| | why do women run when they find out your a single dad?????Page 1 of 14 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14) | | I am a single dad of 2 great teenagers I have been divorced for 5 yrs and haven't found anyone that will even date me much less anyone who will except me for my kids. Why do women think that a single dad is Taboo to date? You would think with all the deadbeat dads out there someone who is taking care of their kids would be respected. But no its like I have a desease when they find out I have kids. Can someone tell me why???????? | |
|
| why do women run when they find out your a single dad?????
Posted: 5/21/2006 6:06:19 PM | | Well I respect what you're doing and I'm sure there are women out there who would gladly except your kids.........as for me I have raised mine and really don't want to deal with that issue anymore.....not being rude just being real......good luck to you | |
|
| |
| |
| why do women run when they find out your a single dad?????
Posted: 5/21/2006 6:57:28 PM | I feel for ya hon. I don't know. Probably because people are lazy jerks. Who knows? You are right though - any woman with half a brain would understand how AWESOME single dads truly are.
As a single mom, I feel your pain on that front. However, at least single dads get the "aww. That's awesome, what a good guy" comments - even if they can't get a date! People look at single moms and make assumptions, "oh, look at that skank that got knocked up! She must be desperate for a boyfriend!"
All I know is this, look at it this way: consider it a weeding process.
You can't really blame anyone for not wanting to date someone with children. Let's face it, they are just being honest and saving both of you time and trouble. It's their perrogative to not want children yet, or to want a bit more freedom, etc. Plus there's always the fears of attachment (and then breaking up) and other weighty issues. So it's not that their bad folks, they're just not ready for that commitment yet, which is understandable.
But imagine when you do find someone, what a caring, genuine, unselfish and cool person she's gonna be. It takes a lot to love someone else's child and to accept some big responsibilities.
Don't worry, I bet it will happen for you eventually - and you'll know that she's a great gal. Until then, people that don't want to date you because you have a child - aren't worth your time. Your family is a priority to you, and if someone else can't accept that or want that, it's better for everyone not to waste eachother's time. YOU WILL DO FINE.
Best of luck to ya. | |
|
| why do women run when they find out your a single dad?????
Posted: 5/21/2006 7:02:04 PM | I've been thinking about this. I've been a single parent for 13 years, full custody, not just the every other weekend father, but full-time. I do have the same opinion, women run when they find out you have a child, and literally disappear when they understand its full custody.
But as I said, I have been thinking about this.
During the same period of time, there were a lot of women who didn't run. They were friends, but yet I had never considered looking in their direction. I think I was looking for the same type of woman I was looking for when I had met the mother of my child. But you're not the same person anymore, you have a child. You need to look for a family minded woman, not a woman interested in entertainment, but somebody who enjoys family life.
It just seems that a lot of people look for the same person they always have looked for, but yet everything has changed. Maybe we really need to change who we're looking for. | |
|
| |
| why do women run when they find out your a single dad?????
Posted: 5/22/2006 2:20:39 AM | "It's not other people's criteria that needs to change, it's your own."
Interesting thought!
I don't know why some women run from a single dad. A fulltime Dad is
probably a more stable responsible man!
To be fair, blended families are hard. Do these women have children as well?
Besides...if you have children, the prospective mate has to be willing to
take on more than one relationship! It's a package deal.
Yes stereotypes are rampant. Most people only think single moms exist for
the most part. There are more and more single dads.
Now the stereotype for us single moms is we're looking for replacement
dad!
Bottomline. If it was meant to be....and look at it as THEIR loss. | |
|
| why do women run when they find out your a single dad?????
Posted: 5/22/2006 2:30:14 AM | ^^^ Yeah!
I personally think that single dads are better than just single men. They understand where single moms are coming from, and they are waay more understanding when the old "I'm sorry, my baby is sick and I need to stay home with him. Can we do a raincheck?" is involved. I personally would prefer to date a single dad even if he is full time. I know that blended families are hard, I come from one! Seriously... I think that women run because of the whole "fear of committment" thing. They dont want to be "strapped down" by kids! I also think that these women are completely nuts, and should give it a whirl! A date with a single dad and his kids in the park would be way more fun than any club/bar! (many people will call me crazy for this too but I DONT CARE!! AHaHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  ) | |
|
| why do women run when they find out your a single dad?????
Posted: 5/22/2006 6:12:04 AM | I think one reason is the age group of women you are looking for. You are 39 and want to contact women as young as 21 (18 years younger, you could be their father), but will only go one year older.
Also you said "I am a single dad and my 2 teenage boys are my life," That line alone would scare me off, instantly. I think for most of us our children are a big part of our lives, but they should not be our whole life. | |
|
| why do women run when they find out your a single dad?????
Posted: 5/22/2006 6:22:35 AM | I have never had the chance of meeting a "single dad" so i can't say....but i would definately give it good try like any relationship. 
Try other single mums and see if that works, other than that i think us women need to approach you single dads for a change 
Good luck......Susan xxx | |
|
| why do women run when they find out your a single dad?????
Posted: 5/22/2006 7:57:06 AM | | I know it is obvious, but no woman is worth it. Kids come first. The difference between men and women on this matter is. Single mothers want men to be the wallet and help with the burden. Single fathers just want companionship. | |
|
| why do women run when they find out your a single dad?????
Posted: 5/22/2006 9:16:25 AM | ^^^^^^ 
I dont think so! I dont want a wallet, I support my son myself thank you! I want a companion, a best friend. Oh wait! I already have that! Her name is Missy, and she is the best dog I've ever had! | |
|
| why do women run when they find out your a single dad?????
Posted: 5/22/2006 9:38:06 AM | Some women don't want to share time or have to deal with ready made family. Some women don't want to deal with the adjustments that have to be made to deal with teenagers if they have finished with their own or never had any. The stress of a new relationship is one thing. But that and children much less teenagers, is more than some women are willing to take on. Women have gone through this much longer than you men. At one time the women always got custody you guys are now finding out what women have goen through for years. Good luck  | |
|
| why do women run when they find out your a single dad?????
Posted: 5/22/2006 10:08:35 AM | | I would prefer to date a single dad than a man without kids. I have 2 fantastic chilren myself and don't want anymore so unless, you have your own, things probably won't get too far. I would guess that perhaps you are interested in single ladies that don't have their own kids yet, when you might start looking at other single parents. | |
|
| why do women run when they find out your a single dad?????
Posted: 5/22/2006 10:44:46 AM | i think that is absolute crap single mothers want people to accept them and there kids just as much as single dads do,so us wanting there wallets is the biggest piece of bulls**t ive ever heard i have the same respect for both single mums and dads.
You get some men also running away from single mums works both ways but thats just wat i think.
 | |
|
| why do women run when they find out your a single dad?????
Posted: 5/22/2006 1:28:23 PM | | Being a single mother, I much prefer to date other single parents. But I know how you feel... sometimes, when a man finds out I have a 14 month old daughter, with no help whatsoever... they run for the hills. Those are the selfish ones. Some people know that ALL of your attention wont be concentrated on them, and they just can't hang. Eventually we have to come across someone who is willing to accept our entire package, right?! Keep your hopes up. That's what I try to do. | |
|
| why do women run when they find out your a single dad?????
Posted: 5/22/2006 1:49:29 PM | I just want to thank all the single mothers that posted on this thread. You gave me some valuable insight on things.
Oh, and for the record, I find that even single moms run from me, LOL, maybe the 4 kids scares them, I dont know.  | |
|
| why do women run when they find out your a single dad?????
Posted: 5/22/2006 1:50:56 PM | I know a few single dads with full custody and they are fabulous!!!! I would date a single dad anyday. I am a single, never been married, no kids woman, and it would be an honor to date a man who is that dedicated to his children.
I don't see what the problem is with women who run from it. I do know it is THEIR problem! Good Luck Single Dads..and Moms too!
Deanna | |
|
LouAce
| | Joined: 5/21/2006
Msg: 20 | |
| why do women run when they find out your a single dad?????
Posted: 5/22/2006 2:53:28 PM | | The main thing,that everyone is missing here.is that a person is still a human being.Regardless of what baggage we all have to carry.You just have to be careful about thing's .children don't have to be involved until thing's are planned to get serious.I believe it's better this way.especially since there are so many Shallow people in th dating world out there.It doesn't matter if a women is not willing to get into a relationship because they have raised their own,or don't want to get attached,or think it may be too much work.Is that really fair to the person that is passionatly wanting a partner.The woman who doesn't want to get involved isn't thinking this way.She is just being selffish.Fitting into the shallow category.If you really like someone.what they have to bring along with relationship are just details to be worked out.I do believe that we need to change our priorties when it comes to seeking the right person when piece a family together.Agreeing that what we looked for Before we had kids, will simply not do.The fact of the matter is now days.Most people want an easy accesible relationship.NOt wanting to work hard for an everlasting love.But just being lazy because they don't want to put forth the effort.Once agian,shallow person.I am also a single father and have had the same problem......I refuse to anylize and try to find an answer that works to make it all better...The fact of the matter is simply that alot of people are just shallow and selfish...... | |
|
| why do women run when they find out your a single dad?????
Posted: 5/22/2006 4:56:11 PM | | I know that I have put in 18 to 40 but I wouldnt date an 18 yr old and would date someone older than 40, at the time I made my profile up it was just a number because I didnt expect to get any responses to my profile, and I do love my kids more than anything because they are all I have and they are my life, so as to that if the woman doesnt like that it is her problem. I dont want to fool anyone into thinking that they will be the only thing in my life because I do have children but I do have enough love to go around. So that is just something the woman I date will have to understand.By the way I looked at your profile and you seem like a really nice person and I wish you all the luck in the world. Thanks for replying to my forum and have a blessed life. | |
|
| why do women run when they find out your a single dad?????
Posted: 5/22/2006 7:25:26 PM | well for me.. i did the date the guy with kids thing a few times and its nothing but heartacke... if the kids dont like you they do EVERYTHING in there power to break u up..or you have to fight for attention example.. i dated a man with a daughter.. well she would throw temper tanturms if she saw us hold hands or hug or cuddle on the couch.. she was the only one to get daddys attention...
It saves alot of hasell to date a man with out kids..
:( it sucks... | |
|
| why do women run when they find out your a single dad?????
Posted: 5/22/2006 7:30:04 PM | I will give mad props to you. I have 2 boys and as soon as someone finds that out they run for the hills. But when it comes to it, our kids are worth it. If a little lonelyness is all we have to deal with! that is not to bad. We could be without our kids.
good luck | |
|
| |
| why do women run when they find out your a single dad?????
Posted: 5/22/2006 8:32:45 PM | | Totally - in my limited experience most people seem to consider kids as baggage. I'm new to this online thing and did it to meet people but couldn't help but put my 2 cents in. I am the person I am today because of my kids and I wouldn't change that for anything! I'm more settled and calmer. More open and happier. And definitely stronger cause you can't raise kids on your own for years without being strong. I think that's why most people run....we single parents are different. Not because we have kids (well maybe that too) but because we think different, have different hopes, and plans. Anyways that's my take but like I said before - it's a limited experience. | |
|
Home
login 
