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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 6/7/2006 8:23:38 PM | | As a BBW in Montreal what does it take for a man to be intrested in us. Men have told me I am attractive but when it comes to my weight they cannot deal with it. I am seeing this guy and we have become great friends. We talk for hours almost all day everyday, and spend alot of time together. He is very much into me and everything is postive. However he wishes that I was not overweight. It is the only thing that he does not find attractive in me. Can I have suggestions on what I can do. I care for him and wish he would accept me the way I am. | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 6/7/2006 8:42:39 PM | | You can diet, or take your time and maybe he’ll start to accept you for who you are with time, but if I were you and really into him and he is worth the effort, I would do something about my weight. | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 6/8/2006 7:19:52 AM | I've said it once, I'll say it again.
We are not all attracted to the same thing.
If you want to lose weight for yourself, then do it. As for "making" men attracted to you, I'm not thin, but I don't usually have much trouble in that area, even here in Montreal. Why? Because I am what I am, I am comfortable with me, confident, and really don't give a hoot what anyone else thinks about me and how I look. I like me, end of story, someone doesn't...well, NEXT!
I am constantly told that confidence makes up of a myriad of negatives, one of which is weight.
Become happy and accepting of you, and generally others will follow suit, and if they don't, well if you're happy with yourself, what others think isn't going to bother you.
End of sermon for the day. | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 6/8/2006 7:37:59 AM | Pooh, I have to put my 2 cents in here. And remember before you POFers send me back nasty replies........ I AM NOT BLAMING ANY SEX FOR THIS, I AM TALKING ABOUT BOTH SEXES.
Pooh, I myself and not a small woman. If men (and women) are obsessed with size, they will never ever find the person that would probably make them happy if they are so into external beauty. I think that a lot of people have been too *hollywoodized* and are obsessed by being with someone that is beautiful not only to their eyes, but to everyone elses eyes too. These people don't think for themselves, they are conforming to a society that has bred into them that big is not beautiful. Or that outide beauty is going to make them happy. Pshaw on that I say. And please don't get me wrong, I'm not only talking about weight here, I'm also generalizing about looks as well.
There are many people out there that are overweight, or not *Catherine Zeta Jones* or Brad Pitts, but are beautiful souls, yet nobody seems to want to be with them because of the weight/looks issue. I have always been lucky that when I have had relationships, my size/looks did not matter to them, it was what was on my shoulders and in my heart that counted the most.
If someone really does fall for you, the way you are, THEY are the ones that are the lucky person to see truly the person that you are, not what society has told them they have to fall in love with.
Honestly, I'm the kinda person that looks at it this way, either you like me for who I am, or otherwise, I can't be bothered with people who are so shallow ..... reminds me of *shallow Hal*
If you are a beautiful person inside, and others see that, and you are surrounded by friends that don't look at your weight as an issue, trust me, one day the person who will truly love you will look at all that and see the *real* you. There are a lot of men out there that like BBW, I think there are a lot of beautiful people out there that get overlooked because they don't conform...... Try opening your eyes to that idea.. If you yourself go for the size/looks aspect of it... You get my point?
BBW and proud of it....... and I'll wait for my Mr. Right ......... he'll come along eventually.....
Pooh, just remember my motto......... The harder you look for something the further away it gets........ Just wait for it, it will fall into your lap when you are least expecting it!!
Keep the peace!! | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 6/8/2006 11:10:29 AM | I agree with Vanessa & Harmony 100%.
Confidence can override many things, and it is seen by almost all men as sexy (even if the person isn't).
When a man likes everything about a woman except her weight, then it is the same as a woman liking everything about a man except his blue collar job, or his balding head.
It is very superficial, and in my opinion if a guy can't see and accept your inner beauty above all else, then he isn't worth the time.
Even if you did lose weight, you would always worry about what would happen if you gained it back.
Hold out for the real thing. Someone who really cares about you, and not just the packaging. | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 6/8/2006 7:07:05 PM | I’ve had that problem many times, I been with this guy for 5 months now and everything is great but he has a problem with my weight, he told me that he loves me and will not leave me because of the weight, but it is bothering him. He said if I try to loose it it will make him happy and proud of me, so this is not an issue about not loving me because of the weight, just that I will be more appreciated and that it will make me more happy.
I don’t think that giving someone an option to take me or go to the next option will solve anything, I went through all kinds of men before I found this one and I will try my best to make him as comfortable as I can to appreciate me. Sometimes I look at my self in the mirror and I ask myself if I was a man would I go for her and I get confused in what I am thinking, thank God for love because if it was just looks I would never have a chance on a partner. It is true what you guys are saying that there are some good men out there that will love a woman no matter how they look like but that is only a few, why do I have to stay heavy because there are some good men, I think being heavy is not a good thing, and also on the health side it is not healthy, It’s like saying I smoke cigarettes so take me the way I am or get lost, next thing you know you find yourself in a hospital bed dieing of some health problem, if God wanted us to be fat we would have been born fat, I’m not taking sides here, why not just take care of yourself, I know it’s hard but hey, you don’t have to listen to me. I will be back here to let you know how I feel when I lost the weight, maybe you will understand when you hear it from a person that lost the weight and how it changed my life for the better. | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 6/8/2006 7:45:12 PM | Hey all you guys let me tell you a story, 6 years ago I was 415 pounds, I had everything, I was a successful business man, I had three cars, money, and more, but the pressure of the business made me forget about myself, then one day I met a lady that I started caring for and she cared for me also, I finally started to realize that everything I had did not mean anything to me because I still felt unhappy, there was something missing in my life and felt this lady was what I was missing, One day I told this lady how I felt about her and she said she felt the same way but she could not handle the fact that I was so heavy(fat) and could not fall in love with me. So it broke my heart to hear that from her. I was so sad that I could not concentrate on my work, so I had to make a decision on what I needed out of life, my priority started to change from wanting success it changed to wanting to be loved because it felt better. So what I did was? I called the bank manager and said I’m shutting down the business and declaring bankrupts, take everything, I do not care what happens, told the bank manager I was starting a new business, my new business is to take care of myself, and that’s when I joined the gym and started my diet. This was just after 911, it is now six year and I’m down to 235 pounds, I lost 180 pound, I think that this task was the hardest task to achieve because it was about dealing with my worst enemy which is myself, I learned that if a person can fight with themselves and win, then nothing in the world can stop them from doing anything they want, that is what we call a winner, so now when someone tells me that they cannot loose weight, that’s like telling me that they are losers. But it took a lady to motivate me the be strong.
So when someone tells me that woman are useless, I’ll know what to tell them. Ever watch Hercules when you were young, did you notice that when he puts on that ring he becomes the strongest man in the world, the ring is a symbol of winning a woman in your life, the symbol of security of having a woman as in marriage. I wanted to feel like Hercules, so I’m still loosing the weight, I’ll reach my goal soon at 200 pounds and I will have that ring that I can raise to the sky like Hercules and share it with the love that will be mine for ever.
SCATTERBRAIN | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 6/9/2006 8:18:56 AM |
He said if I try to loose it it will make him happy and proud of me, so this is not an issue about not loving me because of the weight, just that I will be more appreciated and that it will make me more happy.
Dunno, but I have a bit of an issue with the above, because it sounds like a bit of a control problem IMO. I'm not about to do something like lose weight because it will make a man happy and proud of me. Or make him appreciate me more. I do things like that for myself and myself only. But that's just me. If it works for you then great, go for it.
While I agree in alot of cases, extra weight is something that people have just plain decided not to deal with, it isn't like smoking. When you're a smoker, you don't *need* cigarettes to sustain life, unfortunately, we all need food to sustain life. That makes it the evil that it is.
And, the way that our bodies metabolize said food is also different from person to person. I haven't made the decision that everything I eat reside on my butt & thighs....believe me! I am extremely active, moreso than alot of thinner people, but I have to watch my intake all the time and still I lose very slowly (which is better anyway). And then there's the friend of mine that eats like crazy, all the wrong stuff and is stick thin. Is it fair? No, but that's just life, you are dealt the cards you're dealt and better learn to live with them or it will be a miserable life.
End of story, learn to like you, and guess what? You might make that effort to lose the extra weight for yourself. Took me a long time to learn that, 100lbs down, another 60 or so to go, but I'm not going to hate myself in the process, that's just counterproductive, I'm still the fab person with the extra 60 that I will be without it (and I'm sure that you are all pretty much the same).
PS. Go Val! | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 6/9/2006 11:49:35 AM | no to be mean but in my case my probleme was to gain weight i was tall way too tall for my age when i was a kid and the bones were the only thing heavy...
6'4 at 15years old and 130lbs my growth stopped at that age when i reached 17 i started to gain weight and woah i look so much better now not too big not too skinny just perfect + my current job is outside and really demanding on the physical side ( heavy things to move all day )
yes i am superficial but not extremely i just want a women that isn't as large as a 6'4 guy so i think its normal. | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 6/12/2006 11:43:23 PM | what the hell?
BBW's rock!
Honestly, one of the sexiest things for me is when a girl knows she's bigger, but carries herself without a care in the world about it.
Confidence is sexy. | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 6/13/2006 10:28:27 AM | I want to thank Vaness44, Yerffoeg, harmony1969, laurared and lotsaluv for everything you wrote. You are all caring people and I have read everything you guys wrote and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
poooh_bear
aka Robie | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 6/14/2006 8:32:36 AM | Question of "preference" I guess, as much as some women only look up for muscular men, or very tall, etc etc etc.
Let's first concentrate on the specific: BBW why? Am asking why as there is many reasons/factors why a woman or a man is overweight/underweight.
- Glandual?
- Structural?
- Chemical?
- Inballanced diet? (yes, read inballanced..not quantity, as some type of food don't mix well)
- Improper excercise routine? (again, read improper, not lack of, as if not done correctly, you can spend 5 days in a gym and achieve nothing)
- Psychological? (stress and other can affect greatly this)
- a subtle mix of all of the above? (the most common)
By attacking the source at the root you will understand even more the situation and see more clearly what needs to be done. hey! am not saying that it is easy, especially today with all those charlatants selling you various "miracles"...that do nothing; but you will accept a bit more yourself and understand yourself a bit better.
Evaluate yourself according to the healthy body/mass ratio first, and not (never) to society expectation. From that point you can calculate cholesterol, fat, density and such.
but Ok..you probably know it all already...
As for the interpersonal relationship,
He might be using this factor as a stop-gap measure or he is genuine with his feeling, although, most will overlook such little "imperfection" if they really care for the person.
am gonna give some totes into this matter..will get back later. | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 6/15/2006 8:37:35 AM | | I'm a BBW.I like it that way.I learned that people do accept me that way.I even promote BBW by doing modeling.Curves are great.I'm not worried about my weight cause then I'd be miserable all my life.Instead of trying to change,I just learn to do with it and show the positive aspect of it.There's more and more modeling websites about BBW,that's a wonderful thing to boost confidence and show how curves can be 'not so gross'. | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 6/17/2006 8:19:23 PM | | Men love confidence, doesnt sound like your to confident. Dont allow your weight to define you as a person, fat is where it's at...say it loud say it proud lol if he cant accept that **** him! (Not literally of course lol) | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 6/18/2006 9:50:26 PM | | I wish someone that is not overweight would have something to say in this forum, it must be really frustrating for you overweight people that you have the need to speak your mind. I would really like to hear an opinion from someone that takes there life serious and takes care of them self and hear there opinion, someone that is qualified to give opinions. you guys think that I’m a skinny person, guess again lol, I’m not, like all you extra large people I am extra large also, I just have my opinion on extra large people, I guess I qualify for an opinion also, so for all you over weight people, do something about it. You’re not crippled, you’re just overweight. | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 6/19/2006 3:27:42 PM | fat is where it's at...say it loud say it proud?
I have a bro that got a stroke at 28 years old because he was over weight, so if fat is where it is then good luck to you my dear, when you’re lying in that hospital bed because you got a stroke, I’ll say it loud, and we’ll see if you'll be proud? | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 6/19/2006 3:57:11 PM | To me, a woman's face is the most important thing. If she has a beautiful attractive face (especially the eyes), I'm willing to overlook other things including size.
However, I'm not attractive to someone big who also has a big face which is sometimes the case with BBW, but not always.
I remember once there was a bank teller (no longer at that branch though) who had the most beautiful, attractive face.. a really amazing looking face yet she was quite big too but I didn't care. I would have went out with her in a heartbeat but I never bothered to ask 'cause she had the ring on...  | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 6/27/2006 1:07:00 AM | IMHO,
Having a few extra pounds over ur "ideal weight" isnt bad at all. I do belive tht when it gets to the point where it start to play on ur happiness/confidence and more importantly ur health something needs to be done! If your happiness/confidence is directly linked to how attractive you feel to the other sexe, then put in the work and just be happy! Ive seen Vanessa44 live and see nothing wrong with her! Ive done photo shoots with Aube and find her wonderful!
A few etra pounds is ok, but being fat isnt and unhappy about it even worst... if ur 100lbs over ur "ideal weight", you should stop looking in the mirror and start lookind at a personal trainer directory!
Look, we only have soo long to live, the sooner ur decide to be happy (loosing the unhealthy weight IF thts the problem or finding tht self-confidence ur missing) the more you'll enjoy the years you have left on this earth! Plus happy people live longer ;)
OneLove,
Draigo | |
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| What does it take for a man to attracted to a bbw
Posted: 6/29/2006 12:48:22 PM | Not being sarcastic or anything, but I think that sizes between a man and a woman should be proportional. I'd feel really stupid if I'm with someone 3 times my size.
Maybe a BBW should find a BBM so that they'd look compatible.. | |
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