| Do guys in their 30s want to get married?
Posted: 6/11/2006 2:16:48 PM | I'm a female in my 30s and know quite a few women, including myself, who don't really have the urge to marry/re-marry now that they are in their 30s. Its not like I don't want a committed relationship, just going through the expense of a marriage seems silly to me to get that when I can be just as committed without a piece of paper telling me I'm supposed to be.
I figure this is no real biggie in this day and age. A lot of people opt for the common-law route. In Quebec now only 50% of long-term relationships now are actually with married couples.
I might get married if it was really important to the person I was with just because I don't have anything really against marriage.....its just not something I feel is necessary.
Just curious how local guys feel about the whole marriage thing. | |
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| Do guys in their 30s want to get married?
Posted: 6/11/2006 2:33:40 PM | I'm not a guy and I'm not 30, but I'm going to reply anyway.
I don't see me ever getting married. There are several reasons for this. The biggest one is I wouldn't want to belong to anyone. I've never belonged to anyone and would not want to start at my age. I've never understood the whole idea of changing my last name or taking on someone else's. And to be completely honest, since I've lost both parents, I really don't see me making such a big deal out of an event that neither of them could share in. It wouldn't be a happy day for me, that's for sure.
And with the whole divorce percentages...doesn't even seem worth it. | |
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| Do guys in their 30s want to get married?
Posted: 6/11/2006 3:54:27 PM | Polly I read this and some of your other posts and think you've got it all wrong. As a result you may be too negative to get married, and are opting for the next best thing. You are right though in that a marriage may not be necessary. I will add however that if children are going to be involved, you should provide that "stable environment" for them.
It doesn't matter what 50% of the population, in another province is doing, it's what you and your partner will do to keep things together. I've never been married, but have run into a lot of negativity out there towards it. If a person is serious willing to commit to a serious realtionship it is scary, but you have to be open and give to get. It's like I keep telling myself; It's not where you go to meet someone it's being open when you get there. To make a relationship work both parties have to realize that it's not about winning or losing, it's sharing so both win.
A marriage is still forever in my book. If I do get married someday, and hopefully sooner than later, I just hope to find a lady who still believes as well. Don't give up hope. | |
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| Do guys in their 30s want to get married?
Posted: 6/11/2006 4:02:37 PM | Polly I think you've got it all wrong and as a result may be too negative to get married
Give up hope? As I said, its not that have anything particularly against marriage. Its just not something "I" feel is necessary. I am not affliliated with any religion so don't even have that reason to get married. I don't need a piece of paper to tell me I'm committed to someone. I don't feel bitter towards marriage, its just not something I see as necessary to having a committed relationship.
I've been married, its cost a lot of money and didn't last. I've had common-law relationships that have lasted longer. | |
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| Do guys in their 30s want to get married?
Posted: 6/11/2006 4:17:50 PM |
I will add however that if children are going to be involved, you should provide that "stable environment" for them.
Being married doesn't necessarily provide that "stable environment". Marriage doesn't fix everything. | |
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| Do guys in their 30s want to get married?
Posted: 6/11/2006 4:21:42 PM | | I have to agree with cjnormore. My parents were married and our household was anything but stable. We kids were the collateral damage in our parents war zone. Oh, btw, I have no interest in marriage. No surprise there I guess. | |
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| Do guys in their 30s want to get married?
Posted: 6/11/2006 4:24:20 PM | | I grew up in a house where I never saw my parents fight...sure they did, but not in front of me....and I think that caused me to idealize relationships. Therefore...I will probably never find someone "perfect" enough to marry | |
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| Do guys in their 30s want to get married?
Posted: 6/11/2006 4:24:47 PM |
My parents were married and our household was anything but stable. We kids were the collateral damage in our parents war zone.
Its a shame when that happens. Luckily I grew up in a very happy stable home.
I'd probably like to get married eventually down the road, but for all the right reasons - Its only going to happen the one time. | |
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~Tia~
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Joined: 7/17/2005
Msg: 10 | |
| Do guys in their 30s want to get married?
Posted: 6/11/2006 4:31:04 PM | My parents have been happily married for 44 years as of 2 Friday's ago. Other members of the extended family have been married longer. Most of them have married once, and remained married, happily. There are only a few in the extended family who have divorced, some have remarried, some haven't. There are no scars that make me dislike marriage.
My opinion, however, is that since I have no intention of having children,and I have no religious affiliations whatsoever, I see no reason to get married. I am capable of being completely committed to my man (if he'd ever appear!  ) without a piece of paper that tells everyone else about that committment. I'm not against marriage, I just don't see it as a committment with any more or less depth than common-law, or handfasting. The committment is within the people involved, not in whether or not they go through some ceremony to show others. | |
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| Do guys in their 30s want to get married?
Posted: 6/11/2006 4:38:24 PM | | My parents are seperated and my dad is going to remarry....I always wanted to get married...my husband didnt until he met me.. He said he seen no reason to ever get married until he met me and realized it would just complete things. I agree with Tia's point of you and i agree with my point of view..that to alot of people married is the ultimate commitment and i'm glad to have done it. Do i think I'm more in love with my husband then say someone who has been common-law for 4 years..absolutly not! I don't think it signifies love. I dont believe married people are more in love then couples who arent. I just believe it's up to the person and what they believe in......Arrrrghhhh i just read over my post and all i do is ramble i was never good with expressing myself with words..hahaha | |
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| Do guys in their 30s want to get married?
Posted: 6/11/2006 5:46:23 PM | | Marriage is a peice of paper, do you really need one to tell that special someone you love them and will be with them for life? Plus I do not think the line "Till death do you part' bit is appropriate anymore as what with the numebr of divorces today. Thats not to say if I reall felt "she" was the one that I wouldn't give it a shot..but you never know till it happens or comes up. | |
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| Do guys in their 30s want to get married?
Posted: 6/11/2006 7:00:39 PM | | I have nothing against marrage but I am not specifically looking for it. I think that if the committment is there then the paper dosent really mean anything except to other people. If its not there then whats the point. I have known too many people who got married for all the wrong reasons, from the "fixing things" to one who had decided she was getting married at 25 and just married the guy who happened to be around then. If I get married I want it to be with the right one and forever. | |
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| Do guys in their 30s want to get married?
Posted: 6/11/2006 7:02:59 PM | I so look forward to my saying "I do".....a celebration i've never witnessed before. Hmmmmmmmmmm i so wait............rock on commitment. passion and love. | |
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| Do guys in their 30s want to get married?
Posted: 6/11/2006 7:09:55 PM | | I think a marrage cirtificate is just another way for the government to take my hard earn money!!! If i am in a serious relationship with some I am 110% dedicated and faithful to that person...I don't need that piece of paper to solidify our relationship. | |
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| Do guys in their 30s want to get married?
Posted: 6/11/2006 7:12:24 PM | These are all interesting points of view. However, I have to say....do we maybe just convince ourselves we are happy without things simply because we do not have them? Just a thought
Personally, if I was dating someone and knew they weren't open to the idea of marriage it could very well be a dealbreaker for me. I want to be married someday, not today, but someday, it is more than a piece of paper to me | |
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| Do guys in their 30s want to get married?
Posted: 6/11/2006 7:27:53 PM | | I was a little confused and waiting for the rest of the sentence... As for marriage I once had a wedding completely planned, it was to be a large outdoor event, I think if ever again the option come up I would choose to go away. As for men and if they want to get married, I would have to say in my circle of male friends it is probably 50-50. | |
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~Tia~
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Joined: 7/17/2005
Msg: 20 | |
| Do guys in their 30s want to get married?
Posted: 6/11/2006 8:59:33 PM |
These are all interesting points of view. However, I have to say....do we maybe just convince ourselves we are happy without things simply because we do not have them? Just a thought
Personally, if I was dating someone and knew they weren't open to the idea of marriage it could very well be a dealbreaker for me. I want to be married someday, not today, but someday, it is more than a piece of paper to me
You bring up an interesting point Dimples. I can't speak for anyone else, but I know that I've felt the same way about marriage and children since before I ever had a date, so it's not a matter of convincing myself I don't want what I don't have.
I'm not against marriage, and if the right guy showed up in my life and marriage was a requirement for he and I to be together, then I'd probably get married. It's just not something that I personally need to have to prove a committment.
There's also the fact that I personally believe that marriage is something that is more about religion and faith, and being married in the eyes of your God, and since I'm agnostic, that doesn't fit my lifestyle. I can compromise to make the right man happy, but I'll never marry just because I need that piece of paper and all the trappings that go with it.
Now, children on the other hand. That's something I will absolutely not compromise on, no matter who he is. I will not have my own natural children. I have no problem with a man who has his own children, but having my own is something I've never wanted. That hasn't changed in over 20 years, I can't see it changing now. | |
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| Do guys in their 30s want to get married?
Posted: 6/12/2006 1:25:31 AM | after being married once, lm in no rush to do it again .
but thats not to say l wouldnt do it again ,,its just that l would wait a lot longer
l think both people, should feel the same way about it ...
no pressure to do it ,,,, | |
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| Do guys in their 30s want to get married?
Posted: 6/12/2006 5:16:21 PM | UNDER NO CONVIEVABLE SITUATION WOULD I EVER GET MARRIED!
i was common law and i lost everything to a woman who cheated on me. no way Jose. i dont have anything left to take and the way the family court works now Id be going to deptors prison for sure. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Id rather chew broken glass. and gargle with iodine. | |
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| Do guys in their 30s want to get married?
Posted: 6/12/2006 5:56:37 PM | Haha 'not dating' not to make light of your pain... But why don't you tell us how you really feel?
But one good thing that is working in your favour is you choosing to gargle with iodine, as that will kill all the germs that might be on that glass you previously chewed! | |
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| Do guys in their 30s want to get married?
Posted: 6/15/2006 4:27:49 PM | well maybe so , but theres no way a man gains anything by getting married ,he stands ta lose everything by devorse courts in canada.trust me been there done that.  | |
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