| Are We just kidding ourselves??????
Posted: 6/1/2006 2:37:41 PM | I have a question for everyone seeing as this is a dating site and all ..
How often do you actively persue a potential date . do you email more than 1 person a day a week a month or are you just going through the motions and reading profiles and looking at pictures not quite ready to take the plunge , hoping someone will mail you first ?
For me I know I could be trying harder to find a date guess I'm in the still trying to find the nerve catagory ..
Where do you fit in ??????
And do you think your cheating yourself by not trying hard enough ?? | |
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| Are We just kidding ourselves??????
Posted: 6/1/2006 2:49:31 PM | | I kid myself every day. But sometimes the amazing or bizare happens. Because I alow it to happen. If I was in a shell, nothing would happen. | |
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| Are We just kidding ourselves??????
Posted: 6/1/2006 2:54:44 PM | I seem to go in waves........certainly don't set a goal of so many a day or week or month, just respond on the forums, or directly if I find someone interesting..........often will put someone in my favourites for a while before emailing ( dunno why ~ a quirk)......
Every now & then just look & leave ( sometimes for days ), but afraid I'm another forum junkie. (Hi Ron) Quite enjoy the experience ( more so after meeting so many interesting folks at the parties).
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| Are We just kidding ourselves??????
Posted: 6/1/2006 2:56:57 PM | back when i was looking, i admit that i didn't actively contact many men at all.
being a "fat chick", i figured that my chances for rejection were about 90% and that the 10% of men who didn't have body-type preferences would, hopefully, find me. trying to find them was a needle-in-a-haystack experience.
and one did find me!
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| Are We just kidding ourselves??????
Posted: 6/1/2006 2:59:44 PM | | I do not normally persue as a general rule of thumb! lol...although, every once in a while I will come out of my shell, get bold and send a msg to someone that interests me...It is just an up and down thing with me I guess...sometimes I make contact, go on dates and other times I am happy just to fool around here in the forums | |
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| Are We just kidding ourselves??????
Posted: 6/1/2006 3:04:54 PM | | When I was looking I would message guys that I thought would be of an interest to me. But I did feel nervous about messaging them lol and waiting to see if I would get a reply. | |
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| Are We just kidding ourselves??????
Posted: 6/1/2006 3:08:37 PM | | I e-mail people i`ve met more then people i don`t know.In some cases i`m shy that way.I read some profiles.I can`t swim ( i know thats bad isn`t it) so no plunge for me.Oh yeah e-mail me i try and respond to my e-mails, sometimes it works sometimes it doesn`t.I never try, if i try i fail if i don`t try keep going on any way. | |
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| Are We just kidding ourselves??????
Posted: 6/1/2006 3:10:11 PM | I have pretty much stopped messaging people. The men I find interesting do not seem to feel the same. So, I stay pretty much for the forums. Not a daily poster - but a daily reader. Every once in a while I see a new face and might try to send a message to them. Finding a man that has no preference for body type and that is interesting to me is like finding a needle in a haystack.
I am at a few other sites - but a lot of them are here too....so it isn't any better or worse.
I do have a date Sunday though - for brunch - with some one I met at the bus stop on my way to work...... | |
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| Are We just kidding ourselves??????
Posted: 6/1/2006 3:12:43 PM | ROXY.........If you're scared of boys'
How about (drum roll rising to a crescendo, then a CRASH of cymbals)
men???????
I'm so going to get deleted if I keep this up....... | |
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| Are We just kidding ourselves??????
Posted: 6/1/2006 3:19:26 PM | I have to admit I'm a forum junkie. I feel safe here.  Afraid of rejection. Which I'm sure a lot of people are. I worry that having children would be a big factor. So far there's only one that has caught my attention and I was too shy to message first. I don't think things need to be rushed. It'll happen in due time. | |
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| Are We just kidding ourselves??????
Posted: 6/1/2006 3:38:02 PM | | I joined the site and I've been on here for just under 2 years. For the first 6 months I studied the site. Just read profiles and forums. Then I just started e-mailing. In truth for me it was about volume. Talked to alot of women. Pretty much had to. Some would meet men and fall away. I'd find some were just here for the ego boost and I'd stop talking to them. Some where shopping and would never pick a guy. Some were afraid to meet a guy in person (not without just cause in my opinion). BUT I've met alot of really great ladies out of that mix. Being picky about who I e-mailed I've found that about 1 out of 5 were a match for me. | |
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| Are We just kidding ourselves??????
Posted: 6/1/2006 3:42:32 PM | | I'll admit..I very very rarely email anyone first. Forum junkie for sure and I've been messaged by very nice people, and even a lot of them, and they message because of my posts. If something happens, it happens. I've been around here on and off for about 5 years...obviously I'm in no rush lol | |
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| Are We just kidding ourselves??????
Posted: 6/1/2006 3:42:59 PM | well i'm new here but i do message some cause i haven't been getting any e-mails it's ok i guess some will come out of their shell soon ( i hope )  | |
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| Are We just kidding ourselves??????
Posted: 6/1/2006 3:50:46 PM | When I first signed on, I did some messaging, but not alot. I rarely do anymore. If I do contact someone it's because we have met at a party or it's been awhile since we talked. I find writing on the forums is a good way for people to see you and get to know you. Hey that's how I first started talking to my past boyfriend. It was all forum play at first. ANd it was fun. Until I decided to take it to a one on one chat.
PINK ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^that's because you are NOT settling, love ya girl!! | |
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| Are We just kidding ourselves??????
Posted: 6/1/2006 7:39:55 PM | Nope. I don't believe that most people on here are kidding themselves, if what you're talking about is users seriously looking for what ever it is that they'd originally signed on to find. It's not like this is an easy thing to do, though, regardless of what these sites seem to want you to believe:
"Your soulmate is a click away."
I've yet to figure out how they know that, or how they're certain that my soulmate is signed up with them, but it seems fairly rude of these sites not to simply let me know who she is - and vice versa - right from Day One, so that I'm not bothering anyone else who isn't my soulmate and yet happens to pop up in my matches search page throughout the weeks and passing months...
So, I personally just take my time. It's become a hobby of sorts, as opposed to finding someone becoming an hourly obsession or trying to turn this site into a social life placebo. | |
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| Are We just kidding ourselves??????
Posted: 6/1/2006 7:48:06 PM | I dont sit back and hope someone will message me soon. I will admit I watch the profiles across the top of the screen of who have checked their mail recently, if I see someone that looks attractive to me I will read the profile, then depending on the commonality, I have no problem sending an email. If he responds thats great and I will respond back....but I do find sometimes people just stop emailing back and forth and the next thing you know...your looking at the people on the top of the screen who have checked their email last........LOL......
I dont have a problem with nerve...whats the worst that could happen? READ DELETE!
you move on........ | |
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| Are We just kidding ourselves??????
Posted: 6/1/2006 8:25:49 PM | I believe I only contacted a few select men from this site before I met the my BF here.
I joined on 03/19/06 and met him on 03/24/06 and we've been together ever since..so I really didn't have too much single time before we met eachother..
After I met him, I found no need to continue seeking anyone.......I found him! | |
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| Are We just kidding ourselves??????
Posted: 6/1/2006 8:35:13 PM |
being a "fat chick", i figured that my chances for rejection were about 90% and that the 10% of men who didn't have body-type preferences would, hopefully, find me. trying to find them was a needle-in-a-haystack experience.
I am with Devine on this one. I believe the same thing she did.
I do send out emails, and my rejection is definately 90%, if not more. A few that do not have a body preferance have emailed me, but finding one that clicked has not happened. There are times when I feel like it will not happen, so I take a break, and then I give it another try!
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| Are We just kidding ourselves??????
Posted: 6/1/2006 10:56:48 PM | | Yes I will add my name hesitantly to this list as well...not cause I am a "fat chick" but more so I suspect for my age...I receive alot of mail considering the amount I send but I receive mail from outside the confines of Ontario...I guess I somehow fall into outsiders search perimeters more so than Ontarians...? | |
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| Are We just kidding ourselves??????
Posted: 6/2/2006 12:37:23 AM | Some are kidding themselves, some are not.
Me, I just want one thing.
When I find her, it will be there.
So I e-mail, phone, whatever.
No guts, no glory.
Not here for the fun, not here for the opportuinity to get laid.
When I see her, and the lights come up, and the music plays...I'm done.
End of story. | |
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Shaps
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Joined: 4/23/2005
Msg: 24 | |
| Are We just kidding ourselves??????
Posted: 6/2/2006 1:55:08 AM | I concentrate on one girl at a time, mind you I can talk to many, but until the one say's no or get lost so I move on.
Like tonight - I haven't been interested in anyone as of late and only been chatting to a few, but ended up having an awesome conversation with someone. Now 2 females were or at least made me think they were interested yet not hearing back from them only made me think one thing - me not good enough. So I deleted them off my list.
Sorry and I know I am not suppose to be the only one for them but if you don't chat then buh bye.
Now see where this goes, if it doesn't go anywhere then on to the next.
I don't try to get 2-3 girls going like most girls do with guys | |
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| Are We just kidding ourselves??????
Posted: 6/2/2006 6:34:55 AM | Ouch shappy...Like most girls do with guys? Are you high?
This isn't a he said she said thing. Both parties do it. And it isn't even a bad thing to be talking to 2-3 girls at a time, as long as you are clear about it, and when your relationship moves past the, "your a nice person I like to spend time with" to something more you have the will and the ability to become exclusive and not look back.
Edit: your own post shows you were talking to 2 women at the same time...what gives? | |
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