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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > What does a man mean by "taking things slow"???      Home login  
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 eaudeparfum
Joined: 6/13/2006
Msg: 1
What does a man mean by "taking things slow"???Page 1 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
i have heard this a few times in my life. What always makes me laugh is how "slow" doesn"t figure into the equation when it comes to sex...

So guys: What does "taking it slow" mean to you?
 will_nevergiveup
Joined: 4/15/2006
Msg: 2
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 4:15:34 PM
Taking it slow = I'll "do" you but don't expect me to commit in ANY way.

It's one notch below "friends with benefits"
 ducksquat
Joined: 10/26/2005
Msg: 3
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What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 4:19:52 PM
Taking things "slow" means different things to different people. Some have a fear of commitment because of past experiences. Some are simply cautious of women who may be overly clingy. It can be anything and cannot simply be lumped into one answer.
 Adam Taylor
Joined: 5/11/2006
Msg: 4
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What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 4:20:09 PM
If a guy wants to take it slow, but still wants sex... it means he thinks that you're good enough to sleep with, but not good enough to try for a relationship.

Friends with benefits kinda thing.

Otherwise known as he's an ass and you should drop him quick.
 kap10cavy1963
Joined: 4/15/2006
Msg: 5
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 4:25:48 PM
Take things slow, means my zipper is stuck.
 optimistichappylady
Joined: 10/25/2005
Msg: 6
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 4:43:18 PM
I agree with you duck_squat. Everyone's definition is different. Just as everyone has a different interpretation of "friends with benefits". I know I am opening myself up to be slammed but.....why are "friends with benefits" considered so low on everyone's relationship scale. From the prior posts I get the feeling you all believe the situation arises because the person is there and because you can't find anyone. I totally disagree. A "friend with benefits" situation is not something you jump into haphazardly like a one night stand or a quick fling....well at least I don't. There is a mutual understanding and a bond that I don't have with everybody. Mutually satisfying each others needs and desires without any strings is very refreshing. To know the person is there for me emotionally and physically without pushing for more is great. Because neither one of us is ready for a commitment I see nothing wrong with it.

The female version of "taking it slow" for me was----->>>YOU ARE SUFFOCATING ME!!! Back off a bit...

Just my two cents worth.
 rick0415
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 7
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 4:43:48 PM
If both parties are agreeable to taking things slow I think it means they're going to take time to get to know one another, develop a strong bond and explore the things that connect two people such as similar interests, likes and dislikes etc.

While there may be an instant attraction to someone and on some level an immediate connection, it takes time to get to know each other enough to be able to say you have a real and meaningful relationship.

Too often we let the initial infatuation fool us into thinking you've found "the one". So by taking things slow you grow together at a nice steady pace and that just makes it that much stronger and able to withstand the inevitable disagreements that will come up from time to time.

Having said all that, I think relationships take on a life of their own and move at a pace that is very difficult to control. Those that have promise will move quickly, those that don't will stagnate sooner rather than later.
 cute_physics_guy
Joined: 1/12/2006
Msg: 8
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What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 4:44:43 PM
~What does a man mean by taking things slow ?~

If they still want sex, it means this

I'm gonna F*** you softly
I'm gonna screw you gently
I'm gonna hump you sweetly
I'm gonna ball you discreetly

If they are waiting on sex, it means, I want to get to know you, then do the above.
 Adam Taylor
Joined: 5/11/2006
Msg: 9
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What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 4:45:29 PM
If someone wants to take it slow, in all regards, sex included... then that's understandable.
Usually they've been hurt before, and just want to be careful.

But when they want to take it slow as far as commitment... but still want sex...
Then they're not someone to bother with.
 browneyedcornflakekiller
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 10
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 4:51:06 PM
As someone else has already said it means different things to different people. Yes, often times it's just a smoke screen. The garbage that flows out of a guys mouth to make her think "He's different". -Only to be dispelled when he tries the de-panty maneuver by the third date.

Some men say it and mean it though and the words are to be taken at face value. But those who say it and mean usually find out that most chicks are just like most guys. They want sex and they don't want to wait for it
 shiloh41
Joined: 4/8/2006
Msg: 11
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 4:51:33 PM
well which slow do you mean lol if its taking it slow in a relationship it means he or she has been hurt before and probablly is scared of a commitment maybe its all too soon for the individual,you know its a good idea to take things slowly anyways good things happen to those whom wait best wishes
ciao shiloh
 HB2
Joined: 5/11/2005
Msg: 12
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 4:56:15 PM
Men want to get to know us like we want to get to know them...
They really do have hearts that have been wounded...somewhere, deep inside where we can't find them LOL jk guys!
But there are those that use it as a way from committing...
 Couplelooking4fun
Joined: 5/4/2006
Msg: 13
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 4:59:36 PM
Take things slow means I like you but I dont want you hanging around me every second because I have a life of my own. You have to tell some women to take it slow because if you dont then they will hang around you so much you will think they are a part of your body. Taking it slow doesnt mean I just want you for sex though. It means just that take it slow and lets see where this goes.
 randyforyou
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 14
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 4:59:51 PM
well think the guy wants it to work out so he decides to go slower with you .
 LolaShy
Joined: 5/25/2006
Msg: 15
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 5:06:23 PM
Does it not mean--"He wants to get to know you"? All of you? That he won't sleep with everything that walks? Oh my--I think I've been out of the dating scene too long, if this statement means something different.
 truthisee
Joined: 12/25/2005
Msg: 16
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 5:09:39 PM
It's hard to commit to someone after you've been hurt.....

Taking things slow is a good way to find out who a person really is....

The first few dates are a feeling out process, for me anyway, It's a time to decide if I want to open myself to this person....if I really want a relationship....with that person anyways..

Why rush?.....
 singleguy64
Joined: 5/27/2006
Msg: 17
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 5:10:42 PM

Take things slow means I like you but I dont want you hanging around me every second because I have a life of my own. You have to tell some women to take it slow because if you dont then they will hang around you so much you will think they are a part of your body. Taking it slow doesnt mean I just want you for sex though. It means just that take it slow and lets see where this goes.


Ah, a kindred soul. Slow means, lets get to know each other, I'm not looking for sex and we're not going there unless I think its going to work between us.

.. and then we meet and after the first date she's talking about marriage, or calling/emailing me 10x a day, or whatever.. and I go "whoa horsie!" and back way off. Not my definition of "slow"...
 canali
Joined: 4/11/2006
Msg: 18
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 5:14:49 PM
just amazes me that anyone would even have to ask for a clarification of this phrase...and if you DO, why not just ask the person directly instead of this stupid forum topic
 ascuteasabug
Joined: 8/8/2003
Msg: 19
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 5:20:46 PM
For those men that have answered that take it slow should include no sex until you think things are going to go somewhere, my hat is off to you. However, I have found most men that say take it slow are not nearly as willing to wait for sex. I feel it's their way of getting what they want without "lying" because they don't want a commitment.
 AliasIncognito
Joined: 12/25/2005
Msg: 20
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 5:28:49 PM
Men and women seem to have different definitions.

To men I’m pretty sure it means “Don’t you dare use the L word too soon or I’m out of here.” Men don’t equate love and sex the way many women do.

Women need a reason for sex, men just need a place.

Women give sex for love, while men give love for sex.
 Bryantinfl
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 21
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 5:31:59 PM

If a guy wants to take it slow, but still wants sex... it means he thinks that you're good enough to sleep with, but not good enough to try for a relationship.

Friends with benefits kinda thing.

Otherwise known as he's an ass and you should drop him quick.


OH MY GOD!!!! I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT!!!

That is exactly what I have always believed and was seconds away from typing it here when I read your comment. It's like you were reading my thoughts.

WAY too weird. But validating. Thanks.
 tinum
Joined: 6/14/2006
Msg: 22
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 5:47:59 PM
there is slow and there is slow. I can't really say about me coz seldom I think I have had to say this. if I am with someone its because I like her, going slow or fast is not even an issue, its going the way its supposed to go, the speed should be natural on both sides. I have met women who told me that they wanted to take it slow. I have no problem with that. where i have a problem is their sense of going slow means seing me twice a month or maybe 5 to 6 hours a month. how the hell she ever going to get to know me that way? its going to take like 5 years before you get to know what the other person's favorite meal is.
 sparticuss
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 23
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 5:52:59 PM
If a guy wants to take it slow, but still wants sex... it means he thinks that you're good enough to sleep with, but not good enough to try for a relationship.
===================================

Not quite, or more accurrately not enough.

Here's a little list of several things that men may want to take slow.

Note that these are all "things". And you can take as many, or as few "things" from this list as you wish.

- sex
- dating
- relationship
- co habitation
- marriage
- meeting your relatives

now let me ask a question. Why is it that the sex is the only thing that the girls want to take slow. Crikey! Even when they're married they are still rusing into the divorce.
 lovingit66
Joined: 3/27/2006
Msg: 24
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 6:11:31 PM
I believe it means I like you and want to shag you - but I know you are more into me than I am and I am letting you know that I cant give you what you want.................
 cartographer
Joined: 3/20/2006
Msg: 25
What does a man mean by taking things slow???
Posted: 6/15/2006 6:44:01 PM
Who says sex doesn't figure into the equation of slow? I guess only people who want sex and to be over with it. My goodness, I may be a virgin because I insist sex come later. Why? Tell me, would you really have sex with a person you think you might not know in a couple weeks, a couple months, or a couple years? What if of all things that happens you got her pregnant on the first try? Anything is possible. Then nine months down the road, the relationship is broken, who is going to take care of the child if she can't find another man? I would never want to put that imposition on a lady. We'd better get to know each other well, and then decide OK, it seems that the relationship is going to build to an engagement and a marriage eventually, let's not wait for sex, or wait for it until we are married. If we discovered pregnancy happened, I'd be happy to walk in the court house that day and call ourselves married, and worry about a wedding till much later if that's what she wanted. But honestly, one really has to build a bond of mutual trust before going overboard with sex and other things could require a longer term relationship. At least that has always been my belief. Others may disagree, and they are welcome to. So yes, I'm happy to wait on sex till the day we are comfortable to have it and have no qualms about where the relationship is going.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > What does a man mean by "taking things slow"???