| How do I get my 4yr old to listen?
Posted: 6/2/2006 5:12:17 PM | My daughter is almost 4yr's old. I am getting to the end
of my rope. She won't listen to me no matter what I say or do.
She has a very bad additude like her dad.
She gets into things she gets into everything eg: today she has
spilled the sugar on the table spilled my conditioner on her her rug.
I take things away from her when this happens but it doen't seem to fiz.
eg: No tv for the day. No playing with her friend.
Her birthday is in a few days and I told her she will not be getting a party
if she doesn't start behaving better. I pretended to cancel the cake at
the bakery. she was very upset after I did this and thats when she spilled
the sugar!!!
 any advice would be appreciated!!! | |
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| How do I get my 4yr old to listen?
Posted: 6/2/2006 5:28:08 PM | For starters....re: Birthday Party ....never threaten something that you are not going to follow through with. Big NO! NO! If there is to be no party then NO PARTY.
Put things that she is likely to get into away.
Time outs worked the best for me...in room with no toys...time outs have to be short otherwise the child will forget why they are there...reiterate why they got the time out and ask them to tell you...
I inherited a 3 year old in a new relationship...wow he was a handful...and had a bad attitude...almost a year later and he's almost 100% better. 1, 2, 3, that is about how far I get
Get use to the 'kids never listen' it never changes, you have to find ways to get the point across and their undivided attention.
I found taking away toys a much better incentive to correcting behaviour.
Remember, you are the parent and she is the child.
Just a few thoughts. Hopefully some help.  | |
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| How do I get my 4yr old to listen?
Posted: 6/2/2006 8:26:36 PM | I know it is old fashioned and cruel to do it any more but when my two were going through this stage, I showed them there was a line that I would not be pushed across. Needless to say in their own little testing ways, they got a good swat on the butt. Then a corner. If they got up I swatted their butt again.
I know there are some who will say, "I'll never hit my child!" Well what I did was not "hitting them in the classic sense. Some kids need more than a talking to. At times mine did. What worked for me was (won't work for everyone) the fact they learned dad had a line they could not push me across without punishment. I also did the hand smacking thing. I never had to do it often. They learned quickly it was easier to behave and be rewarded then to be bad and recieve the appropriate punishment.
Good luck!  | |
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| How do I get my 4yr old to listen?
Posted: 6/3/2006 7:33:09 AM | I believe in giving a child a light swat on the butt too. Except I only ever did that to my one daughter one time, and the other kid twice in there lives. I expect kids at 4 years old to test their bounderies. Time outs seem to work good these days, when they are sent to the most boring room in the house for 5 minutes. Not the tool shed where all the gas and matches are kept.
I believe a childs memories start at 4 years old.... so think twice before saying or acting out of character around them. | |
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| How do I get my 4yr old to listen?
Posted: 6/3/2006 7:57:40 AM | Watch Nanny 911 as they really do have some good advice there. Get down to her level, tell her what she did was wrong and put her on time out for 4 minutes. Keep putting her back till she stays put. It will take awhile but she'll finally get it that you arent backing down.
And another thing, I know we all have ex's or what not and I am guilty of this as well but dont say she has a bad attitude "like her dad" I don't know your ex situation but if she loves her daddie that doesn't help.
Also positive talk helps out too. When she is sitting playing nicely say something like "wow, you are being so good, it really makes mommie happy to see you coloring/playing/whatever so queitly" We tend to only give our kids negative talk and rarely say something when they are behaving. . I single parent 4 kids as well as run a dayhome and sometimes it seems easier to yell and scream at bad behaviour and I always try to remember to praise the kids when they are being well behaved.
Good luck and remember they are only little for awhile so hold them close and love them like theres no tomorrow!!!! | |
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| How do I get my 4yr old to listen?
Posted: 6/3/2006 9:52:03 AM | You definitely have to follow through and be consistent. What I would do now is cancel the cake. No party. You threatened it, now you have to do it or you teach her you won't follow through.
She's getting to the age where she is going to be able to understand the difference between good and naughty behaviour. What I did for my daughter when she was younger was give her choices. I would tell her when she was starting something ... you can stop that right now and go find something nice to do, or you can continue and get the consequences of your actions. Choose wisely.
After a few poor choices, she learned mommy was much more inclined to take her for an ice cream if she made better ones. I wouldn't take her to the mall, the store, for ice cream, to a restaurant ... nothing. When she asked why, I'd tell her ... "You made a poor choice in behaviour, now I'm afraid I have to take away nice things to do. I'm sorry, I don't like doing it, but it was your choice. Maybe next time you'll choose wisely and we can go for a treat."
It will help her to learn that in everything in life, there is a consequence. Good and bad. | |
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| How do I get my 4yr old to listen?
Posted: 6/3/2006 1:18:23 PM | Thanx everyone for the great advice. I know I will try alot
of the things mentioned here.
She has been as good as gold yesterday when I threatened
to take her birthday party away. She probualy has done alot
of thinking since then.
I am thinking she is trying to earn it back lol. And she just might
get her party depends on what happens between now and the
party.
Again thanx | |
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| How do I get my 4yr old to listen?
Posted: 6/3/2006 1:21:50 PM | ritilan and leashes?? oooops i mean ummm that's wrong lol...(I have 2 little ones in my life that are 4 who are just sooooo going through the same thing and the thought occurs to me...)
good luck to you and keep in mind this stage passes...being consistent and following through are huge.. the guys i deal with know i am not going to cancel christmas or bday parties or halloween...so they push around that stuff. Stay in control and alsways follow through no matter what punishment you blurted out. | |
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| How do I get my 4yr old to listen?
Posted: 6/3/2006 1:27:14 PM | ooh...four is hard. way worse than the "terrible two's" in my opinion.
i just wanted to mention besides being consistent (doing what you SAY you're going to do), i find that kids are like dogs in that they respond WAY better to praise over punishment.
try catching her doing the things you WANT her to do & make a BIG DEAL about it. positive reinforcement goes a long way.
good luck!!
~ j | |
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| How do I get my 4yr old to listen?
Posted: 6/4/2006 9:27:02 PM | hmm well theres a pickle ur a wimp, u buckle over n cave in to a 4 yr old
stand firm on what u say and mean it, its because ur a wimp that she treats u like that and she knows it,start the groundings and standing in the corners, take away deserts n sweets,no tv etc, time to crack down on this n nip it in the bud, make her earn what she enjoys as in make her do chores and carry her weight, she obviously is the adult in the house already because ur the one in fear of a 4 yr old, kinna odd how that happens im sure it crept up awfully fast on u.my sister has a 7 yr old just like that, he never listens and talks back ,retends he doesnt hear ya and will walk roght up n talk thru ya when ur talking, since i got here i chopped his lil throne up and now he listens and behaves better, just gotta b firm n mean what u say and the second they step out of line i have to send em to there room, until the behaviour gets within acceptable limits, u have to b tuff, kids want to b good and enjoy praise, but the ne thing is they need to earn it and learn it , else they turn into ignorant rude teenagers who get tossed in group homes and juvy halls. u are the authority figure and regardless how cute they are and how much u love them , u must teach them to control themselves and behave, and respect u, or else u wont have there love and they will walk all over u | |
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