| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 5/15/2006 11:56:19 AM | Hello everyone,
My query today is the use of coupons and dating, whether it be first or second date. It's been a while since I was out actively dating, specifically in a situation where it is an "official date" versus the loosely bandied about attempt for my friends to hook me up with their friends in a group setting.
To be direct, I use coupons. :) I make great money, salary wise so it's not about pinching every penny so I can put food on the table. It's just a smart thing to do. I also drive a chic-magnet of a car: the Toyota Echo. Since my profile specifically says I'm not interested in people who list "Money, Power, Excess" as turnons, I'm not rattled by my these decisions. I like one post I read in these forums where you "catch what you bait your hook with" and I definitely bait my hook with lowkey honest goodness.
Still, I am curious to hear a woman's perspective on the issue of using coupons on dates.
Cheers,
PS: These are sit-down establishments, like a Japanese steakhouse or Thai restaurant, not simply-buy-one-burger, get-the-second-burger-free. :)
PPS: I'll also take a critique of my who-pays philosophy. If it's simple (like a lunch, or coffee), we go dutch. If it's fancier (restaurant, followed by ice skating), then whoever set the agenda gets to set the tone of either being dutch, or the agenda-maker's treat. Dutch is only cool in my book where it's well understood upfront, not a "gotcha" at the end.
P3S: Listen to my Dad - always keep $50 in cash in your wallet. (Goes for you ladies too) | |
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| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 5/15/2006 12:04:36 PM | I don't see anything wrong with coupons. I agree with most of the things you said, it's the smart thing to do. I'd like a guy who understand and manages his money well rather than one who just throws his money away. If I'm going to grow old with the guy, he has to be smart with money so that we can retire well, not work forever.
As far as who pays. I pretty much expect the guy to pay for the first few dates, but I always offer. Once we've gotten to know eachother, then I'd say whoever set the date should pay. | |
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| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 5/15/2006 12:41:14 PM | | Nothing wrong with coupons per se. But it does kinda say that you're cheap. When it comes to love, why be cheap? | |
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| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 5/15/2006 12:44:34 PM | ^^^Why is it cheap when he could use the money for something else on the date? He's just expanding the use of his money, IMO.
j4f | |
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| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 5/15/2006 12:50:46 PM | ^^^^
in life, persception is everything. Like I said, nothing wrong per se. But it can be persceived as cheap. | |
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| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 5/15/2006 12:56:38 PM | I'll just step up to the first step on my multi tiered soapbox and suggest that this attitude - "when it comes to love, why be cheap" strikes me as a materialistic view of the world that preys on one's emotions. It's the same reason why child adoptions run into the 10s of thousands of dollars, why "rose girls" are able to make a living, and why people feel the need to buy new cars every 3 years. (I feel the urge to do so also - I just have to work hard to resist it!)
Definitely, we both are entitled to our own opinions - and I asked for and am grateful for your insight. My retort (not to you, but to those individuals) is that hey, that's cool - but you're not the gal for me. | |
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| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 5/15/2006 12:57:22 PM | | WooZoo, Why be cheap when it comes to love? Simply put, why spend $100.00 on someone you may never see again. What's that old expression, " A fool and his money are soon parted. " Not everyone is honest in their intentions. | |
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| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 5/15/2006 1:02:53 PM | | Hey guys, just providing feedback as to what could be going on. The fact that you use coupons reminds me of my dad, who still does it. He's the best money manager I know. As I said nothing wrong with it. But some people would see it that way. | |
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| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 5/15/2006 1:49:05 PM | For me it all depends on the situation. I think that I would find it quite strange if a man asked me on a date and picked the place only to bring out a coupon and ask me to pay exactly half. I am by no means interested in men for their money- I would find it odd if a friend of mine did that. Here's why...
1. If the bill is cheap...ie under $20 then to me there is really no point in splitting it. If you're going for your wallet one person may as well pay the whole thing. Of course if you are both students or have limited income this is a different story- However, the OP says money is not an issue.
2. As for the coupon...what kind of coupon is this?...two for one...If I pay half and you use your coupon then am I the only one that is paying? It would matter if we were to share the benefits of this coupon or if you were to hoard it all yourself. I would wonder if you just picked this place because YOU had a coupon and not because you liked the atmosphere.
P.S. In case you were wondering, I paid for my last first date. | |
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| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 5/15/2006 2:03:16 PM | I would have to agree with some of that ^^^^. I would be thinking you picked the place because you had a coupon. And if this is your attempt at being charming (on first dates, everyone tries to be charming) what are things going to be like down the road???
I love coupons, don't get me wrong. But on the first few dates, I'd say no. If you're worried about spending money on someone you might not want to see again, suggest coffee for the first meeting, not a meal. Do something that in itself is cheap, not something that is going to cost more money then you feel you want to spend. It sends the message 'yes, I wanted to get together with you, but not enough to pay full price'. Call it right or wrong...you asked for opinions. Wait a few dates, then get excited you have a coupon and she'll think it's cute. | |
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| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 5/15/2006 2:13:26 PM | Firstly, I agree - it would be gauche to use a coupon and then split the bill! I never meant to suggest I would do that at all. :shudder: That would be very very tacky.
#1. True, for familar relationships. I do this all the time with my buddies, dating or no. I shall - gasp - actually rethink my approach here for small lunches / coffee shop dates. Thank you for sharing your enlightenment.
#2. The coupons are generally from _The Entertainment Book_. They are typically one free entree. And as I just mentioned, my intent is to use the coupon and pay. Double points for the good insight about the intent in picking the place (atmosphere v. coupon).
Finally, do you mean you paid for your most recent first date, or that you paid for your *last* first date? :)
PS: Always tip on the full dollar value of the meal! | |
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| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 5/15/2006 2:56:54 PM | The coupon rule is who brings the coupon eats free and the other one fumes but tries to pretend it doesn't bother them.
The other rules are covered by: whoever wants sex the most, pays for the date. | |
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| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 5/15/2006 3:46:07 PM | Toyota echo ewwwww. chick magnet...ewwwww....don't think so I drive a 92'dodge and it ain't no chick magnet.....
On a first or even second date, ain't no way I would use coupons, I would just feel
so dang cheap,ambarrassed and stupid.
Your suppose to impress you date, by bringing her to a romantic restaurant, doesn't
have to be a rich place, but just simply romantic.
Jungle Jim is a very romantic restaurant to take someone on a date. It has a very romantic
setting and is perfect for making both parties feel at ease.
I never use coupons unless it's for groceries, and that is another idea for a date, cook a
romantic dinner for your date on the third date,wow that would be cool!
Knight Rider! | |
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| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 5/15/2006 5:10:14 PM | I hate to say this, but the girls that I've spend the LEAST amount of money on stayed with me helluvalot longer than the ones where I spent $100-$200 per date. The ones who appreciated and understood WHY I used discount cards (like Entertainment) are also the ones who (what I call) "live in the real world" and understand that "money doesn't grow on trees," so if you can save it, why not?? It really has nothing to do with if she'll like you more or less - that was already determined when she said "yes" to a date with you.
BTW, any woman who doesn't understand why people use coupons and thinks "it's cheap" is, frankly, not smart in my book. Despite popular belief, money shouldn't be thrown away - everything adds up. It's a powerful resource that you can save and use to elevate yourself in the future. How do people think the rich got rich?? They sure as hell didn't do it spending their $$ frivilously. :p
~Steve | |
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| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 5/15/2006 6:32:47 PM | is that like a two for one coupon??
how intriguing!!
laffs
two can dine for 9.99 | |
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| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 5/15/2006 7:28:21 PM | | I see absolutely no problem with using a coupon on a date, whether it's a man or woman. If I was on a date and she pulled out a twofer coupon, I'd be impressed that she took the time to do that....and if I was paying, I'd feel like she respects me through doing that. I don't need someone who makes a ton of money, but being responsible is very important to me. I could never have a future with a woman who doesn't know how to handle her money. Money isn't everything, but let's face it, if you marry you also marry the credit rating. | |
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| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 5/15/2006 7:35:15 PM | ohhh..we are talking about THOSE coupons!!..
oh my goodness.....how embarrassed am I now!! | |
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| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 5/15/2006 8:44:39 PM | Good grief... are some of you fellows actually spending $100 to $200 for a FIRST DATE? Whoa....!!!
As far as the Entertainment Book, yes, go for it - good deal and loads of fun! There some great restaurants in it for every budget, and it's nice to be able to take advantage of an upscale restaurant that you may have always wanted to try. Not to mention all the fun stuff around town to enjoy - amusement parks, movies, concerts, shopping, comedy clubs and very nice travel discounts!
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| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 6/5/2006 2:58:26 PM | I don't know if you're referring to me or not (since u quoted the $100-200 figure), but depending on where you're living (I'm around new york city), it's pretty easy to blow 100+ on a date. I'd NEVER spend that much on a FIRST date though - that'd just be stupid.
Like I said, oddly enough, the best relationships I've had are where I actually spent very little per date, so this observation sets a nice precendent for me in the future. :P | |
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| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 6/5/2006 3:07:25 PM | hahahaha wow I actually spent time reading this post....lol hmmmmm coupons you say, ko here's the deal, it's embarassing, not only for you but for the other person involved, but this embarassment only happens if you both care what other people think of you...I was at shoppers the other night with my aunt, mom, ect. and they pulled out all the coupons they could find, didn't bother me but other people would have walked away not wanting to be seen...so if both of you don't mind pulling out a few pieces of paper to save cash then hey by all means go for it!!!!!!  | |
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| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 6/5/2006 3:26:28 PM | | You pull out a cupon on our date and instantly you have gone up a notch in my books! Frugal.... puuuurrrrfect! I know alot of people whome just spend money like they have it when in reality most really dont. I like a penny pincher. Why the hell would you not save 5 - 10 - 15 bucks if you could just to save face! | |
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| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 6/5/2006 4:06:36 PM | | Don't mind the coupons, but not on the first few dates. If a date pulled out a coupon on a first date, I would think he might be cheap....foreshadowing a relationship full of money arguements. Yikes!! I'm all for saving money and being frugal, but I do not let discounts be the deciding factor of places I might go or things I might buy. While I enjoy eating a low fat diet, every once in awhile I have to endulge with cheesecake!! | |
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| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 6/5/2006 5:27:40 PM | | Ok now... dont be cheap man.. a girl likes to feel like shes worth the price of lunch...geeze.. and dutch for ice skating.. come on...... guess im just old fashioned that way | |
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| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 6/5/2006 6:36:53 PM | First date - no coupons - any date after that why not?! ~JMHO~  | |
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| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 6/6/2006 2:00:17 PM | | i have an entertainment book and i don't suggest using it until after the third date. | |
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