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 jodygurl1
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 1
what do you do when your man checks your phone?Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I was at my mans house one night and he was askin me foolish questions if I was cheatin on him....he even said that I dont like him anymore he can tell....this man is my world and I adore.... I could not even imagine cheatin on him..... but I got up to use the bathroom and he had my cell lookin through it normally I wouldn't mind but he did it sneaky instead of doin it in front of my face and that hurt me.... I have nothin to hide he could of done it when I was in the room.... I really dont know what to make of this and its eatin away at me because I cant be with someone that dont trust me....
 little_boo
Joined: 4/9/2006
Msg: 2
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what do you do when your man checks your phone?
Posted: 6/5/2006 9:04:19 AM
urm break his neck??
 terminallycute
Joined: 8/3/2005
Msg: 3
what do you do when your man checks your phone?
Posted: 6/5/2006 9:06:23 AM
what would I do??

I would take my cell phone from him..pick up my things, and tell him to have a nice life while I was walking out the door!

sounds like this guy is insecure and if you put up with these little actions from him, it will only get worse.
 YamIhere
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 4
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what do you do when your man checks your phone?
Posted: 6/5/2006 9:07:18 AM
DUMP HIM ... god, this one is easy. Don't be stupid. This guy is a controller with trust issues that allow ME to say "Hey, this guy has trust issues." Now it's your cell phone. Next it will be that you're not even allowed to let your eyes wander while he's not with you. Seriously, get rid of him immediately. You should be seeing a giant RED FLAG at this point.
 darkstorm73
Joined: 6/18/2005
Msg: 5
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what do you do when your man checks your phone?
Posted: 6/5/2006 9:09:36 AM
My point would be to ask him if he found what he was looking for? Explain that if he wants to check your phone in the future, to ask because you consider that a "crossing the line" into your area of privacy and you would rather he sift through your garbage than look through your PERSONAL ITEMS without permission. Then, I would have offered him the phone and asked: "Are you finished?" Let him know in the future, he needs permission because doing without is a violation of your privacy AND YOUR TRUST IN HIM! It IS. I have no problem with such things, but one of my peeves is someone going through my purse without asking. The reason is, I have a system so I can find things in a hurry, and someone sifting through it screws that up, but if I know they are going to, I can straighten it out when they're done or at least know where the put so-and-so.
 jodygurl1
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 6
what do you do when your man checks your phone?
Posted: 6/5/2006 9:10:05 AM
should I just walk away and not call him no more and let it be!!!
 Islandsugar
Joined: 1/1/2006
Msg: 7
what do you do when your man checks your phone?
Posted: 6/5/2006 9:10:20 AM
Oh honey.... sounds to me he is feeling like he cant trust himself. Is that what you want to look forward to in a relationship is walking on egg shells... I would take a hard look at what is going on and really think about what you want out of life. The behaviour he has can grow into much worse behaviour... TRUST me.. thats only to say if you really are not giving him any reason to think you would be cheating, and being nothing but honest with him. And if he thinks you are cheating and keeps hounding you its probably because he is feeling guilty for doing something just like it... Good luck babe
 wondernurse
Joined: 11/3/2004
Msg: 8
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what do you do when your man checks your phone?
Posted: 6/5/2006 9:11:04 AM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
What he said!!! RUN, dont walk...



OE: in response to msg 4
 little_boo
Joined: 4/9/2006
Msg: 9
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what do you do when your man checks your phone?
Posted: 6/5/2006 9:11:05 AM
yeah call him.................all the names you can think of..
 just me *
Joined: 3/24/2006
Msg: 10
what do you do when your man checks your phone?
Posted: 6/5/2006 9:11:06 AM
not sure what anyone else has to say but from experience i have found the more jealeous one acts the more guilty they are just a thought there is a million other possiblities
good luck i hope you can work it out one way or another
matt
 ~SpiffyKat~
Joined: 8/16/2005
Msg: 11
what do you do when your man checks your phone?
Posted: 6/5/2006 9:11:45 AM
I would absolutely mind whether a man did this behind my back,or had the audacity to do it in front of me.I wouldve said,"While your at it can you delete your number from my phone?I wont be needing it anymore"...
 rainbowfishh
Joined: 4/20/2006
Msg: 12
what do you do when your man checks your phone?
Posted: 6/5/2006 9:13:11 AM
If your not cheating
then why are you staying with him?

Maybe he isnt the one for you and if so...
you need to get him out of your life so the right one
can find you
 jodygurl1
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 13
what do you do when your man checks your phone?
Posted: 6/5/2006 9:16:38 AM
I adore this man with all my heart...I would never cheat I haven't cheated in the past and I wouldnt start now so I dont know if he is insecure because he works a lot and he is not seein me like he use to or if he thinks I am goin to burn him like his ex did I dunno....
 darkstorm73
Joined: 6/18/2005
Msg: 14
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what do you do when your man checks your phone?
Posted: 6/5/2006 9:20:34 AM

I adore this man with all my heart...I would never cheat I haven't cheated in the past and I wouldnt start now so I dont know if he is insecure because he works a lot and he is not seein me like he use to or if he thinks I am goin to burn him like his ex did I dunno....


It's possible that it's all the above. My response to a situation like this was: "I am not [insert ex's name]... this is ME. Don't PUNISH me for what she did because I'm not like that and if you don't know that by now, then you don't know me at all and maybe we need to rethink this relationship because {what you said about him being the world to you} and I don't deserve to be punished for someone else's shortcomings and failures." You don't have to be mean, but you have to be firm. AND reassurring.
 melonaide777
Joined: 2/2/2006
Msg: 15
what do you do when your man checks your phone?
Posted: 6/5/2006 9:23:07 AM
I wouldn't really worry about the phone.
When he starts wanting to control all your money so that you can't escape THEN I'd worry.

I'm not real crazy about people on my computer either.
I take care of too much stuff online for people to just be snooping around on it....although I don't have anything to hide other than account numbers that they need passwords to access, but I don't like stuff getting changed. I would let a person use it but they have to ask and they can't change anything.....but snooping....not really worried about snooping as long as they are acting sane in the meantime.....and there is a difference between asking and accusing. I would probably never tell someone to not ask me something...not if they were civilized.
 jodygurl1
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 16
what do you do when your man checks your phone?
Posted: 6/5/2006 9:32:12 AM
he is normally pretty good...but ever since he started his new job we dont see each other like we use to he has gotten insecure....and askin me if I am with someone else.....someone else is not even a thought in my mind....
 waytootall68
Joined: 12/16/2005
Msg: 17
what do you do when your man checks your phone?
Posted: 6/5/2006 9:33:29 AM
Well now he knows your not cheating, so the accusations may stop now,he was wooried and now his mind is at ease
 privatenites
Joined: 11/12/2005
Msg: 18
what do you do when your man checks your phone?
Posted: 6/5/2006 9:35:30 AM
OP - don't listen to that "the ex burned me sh*t" - more excuses for his inappropriate controlling behavior

My good friend just moved out from her boyfriend this past weekend - he sounds exactly like the man you adore - after he got done going thru her cell phone (which turned into a daily thing) - he started on her about her friends - her makeup (which she doesn't wear much of because she's naturally beautiful) - her clothes - you name it - he tried to control it

F*ck that - dump him - let some other women deal with his lack of self-esteem issues!!!

You deserve better.................
 kr8ztwin
Joined: 7/29/2004
Msg: 19
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what do you do when your man checks your phone?
Posted: 6/5/2006 9:36:39 AM
bad sign and could get worse. You just need to decide what your limit is.

good luck with that.
 melonaide777
Joined: 2/2/2006
Msg: 20
what do you do when your man checks your phone?
Posted: 6/5/2006 9:36:57 AM
If I was you and he wasn't being all insane and upset without proof of anything, I would let him snoop to a certain degree to put his mind at ease because the thing is....if you get deffensive when someone asks a question...in the event they just ask and not get all crazy....and you insist they trust you.....then that might make them MORE paranoid. If you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to hide, right?

Some people just find it harder to trust but in any case....he shouldn't be getting hateful and making accusations. That's aggravation.
 phantom888
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 21
what do you do when your man checks your phone?
Posted: 6/5/2006 9:37:31 AM
If I was checking your phone it would have to mean that I was insecure about our relationship. It has nothing to do with you other than you are going to be the recipient of paranoid treatment until you get out. And that you may want to consider sooner than later. It is not healthy and there is no telling what comes next but it won't get better with this guy. He needs counselling.
 dbndon
Joined: 7/15/2005
Msg: 22
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what do you do when your man checks your phone?
Posted: 6/5/2006 10:06:39 AM
.

Truthfully, I doubt very much if I would care one way or the other, if that happened to me (and the cell phone is my only phone).

Probably I shouldn’t say this, but when I got my new phone I didn’t program anyone in it. One day she asks, “you want me to program the thing?” When I laughed, she took my personal phone book and put every name and number in my new phone, never once asking who any of those people were.

But, this is a rather different type of relationship. We already know who the other calls and why, just as we also know what the other is doing all day. Not cause we’re snooping, just because that usually comes up in normal conversation. It’s called “being interested” in each other. There is no need to ask, or snoop.

So, if I picked up her cell phone to use (or just to see how it works), she wouldn’t care any more than I would. That I do not mess with her phone, except to use it occasionally, is simply because I’m not really interested in the thing.

.
 deflection
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 23
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what do you do when your man checks your phone?
Posted: 6/5/2006 10:13:03 AM
Start making your exit plan. I've seen it happen too many times, the accusations of cheating and controlling behavior will not go away.. you will have to leave for it to stop. Even if you arent ready to end the relationship now, start figuring out how you will.
 i love canada
Joined: 5/8/2006
Msg: 24
what do you do when your man checks your phone?
Posted: 6/5/2006 10:22:57 AM
yeah that sure isn't cool. not at all.
it is obvious he has insecurities. i think you probably should communicate to him about it..about it al (that you don't appreciate his lack of trust in you, that you don't like the way he searches your phone like he doesn't trust you etc)
 whocareswhyimhere
Joined: 5/24/2006
Msg: 25
what do you do when your man checks your phone?
Posted: 6/5/2006 10:25:21 AM
Not to try to sound like I'm taking his side.... but have you people ever thought of hearing his side of the story before passing judgement? There are usually two sides to every story.
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