being under legal age I had no say in the matter. All the Healthcare system needed was a signature from my parents to do whatever they felt was best.

I also got declaired Unemployable, Not allowed to get a Driver's License, and Not Allowed to get Married. I know the third one sounds stupid, but in 2008 I tried to get a Marriage License for my girlfriend and I (we both had epilepsy), and the Police got involved, sending me to the Sex Offender Program where I was forced to accept that it's wrong. We can be friends, but that's all.

Not Fair!!!

Just 4 You
 Msgrasshopper2010
Joined: 7/22/2010
Msg: 15
WOMEN AND DISABLED MEN
Posted: 7/6/2011 9:06:53 PM
I had to look at your profile to see where you live since I've never heard of such! I had at least two friends/colleagues in Texas that had epilepsy. One was a coach; the other was a part of the music department. Before I left there, both were married. I hate it that those decisions were made for you out of ignorance.
 WolfDaddy888
Joined: 4/24/2011
Msg: 16
WOMEN AND DISABLED MEN
Posted: 7/22/2011 1:22:08 PM
Msgrasshopper? Why in the world are you calling yourself a grasshopper? lol I liked your other name better
 suds00
Joined: 2/5/2011
Msg: 17
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Posted: 8/11/2011 1:27:18 PM
it is good to know that people with handicaps are human.i think that this kind of attitude seperates people.i applaud your relationships with those who are differently-abled.
 Passion to last
Joined: 1/16/2010
Msg: 18
WOMEN AND DISABLED MEN
Posted: 11/14/2011 11:11:21 AM
I personally dated a handicapped guy for over 6 months. He was more hung up on his disability than I was. He had major walking issues and several types of crippling arthritis. When we first started dating he was so sure of himself but the longer we dated the more hung up on it he got. We are still good friends and could have been much more but he had this Not Wanting to be a Problem attitude and it became a serious problem. You love with your heart, not your eyes..... If you can feel good about yourself then there is a Special someone out there just for you.
 TxWriter
Joined: 12/27/2010
Msg: 19
WOMEN AND DISABLED MEN
Posted: 11/23/2011 11:42:33 AM
Being disabled does seem to limit my interaction with the opposite sex. I find that they mostly wind up being my friend. I know a lot of women who say they want to START OUT as friends, but I cherish my friends, so taking that step into the realm of relationships is not one I'm generally going to take. I have had more success when the friendship grew alongside the romance. Where we knew going in we're actually trying for something bigger than "hey buddy, old pal o mine!" (On that note, I think the best/worst rejection I ever personally experienced was in high school. I asked this girl out. She was a sweet girl, mind you. Not one of the normal "stuck up" girls like you see in some of these movies. We actually were (I thought) good friends. So I asked her out. She giggled, patted me on the head like I was a DOG and said "Awww, how cuuuuutttte!" Not sure whether to slap her or cry, I settled on merely rolling away and in the days that followed, just acted like nothing was wrong.

I don't do the club and bar scene. I tried dancing but found I have 2 left wheels (badumpbump). Being a writer, I tend to get quiet if too many people are around. I find myself instinctively "people watching." (Yes it's true. Be careful what you say to a writer. It will end up in our next novel! LOL)

I think a big problem with the women that I have dated is that they don't seem to "Get It". They don't seem to understand that the disability is not going away. I was born disabled. I'm going to DIE disabled. There will come a time when I will wake up and be able to run faster than Usain Bolt, but that morning will be the morning I arrive in Heaven. The women that I date don't understand. Some of the things I talk about needing aren't just me being selfish. They're me trying not to die or at the very least trying to minimize my daily struggles. It takes an extremely strong woman to actually wind up staying with a disabled man. In the day and age when Kim Kardashian is the Role Model of young girls, these women are going to be in shorter and shorter supply.

But yeah, in short, you're not alone.

 maples01
Joined: 3/12/2008
Msg: 20
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WOMEN AND DISABLED MEN
Posted: 12/18/2011 10:56:43 PM
I've been in a manual chair since 98, was married at the time, been single 4 years, haven't been on one date, I just changed my profile yet I'm up front in telling that I am in a wheelchair. It's no pity party, I'm not emotional over it, I make jokes a lot, I have a dark sense of humor, many get to laughing as I go into it. I'm starting to think people see us as either "awe bless your heart," or "oh man that's work," giving little chance to get to know you as a person, just the injury. People are floored when they hear I've done my own vehicle work, built an engine for a jacked up 4x4 truck and their only thought are "how do you get in that."
Life is easier when you have someone to share it with, we don't need a woman for nursing, we need kinship, sharing of emotions/feelings, something that just because we are disabled, we're not void of feeling.
 CPLforCPLorW
Joined: 8/24/2011
Msg: 21
WOMEN AND DISABLED MEN
Posted: 12/26/2011 6:27:01 PM
Hi tuffilmutt,

I'm in a wheelchair and married. We have a very active sex life. We just had to learn how to deal with our new challenges I'am very into orally pleasing my wife and she's very into recieving it. I know some can people will turn away from you because of your disability, but in our experience, we have many couples that will play with us. I had been with a woman that couldn't walk on her own. I enjoyed her very much! Email me if you'd like to talk more.
 truebloodguy
Joined: 8/22/2011
Msg: 22
WOMEN AND DISABLED MEN
Posted: 1/14/2012 11:52:13 AM
I have been in a wheelchair since I was 3 years old because of my Tendons in the back of my legs dont function properly, I have just come out of a 15 year relationship with someone and im amazed how people judge you by your disability! I am fit and healthy ( 26 mile Marathon ) all my other bits work (2 kids as proof ) but as soon as you start chatting with someone on POF and you drop the "Disability" bomb on them, its "ok I gotta go take care"
 WantsTantra
Joined: 7/4/2011
Msg: 23
WOMEN AND DISABLED MEN
Posted: 11/15/2012 12:14:31 PM
It's all bloody relative. I've found out there are some women I wouldn't date if I was healthy. I now use a wheelchair for long distances and when in crowds. I've even dated a few women who walked better than me but were unable to do the yab yum position for something simple like kissing. The only thing I can't do for myself is get up those pull down stairs to change the A/C filter or address a roof issue. (Maybe with more P.T.). I've even tried to befriend females on here with Parkinson's, cancer survivors, those who's mobility affected by brain tumors, I guess to get the yin/yang thing going, with no success. Forge on.
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