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 AUTHOR
How long before you tell a person you love them?Page 1 of 1    
It took my ex fiancee 6 months to tell me, my ex husband told me in about 6 weeks. When is the appropriate timing? How quick is too quick? *assuming of course you do really love the person* LOL
 rainbowfishh
Joined: 4/20/2006
Msg: 2
How long before you tell a person you love them?
Posted: 6/5/2006 10:54:43 AM
when its right and sincere... that
would be the right time.
With the guy I am dating now... he told me he loved me
in a few days...
but that didnt mean much to me unless the actions followed.

His actions followed...
so I do believe he does.



 Some Dude
Joined: 1/17/2006
Msg: 3
How long before you tell a person you love them?
Posted: 6/5/2006 10:56:08 AM
Took me just over 8 months of dating to say that. I said it when I was positive that I felt that way.
How long before you tell a person you love them?
Posted: 6/5/2006 10:58:16 AM
It takes me a lonnnnng time I guess. I think if you say it too early you're doomed to be stomped on. The other person will tell you they love you too just so they don't feel awkward.

I was just asking because one of the guys at work started seeing someone and he told her he loved her after TWO WEEKS. Yikes.

But I guess they're all "happy and in love" still after a month. LOL
How long before you tell a person you love them?
Posted: 6/5/2006 10:59:24 AM
Rainbowfish-That's sweet. I really hope it works out for you.
 Solkin
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 6
How long before you tell a person you love them?
Posted: 6/5/2006 11:03:17 AM
Those are powerful words, and they shouldn't be thrown around haphazardly. I for one, don't say it unless it is definitly for real, and not out of lust, or because I think that's what she wants to hear. Took me 3 months to tell my last girlfriend that I loved her, yet she started saying it to me within a few weeks.

From past experience, my very first girlfriend at 17, I told her I loved her withing a couple weeks, and her response was "No you don't". Never again, I hold off, and make sure it's actually what I am feeling, before I say it.

I suppose there is a limit to how long you have to wait though. I wouldn't want to stick around in a long-term relationship with someone that didn't openly tell me that they loved me. What limit would that be? I guess I would have to feel out the situation, and take it as time comes.

 little_boo
Joined: 4/9/2006
Msg: 7
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How long before you tell a person you love them?
Posted: 6/5/2006 11:04:32 AM
years ago i was married for 13 years he told me he loved me when i told him i was leaving him!!!
How long before you tell a person you love them?
Posted: 6/5/2006 11:06:39 AM
I understand Solkin. I was about ready to get out after 6 months. I figured if he didn't tell me by now he didn't love me and I wasn't going to stick around for something that wasn't there. He ended telling me without me saying anything to him in a couple of days. It's good he did because his butt was gonna be gone the next day.

Now that I think about it, that would've been soooo much easier than the aftermath I had to deal with staying with him.
 Adam Taylor
Joined: 5/11/2006
Msg: 9
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How long before you tell a person you love them?
Posted: 6/5/2006 11:52:08 AM
When?

As soon as you realize that you do truly love them.
 cpandguts
Joined: 3/29/2006
Msg: 10
How long before you tell a person you love them?
Posted: 6/5/2006 4:25:25 PM
For some people they only date those that they know they 'can' fall in love with ...so it does not take long before they can say 'I love you'.

I think of love this way ...I saw my baby son and I loved him right away. So why is it impossible to love someone I meet right away? Its not. You can feel 'in love' in a matter of weeks. Its a phase and phase 2 and phase 3 etc. are just a deepening of that love.

If you dont feel 'love' after a month of dating then perhaps you are 'just killing time' with someone and enjoying 'being loved' by them.

...cheers!
 psssst
Joined: 2/8/2006
Msg: 11
How long before you tell a person you love them?
Posted: 6/5/2006 4:30:03 PM
When you feel secure enough to say it... and I don't mean when you think the other will say 'I love you' back.

Tell the person how you feel when you feel it...
 GoodKittyGoneBad
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 12
How long before you tell a person you love them?
Posted: 6/5/2006 4:32:02 PM
Ahhh the dreaded L word! I say keep it to yourself til you've been with them at least 6 months to a year. You don't know someone truely til you've been with them awhile. It's easy to get carried away at the first of a relationship...but only time will tell if you get past the feelings of falling in love and it becomes more. Nothing worse than telling someone you love them, in the heat of the moment, then finding out 4 months down the road that you can't stand them when the newness wears off....so I think it's better to sit on the dreaded L word and see how things work out over time.
 horselady48
Joined: 1/10/2006
Msg: 13
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How long before you tell a person you love them?
Posted: 6/5/2006 4:48:28 PM
I agree with jaya4cd
 uonlylive1ce
Joined: 5/6/2006
Msg: 14
How long before you tell a person you love them?
Posted: 6/5/2006 4:52:21 PM
Do you even have to say it? Actions are stronger than words. I know eventually you have to say it, but i can tell if a woman loves me before she says the words.
 ginibin
Joined: 5/14/2006
Msg: 15
How long before you tell a person you love them?
Posted: 6/5/2006 5:22:10 PM
As soon as I feel it, but I make sure they first understand it's not a leash, contract or obligation to love me back and I generally don't know whether or not they deserve it. I tell them I'll let them know later if I believe they deserve it....or not. I do however, love forever, regardless of the person's character. I will not sacrifice my well being for that love. I can love magnificently, and still let a person go-I hope they go with God, but if they are bad for me, they'll have to go from my life.

Best wishes and all my love,

Gini
 Who Knows_28
Joined: 8/29/2006
Msg: 16
How long before you tell a person you love them?
Posted: 12/12/2006 4:29:50 PM
Til you feel it!
 cutie99
Joined: 9/16/2006
Msg: 17
How long before you tell a person you love them?
Posted: 12/12/2006 7:30:07 PM
My ex husband told me he loved me 5 years into the relationship, and that was when I threatened to leave his sorry ass. I told him I loved him (turns out I wasn't really "in love") about 6 mths into the relationship.

Everyone is different. They "fall in love" differently. You'll know when its right for you. You can typically sense/feel when both parties are in love and I would say thats the best time to say it. Could be 3 weeks, 3 mths, or 6 mths.. into the relationship. Doesn't matter when.
 Chris Money
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 18
How long before you tell a person you love them?
Posted: 12/13/2006 7:07:42 AM
One it has to come naturally from the heart and at the right time....its scary when it happens to quick
 QUICKDOGSMOOCH
Joined: 12/8/2006
Msg: 19
How long before you tell a person you love them?
Posted: 12/13/2006 7:15:26 AM
He must think you are hot. Now is a great time to ask him to go around fixing stuff. How's the furnace filter, is it needing replacing? How about that screen is there a hole in it ? Is there a sqweek in the car ?
 *tinydancer*
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 20
How long before you tell a person you love them?
Posted: 12/13/2006 7:15:35 AM
I tell 'em on the first date. Then if they say it back, I run like hell...... Seriously, I don't think there's a time frame to tell someone you love them. Usually both people know when the time is right. And it's extremely frightening to be the first one. I personally have never said it first. The fear of them not saying anything at all is too scary for most people. Sometimes it's hard to discern the difference between love and lust and getting caught up in the moment. But I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve and I'm a little impulsive at times so there's a distinct possibility I might take a chance in the future and say it first.
 huckfinnsr
Joined: 6/26/2006
Msg: 21
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How long before you tell a person you love them?
Posted: 12/13/2006 7:24:06 AM
I think the first I love you in a relationship turns control of that relationship over to the other person. A relationship that matures gets past that but in the beginning that seems to be the case.
 CLEOPATRAROSE
Joined: 7/28/2006
Msg: 22
How long before you tell a person you love them?
Posted: 12/13/2006 7:50:39 AM
when you feel the time is right you will both know it and feel it.
 canyunflyer
Joined: 2/6/2006
Msg: 23
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How long before you tell a person you love them?
Posted: 12/13/2006 8:29:50 AM
Hmmmmm? I read thru the posts.... thinking about this. It finally occurred to me:

"Whenever you want to"!!! Its your life... Its your Heart... you can do whatever the darn well you want with it. Life really is too short to define who you are and what you do by what others might 'think'... or how they might 'react'.

don't you think we have become way too anylitical about things like Love in the last 50 years? Yes... I'm as guilty as anybody.
 edmborn
Joined: 10/26/2006
Msg: 24
How long before you tell a person you love them?
Posted: 12/13/2006 1:49:16 PM
Agree with it all. The problem is that we seldom fall in love with the person that has fallen in love with us. REALLY what are the odds that we will both fall in love with each other...........then what are the odds that we will have the guts to say it???!!!???

WHAT ARE THE ODDS>>>>>>>>>>>>
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