| Dating shift workers
Posted: 5/26/2006 9:30:10 AM | Kinda in the same vein as the dating certain professions thread....
How do other shift workers cope with trying to meet and date people around your work schedule? And how do people who date shift workers cope? Did it affect your decision to date the person in the first place?
I can understand some peoples wish not to date shift workers. I work rotating shifts that don't have much opportunity at all to go out after work due to the hours. So for 5-6 days at a time, unless the woman's hours are flexible during the day (or throughout the week), it's hard to get together. Plus my workplace runs 24/7/365 and with shift work, Sat/Sun/holidays are often hard to get off. (I get 1.5 weekends a month off)
It makes it very hard just to meet people as well.
I do get a generous amount of leave throughout the year (ok I'd still like more) and my days off are 3-4 at a time; but still it takes a little more work to make time for someone. (not that I'm not willing to try!) | |
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| Dating shift workers
Posted: 5/26/2006 9:48:23 AM | I used to have a work schedule that was evenings and some weekends. I was also going to school at that time. I'm now done with school and work is now 2-3 nights a week and some Sundays. This has seriously put a damper on my personal life, but with the extra time I have now it helps some.
Meeting for lunch is great and is less formal than evenings. It's also great to be out and about during daylight hours. The downside is that many social activities are geared towards the early evenings, not when I am finished working at 10 pm, so this can be a damper.
The ideal situation would be to find someone with a similar schedule, but for me it seems it is difficult to find.
Tina | |
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| Dating shift workers
Posted: 5/26/2006 9:54:10 AM | | There is a shift worker I would be interested in dating, but twice the POF IM has frozen during a chat,and if he sees this message, I just would like him to know it was the IM not me....I hope things do work out....{and yes I did email him too...} | |
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| Dating shift workers
Posted: 5/26/2006 11:16:00 AM | I used to work the 9-5 thing and my boyfriend was a shift worker... that was hard.. sometimes we went weeks without seeing each other! I really hated it (especially lack of sex). But we worked around it. Sometimes he'd come over after a 3-11 shift, and I'd just go in to work the next day on 2 hours of sleep hahaha...
When I was in school it was easier as my schedule was all over the place too and sometimes he'd come over after a night shift, we'd have sex, and sleep all morning.... ahhh those carefree days when I didn't have to be up at 6 for work.
He's a straight days man now though and so am I and I couldn't be happier. SO much better.
So dating shift workers is hard but if you want to see each other someone will have to sacrifice sleep or skip class! | |
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| Dating shift workers
Posted: 5/26/2006 12:31:11 PM | When I work the mid shift (midnight-8am), I really don't have a desire to meet someone new. The day before or after that schedule is difficult too. | |
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| Dating shift workers
Posted: 5/26/2006 3:43:42 PM | | My shift is 10 p.m. to 6 a.m. Kind of difficult to find dating fun in the daytime, but it works out when necessary, and of course there is always the weekend. | |
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| Dating shift workers
Posted: 5/26/2006 3:54:18 PM | I work 2 different shifts in the same week either 3 days at Tuesday-Thursday7:30am-3:30pm and then Fri/Sat/Sun on Midnights with Monday off, then the alternating week I just work Tues-Thurs days and Friday midnight with Sat/Sun/Mon off... not as bad as other shift workers, I get a 3 day weekend every other week.
But it is tough working weird hours, the 9-5's don't seem to understand the need to rest like we do when we have a day off.
As for dating, it's hard...if you date someone with opposite days off. I tried it and it takes more work than what's needed.
So I kinda don't mind dating the shift workers | |
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| Dating shift workers
Posted: 5/26/2006 6:34:34 PM | I work shifts, and it's great. My weekend starts at 8am Thursday and continues through until 11PM Sunday night. In essence, I have four days off every week. I work the overnight, and I am normally up and about by the time the day people finish work.
I can shop in the morning with no line ups, and no stress. That saves me a ton of time.
I wouldn't change it for the world. | |
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| Dating shift workers
Posted: 5/26/2006 7:25:02 PM | Hi BarfBoy (yikes, what a handle!):
I'm in the same boat. There are some good thing about it, for sure, but I've come to the conclusion that I'm almost undateable. Still trying, too.
Good luck! | |
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| Dating shift workers
Posted: 5/26/2006 8:59:55 PM | it sure ain't easy, try dating a law enforcement officer who changes shifts CONSTANTLY.
I'm a swing shift person, in natural mode, I'm at my best during those hours, I prefer working those hours. I noticed, though, it was much harder to find time to date, spend time with family, and hang with friends when I was working. The good part about my job is that my daughter is regularly with me, and I *want* a volunteer oriented man, because I am. The beauty of my job there is, the kind of man I want will also be able to be with me when I work.
Gini | |
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| Dating shift workers
Posted: 5/26/2006 10:21:53 PM | Thanks all, please keep it coming. This is a problem that's affected me for some time.
My shifts are set up to start on evenings and transition to days then finish on a midnight shift; so we're always short changing. IE from evenings to days etc.
It just doesn't give a lot of time off in between to date or have a life it seems.
Now there are advantages! I've only 1 (usually) early day shift! (06:30am start)! And lots of time off during the week to shop. Days off are 6 on, 4 off, 6 on, 4 off, 5 on, 3 off. So can't complain, right? Try to meet someone and say "well, I'm available to go out for a drink a week from tomorrow?" - btw can't drink 8hrs before a shift either!
Tina, I'd love to date someone on a similar shift but it's just not a possibility - I work in a still very much male dominated field.
jazztheif, I've no problem sacrificing sleep for a date....it'd be the least I've done to get a date!!!
BellaMia, you and I have very similiar skeds. And yes 9-5's just don't fathom what it takes out've us.
(btw has anyone else noticed Bella's legs!.....I'm mean WOW!)
Montreal Guy, don't get me wrong; there's alot I like about my sked. I finish my round of shifts at 09:30am and then get 4 days off (starting on the next day!) and don't start my first shift back until 18:30hrs! So pretty sweet! And yes I hate trying to shop when everyone else is in the store as well!!
Dawn (yikes, my ex's name)....nobody likes my handle?! It was a nickname given to me by my co-workers........in aviation apparently it's funny to be prone to airsickness!  | |
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| Dating shift workers
Posted: 5/26/2006 10:40:03 PM | Yep, I can relate to this....I work in a retail enviornment...either 9-5pm, or 1-9pm...alot of saturdays and 2 sundays a month....throw in the fact that I am a single mom and you end up with very little time to meet people...it's tough and it has kept me from dating much for the last few yrs. The 9-5, mon-fri workers don't seem to understand...but hey, life goes on! | |
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| Dating shift workers
Posted: 5/26/2006 11:38:42 PM | Hey Barf Boy,
I am in kinda the same boat as you and have pretty much given up but who knows what curves life can throw you. I work afternoons, mon-fri and have my son on every weekend. So I would have to meet someone pretty wonderful to put up with my schedule. I am hoping to meet someone that works the same shift as me. But for now, I keep myself busy. I just wanted to say that you aren't alone. Goodluck!! | |
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| Dating shift workers
Posted: 5/27/2006 12:01:53 AM | I work 3:30 pm - 2am, which usually turns into 4 am shift........and finding someone that is cool with the shift difference is very difficult. Usually it starts out with "I can handle it!"...but it quickly turns into a problem.
I have met some very nice ladies that we have hit it off very good.....but due to the shift difference, they chose not to even meet.  Sometimes it feels like I have no life just work...and wait to go back to work!! Still waiting for that day job! | |
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| Dating shift workers
Posted: 5/27/2006 12:10:59 AM | BarfBoy........very good topic!! 
Maybe this will give us shift workers our time in the sun!! | |
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| Dating shift workers
Posted: 5/27/2006 12:56:48 AM | i use to worked 3 to 11pm for last 7 years..had no social life then..how could i...now i bid out...i'm on day shits ...i work 7 am to 3 pm...least i can socialize now...bit i really hate mornings...lol...ugh!
i have no problem with a guy workin shift work..my ex bf workd outta town every week..so we looked forward to seein each other on weekends. its a job an it payed his bills...i say it takes a special person to put up with someone esles crazy hours...but then again..if you were to come home at 2 am..i would be at the door waitin for you with open arms to greeting you then i would go back to bed..lol....muuuuuuuuuaaaaahhh! | |
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| Dating shift workers
Posted: 5/27/2006 1:15:25 AM | It's cool to see that there are a lot of other night shifters. Factor in being relatively new in a town and soaking as much over-time as possible, and time sure is limited. Though I try to keep an active social life, I also have POF to thank. And.. yes, I am posting this on the clock!
How do other shift workers cope with trying to meet and date people around your work schedule?
Generally I sleep evenings rather than mornings. For those of us that aren't really wanting to rush into things, a breakfast and/or lunch date seems to provide a lite casual atmosphere. As far as evening dates, this provides preparation in advance. Two days prior to the date, you sleep half your normal hours. The next day, you'll get tired quicker and sleep a few hours earlier. The morning (hours before the night date), you'll be tired enough to sleep in the morning and be wide awake for the evening date.
And how do people who date shift workers cope?
So far, so good. Though I'm more interested in dating rather than long term, I still look for quality over quantity. Those I seek, seem to share the same view. It's not how often you see the same person (if a second, third etc... date is in the cards), but the time spent.
Did it affect your decision to date the person in the first place?
Personally speaking, my answer would be no. I disqualify women's traits too much as it is LOL (at oneself). If we dated those that only worked the night shift (though it sounds ideal) , we'd also miss out on about 90+ % of the 'single female' population. | |
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| Dating shift workers
Posted: 5/27/2006 1:27:25 AM | In my job I have actually made a breakfast date with one of my clients that I was speaking to daily (or nightly should I say) We kept each other awake... talking on our cells between calls, we finally agreed to meet up. We dated for a few months after that.
I'm also posting from work, shhhh... I got nothing better to do on the midnight shift. | |
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| Dating shift workers
Posted: 5/27/2006 3:02:18 AM | And i thought i was the only person with this problem.
I work 3rd shift at a hotel 11pm to 7am, and basically everyweekend, unless i ask for one off.
Plus i also work a part-time job that normally runs 2-3 days a week from 5pm to 10pm.
And my dating life sucks azz. same with my social life, most of my friends either work 2nd shift factory or are waiters or waitress's so they tend to party hard after work.
And of course with the group of friends i have if someone introduces a single lady to our group, she normally gets snagged of course after i have talked to her for a while and someone happens to hook up with her when i am not around.
As for dating,, it sucks trying to work a date into my schedual, and i have given up on the whole asking for a friday or saturday off for a date, because it generally gets cancelled.
Plus when i do meet someone and i tell them what i work, it tends to be a turn off because they want to be able to go out late all the time and have fun.
And yes i have talked to women while i am at work on my celly, lol and yes i am at work now till 7am lol. So yea i do have perks of the job but i would give it up for a regular 8-5 job and be able to actually have weekends off and be able to meet people :)
I guess it also kinda makes me wonder why women always expect a guy to be flexable with his dating schedual but the women hardly ever is flexable, its when they want and how they want.
dave | |
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| Dating shift workers
Posted: 5/27/2006 5:32:55 AM | I'm a night shift nurse, I work 7:30pm- 7:30 am
one week I work Mon , tues , fri, sat and sun
the next week I only work wedsneday and thursdays
it's not really difficult that way , more days off for me plus I have every other weekend off.
I also like doing things out of the ordinary , meeting for breakfast or lunch is cool
so is a later night date.
it can be tricky but you just have to work around it , most of the guys I've dated have been okay with my schedule and they learn to memorize it quickly hah | |
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| Dating shift workers
Posted: 5/27/2006 6:47:51 AM | | I have the same problems...Try being a bartender who loves her job and the hours....Some say they understand but when it comes down to it....they don't....As I work every weekend and 2 days a week.....I love working the weekends as this is where my best money comes in......But shoot I figure if they are worth it they will or we will figure a way around this...but it does make dating hard for us that is for sure.... | |
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| Dating shift workers
Posted: 5/27/2006 9:33:22 AM | It certainly does boil down to finding someone willing to try work around each others skeds. And that goes both ways as well. If the woman I'm dating (or trying to!) has kids then I have to be willing to work around her sked too.
My shifts can be a real pain as when I'm doing my round of shifts they aren't all the same. We start on 3 late evening shifts that will run til 3am, then a swing shift 10-6, then an early day shift that would end at 3pm and then your back at 1am for the midnight shift; so your always quick changing.
So you always feel like your either at work or waiting to go to work, arghh!
But hey if she's worth the effort then we'll both be willing to work around the skeds I figure.....just gotta find her first! | |
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| Dating shift workers
Posted: 5/27/2006 9:49:38 AM | Pretty One, thanks much. Hope the west coast fishing goes well for you too. Been to White Rock actually - great beach!
Nite Owl - "time in the Sun"? What's a Sun? Seriously I was never a night person til I started this job, now 9am is O'Stupid O'Clock!
Bella - I like the breakfast date idea...as long as it's at 2pm ish! Hey, breakfast is the first meal of the day - doesn't matter when you have it I say.
hapeenurse and Bama - it is just a matter of finding someone that's willing to be flexible and make the effort.
I sometimes wonder though how many people pass on the opportunity simply because they don't want to try to take on a relationship with someone that requires such an effort. If they aren't emotionally invested why not just wait until the next guy comes along with a more compatible sked. | |
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| Dating shift workers
Posted: 5/27/2006 9:56:37 AM | | If someone is worth getting to know you work around their schedules. I realize that is very hard as my schedule changes everyday but I can still manage to find time to have a little fun!!! | |
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| Dating shift workers
Posted: 5/27/2006 9:59:53 AM | I met one of the most wonderful women I have ever had the pleasure to know through our mutual overnight shifts. She was a military policewoman, and we talked often and enjoyed the experience.
When the contract was almost up, we both realized that we would probably never get a chance to talk again, so I took the chance and asked her out. She had one of the sweetest voices I had ever heard.
Being a military policewoman, I was curious about how she looked. She e-mailed me a photo, and I nearly fell out of my chair.
She looked like a young Claudia Schiffer, and was actually born on the same day I was - just too many years earlier.
We had a great time together, but she was 26 and I was 47.
Walking away from that was one of the toughest things I have ever done. It's a %$^$^ being noble sometimes. | |
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