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Show ALL Forums  > Ontario  > ~Men love weak women... Women love strong men... ~      Home login  
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 ~Jenni-pooh~
Joined: 7/24/2005
Msg: 1
~Men love weak women... Women love strong men... ~Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I was reading a rather interesting article, actually more of a precis to an article from a book called: “The Man/Woman Book”. Surprise surprise! It got me thinking about a comment I made in another thread early this morning, which was:


For those of us who ARE looking for something more substantial, I guess we just have to be patient and trust that there are a few men out there who know what they want and aren't afraid of pursuing a strong woman.

I'm sure this might raise a few eyebrows, but it does seem that the stronger women around here are the ones who have less success when it comes to dating... When I think of my circle of friends, we're all balanced, successful, intelligent, funny women, the majority of us without a whole lot of baggage and no dependents....and very single!! Apparently that must not be the "in thing" these days either!

The following excerpt seems to resonate with my own experience and others I know personally... There’s always this struggle between men and women and I think we need to find that balance within ourselves (welcoming those shadows!!) before we can truly find happiness with someone else.


So here’s someone else’s take on it, a man named J. Bruce Evans from a few years ago:

Men love weak women;
Women love strong men.

Men fear strong women;
of them they say:
"She's a witch."

Women hate weak men:
of them they say:
"He's a wimp."


It is easier for a male to be a man with a weak woman than with a strong one. Her very weakness, whatever her other negative attributes, invites his natural hardness without threat. On the other hand, a strong woman, like any other competition, is a threat to his sense of himself.

Each person is a combination of maleness and femaleness, usually with one or the other predominating, but with certain elements of both genders present. Men have a female shadow; women have a male shadow. Men only become their fullest selves when they accept their femininity; women, when their own masculinity is also embraced.

Ideally, we embrace our own gender characteristics more fully, becoming less threatened by our shadowed selves. Then men can take delight in women's strength, while women enjoy man's weakness--all this on the path toward love.


Just thought I'd bring some thought-provoking ideas to this neck of the woods for anyone who wants to join in!!


 Stonestongue
Joined: 5/18/2006
Msg: 2
~Men love weak women... Women love strong men... ~
Posted: 5/18/2006 2:22:30 PM
I like that. We will all be better off when we realise we are not really opposites....Just different aspects of the same thing, humanity. I like strong women. They still yield....Just not when they don't want to.
 My_Island
Joined: 12/10/2005
Msg: 3
~Men love weak women... Women love strong men... ~
Posted: 5/18/2006 2:32:25 PM

When I think of my circle of friends, we're all balanced, successful, intelligent, funny women, the majority of us without a whole lot of baggage and no dependents....and very single!! Apparently that must not be the "in thing" these days either!


I have a few comments to make about the above:

1. She isn't drescribing a strong woman, she is describing a concieted woman.

2. "Majority of us without a whole lot of baggage and no dependants....and very single!!"...wtf does that mean? (unintelligent statement)

3. Arrogance mixed with ignorance blended with a dash of overconfidence does not equal a "Great catch"

4. Again, the same old rhetoric: "It's not me.... they must be blind!!"

 molli39
Joined: 2/18/2006
Msg: 4
~Men love weak women... Women love strong men... ~
Posted: 5/18/2006 2:34:04 PM
Damn it girlfriend I'll drink to that, a double scotch, neat please. It is exactly my experience but if they are intimidated, then, who really wants to have a relationship with them.
Vicki
 pearl13
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 5
~Men love weak women... Women love strong men... ~
Posted: 5/18/2006 2:35:01 PM
Great thread Sassililly!! I have often thought that being a strong woman was not always a good thing in the dating world..... too bad though, because what so many men don't realize is that strong women are like the ones at the top of the tree. They may be harder to get, but they are worth it.... of course, I am going to say that, being a strong woman.... LOL

Seriously, I once asked a male friend of mine why men don't like strong women.... he figured it was because they don't want to make the effort.... it takes a lot more work to keep someone who can totally function on their own.... and yes, many men see it as a threat..... at least that is what he figured..... and after asking a few other men I know... they all agreed..... what do other men think.... is that why?
 Stonestongue
Joined: 5/18/2006
Msg: 6
~Men love weak women... Women love strong men... ~
Posted: 5/18/2006 2:51:00 PM
What do you mean by weak? Weak doesn't sound like a positive thing..... Being a man who likes strong minded women, it's hard for me to tell. I'd say it's because they are easily controlled and dominated. Hopefully another dude has something a little more positive to say, because my opinion sheds a bad light. Oops!
 Ont_Buck
Joined: 7/19/2005
Msg: 7
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~Men love weak women... Women love strong men... ~
Posted: 5/18/2006 3:01:27 PM
I'm not sure how to measure a "strong" or "weak" man or woman. If you show that you care for (not simply want) someone, is that a weakness? If you refuse to be hurt by someone, is that strength? If you listen to others opinions that differ from your own, and consider they may be valid, is that a weakness? If you refuse to change your opinion for any reason, is that a strength?

To often I see pple judge others as above. I believe somewhat differently (about 180 degrees). It seems nowadays that a "strong" woman is expected to have many of the negative qualities a "strong" man was expected to have 50 yrs ago. (arogance, ruthlessness, etc)

For the record, while the "weak" woman has her attractions (I do have my protective side), I would prefer a woman with her own opinions and ideas. I prefer a partner, not a pet. We all have our weak moments, and it should be those we care about who help us thru them.
 bernzg
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 8
~Men love weak women... Women love strong men... ~
Posted: 5/18/2006 3:11:44 PM
You took the words right out of my mouth....I couldn't agree with you more!

Thanks for that!
 Leeanne
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 9
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~Men love weak women... Women love strong men... ~
Posted: 5/18/2006 4:09:53 PM
As a strong woman I feel that I need a balance of both strong and 'weak' (hate that word) for both myself and a man in a relationship.
 Hezron
Joined: 12/15/2005
Msg: 10
~Men love weak women... Women love strong men... ~
Posted: 5/18/2006 4:20:29 PM
Well of course we prefer weal women...it takes a lot more effort to pin the strong ones down muhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
 Greanize
Joined: 7/30/2005
Msg: 11
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~Men love weak women... Women love strong men... ~
Posted: 5/18/2006 4:23:49 PM
I am a strong woman. I always have been strong. There is a part of me that wants to be protected and nurtured by a man...a darn big part of me, but it is not happening. I have been told by a number of different people that I am too strong and I scare away men. I have had men tell me to my face that I am too strong for them.
Last night a friend said to me: You are such a strong woman! I can't believe a man could ever hurt you! Physically or emotionally!
Boy is he ever wrong. I may be strong as in independant, self supporting, and a survivor, but I am still a woman who desires a man in her life...a companion, a partner, a friend, a lover, and a protector. I still feel, have feelings, have vulnerabilities, have moments of weakness, and moments of strength. I am independant because I am alone and I have to be. I am self-supporting because I have to be. I am a survivor because I have to be. To be anything less means to lay down and die! So if that makes me too a strong woman that can scare a man off, then a man who is scared that easy is not strong, but pretty darn weak!
So if I have to, I will hang in there until a man who is strong enough to accept me as I am and love me for my strengths and weaknesses comes into my life.
 ~Jenni-pooh~
Joined: 7/24/2005
Msg: 12
~Men love weak women... Women love strong men... ~
Posted: 5/18/2006 4:43:16 PM
Where to start?!?!?

First of all, My Island... Your response to the intital thread seems to be a case of complete overkill and gives me the impression that you're somehow offended by the idea of a woman being confident!


She isn't drescribing a strong woman, she is describing a concieted woman.


Conceited? I think not... I know myself well and I know my friends very well... To say that I'm successful in life, intelligent and even funny is hardly conceited! I know my strengths and I certainly know my weaknesses, but when it comes down to it, it's called confidence my dear, and speaking the truth.

"The majority of us are without a whole lot of baggage and have no dependents..."


Yes, that's right. I said it. I haven't had a steady stream of heartache in my life and I don't have children. Some people, whether they want to admit it or not, would prefer to find another single person who doesn't have children so that they could potentially start a family of their own and experience that only with each other. For those who already do have children... That doesn't make them any less desirable, just in a different frame of mind and they certainly have other considerations besides their own wants and needs. Get it? Hardly "unintelligent"....


Arrogance mixed with ignorance blended with a dash of overconfidence does not equal a "Great catch"


You can call it arrogant, ignorance, overconfidence, but when it comes down to it, I've chosen to be single for many years and I've become a better person for it. I guess you could say that I've found my "male shadow". I've realized that I don't need a man in my life, but I'm in a state of mind now where I would enjoy and appreciate having that in my life. For some men, that can be threatening. Maybe it's time for you to find your more feminine shadow and take the time to look within instead of casting judgments on others! (By the way, I seem to recall past threads of yours where you claimed to not pass judgments? Go figure!!!)

 josy
Joined: 3/18/2006
Msg: 13
~Men love weak women... Women love strong men... ~
Posted: 5/18/2006 5:31:52 PM
wow...this is a great thread....

here's my two cents on the whole topic....take it as you will....

I KNOW that I am a strong independent woman. I would never have survived the things in my life if I wasn't one. Does that make me arrogant...or conceited?? No. It makes me fully aware of what I want in my life and of the things that I DON'T want in my life. I am opinionated, but I don't force them on others. I am outspoken...but not loud.. rude and abrasive. I am intelligent. Anyone that takes the time to have conversations with me will find that out in a heartbeat...

Does anything in the above paragraph scare anyone?? Because really... it shouldn't. I am who I am... I've earned every battle scar that I have...and I've earned the right to be who I am..a strong intelligent independent woman.

I've been lucky so far... I've chatted with great people on here... met one and am still seeing him... and he values the independence and intelligence that I have... so no worries for the "conceited women", there are great guys out there... they just have to work a little harder to get to us....

Josy
 Tallgirly30
Joined: 8/8/2005
Msg: 14
~Men love weak women... Women love strong men... ~
Posted: 5/18/2006 5:48:36 PM
Go girl....very well put sassililyll This is the first time i've responded to a thread. I am a strong, intelligent, funny, and financially independent women!! I've wondered in the past if this has hindered me; seems that I attract weak men and the strong ones stay clear of me. I've been told that my strenght can be intimidating at times . I am an honest person and can be blunt at times. I have never been perceived as conceited and or arrogant. After reading the thread and comments people made, I thought I would share my views on what it means to be a strong person. Strong means strenght in character...a leader. This person is assertive and will never allow themselves to be passive aggressive. They may at times be weak and make pathetic choices...but will snap themselves out of it, brush themselves off and move on. They appreciate all they have, are greatfull for being alive and would never let anybody rain on their parade. They treat others like they want to be treated and will not disapear when things get rough. They debate instead of arguing and can agree to disagree. At times, they enjoy being put in their place!!
 Hezron
Joined: 12/15/2005
Msg: 15
~Men love weak women... Women love strong men... ~
Posted: 5/18/2006 5:58:27 PM
This is just an observation and not pinted at any of the women posting here. k. do youthink sometimes strong women get a bad name because a lot of women who are just plain mean and ****y like to label themselves as strong....there is a huge difference. Just a thought. You may throw rocks now.
 kendo³
Joined: 5/1/2005
Msg: 16
~Men love weak women... Women love strong men... ~
Posted: 5/18/2006 6:01:47 PM
Actually I would like a strong willed women. Someone that knows what she wants and will not put up with BS. Someone that works hard to succeed with lots of integrety. I do have to admit that they are intimidating to some men. But someone that you can fully respect is a hard thing to find and once you do, you know she is a keeper. I want an equal, I do not need to be better than them, because that would mean I am insecure. But I do not like the ones that put them selves up on a peddlestill. If you don't deserve to be up there, I will not go there, but if you do deserve, I will work hard to make them happy.

Not too strong willed though, that would be a B****. Naaaaa!
 roxygemini
Joined: 12/1/2005
Msg: 17
~Men love weak women... Women love strong men... ~
Posted: 5/18/2006 6:02:22 PM
Who wants to arm wrestle?
 ~Jenni-pooh~
Joined: 7/24/2005
Msg: 18
~Men love weak women... Women love strong men... ~
Posted: 5/18/2006 6:03:10 PM
Hezron... You might be right in some cases. A strong personality that's filled with bitterness and harsh words can be misconstrued as "strength". When it comes down to it, meanness isn't strength, but a lack of confidence and an attempt to make yourself feel better by putting others down. There's a big difference!

 LL3
Joined: 9/10/2005
Msg: 19
~Men love weak women... Women love strong men... ~
Posted: 5/18/2006 10:54:12 PM
It's when she knows the difference and he also knows what's going on as well.....It's a fine line...like so many things these days...

A strong willed woman, or guy doesn't need to use harsh words.... Who they are will speak volumes in itself....
 LMAO
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 20
~Men love weak women... Women love strong men... ~
Posted: 5/19/2006 2:23:41 AM
Strong women........they know who they are as a person, accept it, and respect thier own morals and values in life and wil not let anyone jeapordize them, they know themselves in all sexual manner as well. They just plain know who they are.

Weak......still are searching who they are, as they have been a puppet for so many years they have NO clue who they are themselves

That is the difference in my view anyway


This does apply to men as well, in alot of cases
 Mayor
Joined: 1/2/2006
Msg: 21
~Men love weak women... Women love strong men... ~
Posted: 5/19/2006 2:44:51 AM

Men love weak women... Women love strong men...


Personally i think that is wrong, but that would be just me
 Polly_G
Joined: 11/21/2005
Msg: 22
~Men love weak women... Women love strong men... ~
Posted: 5/19/2006 3:40:18 AM

I have a few comments to make about the above:
1. She isn't drescribing a strong woman, she is describing a concieted woman.
2. "Majority of us without a whole lot of baggage and no dependants....and very single!!"...wtf does that mean? (unintelligent statement)
3. Arrogance mixed with ignorance blended with a dash of overconfidence does not equal a "Great catch"
4. Again, the same old rhetoric: "It's not me.... they must be blind!!"


I never got these things at all from the excerpt.

Regarding #1, Never got a conceit vibe whatsoever.

Regarding #2, I got that she was just saying what they have to offer in a relationship. Strong women often take care of their own baggage so don't bring it to the relationship. You often hear people say they want to date someone without baggage. I think she was just addressing those kinds of comments. Not unintelligent at all.

Regarding #3, I got from the post confidence not arrogance. Actually kind of a peeve of mine when people mistake the two. Being able to recognize your positive traits IS NOT arrogance. Its actually very healthy and much more so than if someone can't recognize those traits and be proud of them.

Being a "strong woman" I can emphathise with that woman's post. I've never been the helpless type, I've never needed someone to "save me", and I enjoy my independence and think I can keep it and still be in a close relationship.

Some men do find me intimidating and have told me so. They are looking for the weaker more helpless type so they can feel more like a man. That is their issue...not mine. All the power to them because there are lots of women out there who pout, act helpless and needy. If I guy needs me to behave that way in order to feel more like a man, quite honestly, I think he has ego issues.
 Leeanne
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 23
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~Men love weak women... Women love strong men... ~
Posted: 5/19/2006 3:58:11 AM
Msg 19 & 20 -That's exactly it!
To me strong just means someone who knows exactly who they are in all aspects, but they do not have to be out there in a harsh, here I am, kiss my a$s manner. They are not on a never ending search for who they are. They have confidence and aren't affraid to step to the forefront when required. A true strong person has that balance that I was speaking of. They know when to take that step back and take on a more submissive role if need be, because thier confidence tells them that they don't always have to be in charge.
 My_Island
Joined: 12/10/2005
Msg: 24
~Men love weak women... Women love strong men... ~
Posted: 5/19/2006 9:11:08 AM
First of all, My Island... Your response to the intital thread seems to be a case of complete overkill and gives me the impression that you're somehow offended by the idea of a woman being confident!


Ummm. It's what you are suggesting about women who are 'weak' (in your opinion) and also what you are suggsting about men being intimidated by women as you describe.

There is a difference between being intimidated and simply not interested in the type of women who put themself on a pedestal.

Education and/or confidence in a woman is not what makes a man happy or unhappy (in my opinion). Charm and integrity are more of an asset... when considering characteristics/assets besides love and chemistry.

I've dated both and in my experience I do not care about those things you speak of.... I am more interested in how I feel with that person; not what she knows and how "noble' she can be to herself.

Edit: I don't get intimidated
 justin6767
Joined: 5/23/2005
Msg: 25
~Men love weak women... Women love strong men... ~
Posted: 5/19/2006 9:18:12 AM
I think women have become alot stronger in many aspects and men have taken on way too much of the lost puppy role. Begging and pleaing for your touch and attention. In years past men always wanted a womens touch and enjoyed her beauty just as much as today. But, the difference is today, alot of men with sacrifice their pride and manhood and put theirself beneath the women character wise to try to get with her. Stong women find this weak and unattractive, the weaker ones love to be showered with the attention, but after a short while get bored and what a proud man to come out.
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