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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Would you never have a relationship with one who has messaged others      Mod Threads Home login  
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 Author Thread: Would you never have a relationship with one who has messaged others for sex or intimate encounters?
 wolfskshuntress

Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 1
Would you never have a relationship with one who has messaged others for sex or intimate encounters?
Posted: 5/18/2006 8:45:18 PM
relationships have started from one-night stands, no? .. does one's sexual proclivity preclude one from being faithful in a long-term relationship? .. must one wear a scarlet letter for messaging others for sex or intimate encounters? ..

would you never have a relationship with one who has messaged others for sex or intimate encounters? ..
 irishmage

Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 2
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Would you never have a relationship with one who has messaged others for sex or intimate encounters?
Posted: 5/19/2006 7:34:23 AM
I would message them, and possibly have a relationship with them. Heck we all have urges and sometimes the need to get it fulfilled is too much. Once it is out of the system it's done. Now if they were in a relationship with me and still did it, it would be simple "good bye"

My 2 pence
 Angelyn

Joined: 3/19/2006
Msg: 3
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Would you never have a relationship with one who has messaged others for sex or intimate encounters?
Posted: 5/19/2006 7:45:55 AM
Never is a long time.
The answer to this is damn if I do and damn if I don't.

If I say "no" I would never have a relationship.....then I am excluding people who I might not other wise meet. I might come off as a prude, stuck up woman who standards are too high.

If I say "yes" I will have a relationship.....then I am saying write me and we can talk about anything you want. Those who troll would just love that.

Answer: let me think about it and I will get back to you.
 rainbowfishh

Joined: 4/20/2006
Msg: 4
Would you never have a relationship with one who has messaged others for sex or intimate encounters?
Posted: 5/19/2006 7:47:48 AM
In a word... no

I value my physical and emotional health and
someone like that is NOT a good bet for a relationship...
maybe not sex either... or why are they looking for
casual sex? as I see it a guy like that must not be able to satisfy
any woman... so he just keeps rotating them before
someone catches on and spreads the word about him
lol
 fiestyvixen

Joined: 2/15/2006
Msg: 5
Would you never have a relationship with one who has messaged others for sex or intimate encounters?
Posted: 5/19/2006 8:39:34 AM
instant message me for sex, lol, nope. Now get me in front of a live body, chances are very good. It just feels creepy to have some one sight unseen wanting to hook up, I like to talk and see the guy before I decide to have sex with them, maybe thats just me but thats my op
 JOCOLover

Joined: 5/6/2006
Msg: 6
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Would you never have a relationship with one who has messaged others for sex or intimate encounters?
Posted: 5/19/2006 8:41:47 AM
"Would you never have a relationship with one who has messaged others for sex or intimate encounters?"

Well, perhaps if I was extremely horny, it was to be a very BRIEF relationship, I had a box of condoms, and the price was right.
 awaitingyu

Joined: 5/17/2005
Msg: 7
Would you never have a relationship with one who has messaged others for sex or intimate encounters?
Posted: 5/19/2006 8:42:16 AM
Are you gonna sit down with ever person u meet to find out all that about them if it's there? no..so why even worry about it? worry about what's right in front of you and not what has gone on in the past......people aren't going to disclose every little nitch about their sex life to you anyways....wouldn't lose sleep over it.
 othala

Joined: 5/15/2006
Msg: 8
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Would you never have a relationship with one who has messaged others for sex or intimate encounters?
Posted: 5/19/2006 8:57:08 AM
It is rather closed minded to exclude someone from even communicating with you, based on some box he checked in an online question sheet???? It is also rather disappointing that people are looking for a "LTR" right off the bat. Trust me people , that shows a little desperation . Its kind of like, I see a girl at the gas station, I find her attractive, so I walk over and say "Hello are you interested in having a "LTR" with me?" Abso -freakin-lutely ridiculous. Making the decision to have a relationship with someone requires a great deal of time getting to know them. I don't go in with certain expectations, other than to get to know someone.

PS. Just because men are interested is NSA sex, doesn't make them " bad, evil, or terrible people" Lying in order to have NSA sex does.
 sammy salt

Joined: 5/15/2006
Msg: 9
Would you never have a relationship with one who has messaged others for sex or intimate encounters?
Posted: 5/19/2006 8:57:09 AM
You should of asked how many guys on here, have never e-mailed someone once to talk about sex. Slim pickens that would be if they told the real truth.
 crabstuffing

Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 10
Would you never have a relationship with one who has messaged others for sex or intimate encounters?
Posted: 5/19/2006 9:02:53 AM
I have my mail set up to not include people who have done so.
I don't think there is anything wrong with it (unless you are married or attached in any way), but if I allowed those people to message me I would be getting pervs typing crap to me. I'm not in the mood for that right now.
 buzzingbee

Joined: 3/25/2005
Msg: 11
Would you never have a relationship with one who has messaged others for sex or intimate encounters?
Posted: 5/19/2006 9:13:52 AM
@wolf, you've frankly admitted on another relationship related thread your PoF ticked box 'intimate encounters'. I was pondering about it - thinking where you (or any other man for that matter) is coming from? It would be foolish to say that no one on this site hopes for intimate encounter in the end. Yes, in the end but ~ and yes, it could happen on a first date too, depending on mutually fuelling conversation, growing attraction etc.
What I find scary about 'intimate encounter' people is that - IMO - their only motivation is intimate encounter in first place e.g. welcome him naked in the door - proceed to the 'runway' and 'take off' ...and
Well, 'wolf' how would you feel if the arranged mtg didn't progress to the 'intimate encounter'? Would you give it (mtg) another shot?

P.S.
I'm pretty sure that there is some unresolved personal issue why someone desires physical closeness, yet is frightened from emotional bond.
 name of feather

Joined: 5/18/2006
Msg: 12
Would you never have a relationship with one who has messaged others for sex or intimate encounters?
Posted: 5/19/2006 9:16:08 AM
I think that is probably the only way I could ever meet a woman who wanted to have sex with me. If it turned into a lasting relationship, no problem, I can buy another place setting.
 Bioscisweetie

Joined: 1/1/2006
Msg: 13
Would you never have a relationship with one who has messaged others for sex or intimate encounters?
Posted: 5/19/2006 9:16:42 AM
110% not. Those who seek these sorts of thrills, will most likely continue to look for it.
Better to cut my losses early and draw the line.
 ~SpiffyKat~

Joined: 8/16/2005
Msg: 14
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Would you never have a relationship with one who has messaged others for sex or intimate encounters?
Posted: 5/19/2006 9:44:22 AM
^^Othala~"It is rather closed minded to exclude someone from even communicating with you, based on some box he checked in an online question sheet????"

Its rather closed minded of you to say that^^ being that its all a matter or personal preference. If someone chooses not to communicate with a person who is looking for sex on the web its their choice.It isnt merely about some random box a person chooses to check on an online question sheet.I say it speaks volumes about a persons lifestyle and morals.Im not here to judge anyone,but I wouldnt feel comfortable putting myself out there like that.I would only sleep with someone if we knew eachother for a long time and were in a loving commited relationship.
 othala

Joined: 5/15/2006
Msg: 15
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Would you never have a relationship with one who has messaged others for sex or intimate encounters?
Posted: 5/19/2006 9:53:24 AM
Good luck with your wait, sorry men arent gonna wait a long time until he gets to know you very well, if he does, hes getting sex somewhere else. Or he is denying his sexual nature in an effort to manipulate you. Sorry "nice guys" arent really nice they deny themselves , in an effort to make a woman think he isnt evil like all the other men.

So people that have sex with out meeting your criteria for it have low morals...wow!
 ~SpiffyKat~

Joined: 8/16/2005
Msg: 16
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Would you never have a relationship with one who has messaged others for sex or intimate encounters?
Posted: 5/19/2006 10:03:38 AM
^ Thanks,but Im already in a commited relationship.I feel I have so much more to offer than just sex.Any man who doesnt recognize that doesnt need to be sleeping with me and vice versa .I dont think its its good to generalize and speak for all men as you have in your above post.Im not naive and I do realize sex is very important to most men and women.I happen to love sex too,but to me it is so much better once a relationship has been established.I never said a person who meets for sex has low morals.....you made that assumption.Please dont put words in my mouth...or post What I did say is that while I dont judge others for the way they choose to conduct themselves sexually, it does say something about their morals and values.(not nessecarily a good or bad thing,just different than mine:)Everything we choose to do in life is a reflection of who we are.When you said its close minded to judge someone because they check a random box on a profile....its not like its a box on what color hair you have or something trivial like that:P The way you and I are already sparring in the forums shows what types of conflicts would arise due to a difference of opinion on this matter.I have friends with all sorts of different sexual preferences.The thing is in order for a ROMANTIC relationship to work, when it comes to a persons views on sex,goals ect things have a better chance of working when peoples views line up.
 JerryInTampa

Joined: 9/28/2004
Msg: 17
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Would you never have a relationship with one who has messaged others for sex or intimate encounters?
Posted: 5/19/2006 10:08:11 AM
The problem is not one of abstract "would I" so much as pragmatic. I get the inference from your question that you are referring to the people who write very early (if not immediately) "wanna have sex?" (or the like).

The reality is that I wouldn't have a long enough conversation before I set them on ignore to get a feel for the person beyond that... they've made too poor a first impression. While I've dated people that I can imagine doing that, and have no principle-based aversion to someone who has, if it was me they did it to, I'd not find out.

...Unless it was Halley Berry
 wolfskshuntress

Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 18
Would you never have a relationship with one who has messaged others for sex or intimate encounters?
Posted: 5/19/2006 10:27:04 AM
Msg 1, clarification .. there is no way to know what someone has written to someone else .. however, there is a new check box that allows one to block anyone from contacting you .. if they have also messaged someone whose preference is "intimate encounters" .. i think this is how that check box works ..

if you have sent a message to someone .. and it can be a very clean message .. to someone whose preference is "intimate encounters" .. you may not be able to subsequently send a message to someone who has the restriction "Must not have messaged others for sex or intimate encounters" ..
 Zar9

Joined: 4/15/2006
Msg: 19
Would you never have a relationship with one who has messaged others for sex or intimate encounters?
Posted: 5/19/2006 10:32:45 AM
RE:What I find scary about 'intimate encounter' people is that - IMO - their only motivation is intimate encounter in first place

I don't think it's that simple... and I am sure I will be mocked for this but...

Sometimes it's not about sex... It's about physical companionship about physical affection.. maybe it's not about the F*****g and the C******g Maybe it's about the cuddling the giggles ..the teasing and tickling.. Maybe sometimes it's about those moments of complicity that one feels in such a situation.. Maybe it's about the filling of one's soul with someone else's appreciation of you.. A re-connecting with the "Human experience" A human (IMO) is not made to go years without the touch of another person... and it could take years to meet "the right person".. Or are we supposed to "date" whoever comes along for 3 month so we can get "some action" then dump them and do it all over again with someone else... All so we don't feel like a "player" or "slut"... what an illusion.

People can die of loneliness.. but on this site no one talks about that.. that would be depressing..

Every one is here because they are soo fantastic and their lives are soo perfect.. and they are all soooo happy and they just want to share it... BS!

One can be "Looking" for something serious and take advantage of the " Two ships that pass in the Night" occasion when it arises.. all within the confines of mutual respect.. What does one have to do with the other.. We can't live our life for that person that we haven't met yet especially when there is no guarentee that you will meet them at all... Peace
 SunnySandy2005

Joined: 11/22/2005
Msg: 20
Would you never have a relationship with one who has messaged others for sex or intimate encounters?
Posted: 5/19/2006 12:00:31 PM
I wouldn't worry about it at all. You don't expect everybody you date to be a virgin, do you?
 dolphinegirl

Joined: 3/29/2006
Msg: 21
Would you never have a relationship with one who has messaged others for sex or intimate encounters?
Posted: 5/19/2006 2:00:38 PM
Why is it that people cannot say " i am physically attracted to you? or " ALL I WANT IS A **** BUDDY" the latter being the most honest in the majority of cases.
Be honest people, it`s the best way , don`t **** around if you want a one night stand be there say that and ladies if it`sw in the profile and you want it go for it, don`t ask for an essay, grab him and have fun.
 buzzingbee

Joined: 3/25/2005
Msg: 22
Would you never have a relationship with one who has messaged others for sex or intimate encounters?
Posted: 5/19/2006 2:16:22 PM
^^^^^
Oh yes, b i n d will be there, but b o n d?
 Emulated

Joined: 3/20/2006
Msg: 23
Would you never have a relationship with one who has messaged others for sex or intimate encounters?
Posted: 5/19/2006 2:18:37 PM
Relationships from one night stands? That has happened and made it till the end at some point?
 firecracker 007

Joined: 1/13/2006
Msg: 24
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 bigsmile

Joined: 4/25/2005
Msg: 25
Would you never have a relationship with one who has messaged others for sex or intimate encounters?
Posted: 5/19/2006 2:55:28 PM
I have no problem with what men message, suggest or ask for......in a nice way and as long as there are no bad feelings if I don't take them up on their offer. Maybe it turns into a friendship, maybe it becomes a relationship, heck I guess there is always the chance that the chemistry would be so hot, it would become just that encounter that no one expects but just happens. That's the cool thing about datings, one just never really knows what will happen
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