| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 5/28/2006 3:11:31 PM | Someone recently crossed my path .. and they said .. they were a loner .. and were not interested in dating anyone .. or having a relationship etc .. would never get married .. would never live with someone .. now this not someone I met online .. I am not dating them etc ..
But I was just kinda taken back by it .. 46 year old man .. never married .. no kids .. never even lived with someone .. hmmm
Anyone else find this odd ? or am i being judgemental ? | |
|
Nucci
|
Joined: 5/25/2006
Msg: 2 | |
| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 5/28/2006 3:14:33 PM | Judgmental.
A lot of A sexual type personalities out there.He could be one of them.He could have a fear of rejection or simply just like his solitude. | |
|
| |
| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 5/28/2006 3:17:37 PM | okay .. what is " A " sexual type personality ? ... or do you mean asexual .. one that has no sexual desires ..
Apparently he sits on the couch for 5 to 7 hours at a time .. doing nothing .. not watching tv not reading .. just stares off's and reflects ... | |
|
| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 5/28/2006 3:26:18 PM | | my late grandfathers brother is now in his late 70's...never married/no kids.....hes happy as he could ever be. some ppl are just like that. some are happy with all the family and friends they have...with no need for anything of thier own. | |
|
Nucci
|
Joined: 5/25/2006
Msg: 6 | |
| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 5/28/2006 3:26:24 PM | . lacking any apparent sex or sex organs
2. used to describe reproduction in which there is no fusion of male and female sex cells ( gametes ), for example, vegetative reproduction or budding
3. without sexual desire or activity
Maybe someday his reflections will redeem us all. | |
|
| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 5/28/2006 3:34:00 PM | Some ppl live there life accepting things that are given to them. While each path travels in various directions some lead to lonesomeness for what ever reason.
This man could have had some trauma in his life or has had many bad experiences with relationships. From how you discribed him, it could simply just be deppression. If your the type, then perhaps you should try to befriend him and help him out of his current state of affairs. Men don't easily admit there true feelings and come up with various fronts to what is really bothering them.
Loners are not always true to themselves when it comes to other ppl.
Help the guy.
 | |
|
| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 5/28/2006 3:38:56 PM | OP===>Isn't that better than getting married multiple types and having a never ending line of kids?????
I'd think so.I don't see why there always has to be something worth complaining about.
| |
|
| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 5/28/2006 3:47:53 PM | | He's a nice person .. a tad narcissitic .. but very interesting to speak to .. not sure if i have it in me to give him guidance as you suggested .. but heck as a friend to talk to .. absolutely .. | |
|
red5
|
Joined: 4/11/2006
Msg: 10 | |
| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 5/28/2006 3:52:30 PM | This is off topic, but I think there is an error on the site
Does anyone else have the option to delete this thread (see post 1)?
Have I suddenly become a moderator without asking? | |
|
| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 5/28/2006 4:05:28 PM | It seems to be everywhere...
I've met people like this... loners... male and female... I always kind of admired/envied them... so many troubles come from the need to be 'with' people... but it can be very nice a lot of the time too... | |
|
| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 5/28/2006 4:05:39 PM | looks like its just an option to report the thread not actually delete it........ so no u havent become a mod without notice!!!!
I can not imagine ...... but i do know folks who are that way and not because they havent wanted it but because the right one hasnt crossed their path. | |
|
calaf
|
Joined: 2/27/2006
Msg: 13 | |
| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 5/28/2006 4:06:01 PM | | It does not sound that odd to me. When a person is on his own for several years he can get used to it. You get to do what you want without worrying about how it will affect anyone else. It is lonely but simpler. There are also people that just never desire any relationships. It is called a Schizoid personality disorder. | |
|
| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 5/28/2006 4:32:46 PM | Well, I was a loner most of my younger life. I had maybe 3 people I hung out with in High School, and I won't say they were friends. When I got out on my own, I still preferred my own company to that of others and was intimidated by females. Back then I was very jealous of the guys I hung out with because most of them had girlfriends. Finally, in desperation, I met a girl who said she loved me and I asked her to marry me. Did I love her, no... And never did learn to love her. After 18 years I got a divorce, but by that time, I did learn to talk to women and actually deal with them and strangely enough, ended up getting along better with women than men, but as a buddy. I did go through a series of bad relationships, long and short term live-ins and dating with lots of sex involved. Eventually, I even got tired of the dysfunctional relationships and now am happy being alone. I have a ton of female friends and buddys I hang out with and do things with. I am thinking of getting in a relationship, but mostly for the physical part of it. The emotional part..not so much.
So, yes, I can see someone wanting to be alone...nothing wrong with being alone...but, sometimes it would be nice to have some physical contact with someone else off and on... I haven't shut myself off completely from maybe getting back into a standard relationship, if I were to meet the right woman, and she would have to be VERY special and meet some very strict qualifications...
Oh by the way... I was diagnosed as a Schizoid Personality... However, I guess I am more of a functioning Schizoid since I do enjoy being with people, but only people I choose to be with, rather than just hanging out in crowds... I don't mind being in a relationship, IF the one I am in a relationship allows me to remain me. If she starts changing me...its over... I went through that and never again... I have mentioned my roommate... I have lived with her for about 6 years. We get along great since she lives her life and does what she wants, I live mine and I do what I want, and we do things we like together. The perfect platonic relationship... Which is why I am looking for someone who wants something other than a platonic relationship....
 | |
|
| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 5/28/2006 4:45:30 PM | | THank you .. for sharing that .. shone a whole new light on to the situation .. Haltev | |
|
JayTO
|
Joined: 5/28/2006
Msg: 16 | |
| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 5/29/2006 10:56:42 AM | | Considering all the crap people have to put up with when it comes to dating, relationships, sex, etc. aren't you surprised that you haven't come across more people like this? | |
|
| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 5/29/2006 11:05:24 AM | | Some people just make a choice early on in thier life that they wish to live it alone, as they are content with themselves and thier life. They don't wish to include others who may interfere in thier routine and daily living. They are set in their ways. Nothing wrong with that -it's a personal choice. | |
|
| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 5/29/2006 11:42:07 AM | For me, I hate going out of my house because I see couples walking around and sharing closeness and know that that is something that I will probably never have. I do have my room mate that I go out with sometimes but there is no touching or anything there...we are just friends. I also have a few other female friends, most are married, so, other than them, if I go anywhere I go alone. The marriage and relationships that I have been in were defiinitely not good ones and I would love to find a woman who would be right for me, but in some ways I am terrified to get close to any woman ever again because they just lie, cheat and steal. Yes I know I am lumping all women together, but, how can you sort out the good ones from those who want to destroy you.
I joined this site because I was pretty much looking for intimacy but with no strings attached because those strings soon become ropes and chains and shackles. It is so frustrating...
Oh and to answer the following post... I am comfortable being alone for the most part... and if I had an active sex life and was having lots of sex, I would be even happier and not be on this forum LOL... Sure would be nice.... | |
|
| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 5/29/2006 11:49:12 AM | I once knew a man who said that when he was by himself, he was in good company.Just because a person wants to live alone, don't assume they're celebate.They could have a very active sex life with different partners for all you know.Some people have very demanding careers and other aspects of their life that preclude the possibility of a long term relationship.
It's a big world and it takes all kinds to fill it. | |
|
| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 5/29/2006 12:11:18 PM | | I've been called a loner by people. I don't mean to be that way, I'm just selective about who my friends are. So many times, I get to know someone, and we start becoming buds, and then they turn out to be lowlifes. | |
|
| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 5/29/2006 12:23:35 PM | | for a little while all i needed was my son and dog. I was good with that. Sometimes I think I could be better off that way.. But nothing ventured, nothing gained eh!! | |
|
| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 5/29/2006 12:24:26 PM | Other people can be such an aggravation sometimes.
I look forward to when I can come home and be alone in peace.
It's a trade off really.
To yearn for a tender touch, yet put off by a shallow mind. | |
|
| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 5/29/2006 1:17:54 PM | I enjoy my solitude.. .. but I'm not a loner.. .. I spend time with friends and family.. but I've been married twice.. .. I have spent a total of 36 years of my life living with either my parents or husbands.. .. the last two years...I have lived alone.. .. just me and my trusty doggie.. .. and if I had to pick one over the other.. .. I prefer living alone.. .. and really don't think I would be in any hurry to change that.. .. sometimes.. .. to really discover the true you....your likes and dislikes...what makes you happy ...you have to spend time alone with yourself.. .. makes me alone...but not lonely ...I consider myself great company !
~Pour | |
|
| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 5/29/2006 1:33:21 PM | | I LOVE solitude...I love being alone....and when my daughter is grown and gone, I am off to my cabin in the woods. Just me and nature! It's a beautiful place to be!! | |
|
| Loners - what gives ?
Posted: 5/29/2006 2:29:38 PM | Hey - if he's genuinely happy not having relationships then good luck to the man. Let him live his life as best suits him. It is not for us to judge the man unless he starts hurting people.
Toak | |
|
Home
login 
